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How I Embrace Being A Multi-Ethnic Woman Of Color
I have been meaning to write this for an entire year or maybe all of my life. This has been a touchy subject since I was old enough to understand the concept of race. It's a sensitive subject for all of us because the concept of color and race is something we are still learning to be raw about. It's not a conversation you can have with just anyone either. You have to be open to receive others' experiences and respect their perspective too. I realize that not everyone will understand my point of view. And that's OK. So, I want to say I write this so you can understand me more.
I have been exposed to colorism and a level of xenophobia my entire life for simply being a mixed-race person. Xenophobia is a dislike or prejudice against people from other countries. If you ask me what it means to be a Black woman or a woman of color, my answer is more than likely going to be different than the majority.
I belong to a subset of women who are deemed not worthy, and not capable because there is melanin in our skin. I belong to a subset of women who are seen as less because we may speak different languages and have different cultures. I belong to a subset of women who are not white.
When the truth is, women like me are effing magic.
I am a Black woman. I am a woman of color. I am a minority woman. I am a Caribbean-American woman. I am the daughter of immigrants. I was raised as a Trinidadian-American woman. I am well-versed in some of Trinidadian history. I know the slang, the holidays, the food, and the culture. I can even laugh at the jokes. I was raised knowing because the color of my skin is not white and my ethnic features are not quite "black" and not quite "white", but in between, I will experience a level of prejudice from everyone.
My mother is Indian, Venezuelan, and French. Her mother's father is Indian, and her mother's mother is Venezuelan. My mother's father is French and Indian. If I remember correctly, my grandfather's father was half-white and from France. But I can't remember what my great grandfather's other half is. My grandfather's mother was a Madrassi Indian. This is a region of South India. Madrassi Indians are dark-skinned and damn near black. My father's parents are Indian and Pakistani. Both my parents were born and raised in Trinidad. For historical context, the indigenous people of Trinidad were the Arawaks and the Caribes. If you Google them, they resemble Native Americans.
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The Triangular Trade between England, Spain, France, and Portugal brought slaves and indentured servants from Africa, India, Syria, and China to Trinidad. Then there were the settlers from England, Spain, and France as Trinidad was ruled by all of these countries before gaining independence. The misconception that most Americans have is: if you are a Caribbean immigrant, it automatically means Black or African. Which isn't always true. And in Trinidad, the Caribbean, and other countries, there's no such thing as "Afro" or "Indo" [insert country's name] or a "white" or [Caucasian-insert country's name]. This is just a man-made concept and a politically correct way of saying things. In the US, there isn't a differentiation between Black and African-American either. The terms are interchangeable. I know, because I studied multiracial hybrids in college.
But did you know in other countries, we're just Americans? To hyphenate ethnicity and race is an American thing. As I said before colorism and racism are different in Trinidad compared to the US. It's not to say they didn't experience these things, they did. It was just different compared to the United States. Trinidad is the only country in the world that celebrates all ethnicities as one country. We don't care if your neighbor is white, yellow, red, brown, black, and in between. We are foreverone.
My skin color and my ethnic features never bothered me. I have always loved my dark-hued skin, curly hair, and bushy eyebrows. I never felt like I was less than nor do I think I am better than anyone else because of what I look like.
My parents came to this country having to learn what Black history is. They had to choose a racial category because there was no option for West Indians. And if you ask my 72-year-old father what race he chooses, despite the fact his racial and ethnic features are Indian, he will choose Black because he is notEast Indian and he has no choice. My parents experienced triple the racism for being immigrants, having an accent, and the color of their skin.
My parents never assimilated to America nor did they forget where they come from. They never lost their accents. I was raised with curry chicken, aloo (potato), roti, paratha (like a beat-up tortilla), dahl (blended yellow peas with spices) and rice, baigan choka (stew eggplant), calaloo (pureed spinach and okra), pelau (pigeon peas and rice), plantains, cassava, breadfruit, mango chow (like the Mexican chamoy on fruit), fry bake (fried bread), salt fish, and brown stew chicken. When I was a kid, my faddah would play his soca and calypso records during the holidays. My brother and I would wine down di the whole living room. My best childhood memories are in Trinidad; my parents took my brother and me home from the time we were three-years-old.
It was hard going through middle school, and high school living in a predominantly white suburb of Southern California. At home, I was raised with a broad meaning of racism. In school, I learned a different and narrow meaning of racism. In school, I was teased because I spoke the Queen's English. I was told I wanted to be white. I didn't know there was something wrong with the way I spoke English. I didn't know I wouldn't be accepted by others because of it. I didn't understand.
I was teased because I wore my hair in one plait (braid) and didn't wear braids. But that's how my mother and her mother grew up. Teased because I had no idea what soul foodwas or who certain famous Black Americans were. But let me just say, the teasing didn't come from the white kids. It came from the kids who had the same skin color as me. I was constantly asked, "What are you?" or "Are you even Black?" Like it's a bad thing if I am not. But it's a bad thing if I am too. It didn't matter which way I answered because it was clear I wasn't going to be accepted. I'd have to constantly explain where my parents were from. I had to explain they are not African nor American. It was annoying AF. I became embarrassed about where my family came from because no one understood me. I didn't want to invite friends to my house, let alone a boy I liked. But still, I didn't feel the need to choose a group to belong to. Why do I have to choose any damn way?Because I am told to? Nope. I often think about if the concept of race was nonexistent and not a social construct, who would we be?
Answer: Human.
There isn't a West Indian community in California because most Caribbean immigrants go to New York or Florida. But let another West Indian run into each other in California, it's like they found their best friend again. Come Hollywood Carnival in June we come together on Hollywood Boulevard to jump up and play mas. I keep a very diverse circle of friends. Throughout middle school most of my friends were white. In high school, I realized we could no longer connect on a cultural level. So, most of my friends in high school, college, and even now are Hispanic, Latina, Asian, Filipino, Black, Caribbean, or mixed like me. We connected because we had similar cultures, whether it was food or upbringing.
Now, that I am living in Florida there are West Indians everywhere. It's cool to hear the music I grew up with playing in the bars, clubs, or at a party. Soca, chutney, and calypso. I like that can I drive up the street and find curry goat or brown stew chicken when my aunt doesn't cook those foods. When I am in Trinidad, I never have to question or explain my ethnic background because it does not matter. It's not questioned. My family will tease me and call me "di Yankee" aka "the American".
Honestly, I never wanted to be confined to a box. When I have to fill out a form, I choose "other", or "two or more races". Simply because I don't have an option for who I am. And if you ask me, now that Madame Vice President Harris is in office the racial categories should be redefined, restructured, or abolished because it leaves out so many people. I am dougla gyal just like Kamala Harris, Shan Boodram, Tatyana Ali, and Melanie Fiona.
A dougla in the Caribbean is a person who is predominantly mixed with Indian and Black. I will never forget where my parents come from. I embrace all of me now more than ever. The Indian, Pakistani, Venezuelan, and French in me that is. I embrace my multi-ethnic identity by accepting it. By accepting who my family is. All of them. By teaching others who I am and about my culture.
By releasing the guilt and shame, I once felt about my family. I don't feel I have to check a man-made box to make someone else comfortable or feed someone's curiosity. No one can ask me to look the other way when it comes to my multi-ethnic background. By asking me to choose one race and only one, is asking me to dishonor myself. You're asking me to disown and insult my family. You're asking me to forget where they came from. And that's something I cannot do and will not do.
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At the end of the day, I feel race is just a color assignment and doesn't account for so many people's cultures. We are so many colors and we cannot all fit into one crayon box.
We are all Black women, and we are all women of color regardless of where we come from, or how we grew up. We are subject to the same the negative connotations and stereotypes that come with it. Regardless if you're biracial, mixed race, or all of the above. No woman should have to feel like they are only allowed to own half of who they are to be accepted or fit in. No woman should have to feel like they are less of one race because they are a quarter or a half of something else. And vice versa.
You are no less Black, White, Asian, Latino, Hispanic, or Indian because you're a mixed-race woman. Accept yourself. You are who you are. Honor all of who you are at all costs. Embrace that shit to no end. And I understand this is dependent on how one was raised and dependent on many other factors too. But please know you can unapologetically be all of who you are without question. It's not your responsibility to validate people's perceptions of you and ignorance. But it is your responsibility to educate those same people.
And if you can break free from the mindset of having to choose to be only one ethnicity and/or race, only then will you be free to embrace all the parts of you have suppressed or may not have known. It's never too late to keep learning about who you are, sis.
In 2021, we're unapologetically embracing being multi-ethnic women of color. Periodt.
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Camille is a lover of all things skin, curls, music, justice, and wanderlust; oceans and islands are her thing. Her words inspire and her power is her voice. A California native with Trinidadian roots, she has penned personal essays, interviews, and lifestyle pieces for POPSUGAR, FEMI magazine, and SelfishBabe. Camille is currently creating a life she loves through words, self-love, fitness, travel, and empowerment. You can follow her on Instagram @cam_just_living or @written_by_cam.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Blair Underwood Initially Turned Down 'Sex And The City' Because 'It Was About How Samantha Was Fascinated By Dating A Black Man’
Actor and heartthrob Blair Underwood is opening up about why he turned down Sex and the City the first time he was offered a role. Many fans of the HBO series may recall Blair's time on the show in which his character was dating Miranda (Cynthia Nixon). However, he was previously offered another role where his character would date Samantha (Kim Cattrall).
During his interview with AV Club, the Set It Off star revealed that he was uncomfortable with the initial offer due to the character's fascination with him being a Black man.
“I actually did say ‘no’ the first time,” he said. “The first time they had offered the role, to be honest with you, it was about how Samantha was fascinated by dating a Black man and wanted to know if, uh, all of the rumors were true about our anatomy! And I said, ‘Listen, I’m honored, thank you, but I just don’t want to play a character based on race, on curiosity about a Black man.'”
But that didn't stop them from reaching out again. This time he was offered to play Dr. Robert Leeds, the love interest to Miranda and he decided to go for it. "So they were nice enough to call about a year later, and I said, 'Well, is it gonna be about race?' And they said, 'No, no, no, we’re not even gonna mention race!' And I think it really did only come up maybe once," he recalled.
"It did five episodes, and I think Samantha mentioned it once, saying something about 'a Black doctor' that Miranda was dating. And that’s really been a consistent thing in my career: not wanting to be boxed as 'the Black guy.'
"I’ve had that conversation with many producers along the way, and they were so great. They said, 'No, he’s just a doctor who Miranda meets in the elevator, and they have a nice little fling.' And it was amazing."
Blair has had a wide-ranging career playing everything from a lawyer on L.A. Law to playing Madame CJ Walker's husband on Self Made: Inspired by the Life of Madame CJ Walker. And during his interview, he revealed another role that he initially turned down, Set It Off. The movie, which is considered a classic in Black culture, stars Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith, Vivica A. Fox, and Kimberly Elise. Blair's character, Keith, played a banker and love interest to Jada's character, Stony.
He explained why he said no at first and eventually accepted the offer. "I had initially said “no” to that. Because I was playing this historic, iconic African-American historical figure in Jackie Robinson, and the time, y’know, there was Boyz N The Hood, and Menace II Society was out there, and I’d finished playing this noble Negro… [Laughs]," he said.
"And I’m reading the script, and there’s a scene where Jada Pinkett’s character—Jada Pinkett-Smith now—was going to sell her body so she could make some money to send her brother to college. And I remember, honestly, I threw the script across the room. I was, like, “I don’t want to do this. I want to do something uplifting for the Black culture and Black characters, and I don’t know if I want to see this.”
After a conversation with the movie's director F. Gary Gray and the actor's manager encouraging him to finish reading the script, Blair had a change of heart. What he first thought about the movie turned out to be totally different.
"So I finished the script, and I saw that the character they were asking me to play was really the love story in the midst of all of this turmoil of all of these characters, the four ladies: Queen Latifah, Vivica Fox, Kimberly Elise, and Jada," he explained.
"It was so well-written, it was such a great platform for them. And to be able to play the love story and the storyline that gave Jada’s character a leg up and a way out of this world, something to hope for, to wish for, someone to love her… I said, 'You know what? I’d like to be a part of that.'
"And I’m so glad I did, because that film resonates to this day. People all the time come up to me and say that they love that movie. So I’m glad that I did it."