How This Woman Paid Off Over $90,000 Worth Of Debt Without Drastically Changing Her Lifestyle
With 2024 around the corner, a lot of us are starting to think about future goals. What new ideas do I want to bring to life, or what am I currently working on that needs improvement? I’ll be transparent in saying that improving my finances has been an ongoing challenge. I mean, sure, I’m generally stable. But “stable” isn’t enough to invest how I’d like or significantly save as desired. And while it’s not everyone’s favorite subject to bring to the dinner table, I realize a lot of my peers are facing the same problem. Especially in this economy, chile.
That’s why I was super excited to speak with personal finance coach, author, and certified financial instructor Rachael Hanible, a 36-year old Philly-native who has paid off over $92,000 in debt, saved a year's worth of her income, and sports a credit score of 846. In this conversation with xoNecole, she shared her finance journey, along with a few helpful tips for the girlies trying to make money moves (cues, Cardi B).
First, I have to say paying off over $90,000 worth of debt is amazing. Can you tell me a little bit about that journey? How did you cultivate it, and when was the moment you knew you wanted to change your situation?
It was a mixture of a few things. There was some student loan debt there. Plus, I had a car note and credit card debt. I grew up poor, but I never felt like that was God’s plan for my life. I always said I was a millionaire-in-training and spoke about the things I’d do when I’m wealthy. And I woke up one day with an idea of being debt-free, even though I didn’t know anyone who was. I was in school working at a convenience store, making $8/hr. when I had the bright idea. But after I finished college, I revisited the thought, and that’s when the plan started.
"I grew up poor, but I never felt like that was God’s plan for my life. I always said I was a millionaire-in-training and spoke about the things I’d do when I’m wealthy. And I woke up one day with an idea of being debt-free, even though I didn’t know anyone who was."
So many of us want to do that but struggle to make it a reality. What was your process?
I got a job doing accounting after my college job. One day, I just calculated all of my debt and discovered how much was being added to my student loan daily. In my mind, I just wanted to cut down the days that I owed that money, and I applied the same principle to my car note. I started with an extra $5 to my student loans and an extra $20 to my car note. And I was consistent with that idea as I continued to find and grow more income. Now I’m almost 13 years in with no car payment and 11 years with no student loan debt.
Did you always have a good relationship with money?
No (laughs). I went to school for business law, and one of my first assignments was to get a subscription to Wall Street Journal, but I held on to it after the assignment. I started to read about investing, ROTH IRAs, and more. They were mentioning words I never heard before, and that started my journey to learning more.
Just curious, what was your biggest splurge before you got here?
Probably shoes. I have over 100 pairs of shoes (laughs).
You gotta treat yourself sometimes, right?
Girl, not that much (laughs).
Photo courtesy of Rachael Hanible
Well, did you ever work any crazy jobs to get by?
Nothing too crazy because I’ve always been big on integrity over income. But I used to teach Excel classes in my apartment. People from churches would send their registration list, I’d reach out, and they’d come to my little one-bedroom and learn.
It’s giving hustler more than crazy, but I can appreciate the full-circleness of it all. Because, today, how much do you save monthly?
Right now, my major goal is to pay off my 30-year mortgage in eight years, and I have one more year to go. So I’d say I’m averaging about $3K a month toward saving or putting toward my home loans.
That’s incredible. But I’m curious – it’s hard enough to shift your finances the way you did. What triggered you to transform this skill into a business?
For years, I was helping people, and that continued to grow. People actually told me I should start charging – so I did.
You offer a lot more, though, right? Talk to me about your multiple streams.
Yes, it started with that one thing: talking and helping people. But when you solve one problem, people will send you bigger problems. So, it developed into classes for kids. Those sessions start at age three and go all the way to college-aged. Also, I’m an author and teach about real estate, budgeting, and credit.
What’s been your biggest business challenge so far?
Even though it's a sexy subject now, no one wanted to talk about this years ago. In the beginning, people didn’t wanna hear from a Black woman with no kids and no husband about financial literacy. For whatever reason, people felt like those things didn’t make me relatable. Like, of course, she can do this if she doesn’t have kids. It was difficult; that was something I really had to fight through.
Ugh, that's ridiculous. Did you have a person or tribe to confide in? Who do you talk to?
Yes, I talk to my mom. She’s a pastor. Then there’s my big sister, who is a mixture of the church and the streets and, of course, my best friend. She’s all the way left (laughs). I come to them for business and relationships. They are all fair and give me encouragement.
From working with diverse clientele, have you picked up on any popular unhealthy spending habits?
The habits are connected to the mindset. The mindset controls your access. Unfortunately, a lot of us don’t feel like freedom, luxury, or wealth is for us. Whether we have $5 or $5,000. I think once we shift that mindset, we’ll be able to hold on to it more.
"The habits are connected to the mindset. The mindset controls your access. Unfortunately, a lot of us don’t feel like freedom, luxury, or wealth is for us. Whether we have $5 or $5,000. I think once we shift that mindset, we’ll be able to hold on to it more."
How would you define wealth?
I define wealth as freedom and options. There are people waking up to do things they don’t want to do because they need the money and people going to sleep not doing what they want because they don’t have the money. Wealth is being able to make decisions when and how you want.
Okay, it’s time for you to teach us your ways. What investments do you currently have? Can you give us exact names?
Sure, I have a traditional 401k, Roth IRA, brokerage account, and a high-yield savings account. And every month, money goes into everything I just mentioned.
When it comes to investing, I’ve heard conflicting advice. Some people say you should start making investments as soon as you have consistent money coming in, and others suggest waiting and building more first. What’s your perspective?
I think we should have an emergency fund, especially now. You need something you can access quickly. For my clients, I always suggest setting a freedom number in case something happens. And then, after that, we do an even split of investing and saving. Inflation isn’t going anywhere, so we have to make our money grow.
"Inflation isn't going anywhere, so we have to make our money grow."
Photo courtesy of Rachael Hanible
And when it comes to budgeting, how detailed do we need to be?
Very. There are so many of us that work so hard for our money and don’t know where it’s going. Small things can go a long way. A lot of us are throwing small amounts of money away every day; that can add up, especially if you’re living paycheck-to-paycheck or have big goals.
What needs to be included on that budget? Can you share a must-have?
Build for fun in your budget now and freedom for the future. You need a healthy balance for it to be successful and realistic.
Do you have a money mantra that you swear by?
I still say I'm a millionaire-in-training. Now I have all my kids in class saying that. And I end all my classes by reminding people that even though they now have the knowledge and inspiration, only they can make the decision to change.
What’s been your biggest lesson through this process?
God takes care of the people who take care of His people. When I first started, I didn’t have the jazzy marketing and photo shoots, but people could tell my heart was connected to this. And I think that’s why, after ten years, I’m still getting new clients, contracts, and etc. There’s so much content about how to make your business grow, but the most important thing is to care and be passionate about what you’re doing.
What advice would you give to aspiring entrepreneurs?
Do something that you would do for free. People say you’ll never work a day in your life if you’re doing what you love. That’s not true. There’s gonna be some piece of your purpose that you’re not gonna like. But if you’d do it for free, that will tell you everything about longevity and if you’re doing it from your heart.
Things you’re gonna learn: taking the stairs is essential. If you try and take the fast lane, you’re gonna get to some levels you’re not prepared for. So, do it for free first and take the stairs.
Finally, what is your ultimate saving goal?
I don’t want any debt. Also, being able to make sure my mom is comfortable – she’s had some health challenges. I want to be able to do what I love without worrying about bills, and I want to be able to serve the people and not count pennies in the process.
I think it’s safe to say she’s well on her way.
To learn more about Rachael, connect with her on social media at @peptalks_ and visit her website at rachaelhanible.com.
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Feature image courtesy of Rachael Hanible
Kirby Carroll grew up in VA but now calls Atlanta, GA home. She has a passion for creating content and helping brands grow through storytelling and public relations. When not immersed in work, you can find her sipping a mimosa at brunch or bingeing a new TV drama on Netflix. Keep up with her on social media at @askKirbyCarroll.
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Sex & The New Year: Single Women Get Candid About Their 2025 Intimacy Goals
Fail to plan, plan to fail. It is certainly a saying that all of us have heard at one point or another; however, when it comes to sex, specifically, and definitely when it comes to women who aren’t married or in a serious relationship, I’m not so sure that plans are encouraged as much as they probably should be. I don’t just mean planning to get tested with partners or planning to use birth control — hopefully, those things are a given (right?).
What I mean is, if you are someone who likes to sit down and come up with resolutions for the new year, when it comes to your sex life, what exactly are you resolving to do? What sex-related goals do you actually have? Because if you don’t know and you kind of just let life “happen to you,” the way you end 2025 may not be the way you planned…because there never was a plan in place.
All of this is why I decided to ask 10 single women to pause, ponder, and then produce a semi-formal sex plan that they would be willing to share with y’all. Although a few of them were taken aback by my request at first, by the time they gave me their answer, each woman found it to be something that they would be doing annually moving forward — because, like everything else in life, knowing what you want out of sex, for yourself, is essential. And you certainly increase your chances of getting what you desire…when there is a plan in place.
*Middle names are always used in these types of interview pieces so that individuals can speak freely*
1. Hannah. 28.
Giphy“Girl, my sex plan is to stop having sex with my ex-fiancé. When we broke off our engagement 16 months ago, I’m not sure if either of us thought that we’d keep having sex like we were still together. But who wants to keep racking up bodies or risking getting an STD? Plus, the sex with him? I have never had it so good and so consistent. But when you asked me about putting a ‘sex plan’ together, and I really thought about how our relationship has no future — I accept that I need to let that last part of us go. Otherwise, I could date someone and still be having sex with my ex. I’m not going to tell him [her ex] about my plan until after our date on New Year’s Eve. Don’t judge me. I’m a work in progress!”
Shellie here: Check out “You Love Him. You Prefer Sex With Your Ex. What Should You Do?”
2. Alexie. 34.
Giphy“I’m gonna have me some multiple orgasms, dammit! I am so tired of reading about them and not being able to relate. I think women have been conditioned to think that even getting one is something that we should be grateful for — you know, kind of like that Salt-N-Pepa brag about getting knocked out for the night after one ‘shot.’ No ma’am. I wanna know what it’s like to cum, pause, cum again, pause, and cum again. I’m going to make that my mission for the entire year. I’ll let you know how it goes.”
Shellie here: Check out “How To Have Mind-Blowing Multiple Orgasms. Tonight, Chile.”
3. Thalia. 27.
Giphy“I want to learn how to enjoy oral sex more — not giving, receiving. I’ve always liked the power that comes from giving a man head, but I haven’t met a guy who makes receiving it feel as good as my girlfriends talk about. Whenever it happens to me, I feel annoyed; it’s almost like a dog is licking on me or something. Everything just feels wet, sloppy, and aimless. I’ve got a guy friend who says that he can get me what I’m after. I’m considering him because I’ll be damned if I’m out here giving out all this good head, and I end up dying not knowing what everyone else is even talking about!”
Shellie here: Check out “Sooo...What If You HATE Oral?” and “Okay. So, This Is Why Oral Sex Is Probably Not Satisfying You (Fully).” and (just in case) “How To Preserve Your Friendship After BAD Casual Sex”
4. Icelynne. 30.
Giphy“‘Get over a man by getting under a different man’ is some bullsh-t. All you do is up your body count. The guy I’ve been seeing, the kissing is good but the sex isn’t that great, but I really like him. In the past, I would just move on, but now that you ask me to come up with a plan — I think the plan is to try and make sex better. You get older, and you realize that sometimes you ‘click’ immediately with someone, and sometimes, you need to be more patient. It’s not that the sex is bad, it’s just that I’m used to good sex being easier. Learning to talk about my needs and working with someone to meet them — that’s the plan for next year.”
Shellie here: Check out “Do You Lie About Your Body Count? Here's Why You Shouldn't.,” “6 Things About The Whole 'Body Count' Debate That Should Be Discussed” and “Is There REALLY Such A Thing As 'Bad Sex'?”
5. Gabriella. 45.
Giphy“I’m sick of reading about all of the different kinds of orgasms that you can have and barely knowing what a [clitoral] one feels like. If I can have a nipple orgasm, then I’m going to have one. And I can have one by myself? In my sleep? [Shellie here: Yes, sleep orgasms are an actual thing] And what’s this, you can come just from someone kissing you, right? What the f-ck?! I’m on mission to be able to say that I’ve had every type of orgasm there is. The interviewing process for this mission is about to be so funny, too. I already know.”
Shellie here: Check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”
6. Terrika. 33.
Giphy“I’m leaving faking orgasms in my rearview mirror. It doesn’t help anything. All it does is make men think that they’ve accomplished something that they haven’t and make me resent them for doing it. I hate to say it, but I’ve been acting like I’ve cum for so long that I can’t even remember the last time that I’ve had a real orgasm — oh, yes, I can, and it was two damn years ago! I think because I like sex, even if I don’t cum, is why I’ve put up with it for so long. I’m not getting any younger, and I need to make sure I end up with a man where I don’t have to do any pretending. 2025 is going to be my year. I am speaking it into existence!”
Shellie here: Check out “Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP” and “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not”
7. Persephone. 38.
Giphy“I want to experience sexcations all over the world. I find it fascinating how much sex gets better for me whenever I’m in a new environment. If that can happen just with a different hotel or an Airbnb, I can only imagine what it would be like to make love in London, Cape Town, or Barcelona. It’s also sexy to get to know someone better in a different space. I met a guy [last year], and our connection is strong. We’ve been talking about stamping our passports together. We haven’t had sex yet. I think an international sexcation being our first time, would be perfect for the new year.”
Shellie here: Check out “Married Couples, It's Time For A Sexcation!” and “This Is How To Create The Best Kind Of ‘Sex Bucket List’”
8. Evelyn. 29.
Giphy“I want to know what ‘making love’ feels like. Is that weird to say? Coming into sex, I was what my friends say is a ‘late bloomer’ because I didn’t have sex until my junior year [of college]. It wasn’t random, but it wasn’t with a guy who I loved — well, I loved him as a friend and still do, but it wasn’t a romantic type of thing. I was curious and trusted him to try it out. I don’t regret that, but since, there have only been a few others, and the pattern has been the same: sex with friends and nothing mind-blowing. [In 2025], I want to wait until I’m in a serious relationship and then have sex. I keep hearing that love-making is the best. I have no clue. Would like to know.”
Shellie here: “Unforgettable: 10 Men Open Up About That 'One Experience' They'll Never Forget”
9. Tamiko. 41.
“I want to take a break [from sex]. During my marriage, we had so many sex problems that once we divorced, I definitely made up for lost time. It was mostly because I felt like I was being ‘sexually gaslit’ by my husband — like I couldn’t get the sex that I was after, and it was my fault. Now that I know that it wasn’t a ‘me problem,’ it was an ‘us issue,’ and I’ve gotten all of my ‘itches scratched,’ I’m ready to learn some other things that make me tick outside of the bedroom. I’m not necessarily declaring abstinence for a year, but I am done with my nothing-more-than-sex quest. Next time, it will be someone who gets me excited in more than just the bed.”
Shellie here: Check out “I've Been Abstinent For 12 Years. Here's How.” and “6 Genuine Signs You're Making An Emotional Connection With Your Sex Partner”
10. Lana. 51.
Giphy“My plan is to be more open-minded — not so much when it comes to my standards for a partner but the things that I’m willing to do sexually. I’m not the most conservative person on the planet, but when it’s always in the back of your mind that you can get pregnant, that can make you more cautious. I’m on the tail end of menopause now, so I suddenly feel more adventurous. With a steady sex partner, I’m ready to try whatever and do whatever. Sex that exceeds anything I’ve done before…that is my 2025 plan, girl. Let’s go!”
Shellie here: Check out “What Having Sex After Menopause Is Like, According To 10 Women”
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Featured image by Bob Thomas/Getty Images