How To Find Your Personal Style: 12 Tips For Defining Your Aesthetic
Finding your personal style seems like an easy feat, but start the journey and you’ll soon find it overwhelming with minimal initial reward. Since style is so intricately tied to the type of person you are, it evolves and changes as you do. The uncomfortable truth is, it can take years to cultivate and perfect your personal style. But that shouldn’t stop you from honing in on what you like and replicating that in your wardrobe.
It can seem like an arduous task, especially in a trend-crazed industry like fashion, but I promise it’s not. To help start your journey, I asked four wickedly talented stylists for advice and tips on finding your personal style.
Rasheena
"My journey to my personal style began in my teenage years as an act of rebellion. I experimented with opposing colors and patterns in this stage. However, my love deepened in my college years when I was able to wear clothes other than the 'required uniform.' I fell in love with aesthetics at this stage; the grunge, preppy, urban, and chic aesthetics literally stole my heart. As I developed in life, I found that my style constantly changed based on my personality and perception of life.
"If I had to describe my style right now, I would call it freedom. I freely explore all style aesthetics that excite me while staying true to my core aesthetics, or vibe as I call it; grunge, urban, chic and preppy. My style is my safe space to explore myself as a person and online shopping is my favorite destination for exploration."
Her Top Tips for Finding Your Style:
- Identify three character traits you'd like to embody.
- Find three stores that complement your body type and style desires.
- Try on everything that makes you uncomfortable! (It may surprise you!)
Derria
"I would like to attribute finding my personal style to my grandma. I grew up spending summers with her and we would always go to the mall and shop until we were absolutely tired. She also is one of the most stylish people I know and she owns it. She always gets tons of compliments when she is out and about and I've always admired that about her. I basically followed in her footsteps when it comes to my personal style.
"Throughout my childhood and adulthood, my style changed so much. I went from wearing matching plastic jewelry and Jordans to vintage jewelry and graphic tees with my favorite flats; all the way up until now my style is comfy chic. I will most definitely be wearing sneakers but I wear what is comfortable to me. Maybe that's a skirt or a jumpsuit. Then I add my own twist or edge to it. I love my style!"
Her Top Tips for Finding Your Style:
- Wear what you want! Don't worry about what other people think. Not your friends, family, or strangers. Wear what you feel comfortable in!
- Be open to trying new trends and/or starting your own! You never know who will be inspired by your style.
- Own it. People can definitely tell when you are uncomfortable with what you're wearing. So when you drape those clothes on your skin, make sure you OWN IT.
Malak
"I've always had a love for fashion but my true journey started when I was in college. It was a time that I became more expressive in my overall appearance and how I was feeling. I just felt so liberated! I would describe my style as being a girly tomboy. I love to wear heels and dress up but I also love a good t-shirt and sneakers. After my college experience came to an end, I began to take more risks with my style. I love to play around in color, stand out, but also be effortless and relaxed when needed.
"It's funny as I am talking about it, it truly makes sense that my personal style has continued to elevate and grow as I am growing into the woman that I am called to be. My style is only an expression of who I am today: I'm bold, unique, authentic, a risk-taker, and confident. My style will only continue to evolve as I evolve in this life. I'm fully embracing change and I am not afraid to step outside of the box."
Her Top Tips for Finding Your Style:
- Be authentic, be you! God makes us one of one and you should fully embrace that there is nobody like you. Your style should reflect you and only you.
- Designer is NOT style. Fashion is trendy and style is timeless. Style is your aesthetic choices: how you pull your overall look together down to the hair and outfit of choice.
- Be a risk-taker in the way that you think about your style. I truly believe that my best work with my clients has been taking risks instead of playing it safe. When you take risks with something as simple as your outfit, you naturally become more confident.
Tiffany
"I started off wearing my sisters' hand-me-downs but knew I wanted to dress in a way that expressed specifically who I am and what I knew looked right on me. So, I began to think about my body type and the clothing pieces that complemented my frame and found stores that sold pieces that worked for me. I started experimenting and eventually found what stuck. and what best mirrored my personality! Eventually, I started studying other body types and what pieces worked for them and began my personal styling journey, helping women dress for their body types and best express themselves."
Her Top Tips for Finding Your Style:
- Hire a stylist for an expert analysis of what style best reflects your style goals.
- Ask yourself questions about how you want to present to the world, and what clothing items best make that statement.
- Explore what clothing pieces make you feel most comfortable and like yourself.
Featured image by @tiffanystyledit/Instagram
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Courtney is a contributing writer, based in Puerto Rico by way of Tennessee. Interested in the intersection of fashion and culture, she has an affinity for fashion, empowerment, and really good tacos. Keep up with her on Instagram (@hautecourtxo).
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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This Entrepreneur Is Living Proof That Investing In Yourself Helps Shape The Life You Desire
Money Talksis an xoNecole series where we talk candidly to real women about how they spend money, their relationship with money, and how they get it.
When Jillian Smith turned 30 years old, she did what many of us do – started wondering about what the next chapter of her life would be like. She was spending her days working in the corporate world and her evenings planning events for friends and family. And by most standards, doing pretty well. But still, she yearned for more; she desired to start her own business. So, after a lot of hard work and thought, she launched OneTouch Events– all by herself.
Fast forward to today, she’s a newlywed, known for her “pretty conferences,” and works with a group of trusted contractors. Her clients range from thought leaders to speakers, business coaches, and more. OneTouch also hosts celebrations of love, like weddings and baby showers, general events, and more. Actually, they just secured their first national brand, Whataburger, where they helped the fast food chain celebrate their 1000th location at a congratulatory event in Atlanta, Georgia.
It all seems so simple, right? But my thoughts on stories like this are always, how? It’s like, okay, that sounds cool, but– how did you keep paying your bills in the beginning? Or friends and family are one thing, but when did you start finding consistent clients? Well, in this conversation with xoNecole, Jillian broke down the importance of investing in yourself, financial literacy, and how having a clear vision for your life helped her tangibly turn her goals into a reality.
Can you share some of the experience you gained from previously working in corporate America? What did you take with you to OneTouch Events?
I previously worked for Accenture, a Fortune 500 consulting firm, and it’s where I learned people and process management, organizational structure, and business methodology. It was very rigorous and fast-paced, and I was often the only Black person or woman in the room.
But I brought all of my experiences to OneTouch. It’s a boutique firm, but we run it like a Fortune 500 company. For example, before I advertised anything, I had all of our systems built. We had two websites and a clear methodology. From my entry-level roles to manager level, I took a lot of those skills with me.
Jillian Smith
Courtesy
Congrats on the current success of the business, but can you talk to me about the financial struggles you endured starting the process? Let’s take it from the top.
I experienced all the things that no one tells you about running a business. First, I created it while still working at Home Depot corporate. When I made that first leap, I didn’t understand cash flow. I just didn’t know what it took to continue running my business, paying bills, and how to structure contracts and invoices. My first financial blow was in that first couple of years. I mean, I had to actually use my 401k to keep my lights on.
There’s a notion that says, "You have to spend money to make money,” but I learned you have to invest to make money.” And that’s when things changed for me – I paid for a business coach. They taught me how to structure contracts, payments, and etc. There's a lot of free knowledge online, but sometimes those avenues don’t actually teach practicality and what you’ll need to work through. I knew the main elements because of my knowledge base, but I still needed to be educated by someone who understood the industry.
There’s a notion that says, "You have to spend money to make money,” but I learned you have to invest to make money.” And that’s when things changed for me.
What is the best and worst business advice you’ve ever received?
The worst is that you should pay attention to your competition. The reason I say that is because I work better with blinders on. I believe when you pay attention to others, you start to pigeonhole yourself. Our competition is us.
The best piece of advice is to take time to be grateful. Gratefulness has been lost in business and life. Success, business, and life isn’t promised. There are so many people that pour into us and we just have to be grateful for them.
Do you have any money mantras you practice or hold to?
On the productivity side, I’d have to say my “Money Mornings,” which is all about being first. If we’re the first to respond, the first on the books, the first consultation – usually we’ll be there first to the table. Don’t be afraid to start early.
When it comes to affirmations, I’m more biblically based, so everything that I do is just “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not toward your own understanding.” Also, “And in all your ways acknowledge Him because he will direct your path.” So I trust that He will lay it out and everything will be taken care of.
Yes, I love that. Earlier, you mentioned a bit on investing; I’d like to dig into that. What does it look like for you, professionally and personally?
I’ve always looked at life transactionally. Because of that, I invested a lot in the business – I always wanted us to have updated technology and practices. I mean, I invested in a brand designer, business manager, and bookkeeper. My website isn’t just pretty, it brings in a strong ROI (return on investment).
But personally, I actively invest in self-care. It’s something we put on the back burner until you start feeling it in your body. High blood pressure, strokes, and heart attacks are real things. The event planning industry is one of the top 5 most stressful fields. It took me a while to understand the importance of self-care. But now I know you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. My gym membership and health is very important.
Would you consider yourself a saver or a spender?
I am a saver. I actually need to spend more on myself. I’m very conservative when it comes to my finances.
I feel like you are in the minority with that answer. Have you always been good with money?
Actually, yes, I just turned 43, and I can remember being in high school wanting a pager, and my parents told me they weren’t paying for it. I literally got a job and bought my own. So, I’ve kinda always been like that for as long as I can remember, very goal-oriented.
Jillian Smith
Courtesy
Do you have any budgeting tips for us then?
Most of us come out of college with a lot of credit card debt. So, the first recommendation is to get comfortable with how you spend and your balances. I have a spreadsheet with each card with line items and percentage rates, and I just started paying the highest down. But I also saved at the same time. If you’re new to saving, starting with a high-yield online account helps, too. Just start small. It could be $50 to auto-transfer every month, and it’ll grow it over time.
"If you’re new to saving, starting with a high-yield online account helps, too. Just start small. It could be $50 to auto-transfer every month, and it’ll grow it over time."
Out of curiosity, what’s your go-to splurge?
I love a spa. But not like the basic ones. Like, I’m going to the Four Seasons. And also, I don’t really cook a lot, so yes - I’ll eat out. I’m on Zoom like all day, every day, taking meetings, so those are my necessary splurges.
And have you reached your goal? If not, what’s next?
I’m insatiable with my goals, so no – they just keep growing. But a long-term one is to open up my own event facility, that’s in a nice area in the city. I want to be able to compete with some of the bigwigs in Atlanta.
It’s giving luxury. Finally, can you break down how you define wealth?
I’d define wealth as finance and fulfillment. In finance, it means OneTouch Events can invest in our people, our bills are paid, and we have a surplus. Like for example, last summer, I just gave the team a week off to just decompress for no reason, and we had team outings.
Personally, being wealthy is being comfortable in my skin. Last year I spent so much time with my family because I didn’t feel the need to work 24/7 like I envisioned. Wealth and fulfillment is being able to live a well-rounded life.
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