Victoria Monet Is "Coastin" On Our Playlists: Here's 7 Things You Need To Know
With the world seeming more and more overwhelming, how incredible is it to know that we have music? Music as a means of storytelling has been the way of life for centuries. Lyrics and melodies have a way of elevating the mood, maintaining calm, and keeping us going. And what keeps "Coastin" artist, Victoria Monet, going? Her art imitating life.
She may have been the music industry's best-kept secret but her light is shining so bright that we have no choice but to give her her flowers. Keep scrolling for fun facts about mommy-artist-songwriter-producer, Victoria Monet.
1.Victoria Monet is a Taurus.
Known to be sensual, steadfast, and loyal, Taurean women are true queens. No one has a strong sense of self like the Taurus. Victoria Monet displays her confidence in the words she writes. Her lyrics are candid conversations with the world. Over the years, the entertainer has developed a fearlessness to say what she actually means, regardless of the politics that are supposed to be considered.
2.She grew up in Sacramento.
While she was born in Georgia, Victoria was raised in Sacramento, CA.
Monet told Miss Bish:
"With Sac being so diverse, I got a taste of a lot of different genres. My mom also had a super wide variety of music taste. She would play everything from Sade to Uncle Luke while we cleaned the house, lol. I feel that today, I am a melting pot of a few different feels but my heart is always in the '90s mixed with an indie feel. Sac has a super cool indie, artsy vibe downtown where I used to practice dance with Boogie Monstarz, and I think that's where I met my match and felt right at home."
3.The hitmaker is a new mommy.
Victoria Monet surprised her fans in December 2020 with the most adorable pregnancy announcement. Baby Hazel Monet Gaines was born on February 2, 2021, to Victoria and her boyfriend John Gaines. From the start, she cherished being gifted the title above queen sharing on social media:
"Two hearts beat inside of me now...That's more love. Two brains and two souls...that's so much power. Really been feelin like the ultra super Victoria cause my body is doing such miraculous work. This is absolutely the best thing that has ever happened to me and I can't wait to meet my tiny soul mate earth side!!! I hold my head higher with the confidence you already gift. You are the best of me and I promise to protect you and be the best version of myself for you all ways, always."
4.Victoria Monet identifies as bisexual.
The singer came out on Twitter at the end of 2018 after being tired of hiding her queerness. It was more of a rebellious moment due to some complicated matters of the heart. Victoria Monet told Gay Times:
"I literally fell in love with a girl and I had a boyfriend at the time, and then we broke up. But this woman ended up getting pregnant because she had a boyfriend in a polyamorous relationship. There were a lot of things that I was personally going through that I didn't speak about. But at the time, my boyfriend was still claiming that he was still my boyfriend after we'd broken up, and I decided I was really upset about it, and going through a lot emotionally, so I decided to tweet it."
For Monet, she was simply venting. It wasn't until someone replied, "Did you just come out?" that she realized it was so much more. Her response: "I think so." That tweet made her come into her own and allowed her to authentically live in her truth.
5.You can also call her one of the most successful songwriters of our time.
Monet's first big songwriting credit was on Diddy and Dirty Money's "I Hate That You Love Me" back in 2010. Fun fact: she reached out to legendary hitmaker Rodney "Darkchild" Jerkins on MySpace to shoot her shot. That leap of faith landed her in Darkchild's group, Purple Reign, who was signed to Motown Records. You may be thinking, "Purple Reign? I've never heard of that group!" Well, you're correct because their work was never released. Luckily, Monet's killer writing skills became well-known and her magic pen hasn't stopped ever since.
Essencehighlighted Victoria Monet during Black Music Month and when asked about how being a Black woman uniquely qualified her for her position, she told them:
"It gives me the opportunity to overturn the narrative of Black women being the underdog. Being Black shouldn't be considered unique in music. We exist—and always have—as the foundation of it all as a matter of fact. Our faces just may not be as forward facing as our talent. I will do my part to make sure we are no longer overlooked and underappreciated."
It's safe to say this Sac queen has earned her stripes. Many of the bops we love most were written by Victoria Monet. Some notable songs where Monet has writing credits are Ariana Grande's "7 Rings", "34+35", "Do It" by Chloe x Halle and "On the Way" by Twenty88.
6.Victoria Monet and Ariana Grande are BFFs.
They do more than create music together; they do life together. Since Ariana's Nickelodeon days, she and Victoria have been holding each other down. The new kids say '4 Lifers' when referring to lifetime friendships and that's what we see when we look at A & V. "We've just been friends for so long. It's so easy and it just feels really fun, but also therapeutic, Victoria told NME:
"It's not like when you go to a writing session and you have to ask the writer or the artist: 'What's going on with your life?' We talk all the time, and we both already know what's going on in each other's lives. So whenever we're in the studio, we get straight to the music part."
"I imagine us [in the future] being really old ladies talking about how he used to do it. 'Remember when we did 'Thank U, Next'? Remember when we toured here?' You know, just having discussions over tea. This'll be a forever thing."
7.She has released five EPs.
EPs also known as extended plays are mini-albums with less than seven songs. Victoria Monet's discography:
- Nightmares & Lullabies: Act 1
- Nightmares & Lullabies: Act 2
- Life After Love, Pt. 1
- Life After Love, Pt. 2
- JAGUAR
To keep up with Victoria Monet, follow her on Instagram, Spotify and Apple Music.
To keep up with Victoria Monet, follow her on Instagram, Spotify and Apple Music.
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Featured image via Giphy
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Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images