‘I Felt Safe’: Jordin Sparks Opens Up About Meeting Her Husband After A 5-Year Career Break
Jordin Sparks is giving fans insight into why she took a sabbatical from music and how she met her husband Dana Isaiah Thomas in the process. After her 2015 album Right Here Right Now, Jordin didn’t release any new music again until the 2020 Christmas album Cider & Hennessy.
And in an interview with T-Pain’s Nappy Boy Radio Podcast, she revealed what was happening behind the scenes of her career that forced her to take a sabbatical. One of the reasons she shared was that she had writer’s block. “In terms of creativity, I had writer’s block from 2015 up until lockdown,” she said. “I would get into the studio, but I didn’t feel connected to anything.”
But prior to having writer’s block, the American Idol season 6 winner found herself in a lose-lose situation after her former record label dissolved. “So I put out an album in 2015 and it’s called Right Here Right Now and we did everything–well at the time what everything that you’re supposed to do to line everything up,” she said. “We had the promo tour, I went and shook all the hands with all the radio stations and all this stuff. The album came and it was like crickets ‘cause the label that I was with at the time went bankrupt.”
“And then there was another thing that happened. I can’t even remember now, it was so long ago, but there was another thing that happened like a contract went over, voided or something like that and so then that was it. I was signed to the label, so the label didn’t exist, so I wasn’t signed anymore.”
With so many changes in her career and a “big explosion” that occurred in her personal life seemingly hinting at her break up with Jason Derulo, the “No Air” singer felt it was time to “reassess my life.” She began her sabbatical in 2016 and met her husband shortly after.
“I took that sabbatical and really started to focus on myself. I was like I have so much love in my life already that I don’t need anymore,” she said. “Whatever comes into my life next is gonna be a bonus and just be an addition to the amazing life I already have. Literally, God placed him on my doorstep and we met and we never stopped talking and we’re about to celebrate five years this July.”
The mom of one also shared how she knew Dana was the one. “Sometimes when you’re dating you get giddy, crazy, anxious, sweaty, and all that stuff, but it wasn’t like that when I met him,” she said. “It was safe. I felt safe. I felt comfort and I felt like, I know with him, we’re gonna elevate and do much more and I’m gonna be able to do much more than I ever could by myself. Seriously, I wouldn’t be sitting with you right now if he didn’t help me see who I was again and push me and get me there. So, that’s bae right there.”
The couple got married in 2017 and they share a son Dana Isaiah Thomas Jr. together.
Jordin Sparks The American Treasure | T-Pain's NBR Podcast EP #29
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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