
Victoria Monét Shares How She Used Song "On My Mama" As A Word Of Affirmation After Bout With Postpartum

Singer and songwriter Victoria Monét is providing insight into the process behind her latest single, "On My Mama," and how her experience with motherhood served as inspiration.
Monét, who started as a songwriter, caught her big break within the entertainment industry over a decade ago when she earned her first writing credit on Diddy-Dirty Money's 2010 track "I Hate That You Love Me."
Over the years, Monét's success as a songwriter and vocalist soared to new heights as she collaborated with other artists such as Brandy, Fifth Harmony, Jordin Sparks, T.I., B.o.B., Ariana Grande, Jhene Aiko, and countless others. In 2019, Monét ultimately earned her first Grammy nomination for contributing to Ariana Grande's hit song "7 Rings."
Since then, Monét continues to make a name for herself in the industry, this time by focusing on her solo endeavors, including her upcoming album Jaguar 2. The 34-year-old dropped her latest single, "On My Mama," a sample of Chalie Boy's "I Look Good," in June and has been generating buzz due to its empowering lyrics.
During an interview on The Ebro Show, Monét revealed that the lighthearted tune began as a positive affirmation after experiencing various challenges following the birth of her daughter Hazel Gaines on February 2021.
Victoria On The Inspiration Behind "On My Mama"
In the discussion, Monét explained that the concept of "On My Mama" came in 2021 during a low period in her life as she tried adjusting to motherhood.
Monét disclosed that after welcoming Hazel with her longtime partner, John Gaines, she started experiencing postpartum depression in the middle of the global pandemic. This added to Monét's stress because she often worried about her daughter's safety.
"This record actually happened in 2021, probably… Maybe eight or nine weeks after I gave birth, right? So I'm in the mental space of, I was really having a hard time. I had postpartum depression," she said. "I was still breastfeeding, just adjusting to the life, but also in the midst of COVID. So we're in a pandemic, everything's a little bit risky, scary to even be in the studio with a child."
Further into the interview, Monét shared that when creating "On My Mama," --which includes lyrics about looking good, feeling good, and deserving the best life possible-- she had to force herself to believe the words she was writing because she was still in a state of disbelief.
"'On My Mama' was the first record I did that I actually liked. But it came while I was in a place of disbelief in what I was actually saying. So it's almost like I had to speak it into existence. And I do look good, I do feel good, and I am deserving," she stated.
When Monét came to the realization, she acknowledged how powerful the track could be for other people.
"And so, I think of the record as an anthem for affirmations, positive self-talk, manifestations, living in abundance, speaking things into existence, all of that is kind of in the song, but in a really cool hood way. And the sample just feels so good. It feels so good, we were debating on whether to use it because you know it's expensive," she said.
Victoria On Balancing Motherhood And Her Career
As the topic shifted to balancing motherhood and her career, Monét revealed that it can be challenging, but because she has a supportive tribe that consists of family, friends, and a business team, she is able to juggle it all.
"It's really hard, honestly, and I know you can attest to that, just prioritizing certain things. Time is just the currency that you can't get back, so it's like, man, just, it really takes a team, and people who really support and believe in you and understand why you have to be at the studio until 2:00 A.M. whenever you get home," she stated.
"And also a business team that understands why you have to be home and present. Doing flashcards and spending quality time with family. So, it really takes a community, I think about the term tribe a lot, just having people around you that really support that, no negativity, just all support and hands on deck, it really takes a village for even just one child."
Monét's single "On My Mama" is out now, and her album Jaguar II is scheduled to be released on August 25.
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On her debut album,CTRL,SZA crooned about her desire to be a “Normal Girl.” Now, nearly eight years since its release, her Not Beauty line represents her commitment to existing outside of traditional beauty norms.
The singer whose real name is Solána Imani Rowe first teased the idea of a lip gloss line during Super Bowl LIX in February, noting that the release would be happening “very shortly.” Not Beauty debuted simultaneously with the Grand National Tour, which she co-headlines with Kendrick Lamar, in Minneapolis on April 19.
Each Not Beauty pop-up would offer fans the opportunity to purchase the glosses, learn more about the brand, and have the opportunity to meet the superstar in the flesh regardless of their ticket status.
During the Los Angeles tour stop, which spanned three dates on May 21, May 23, with the finale on May 24, xoNecole had the opportunity to test out the glosses included in this soft launch, as SZA revealed in a statement that "this is just the start of other lip products, including plans to launch stains, liners, and creams all inspired by SZA's “infamous layered lip combinations.”
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So, what is included in the first Not Beauty launch?
The current Not Beauty products available are lip glosses that come in three shades: In the Flesh, Strawberry Jelly, and Quartz.
During my visit to the first LA Not Beauty pop-up activation, I not only had the chance to purchase all three glosses but also took a peek inside the blow-up log tent. Inside, fans got to experience SZA’s love for nature and her fascination with bugs, which are prominently featured in her performances for this tour. At one point, she even had human preying mantis prancing across the stage y'all.
There were blow-up photos of the beauty that is SZA for fans (myself included) to take photos, but in wooden-like tree trunks were a deeper dive into some of the ingredients featured in her products and their benefits.
For example, the glosses feature Hi-Shine Lip Jelly and Shea Butter as key ingredients and some of the listed benefits included are:
- Shea Butter - “A powerhouse ingredient, offering both functional and nourishing benefits.”
- Hi-Shine Lip Jelly (featured in the In the Flesh shade) - “Formula glides on with perfect adhesion to the lips without stickiness).
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What are in the products?
Featured in an orange package, with images of a bug and flower on the side, the back of the box reads: “It’s NOT BEAUTY, it just works. Developed by Solána “SZA” Rowe.
As someone who never leaves home without a good lip gloss, I loved how compact the wood panel packaging is. Perfect to slip into my purse, or in the case of the show at SoFi Stadium, into my pocket when I’m not carrying a bag.
Because I’m a sucker for a good black and brown lip liner and clear gloss combo, I decided to wear the Quartz flavor on night one of the Grand National Tour LA stop, and it did not disappoint. I’ll admit, it’s light weight feel made me nervous because it felt like there was nothing on my lips. However, when I checked my lips in my compact mirror several times throughout the night, I was shocked to find that my gloss was still intact. I only reapplied once out of the habit of looking cute and applying my gloss, but not necessity.
Here are some of the ingredients featured, but not limited to, in the Quartz flavor.
- Polyisoubutene
- Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea)Butter
- Ricinus Communis (Castor) Seed Oil
- Mentha Piperita (Peppermint) Oil
- Tocopherol
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Lip prep
I’m a simple girl who loves to stay true to her roots. So ahead of the show, I stopped by a local Inglewood Beauty Supply store and grabbed a Black and Brown shade lip pencil for just under $2 a piece.
Shading the outline of my lips with the black pencil first, I used the brown to lightly fill the inside of my lips before applying my Quartz Not Beauty shade gloss.
How to apply
There’s truly no right or wrong way to apply lip gloss (in my opinion), with this being a brush applicator sort of product, I simply untwisted the top and swiped the gloss around my top and bottom lip generously.
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Results
Again, my Not Beauty Quartz product stayed on my lips from the start of the show, which began with a fire DJ set from LA’s very own, Mustard, to the conclusion when Kendrick and SZA reunited on stage to send us home to their duet, “luther,” featured on the rapper's GNX album.
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10 Ways To Make Sure Your Vagina Enjoys Its Time In The Ocean & Pool
Although the summer season technically doesn’t begin until late June (June 20, to be exact), you and I both know that as soon as Memorial Day Weekend comes and goes, most of us consider it to be summertime. Well, as you’re in the process of making your summer plans (because you are going to go on some sort of vacation, even if it’s just for a long weekend…right?), if getting into some sort of water (outside of the bathtub) is included in them, I thought it would be a good idea to talk about some ways to take care of your vagina (and vulva).
Because, as I’ve shared in a different article (here), when the weather is warmer, you are far more susceptible to experiencing yeast infections (not just in your vagina, either — check out “What To Do For Yeast Infections (On Other Parts Of Your Body)”). Not only that, but if you don’t do certain things that are listed here, you could end up irritating your genital region in other ways too.
So, as you’re out picking up a new swimsuit, here are 10 hacks that can have your vagina (and vulva) enjoying the ocean and pool water as much as you plan to.
1. Be Mindful of How Your Swimsuit Bottoms Fit
Listen, y’all ain’t gonna ever convince me that, out of all of the panty cuts that are out here (and there are several), when it comes to vaginal health, thongs aren’t the most problematic. However, I do agree with health experts who say that if you must wear them, so long as they are made from a breathable fabric, you should, for the most part, be pretty straight.
Keeping that in mind, since a lot of swimsuits are made from materials that tend to trap in moisture, you might want to avoid the ones that have a “thong cut” to them — especially since something else that thongs have a tendency to do is make it easier for bacteria to shift from front to back (and vice versa), if you know what I mean.
2. Apply a Coat of Aquaphor on Your Vulva
If vaginal dryness or irritation while in your swimsuit is something that you’re concerned about, you might want to try applying a thin coat of Aquaphor to your vulva (the outer part of your vagina). Not only can it help to keep you nice and moisturized down below, it can even help to bring relief to minor itching (that isn’t associated with a yeast infection).
3. Don’t Hang Out in Damp Clothing
Something that we all have in our genital region is yeast; a yeast infection is what happens when “bad bacteria” overtake the good. And y’all, if there are two things that are basically like Six Flags to yeast, it’s sugar and wet/damp areas. That’s why it’s a really good idea not to linger in damp clothing for hours at a time, whether it’s due to water or sweat.
4. Immediately Change Your Tampon After Swimming
Periods don’t take summer vacations. Still, that shouldn’t prevent you from having a good time. That said, if you want to go swimming, you’re on your cycle and you happen to be a tampon wearer, please put forth the concerted effort to change your tampon right after getting out of the pool or ocean. In a little while, I’m going to get into how the waters that we swim in are usually not as clean as we would like, and so you want to make sure that the bacteria that is in them doesn’t stay up in your vaginal canal, via your tampon, for a long period of time.
Oh, and if you are a menstrual cup gal, those are perfectly fine to use. Just make sure to empty the cup before getting in the water and right after you get out, for the sake of your self-confidence (surrounding leaks) more than anything else.
5. Keep Some Feminine Wipes on Hand
Whether it’s due to your cycle, you want to remove some extra sweat or sand, or you simply want to feel fresher throughout the day, it can never hurt to keep some feminine wipes close by. Most of them are awesome because they are hypoallergenic, they help to maintain the pH balance of your vagina and they contain ingredients that can help to soothe and protect your vulvar skin.
One brand that makes a variety of different ones, including wipes that contain prebiotics, wipes that are great for sensitive skin, and wipes that have cucumber and aloe in them, is Honey Pot. You can find the wipes that you personally need here.
6. Always Wash Your Swimsuit After Wearing It
When you first get a swimsuit, it’s a good idea to wash it. One reason is because you need to remove any chemicals that could irritate your vulva/vagina/skin, in general. Another reason is because, well, while it would be awesome if stores didn’t sell suits that have been tried on (without panties) before, they can’t always guarantee that will happen. Then, before swimming, rinse your swimsuit out with fresh water, just to get any extra residue out.
Then, when you get out of the water, rinse with fresh water again to remove bacteria, sand, and whatever else may be hanging out in your suit. And finally, make it a point and practice to not wear your suit again until after washing it — I mean, basically for the same reason why you shouldn’t wear yesterday’s panties today.
7. Heads Up: Salt Water Can Dry Your Vagina/Vulva Out
Whether water is chlorinated or it’s made up of salt water, one thing that it has the ability to do is throw off your vagina’s pH balance. And when it comes to salt water (which is what ocean water is), specifically, if you stay in it for two long, it can also start to dry your vagina and vulva out. This is why it’s wise to rinse yourself in fresh water before getting into the ocean and rinse off once you get out. This is also where the Aquaphor hack that I mentioned earlier comes in rather handy too.
8. Sex in Public Pools and Hot Tubs Is Kinda Gross Because…
If you’re feeling a lil’ frisky and you’re thinking about having sex in a pool or hot tub — listen, I’m all for spontaneity. Just make sure that you literally know what you’re getting yourself into because public pools and hot tubs tend to be straight-up breeding grounds for all sorts of bacteria. I mean, pools? You already know that at least one kid has probably peed in it — and hot tubs? I’ll put it to you this way — check out the article, “Just how gross are hot tubs? A microbiologist explains,” when you get a chance. It might convince you to stick to your shower or tub when it comes to copulating. Just sayin’.
9. If You’re Gonna Have Sex in Water, Use Silicone Lubricant
No matter what kind of water you decide to get busy in, make sure to keep some lubricant on tap. Since you’re going to be in water, that can wash away your natural arousal fluid/natural lubricant, which could make sex semi-uncomfortable, if you’re not careful. For this, silicone-based lubricant is best; it’s got great “slip,” plus, it’s waterproof.
10. Always Remember That Condoms in the Water Are…Just That
One more thing — unless you are in a long-term exclusive or monogamous relationship (and you’re using another form of birth control), be careful about relying on condoms when it comes to “engaging” in the water. Although rubbers may stay on for a couple of minutes, they aren’t exactly designed to be in water for a long period of time and could weaken or fall off entirely. And no matter how appeasing water sex may sound, you might be in for an — eh hem — different kind of ride if your condom shows out on you.
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There you have it — 10 ways to take care of “her” while you’re hanging out by water this summer season. If you apply all of these tips, I have no doubt that she will have a blast from the moment you get into the water until you step out. Enjoy!
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