There are a ton of reasons why your sex life is on life support, however the best thing to remember is that most issues inside the bedroom can be fixed with a little practice and know-how. Whether it's your busy schedule, lack of sex drive, or missing self-confidence, having a weak sex game is cause for concern. To get things back on track, first make sure that there is nothing physically wrong by visiting a doctor. Once you're cleared, you can indulge in the fun process of bringing the spark back in between the sheets.
Sex should be enjoyable, so don't get to wrapped up in your head about things, and just relax and let nature take its course. To help you out, we've compiled a list of tips to take your sex life from weak to wow in no time. Get ready…to get it in!
Make A List Of Fantasies And Take Turns Acting Them Out
Featured image by Giphy
We all have reasons why we're hesitant to step outside of our comfort zone and shake our lives up by going down a completely different path, but once you realize that discomfort is often what pushes you to find your purpose, you'll be more open to giving it a try.
Make no mistake, it's definitely not an easy thing to do. With the combination of your family and friends telling you how crazy you are and your own inner self-doubt, leaving your comfort zone takes courage, but that is what makes it significant, because most people are afraid to even attempt it.
Once you decide that you are officially leaving your comfort zone behind, the next thing to do is to put your plan into action. Whether you hope to improve your career, your love life, your health or a myriad of other things, following a specific set of steps can make the transition easier.
We put together some ways to step outside of your comfort and never look back!
1. Embrace Discomfort
Feeling discomfort during your process, especially in the beginning, is expected and instead of letting it deter you from your end goal, use it as fuel to keep going. When embarking on anything new, there is always a level of discomfort, but if you don't begin, you won't get the end results you're seeking.
2. Turn Failure Into A Learning Experience
Some of the most successful people in the world failed more than once in their lives and it's nothing to be ashamed of. If it takes you a few tries to find your rhythm, that's okay, take that failure and learn from it by not making the same mistakes again. If everything comes easy, you won't appreciate it as much because there is often beauty in the struggle.
3. Have A Clear Vision Of What You Want To Achieve
If you have a clear vision of exactly what it is that you want to achieve from the very beginning, it makes things a lot easier. Write your vision down, say a personal mantra to yourself, or visualize yourself getting exactly what you want. These are all ways to fine-tune your vision of success while you're still in the process of making it a reality.
4. Pace Yourself
Slow down, you don't have to do everything a warp speed. Putting a time limit on things can easily make you feel worse about stepping outside your comfort zone because if you don't hit certain milestones within a specific time frame, you'll feel like a failure. Instead, pace yourself by setting smaller, realistic goals to achieve that are doable for you and your endgame.
5. Filter Out Doubt
Doubt can come from all sides when you decide to step outside your box. From your family/friends, co-workers, or even yourself, doubt has a way of polluting your process. Try to block it out and focus on positivity and why you're doing this in the first place. Believe in yourself even when it gets hard because those are the moments when doubt likes to filter in the most.
6. Put A Support System In Place
As much as we all like to think we can conquer any and everything on our own, there is nothing wrong with asking for guidance, advice, or help. Implement a support system to help you as you transition to something new. Ask those who have done it before what their process was like, call on your most supportive loved ones to pick you back up when you want to throw in the towel. Simply surround yourself with as much positivity as possible.
7. Remember Why You’re Doing It
In those moments when you want to give up and revert back to your old routine, remember why you wanted to step outside your comfort zone in the first place. That will help give you the motivation you need to see things through to the end.
Featured image by DISRUPTIVO on Unsplash
If it's been a hectic six months and you're in desperate need for some rest and relaxation with all the members of your girl squad, we have some destination choices you're sure to love. There's a little something for everyone, including wine-tasting, islands, beaches, and nightlife. Since many of us only take one to two vacations a year, it's important to make each experience a worthwhile collection of celebration, fun, and new adventures.
Check out our list of the best summer vacation destinations for you and your girls—and let us know where you plan to go this summer!
1. New Orleans
brown and gray 3-story buildingPhoto by Rosie Kerr on UnsplashThis was a no-brainer for a spot on our list! After the huge success of last year's hit film Girls Trip, groups of girlfriends galore were planning their next vacation to NOLA as soon as they left the theater. New Orleans has practically everything you need to have an amazing vacation experience with your girls. There's the NOLA nightlife, the rich cultural history, irresistible food, and knowing you're in one of the last places in the country that truly appreciates the beauty of jazz.
2. Turks and Caicos
green palm tree near seashorePhoto by Libby Giambrone on UnsplashThere are many island locales to visit where you're sure to have a great time, however there is something to be said for a place that's a little less popular. This sentiment is exactly why Turks and Caicos should be a strong contender for your next girls trip experience. The beaches are literally breathtaking, with miles of crystal clear blue waters and gorgeous white sand. The fresh seafood is heavenly and the overall laid back atmosphere is ideal for plenty of relaxing days and nights.
3. Napa Valley
Photo by Alexander Gamanyuk on UnsplashWe all have those friends in our group who claim to be the ultimate wine connoisseur, so a vacation to the vino-lover's paradise, Napa Valley, is the perfect destination. There is always time for wine, especially while on vacation, so deep-diving into the Napa vineyards is a win-win situation. From wine tours and unlimited tastings to exquisite cuisine and picturesque vineyard views, Napa is where the grown-ups go to get away from it all.
4. Las Vegas
bird's-eye view photography of concrete high-rise buildingsPhoto by Ken Yam on UnsplashWhen the turn up is real and experiencing lituations is the ultimate goal, there's only one place to go and you already know what it is…Vegas baby! You and your girls are guaranteed to make memories, bad decisions, and have enough secrets between each other to last a lifetime after a Las Vegas vacation. In Vegas, partying is the main goal, so rest up, drink your water, and brace yourself for more fun than you can handle.
5. Cancun
dock during daytimePhoto by Andreas M on UnsplashHugely popular for spring break and honeymoons, Cancun is also one of the best places for a girlfriend getaway to rival many others. Most people who visit Cancun once likely return and it's obvious why. The sun, sand, culture, and food are enough to keep you pretty satisfied, but it's the nightlife activities where you and your girls will have the best time.
6. Jamaica
man peeling coconutPhoto by Kevin Sanon on UnsplashWhat's better than being surrounded by enough melanin to last a lifetime? Not much, which is why vacationing in Jamaica is an absolute must. Beautiful black people all around, coupled with an unlimited offering of Caribbean food and music, is the setting for a girls trip that might actually have you staying longer than you anticipated.
7. Miami
body of water near of city high-rise buildingsPhoto by Muzammil Soorma on UnsplashWhen you want a quick and easily accessible summer beach experience, a girls' vacation to Miami is the way to go. Their weather is practically paradise and you might damage the strip on your debit card courtesy of all the shopping available.
8. Hilton Head
gray concrete pathway between green grass field under gray sky during daytimePhoto by Mitchell Hartley on UnsplashThis South Carolina island has the perfect combination of southern charm, gorgeous views, and a relaxing experience you likely won't expect, but will definitely embrace. If hard partying full of hangovers is not for you and your girlfriends, this vacation spot offers a nice change of pace—with peace of mind to match.
9. Bahamas
seashore during daytimePhoto by Cristofer Jeschke on UnsplashYou can always count on the Bahamas to provide a good time, including a girls' trip. Soak up all the sun you can handle, as you and your girls make sunset memories while posing for the 'gram. When the drinks start flowing and the island vibes reach a fever pitch, that's when you know you're in paradise.
10. Hawaii
aerial photography of green mountain beside body of water under white skyPhoto by Braden Jarvis on UnsplashWidely known as the place for lovers, Hawaii is also a beautiful vacation spot for friends to experience together as well. The rich culture is apparent from the moment you land and it continues until you say goodbye. The cuisine is a once-in-a-lifetime experience, but it's the overwhelming amount of beauty that surrounds you and your girls that makes it worthy.
Want more stories like this? Check out these xoNecole related reads:
5 "Friends" Who Need to Be Excluded From Your Next Girls Trip
How To Travel The World With A Full-Time Job
4 Affordable Bucket List Travel Destinations You Can Do On Any Budget
Featured image by Getty Images
You've got your education, your dream job, the love of your life, your family, and you look better than ever…so why are you still so unhappy? It's a question that many women find themselves asking and the answer is not always immediately available. On paper, you've seemingly checked off everything on life's to-do list, but somehow you're still left with feelings of unfulfillment, restlessness, and even depression.
We often stress about making it, but never really discuss what happens once you get there.
There are a few factors that can make someone still feel unhappy after achieving everything they set out to do. Perhaps the dreams you had and conquered weren't yours at all, but someone else's dreams for you instead. Or maybe you were simply doing what you thought you should, as dictated by society's standards.
Regardless of the reason, it's important to know that you are certainly not alone, as many also feel the same way. It's kind of like the excitement and anticipation you had when you were a kid on Christmas morning when you couldn't wait to open your new presents—you played with them for a little while, but then you were in search of something else.
One of the easiest ways to tackle this feeling head on is to find out just exactly what it is that will make you happy, not anyone else.
Write down a list of your true passions and desires that have absolutely nothing to do with the life you're currently living. Once you write them down, it allows you to visualize making them a reality. Also, don't be afraid to change things up if your heart is no longer in it. If your job, relationship, financial situation, or even the way you look, are no longer serving you in a healthy and productive way it may be time to reevaluate some things or let them go entirely.
Since we live in the social media era where appearance matters more than reality, it can easily cause you to get caught up in the current climate of blurred reality lines. You don't need to put on for anyone and the only person's approval you should seek is your own. You read stories all the time about how someone left a lucrative corporate job to embrace their true passion, but while many may not understand it because they're looking at the flash, they fail to realize that all that glitters is definitely not gold.
The question really comes down to this: do you want to be happy on paper or do you want to really be happy? Whatever your answer is make sure that you come to it on your own terms—not those that were created for you by someone else.
If you find yourself having trouble answering that question, here are some easy ways you can reignite your passion and reinvigorate your life.
- Make Your Passion a Reality: Whether you have one specific thing you're passionate about or many, strive to bring them to fruition. By zeroing in on things that truly matter to you and feed your soul, you will gain a new sense of purpose in life and feel more complete.
- Schedule Time for Self-Care: Your physical, mental, and emotional well-being is essential to you being happy and feeling whole. It's easy to put yourself last, but when you are seeking a renewed fulfillment to life, one of the first things to do is to take care of yourself.
- Understand What Your Happiness Looks Like: Individual happiness is not one size fits all, it's something that should be tailor-made for each person. While those around you may think that your current situation should make you happy, you have to understand what your version of happiness is. Maybe it's living a more balanced or minimalistic life, or perhaps filling your life with helping others. Whatever it is, embrace your happiness without focusing on the judgment of others.
- Surround Yourself With Support: When deciding to embark on a new life path you may not have a ton of support, but as long as you can find at least one person who supports and understands your journey, you'll be fine. Also, you'll likely find new friends along the way who encourage you in ways that you never thought of.
- Embrace Your Mistakes: When seeking out your life's purpose and true passion, it's completely normal to make mistakes and have some failures along the way. Adversity makes you stronger, so when you reach your final destination of happiness, it will be even sweeter because you know the challenges you faced to get there.
Featured image by Getty Images
Whether she's commanding your weekly attention on the hit ABC drama How To Get Away With Murder or winning an Academy Award for her exhilarating turn in 2016's Fences, Davis consistently knocks it out the park with every performance.
This fall, fans are in for a treat as Davis leads an impressive female cast in the highly-anticipated film Widows, from 12 Years A Slave director Steve McQueen. The upcoming film's first trailer has just been released and it's safe to say, you've never seen Viola Davis in a role quite like this one.
Widows/FOX
The film's synopsis sounds like it could be one of the year's most memorable offerings. A remake of the 1980s British TV series of the same name, Widows is set in contemporary Chicago and follows the story of four women with nothing in common except a debt left behind by their dead husbands' heist attempt. Tensions build when Veronica (Davis), Alice (Elizabeth Debicki), Linda (Michelle Rodriguez), and Belle (Cynthia Erivo) take their fate into their own hands and conspire to forge a future on their own terms.
Widows/FOX
The film also stars Liam Neeson, Daniel Kaluuya, Brian Tyree Henry, Andre Holland, Colin Farrell, and Robert Duvall. Kaluuya and Henry are coming off two of the year's biggest hits in film and television respectively, starring in Black Panther (Kaluuya) and FX's Atlanta (Henry).
Widows hits theaters November 16. You can check out the official trailer and images from Widows below:
Featured image via Widows/FOX
Now is the perfect time to deep dive into Netflix's streaming archives because all of the shows you watch on network TV have all ended for the season. So sit back, get comfy, and check out all black AF content on Netflix you need to add to your Watchlist!
1. Currently Streaming: "What Had Happened Was: Dear White People"
Netflix
If you've already finished the stellar second season of the hit series Dear White People, then this in-depth aftershow is just for you. Via Netflix's Strong Black Lead, this aftershow is exclusively streaming on Facebook and focuses on the characters, situations, and themes of the show's second season. At press time, four episodes are available and you can check them out here!
2. Available June 14: "Marlon" Season 1
NBC
Dropping on the same day as the second season premieres, get your laugh on with funnyman Marlon Wayans in this hilarious NBC sitcom, which was a surprise ratings hit last summer. The series centers on divorced couple Marlon Wayne (Wayans) and his ex-wife Ashley (Essence Atkins), as they co-parent their two children while remaining close friends.
3. Available June 15: "Set It Up"
In Netflix's newest romantic comedy starring Taye Diggs and Lucy Liu, two overworked and underpaid assistants concoct a plan to get their insufferable bosses (Diggs, Liu) off their backs by setting them up with each other…and hoping sparks fly!
4. Available June 22: "Luke Cage" Season 2
Netflix
Finally, the wait is over and season two of the exhilarating Luke Cage is almost upon us. This season, as his popularity soars, Luke Cage finds his world suddenly upended by a mysterious newcomer with astonishing powers—and sinister plans for Harlem.
5. Available June 26: "W. Kamau Bell: Private School Negro"
Activist and comedian W. Kamau Bell muses on parenting in the Trump era, "free speech" dustups, woke children's TV, and his fear of going off the grid.
6. Available June 29: "GLOW" Season 2
Armed with leotards, leg warmers, and plenty of lipstick, the women of GLOW return with style. Co-starring Kia Stephens and Sydelle Noel, the season returns for an adrenaline-packed second round.
7. Available June 29: "Nailed It!" Season 2
Netflix
Everyone's favorite amateur baking show is back, hosted by the hilarious Nicole Byer. This season is filled with all-new epic baking failures and a star-studded cast of culinary guests.
Featured image via Netflix
