Sorry to Bother You is a science fiction comedy and the brainchild of Boots Riley. Written and directed by the rapper turned screenwriter and director, the film is a reflection of an American past, and also a satirical depiction of similar phenomenons we experience today, like capitalism, racism, and the need to play a role to get ahead in life. The setting may be in the 70s, but like most things, the more they change, the more they stay the same.
Lakeith Stanfield (Get Out, Atlanta) plays Cassius "Cash" Green, a down-on-his-luck brotha that eventually lands a telemarketing job and finds that the fastest way to success is to put on his "white voice"--raise your hand if you have one of those. Cassius takes the job to impress his girlfriend Detroit, played by Tessa Thompson (Dear White People, Creed). If you seen any of the trailers, you know it's definitely going to be funny af. Recently, the stars of Sorry To Bother You sat down exclusively with TheYBF to talk about the film, what they want fans to take away from the satirical comedy, and their own perceptions of the pitfalls of social media.
Stanfield says that he hopes viewers come into the theaters open-minded and find their own ways to relate to and understand the underlying message: the way to growth is through failure. Stanfield said:
"My hope is that people come to the story with an open mind and are able to receive and retain whatever they feel personally...I can say what I took from Cassius, just reinstating the idea to remain steadfast and tenacious in your pursuit of not only higher and better things for yourself, but also a sense of self and identity in the world. And just be willing to fail so you can grow. So I hope people can see the parallels between those things."
Everyone has social media nowadays, and while we all have our own relationships with our social feeds, many of us are feeling the harmful effects of the forever churning news cycle. Thompson tells TheYBF.com that although there are some benefits to social media, the "clickbait culture" is causing a sort of disconnect from the real world.
"In terms of dehumanization, social media is incredible for being able to disseminate information and create community, but I think we also get into a space where we're bombarded with images and we feel disconnected from the fact that they are happening [in actual] in this clickbait culture."
From police brutality, overt racism and gruesome violence, to the heart-wrenching realities of everyday people in America and around the world, some of us are becoming desensitized while others are experiencing real symptoms of PTSD. A recent study revealed that "Black Americans' mental health suffers from recurring exposure to police killings of unarmed black men and women."
There are also other costs associated with this continuous overexposure. According to Stanfield, we are adapting to these and other images at a rapid pace:
"I think if you show people images enough, human beings become comfortable with things after a while and we adapt...We've always had to adapt but now there's less censorship."
This adaptation is like a double-edged sword. On one hand, with a carefully curated timeline, the images and messages you scroll through can have a measurably positive impact on your mental and spiritual health. On the other edge, it's almost impossible to escape the increasingly violent and disheartening news cycle that shows, oftentimes in graphic detail, the very real world we live in.
The internet is a place where you can literally be whoever you want to be and say almost anything without any real consequences. Stanfield himself has been the subject of his own post-and-delete moment that caused him to feel the wrath of those who felt he was being homophobic and insensitive, he now realizes that adaptation hasn't made people any less sensitive. He also advises that we all should put the phone down more.
"But, the internet is also a place where you can be insensitive and that's OK because you're removed from the experience. So you can say and feel and do things that you wouldn't do in real life. So in a sense, it feels like people are becoming less sensitive but I don't think that's the case. People are more sensitive, but now we just have these avenues that we can explore and safely not have to come into contact with these things. So, I say spend less time on the internet everyday and get back on the ground."
Sorry to Bother You hits theater in limited release today, July 6 and nationwide on July 13.
*Featured image by Tinseltown / Shutterstock.com
RELATED
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock
