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Not Sure You Want Kids? 7 Things To Seriously Ponder.
While I can relate to pretty much all of the personal content that I write on this site on some sort of level, as someone who decided at 45 that I'm 90 percent sure that I don't want to be a mother (even via adoption), this is one that is really close to my heart. The reason why I say that is because, although I am a doula, a godmother to two (technically three but that's a long story) beautiful girls, and kids and I have a truly remarkable connection (even random ones I see when I'm out), at this stage in my life, I am at peace with not being someone's mom.
It's not like I thought it would turn out this way. I've shared on this site before that when folks ask me if I am a mother, my response is usually something along the lines of, "I'm a mom of four aborted children" because that is indeed the case (check out "Why I Named The Children I Aborted"). I mean, isn't it interesting that when we want to have a child, the moment we see a positive sign on a pregnancy test, we say, "I'm having a baby!" and yet, if the pregnancy isn't desired, suddenly it's a debate if there is significant and profound life growing within? The conflicted resolves of humanity, boy. Besides, I knew what I was doing, every time I got on that table. And while I've spent years healing from the childhood abuse, relational trauma and low sense of self-worth — things that all played a role in why 1993-1999 was such a battlefield for me in this area — on this side of healing, there is a part of me that believes that while I would've been a good mom, if there was a part of me that made the choices that I did because I didn't entirely desire to be one. Not way deep down.
No, I'm not justifying that I should've used condoms more nor am I coming at you like abortions should be a form of birth control. Lord, that's all another discussion for another time and I certainly own my part in my recklessness. What I'm saying is, while I thought in my 20s-30s that becoming a mother was inevitable, throughout my decisions and due to the peace I feel now, I can't help but wonder if I was more caught up in thinking that I was supposed to want to be a mother rather than I actually longed for it to be a part of my reality. Because you know what, y'all? What we really want to make happen in this life, we really do tend to go out of our way to make it so.
Yeah, I know that's pretty deep for an intro yet I thought it was important for me to share because, if you're someone who is currently on the fence about whether or not to have children yourself, it's absolutely essential for you to ponder your own life choices in this area — if you are preparing for motherhood or doing what moves you further away from it. And while you're doing that, how about you ask yourself the following seven questions as well?
1. Do You Even Like Children?
While some folks will look at this question in sheer horror, I know better. That's because I know some really good people who honestly can't stand kids. Not like they want to do them bodily harm (those are psychos) or anything. It's just that, if they could go their entire lives without seeing a child, they wouldn't lose any sleep over it. In fact, what's kind of funny about this is I know a guy who is a dad and while he's actually a pretty good father, he says all of the time that he can't stand children and if he could do life all over again, he definitely would've been wiser on the birth control tip.
Again, this is nothing to feel bad about or ashamed of because there is no rule that says every decent human being has to have a love affair with little people. What I will say, though, is you are definitely selling your potential future children short if you are going to try and love them without really liking them because kids require A LOT and liking them can definitely make the rough days easier. So, if you're someone who doesn't really seek out time to hang with little folks, you're not big on being a "love auntie" or you are more polite to children than embracing of them, it could be because you're cool with them existing yet not super geeked about them being in your personal world. That's fine. Yet again, why become a mom if that is indeed the case?
2. Are You Too “Selfish” to Be a Mom?
The reason why I wrote articles for the site like, "What If It's Your Parents Who Happen To Be The Narcissists?" and "Here's How To Know If You've Got 'Mama Issues'" is because a lot of us are recovering from folks who, let's be honest, were way too self-consumed to become a parent. Some of our needs went unmet because of it. Promises were broken because of it. Hell, some of us barely even know our parents — then or now — because everything in the world but us was made to be a top priority for them. Case in point, I know a guy who says that he knows he's a commitment-phobe to this day, in part, because his mother put her career ahead of him. He was the baby — a surprise. And because she didn't plan on having more than two children, let alone four, she left him in another state with her parents so that she could go pursue her education. Then, once she got it, she spent more time mentoring students via her career than bonding with him, her son. Now, as a direct result, he's afraid of getting serious with a woman and making children with her because he's not sure if he'll make the same kind of decisions that his mom did — not because he wants to; because it's all that he knows. Damn shame.
I can't tell you how many times I've looked across at an engaged couple and rolled my eyes right in front of them and it's all because one or both are way too selfish for a selfless dynamic like marriage. Parenting requires even more selflessness. So, if it needs to be all about you. If you're not willing to make sacrifices. If, in your mind, you are never wrong. If you're not good at being flexible. If you don't know how to humble yourself and apologize for your mistakes and bad decisions. If you've got to "win" all of the time. If you suck at sharing. If your needs always have to come first — if this is you, it's OK to own that.
If you don't want to change, that is totally your right. Yet why you would subject a child to you being that way is beyond me, sis. Selfishness is about being self-consumed. Folks like that need to stay with on their own— not raise some kids.
3. Can You Afford Them?
OK, so here's the thing about this particular point. Did you know that from 0-17, the average cost that it currently takes to raise a child is somewhere around $233,610? That's roughly $14,000 each year. Yeah, kids ain't cheap. Not only that but they shouldn't be raised to feel like they are a burden or that we're somehow doing them a favor by meeting their needs. Back when I was a teen mom director for the local chapter of a national non-profit, I witnessed more verbal abuse from parents than I ever would've liked and a lot of it was because the parents were so financially stressed out that they took it out on their children. Kids didn't ask to come here. Adding to that, they are going to have needs on a daily basis. A lot of those needs are going to cost money. For instance, if you decided to have a baby and put them in daycare, the currently average monthly bill that you would get is close to 700 bucks. Whew.
There are so many of us who are still healing from the PTSD of our own parents just "getting by" when it came to financially providing for us. Choosing to put your kids through that simply because "you made it out OK" is a really low bar. No one said that you need to be rich to be a mom, yet you should be realistic about if you can actually afford to be one or not (even if you can't now, be real about if you're going to put a plan in place to get ready before trying to conceive). Then follow that thought up with if you're willing to make constant sacrifices to make sure that they're gonna be good under your watch and care.
4. Are You Emotionally Mature and Self-Aware Enough for Children?
This point right here, boy. Another piece that I once wrote for the platform is "How To Recover If You Had To 'Raise Your Parents' As A Child". I'm not gonna get too deep into how much I can relate to this today. Let me just say that I get triggered when folks say, "I wanna have kids young so that I can grow with them." Honey, you need to be raising them and that requires a certain level of emotional maturity and self-awareness. Unfortunately, a lot of parents — shoot, adults, in general — lack both.
Emotionally mature people are calm. Emotionally mature people hold themselves accountable. Emotionally mature people don't constantly burden others with their "stuff" (especially not kids). Emotionally mature people aren't know-it-alls. Emotionally mature people can say "I was wrong" and "I'm sorry". Emotionally mature people don't hold grudges, pout or manipulate to get their way. Emotionally mature people don't sweat the small stuff.
As far as self-awareness goes, check out "These Are The Things Self-Aware People Do Daily" when you get a chance. For now, what I'll say is a self-aware individual knows their strengths and weakness and are intentional about improving upon both of them.
If you read any of this and honestly felt a little triggered, while that doesn't mean that you should never become a parent, I definitely recommend booking an appointment with a reputable therapist, counselor or life coach to get to the root of why you aren't as "grown up" as you probably should be at this point in your life. Because if there's one thing that a child should not be expected to do is make up for the areas where you are emotionally inadequate. You are supposed to be mentoring them; not the other way around.
5. Have You Healed from Your Own Childhood?
Speaking of sitting on somebody's couch and laying your burdens down, a few weeks ago, I wrote "Childhood-Related Questions That Can Reveal A LOT About 'Him'" for the platform. Listen y'all, the more I work with people, the more I realize, just how much one of my favorite quotes rings so very true — adulthood is surviving childhood. I mean, when I think about my ish and others', about 60-80 percent of it can be tied to something that we witnessed or experienced as a child.
I can give you an example that isn't connected to direct trauma too. I've got a friend who only likes to eat Lunchables when he gets home from work. He's almost 50. When I asked him what the deal was, he said that growing up, that's what his mother left for him until she came home to make dinner. Sometimes, she got home so late that he'd fall asleep and since she didn't want to wake him, that meant Lunchables was all that he had. Now he eats them out of habit. Another example is me and thrift/antique store shopping. It was nothing for my mother to stop by one of those or a yard sale when I was growing up. Now I find myself doing the same thing.
I didn't want to get a lot into traumatic events because I've already gotten pretty deep (I think). Yet I do want to say that we are very innocent, and while resilient also quite fragile, as children. In fact, there are many studies to support that whatever age we were abused/traumatized, we oftentimes continue to emotionally process at that age until we get some help to get "unstuck".
Have mercy. Some of us got beat because our parents got beat and we've already got it in our heads that our kids will experience it because we did. That's not nearly a good enough reason. If you know that you've got some unresolved childhood stuff going on, don't wait until after you have a child to realize you need to work through it. Now is the time to get that stuff handled, as much as possible. If you choose not to, it really is an act of love to not subject a child to the pain that you still haven't healed from.
6. Have You Thought About the Purpose of Parenting?
There's a Scripture in the Bible that says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6 — NKJV)
Here's something that I think a lot of parents miss here — it says in the way your child should go, not in the way you want them to live their life. You know, a quote that I really like says something along when two people are just alike, one of them is unnecessary. Lawd, the amount of parents who need to hear that.
It's not a child's job to become your mini-me (that is sheer ego talking). It's not a child's job to do all of the things in their life that you didn't get to do. It's not a child's job to get on the path career-wise or relationally that you think is best (whew, there are a lot of narcissistic parents in this world. Straight up). No, a good parent is someone who knows that their children are gifts from the Most High and so they need to being in constant prayer and meditation about how to prepare their little ones for being who God called them to be, not what their fallible minds want them to become.
The reason why a lot of people wreck marriage and parenting is because they go into both with absolutely no clue what the purposes are. If when it comes to the topic of having a child, all you hear running through your head is "me, me, me", you definitely need to rethink it. Because any sane parent will tell you that helping another human being become their own best self has very little to do with them and what they want personally.
7. Have You Processed How Permanent Parenting Actually Is?
Just about every time I see that Tide commercial where the grandparents talk about their daughter and all of her kids moving back in with them, I damn near hyperventilate. While I am definitely someone who subscribes to "Parents are supposed to raise adults, not children" (which means a parent's job is to make their kids transition into adulthood so that they can be self-sufficient in every way), even adult children are still their parents' kids. Not only that but sometimes life happens and things don't always go as planned. Take some friends of mine who couldn't wait for their daughter to turn 18. Let's just say that at almost 21, she is still right in their crib. Partly due to her constantly changing her mind about her life plan. Partly due to the pandemic. Partly due to her sucking at saving money.
Moral to the story? If you aren't sure if you want kids but a part of you is like, "I mean, they'll be gone at 18, so…" — don't set yourself up. Parenting, on some level, is until you or your children take their last breath. If even the thought of that freaks you out, don't rush to get pregnant. Because once they're here, they're here. On some level. To stay.
Yeah, I know this was a lot. The good news is there is abstinence, birth control and, to a large degree (especially if you're under 40 and reading this) time. My main objective in writing this is to remind us all that having children isn't a flippant decision and oftentimes, real stuff like this isn't discussed as much as it should be. If after reading what I just shared, you're like, "You know what? I think I'm good", that's something to applaud because responsible parenting isn't just about being a good parent when you have kids, it's also about knowing that you don't want to do what being a good parent requires and so you decide to put your focus elsewhere. Personally, I salute both sides of the coin. I wish more folks had been so thoughtful. And if you took all of this to heart, I'm glad that you are exceptional in this way. I mean it. Salute.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
These Newlyweds Found Love Thanks To A Friend Playing Matchmaker
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
Jason and Elise Robinson’s union is a reminder that kind people still get their happily ever after. The pair had their first date in October of 2021 and tied the knot on June 15, 2024. Both of them have dedicated their lives to celebrating and supporting Black culture so it was only fitting they get married in what's considered the Black Hollywood of America during the Juneteenth celebration weekend. From the florists to Elise and Jason's gown and suit designers to the table signage and so much more, everything was Black-owned. It's no wonder their love for Black culture was the jumping-off point for their love story.
When they met, Jason had just moved to Atlanta for a new job opportunity, and Elise was living happily in her career and had put dating on the backburner. But luckily, a mutual connection saw something in both of them and thanks to a yoga-themed baby shower and a chance text message, they found their forever. Check out their beautiful How We Met story below.
I’ll start with the easiest question. Can you both tell me a little bit about yourself and your background?
Elise: Sure, my name is Elise. I’m actually from Atlanta, GA – not a transplant. I grew up here and left right after college to pursue my career. Now I’ve been back going on eight years, and I’m in my early 40s.
Jason: And I’m Jason. I’m originally from Racine, Wisconsin. I went to school at Florida A&M University, so I am a rattler. I went back to the Midwest for a period of time, in Indianapolis. Now, I’ve been in the Atlanta area for a little over two and a half years.
Jason and Elise Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Wow, that’s nice because Atlanta gets a bad rap when it comes to relationships. So you have to give us the deets. How did you two find each other?
Elise: So I work in TV and I was on-air for a number of years and then transitioned into being a producer and then a manager. As a producer, I’d always have guests on. And there was a woman who came on frequently named Rosalynn (@Rosalynndaniels, often referred to as The Black Martha Stewart), and we connected instantly. Anyway, she got pregnant right before COVID and invited me to a “modern-day yoga baby shower.” I came to support, but was also just curious about that theme.
I had an amazing time. And when it was over a few of us stuck around and convos got personal. She ended up asking me the infamous ‘Are you dating’ question. When I told her no, she decided to set me up. So I should tell you, in both of my only two serious relationships, I was set up – so I was like no.
But she pointed at her husband, who was folding up chairs, and said that another friend set her up with him. Sometimes, it takes people outside of us to see what we need. A few months later, she reached out and said she had family relocating and thought I’d really like him. So she gave him my number, and I reached out with a text. He responded with a call, and that night, we talked for about 2-3 hours. So that’s how we met. I was a little nervous because me and Rosalynn were starting a friendship, and here I was, talking to her family!
Jason: It was new for me too. Remember, I was new to the area, and I had heard so many “stories” about how people have been done wrong in the dating world. Whether it’s by theft or scamming (laughs). Plus, I had just got a new job and wanted to focus on that. But I did want to be able to date someone in a more personal way and see where it led. I felt like who better than someone who I trust to connect me. Rosalynn knows I’m private, about business life, and my personal life is important to me.
So let’s get into your courtship. What was your first date like?
Elise: We had our first convo on a Monday, and he asked me out the next day. I didn’t have any plans, but I still said no. I was just playing hard to get (laughs). But we were talking every day, and he told me he wanted to take me somewhere I’ve never been. And I’m like, you’re in my city! But he sends me three options, and sure enough, two of the places I hadn’t gone to. So, our first date was October 1, 2021, and somebody was 45 minutes late.
Now Jason, why were you 45 minutes late?
Elise: It was me – in my own city. I just got turned around, and the traffic was horrible. I kept calling him and giving him permission to leave. Full transparency: I probably wouldn’t have waited if the shoe was on the other foot. But this was my first sign of what I now know and love the most about him. It’s his patience. When I got there, I was frazzled and everything, but he was just super calm. It ended up being a great first date.
Jason: I remember just waiting and being concerned for her well-being. Because I know how traffic can be, especially when someone is rushing. I was just scrolling through my phone and looking through the menu. It was cool.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Courtesy
That’s beautiful. Now let’s talk about the “what are we” convo? Did you have one of those and if so, who initiated it and how was it?
Elise: I initiated it. Jason was dating me – and still does. But by this time, we had been on a number of dates. We were on our way to a winery, and we had a bit of a drive. So I decided to state my intention. We were just a few weeks in, but we were spending a lot of time together and we are people of a particular age. So I told him, I know Atlanta can be a Black man’s playground. There’s so many beautiful professional women here. But I’m dating with intention. I don’t want to kick it or hang with a good guy even though he’s not my person. I was done with all of that. So I’m “laying down the law” in my eyes, and he didn’t flinch. He let me finish and basically let me know we were on the same page. He was not trying to sow his royal oats.
Jason: Yeah, I was not trying to be Prince Akeem. But also, it was more so about setting a tone and goal for myself. My mama always told me to set my goals. And having a family was always one of mine. I think the biggest thing of it all, was I felt blessed – in terms of moving for work and meeting Elise, now being married. There’s victories being placed in my life.
I love that you both shared that because sometimes I get feedback on these stories and it seems like sometimes we’re afraid to really voice what we desire, no matter what that looks like.
Elise: Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
Jason: I think her sharing those values resonated with me, and hearing her “lay down the law” was fine because I was there, too. I would say to millennial women, don’t be afraid to tell a mate what you want. You never know what that would lead to. Time is a precious commodity. Elise saying that early on showed me that she values both of our time. It showed her heart, character, and integrity, and I was drawn to that and the mature conversation. In the social media world, we don’t have those pointed conversations face-to-face. I would challenge readers to have those conversations in person, and you would get more from that convo than any post or reel. Because you see body language reactions and have deeper communication.
Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
You both have mentioned time, family, and integrity. I’m curious what other core values do you both share?
Elise: Early on, our faith. Not just do you believe in God. It had to be deeper in that. I needed someone who would lead me, our home, and our family. I didn’t want to be in a push-and-pull relationship about prayer, church, or have conversations about being better people. Also, we discussed finances. That doesn’t just mean going to work. We chatted about ownership and what it looks like for us. How do we support each other individually and together? I know I like having my hands in a few different pots, and I needed someone who was supportive of that and likewise.
Jason: My background is that I was raised in the church. My father is a deacon and my mom is a deaconess. They've been married for 55 years. Faith was very important to me and it was crucial that my wife have that relationship as well.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Can we talk about challenges? Big or small, what are some things you had to grow through together?
Elise: I have never lived with anyone – not a roommate, a sister, friend, boyfriend or anything. Now, I’m in my 40s and I'm living with someone. When you’ve been by yourself for so long that was a challenge for both of us. We weren’t pulling each other's hair out but I’m a bit extreme. Things are color-coded in my closet. For me, working in news is chaotic so I want my home to be peaceful and organized.
Jason: I’m a man, and she’s a woman. That dynamic alone adds a flair to it. She wants things a certain way. She’s a Capricorn. But just in terms of how she wants to keep a home was a big adjustment for me. It took time.
On a smaller level, what are some of the things you disagree about day-to-day?
Elise: Cleanliness and systems. Like, he recycles and I do not. But sometimes I just have to decide if it really needs to be a thing or if I can just take care of it.
Jason: This is where my organization takes over (laughs).
What are your love languages? Do you know?
Elise: Jason’s is an act of service which works because I love cooking for him. It doesn’t feel like a chore to me. I love when I’m out, picking up his favorite juice. The other day I saw he needed t-shirts while folding clothes. So I just like doing small things for him that he doesn’t expect. He’s very much that guy that will ask to help so it doesn’t bother me.
Jason: I’d say Elise is all of them, but physical touch would probably be the biggest one. I had to get used to that. She’s taught me it in a number of ways. I remember we actually talked about love languages, and I sent her this song called “More Than Words” by Extreme. That explained to her how I felt.
Finally, can we end with the proposal? Tell us everything!
Jason: It was at a restaurant. And again, I was trying to find somewhere she hadn’t been. Also, I didn’t want to do it on our anniversary because that would have been too obvious. I contacted one of the restaurant’s staff and decided to change up the dessert menu. Each item was something special to us.
Elise: We go on so many date nights, so I just thought it was a regular night. We had finished eating, and I had to go to the bathroom. They had a nice mirror, girl. So I’m in there taking videos and stuff.
Jason: While she’s in the restroom, I’m getting everything in place with the waitress.
Elise: So as I’m reading the menu, I realize it’s telling our story and he eventually proposed. It was so special; I actually had the menu framed! It was so beautiful and thoughtful.
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Feature image by FotosbyFola
Coach Sydney Carter On Her Game-Day Style, Handling Negativity, And The Future Of Women's Basketball
Whether she’s calling the plays or serving the looks (or both), Coach Sydney Carter shows us she’s got game on and off the court. Holding the esteemed title of director of player development for the women’s basketball team at the University of Texas, Sydney is right where she knew she would be. Basketball has always been a part of her life, and she has welcomed much success.
While playing for Texas A&M University, Sydney won a NCAA title during her junior year in 2011. The next year, she was drafted into the WNBA and played in the league for four years and internationally for seven years.
Many people would see Sydney’s career as a professional women’s basketball player as a dream job, and while that may be the case, her true calling has always been coaching. The Dallas native opens up about her coaching aspirations in an exclusive interview with xoNecole.
“So when I was a little girl, I always told my mom that I wanted to be a teacher. And so when you think about it, coaches are also teachers because we're teaching them so many things. And so I've always been on track with that,” she says.
“I've always wanted to help younger people, unknowingly, when I was a kid, and then when I got to college, and I realized, like, I'm a talker. I was a leader on the team. I led by example, and I led verbally. So I knew that that was something that I was going to do, just because basketball has always been like a true, true passion for me.”
Courtesy
Another passion of hers is fashion. Over the last few years, Sydney’s game-day fits have become a trending topic, with many people praising her classy style. From her powder blue tweed suit with over-the-knee Gucci boots to her salmon pink suit with feathers on the sleeves, the three-time Latvian/Estonian champion is solidifying herself as a style maven. She sees fashion as a form of self-expression and hopes to expand on her fashion efforts by one day creating a suit line for women.
“Yeah, that is my goal. I want to have my own fashion line one day. I want to have my own suit line that's affordable for a lot of coaches that are inspired by my looks that maybe can't afford some of the things that I wear. I want a very affordable business wear line,” she says.
“I want to have my own line that kind of touches everything casual, work out. There's so many things that I want to do because clothing and looking my best is obviously a passion of mine as well. So yeah, I believe I'm gonna have it because I tell myself I'm gonna have it.”
“Yeah, that is my goal. I want to have my own fashion line one day. I want to have my own suit line that's affordable for a lot of coaches that are inspired by my looks that maybe can't afford some of the things that I wear. I want a very affordable business wear line.”
While the coach’s style has gained its own following, she has also faced criticism for her fits due to her curves, something that many Black women have unfortunately been subjected to. However, Sydney lets the negativity roll off her back because, “at the end of the day, this is how I look.”
She credits her mom for instilling confidence in her as a child, and whenever she’s faced with adversity, she reminds herself that she can’t please everyone. But that doesn’t mean it’s always easy. Sydney shares her best advice to others who may be struggling with their confidence.
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“I think the first thing is positive self-talk. Where do we get in life when we are speaking negatively about something? What can we ever achieve or solve with negative talk? So I think in the morning or whenever it is, if you're ever feeling like you're not feeling your best, I think you have to look at yourself in the mirror and just tell yourself these things, or maybe you don't want to look in the mirror. Everybody has their own way,” she explains.
“But for me, I look in the mirror, and I tell myself, ‘I'm beautiful,’ ‘I'm amazing.’ ‘I am confident.’ I am all these things. And I think after a while when you tell yourself that so many times, then it becomes something that you begin to believe. And so I think positive self-talk is the number one thing that you can do to kind of ensure yourself that this is really who I am. Because I say this is who I am.”
As a leader in women’s basketball, Sydney’s future is bright, and she is equally excited about the future of women in sports. Over the last few years, we all have witnessed an uptick in interest in women’s college basketball, which has translated over into the WNBA after many of the college athletes were drafted into the league. While she names Angel Reese as her favorite rookie to watch, her favorite teams include the Las Vegas Aces and New York Liberty, and she is looking forward to what else is in store for women’s basketball.
“But for me, I look in the mirror, and I tell myself, ‘I'm beautiful,’ ‘I'm amazing.’ ‘I am confident.’ I am all these things. And I think after a while when you tell yourself that so many times, then it becomes something that you begin to believe. And so I think positive self-talk is the number one thing that you can do to kind of ensure yourself that this is really who I am. Because I say this is who I am.”
“My hope is one that we continue to expand. I hope that people continue to watch college basketball, which I think will happen. But you know, those rookies that are in the WNBA now were the ones that really were like the headlines. They were seniors last year. So there was so many eyes on women's basketball in college, and now those eyes have gone to the WNBA, so I hope that we can continue to have the support of women's basketball all around and in women's sports in general, continue to have expansion,” she says.
“And obviously, equal pay is something that would be lovely for us all. That's been a constant uphill battle. I want to continue to see the good narrative pushed about women's basketball. You know how we have such amazing athletes that are playing now. We have people that understand their dual threats, where they're not just athletes. They're so much more off the court. They can rep a brand and help the brand grow. They also have their own brands. They're paving their own way. They're young business owners, like there's so many good stories that you can talk about. So I hope that that narrative continues to get pushed and pushed, even more so than it already is.”
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