

Relationships can already be a lot of work on their own, but throw money into the mix, and you may have a whole new list of problems if you aren't on top of things. Money is super powerful and has the ability to turn a good thing sour real quick. And it's important that you don't let money come in between you and bae.
There are a number of ways that coins can make an impact on your relationship if you allow them to. Your boo may be hiding money from you or lying to you about the amount of debt that they're in. They might have a spending problem that they keep hidden. Bae may also make major purchases without getting your input first. All of these things lead to there being some trust issues in the relationship.
When things are hidden from one party, it's downright disrespectful, and can really do some damage. It becomes a never-ending cycle of poor communication, arguments, anger, stress, and sometimes even resentment for one another if you're not careful.
It is vitally important that each of you have a good understanding on how having your finances in check can make the difference between a wonderful loving, thriving relationship versus one filled with disappointments and frustrations.
Financial stress can put off wonderful opportunities, such as having relaxing vacations together, qualifying for that first starter home, or causing one partner to become so frustrated that they may walk out on the relationship altogether. Yes, couples have to sit down on the regular and decide where they are going to spend their coins. You have to remember that you two are on the same team and have to operate as such in order to be successful in this area. It is especially necessary to create a budget, and be of like minds where your financial goals are concerned.
The power that comes with being financial independent is the best power that any couple can obtain.
The more financially savvy you become with your money, the better you will feel about yourself, and the relationship that you share with your partner. Life can bring setbacks, such as emergencies, health issues, car problems, etc, and you must prepare for these types of events, which will come with no doubt. This is why you must be absolutely careful to have a savings, coins tucked away for those rainy days. It's so much easier to get through those things together if you both are open and on the same page at all times.
As soon as a couple decides that they want to take it to the next level, you may want to sit down with bae and discuss how do each of you think about money, and have that conversation about the importance of having a plan in place for planning financial independence. This is one area of the relationship where you don't want to be shy about. If bae doesn't want to talk about it, take it as a sign that they either are in denial about their financials or they don't believe it is important. Major red flags there.
Here are 14 important questions that you should ask your partner early in the relationship so that you can get a better understanding of how you should proceed:
- How was money handled in your household as a child?
- What did your parents teach you about money?
- How does spending money make you feel?
- Are you a spender or a saver?
- Do you budget?
- What are some of your financial goals?
- What are some of the issues you've had financially?
- What are some of your biggest frustrations and challenges when it comes to your finances?
- Do you invest? Aggressively or conservatively?
- Are you contributing to a 401(k) or another retirement plan?
- What's the most expensive thing that you've ever purchased?
- How do you feel about giving to charity?
- How are we going to handle our bills?
- Do you believe in having separate or joint accounts?
Let's face it, no one wants to live a life of deprivation, always wondering how you are going to make it from paycheck to paycheck. That's why it's important to learn how to manage your money before entering into a serious relationship. If you are already in a relationship and the financials are looking bleak, then there are a lot of ways you can fix what is broken.
There are many financial counseling companies out there who will do the work for you, or you can gain some discipline and do it on your own. Just know that the moment you begin taking gaining control of your money seriously, that is when you will be met with all kinds of challenges. Just don't let the distractions stop you from achieving your goals.
If you are real serious with bae, and you want to hold it together, then get a grip of your money and do what you need to do to make the relationship thrive.
Featured image by Getty Images
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- Avoid Financial Conflicts in Later Life Relationships | Investopedia ›
Kristin Sutton (aka the Money Therapist) is a personal finance and lifestyle blogger/coach over at DebtFreeBlackGirl.com that empowers young women to take control of their finances by changing the way they think about money. As a licensed therapist, her daily mission is to uncover and eliminate the mental roadblocks that hinder people from living the life of their dreams. You can find her on all things social: @DebtFreeBlkGrl
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Feature image by Leon Bennett/WireImage
Spring is upon us, and with this time of year comes the annual closet cleanout we so desperately need and collectively look forward to. As the chill of winter finally gives way to sunnier days, it’s the perfect opportunity to clear out what no longer serves us in life and our closets. A symbol of new beginnings and transformations, the shift in seasons is the perfect time to declutter our space while releasing the old to welcome the new.
During the process of evaluating our wardrobes, we determine what we can live without while looking forward to what it is we truly need. With trends constantly coming and going, it’s easy to get caught up in the endless cycle of “must-haves” that barely last a season. To help you create a closet you actually love, one that feels stylish, effortless, and true to you, we’ve curated 10 essentials that will ground your style and keep you ready for whatever the season brings.
1.White Tank Top
The must-have ribbed white tank is the number one staple everyone needs in their spring and summer wardrobe. Perfectly paired with denim, soft trousers, maxi skirts, and more, the combinations are indeed endless. A ribbed tank is relatively inexpensive, even with a quality find that provides plenty of wear and durability.
2.Denim Maxi Skirt
As mentioned above, a maxi skirt is a perfect foundation for a fashion-forward casual outfit. Denim maxi skirts, with their nod to the 2000s era, have proven to be a versatile staple that can be dressed up or down depending on your mood and plans for the day. Keep it casual by pairing a denim maxi with sneakers and a simple white top for everyday errands, or elevate the look with a sleek heel, cut-out top, and moto jacket for a more polished, modern take.
3.Straight Leg Denim
When it comes to denim, the straight-leg silhouette has officially cemented its place as a go-to style. Offering a slim, streamlined fit without the look and feel of skinny jeans, this cut pairs perfectly with everything from boots to sneakers. With a range of washes from light blue to indigo, the slim-leg denim is a timeless wardrobe essential that blends comfort and style easily.
4.Statement Jewelry
Minimal jewelry had its moment, but lately, bold accessories have taken center stage. Statement pieces have the power to elevate even the simplest outfits, adding instant personality and polish. If not wearable art, it's stackable jewelry, with the chunkier being the better. If you’re not ready to give up the minimal look, add in a statement necklace layered with minimal chains and hoop earrings to achieve an effortless, cool girl look.
5.Loafers
If you’re a chunky boot lover, loafers are the perfect swap for warm weather. Style with chunky socks when wearing a skirt, or slip into a classic pair with oversized, long-length, low-rise jeans. Loafers have firmly earned their spot as a year-round staple, offering the perfect blend of style, comfort, and versatility.
6.Oversized Sunglasses
Nothing about this year is about blending in or being subtle, which is why designer frames from Loewe, Gucci, and Tom Ford continue to set the standard for bold, statement-making looks when it comes to eyewear. Just like most accessories, frames are bigger and bolder, thanks to classic aviator styles and oversized sunnies with face-shaping silhouettes.
7.Shoulder Bag
There's something about the shoulder bag that continues to captivate the fashion world. It's small yet conveniently fits all necessities with a limitless range of colors, shapes, and patterns to match any look. It’s also the perfect balance between the micro mini and the oversized tote. If looking for a classic designer bag for spring, its size and shape will be worth the investment, as this silhouette will never go out of style.
8.Button-Down Long Sleeve
The button-down long sleeve is one of the most loved closet essentials. The versatility is unmatched, and the price is unbeatable for the amount of wear one can achieve in this staple piece. Worn open, closed, layered underneath a corset, or wrapped around one's waist, there's more than enough reason to benefit from owning a crisp white button-down top. Pair with leggings and heels for a casual chic moment, layered with statement accessories for a classic spring look.
9. Dad Trouser
Trousers are a great option for women who love to stretch the limits of chic workwear. The "Dad Pant" is a classic tailored aesthetic with a high-rise fitted waist and extra-long hem, a length perfect for high heels, sneakers, or chunky sandals. Opting for lightweight fabric is also perfect for year-round temperatures. Wear long trousers with a fitted white top, and an oversized black or beige blazer with pointed-toe heels for a sophisticated look day or night.
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Featured image by Edward Berthelot/Getty Images
Originally published on March 16, 2023