Andrea Lewis And Jamal Dedeaux Of Hulu's 'Three Ways' Open Up About Safe Sex On Set
In the new Hulu sex comedy Three Ways, a prudish young woman named Stacey decides to open herself up more sexually by having a threesome with her new partner Justin and another woman. Written and directed by first-time filmmaker Jamal Dedeaux, the provocative and sexy comedy comes during a time when conversations around open relationships, polyamory, and sexual liberation are becoming more common amongst younger Black people.
Speaking with xoNecole, Dedeaux says that the film was inspired by his love for such classic films like Boomerang but also by his own life more than the desire to get in on growing conversations. “I had a threesome, and I told [the woman that inspired Stacey]: ‘Hey, you should write a short film about it kinda like from your point of view.’ And then I just thought, you know what, I'll do it.”
For actress Andrea Lewis, who plays Stacey, the film was an opportunity to gain perspective on the different types of relationship styles. “I love hearing the discussions around monogamy or polyamory, just hearing the different opinions,” she says. “I've always been just a really open-minded person in terms of hearing others' experiences.”
Three Ways also brought on a new challenge for Lewis, the Degrassi: The Next Generation actress who has been acting for over two decades now. “It was definitely my first time experiencing something so spicy,” she says, dealing with the raunchy subject matter. She says that she and other actresses she works with discuss all the time how to approach sex scenes in their work. “It's always a variety of opinions in terms of some people are comfortable [with sex scenes], some people are not. Some people hope they never get something like this because it takes a lot of vulnerability.”
Working on the set of Three Ways, Lewis says she felt completely safe doing intimate scenes. “We had an intimacy coordinator, Tatiana, and she said it best: you can change your mind the whole time. There is nothing here that's like, you have to do it. You can say, I don't wanna do this, or I thought I would, and now that we're in the midst of it, it's making me uncomfortable.”
For his part, Dedeaux was deliberate about making the actresses feel as comfortable as possible to do their love scenes. “One thing I did was made sure we surrounded the set with women,” he says. “Every shot in the sex scene was storyboarded, or was it shot listed.”
“Ultimately, it requires choreography. It requires people to be very comfortable with each other, and it's definitely absolutely not as sexy as people [think],” Lewis says.
Three Ways arrives nearly a decade after Lewis released her cult classic web series Black Actress, where she plays a young Black woman frustrated with the film and television industry. With this latest film and a string of other personal projects, including a forthcoming docu-series called The Black Beauty Effect, Lewis has experienced what she describes as the dramatic shift that has taken place in Hollywood in the past several years.
“Black women in general in media have been very aggressive about wanting to see ourselves,” she says. “Now we’re getting to this place where not only are we getting a lot of diversity with representation, the focus is on how authentic we actually feel and look, it's like people really wanna see you looking like a Black woman.”
Three Ways is streaming on Hulu.
Featured image by J. Countess/Getty Images
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Another season of Love Is Blind has come to a close, and almost two months later we’re still unpacking the drama that is Clay and AD. The finale, reunion, and post-interviews with Clay and AD after season six of Love Is Blind left millions of people wondering - why couldn’t AD see the signs? Clay told her he had a fear of marriage, his parents experienced infidelity, and he seemed to have many doubts about saying, "I do."
After changing his mind at the altar and hearing AD question why she feels like she’s never enough, I was finished watching. I didn’t need to hear anything else because, at that moment, I realized this wasn’t about Clay; this was about AD feeling inadequate before she ever met Clay.
If I’m honest, I don’t watch much dating television. TikTok keeps me updated with the clips that I need to see in order to be kept in the loop, but it’s difficult for me to watch an entire season of dating TV because seeing Black women settle for less and questioning their beauty is a trigger for me. In many ways, there were points in my life where I was AD, settling and ignoring red flags because I wanted to be loved.
Now, on the other side, it doesn’t feel good to see Black women lower their standards on national television. There have been many hot takes on this couple and who was in the wrong. Did Clay play in AD’s face or did she not listen to the truth of what he told her from day one? Was his reason for joining the show to promote his business and not to find the one?
We’ll never know the truth, but what we can do is learn tactics to better our self-worth. Founder and CEO of The Self Love Organization Denise Francis shared her expertise with xoNecole on what tangible steps to take to improve feelings of worthiness. “Self-love blooms in a garden where self-worth is planted, nourished, and whole. However, when your self-worth is challenged, displaced, or broken, it could be difficult to rebuild," Denise explains.
How To Rebuild Self-Worth
During her self-love coaching sessions, Denise likes to walk her clients through the cornerstones of rebuilding self-worth: grace and self-compassion. To her, self-worth is never lost, it's only displaced, so practicing self-compassion and giving yourself grace is a must. "We tend to place our self-worth in entities and people of ourselves such as relationship status, physical appearance, material possessions, social media followings, what others think of us, and more. Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth.
"Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth."
"When we place our value into people or things, we tend to feel that we are not enough, worth it, special, or important when relationship status, job titles, friendships, and physical appearances are lost or changed. We then tend to feel lost within ourselves because we’ve placed our value outside of ourselves. Using grace and compassion, you can rebuild your self-worth by returning home to who you are at your core," she concludes.
How To Return Home To Yourself
Denise advises taking a step back and using self-reflection through journaling by answering the following journaling prompts:
First, ask yourself, "What do you tend to attach your self-worth to and why?"
Is it your relationships, your job title, your finances, your appearance, etc.? Why do you think you place so much emphasis on external status? How does it make you feel when you are defining yourself through these entities and/or people outside of yourself?
Then, ask yourself, "Without these things, who am I?"
Once you have your answers, show yourself kindness, remove the shame, and, as Denise says, "Redefine yourself by detaching your value from the things and people you have no control over and no longer serve you. Challenge yourself to define yourself outside of titles and societal values."
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person. You begin to find value in the way you love instead of your relationship status, your compassion instead of your popularity, your drive instead of your income/job title, and your heart instead of your physical appearance," she adds.
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person."
"Be intentional with healing your self-worth by leaning into the people and things that nourish your core values. Surround yourself with the people who love and cherish you, they will always remind you just how valuable you truly are."
It all goes back to self-compassion and grace. As Denise explains, leading with those two things as you heal and rebuild your self-worth allows you to reduce negative self-talk that might come up for you. "This weakens thoughts like, 'I am not enough... why am I never enough?'" she shares, "And 'I don't deserve this while strengthening thoughts like 'I deserve better,' 'I am enough,' and 'I am worth it.'"
Denise continues, "Once you return home and remember the irreplaceable person you are, you can rebuild your self-worth by placing it back where it belongs. It belongs to you."
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Featured image by LaylaBird/Getty Images
