Healing rituals are key to thriving in this human experience. If you are not regulating your emotions, taking the time to process, and giving your spirit time to renew and heal, then you are often carrying emotional heaviness from one experience to the next. Healing rituals are a way to give your mind, body, and soul the attention it needs and craves, and to put yourself in a better position to live your best life. When you take the time to heal within, positive transformations occur without.
When it comes to healing rituals for your zodiac sign, you want to especially take a look at the element that is more dominant in your birth chart. An earth sign or earth-dominant sign is going to thrive in healing experiences that involve Mother Earth and rituals that get them grounded such as yoga, hiking, placing their bare feet on the Earth, or "earthing." Being out in nature and doing grounding rituals are what best serve them. A fire sign, on the other hand, works well with fire energy such as candles and creativity, and with rituals that get their body moving and energy flowing.
Knowing what works best for you and your emotional and physical experience in life will help you on your healing journey, and below are some healing rituals for your zodiac sign to try sometime. Take what resonates, and listen to the guidance of your soul.
Healing Rituals for Aries
A good healing ritual for Aries involves activity and something to get your energy moving. Going for a hike with a nice view at the end of it is the perfect healing ritual for you. You'll get your exercise and spend time taking your mind away from anything heavy by being in the moment. Since you are a goal-oriented sign and flow well with things that make you feel more accomplished, taking a scenic hike is the perfect experience for you to unwind and connect with the body.
Healing Rituals for Taurus
A guided meditation in mother nature would serve a Taurus well. As an earth sign, the best healing rituals for you involve being in nature. Just breathing that air and having your feet touch the earth is a healing experience in and of itself, but doing something like meditation or yoga in this atmosphere is even more transcendent. Allowing your body to ground itself with Mother Earth, feeling your connection to all that is, and breathing fresh air is a good setup to heal. As a Taurus, you should get outside for your healing rituals.
Healing Rituals for Gemini
A Gemini’s healing journey involves releasing any clutter in the mind. As a Gemini, you need space to mentally decompress and get what you are feeling or thinking out. You don't hold things in, but if you are hurting that bad, you will carry a lot of that within out of fear of being too deep or vulnerable with others. A good healing ritual for Gemini is to talk to a friend, family member, therapist, or confidant who will give you the floor and allow you to release without judgment or interruption. Healing for you is about letting go.
Healing Rituals for Cancer
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A relaxing, candlelit bath is a healing ritual that serves Cancer well. Healing for you is about taking the time to regulate your emotions, coming back to your center, and feeling a sense of calmness in your life. Being a water sign, rituals that involve water energy are fulfilling for your soul. Add in some of your favorite crystals, flowers, essential oils, a book, or some relaxing music, and you are set for a healing and therapeutic experience. Your healing ritual should involve something that allows your emotions to flow, and a space where you feel safe, like your home.
Healing Rituals for Leo
Healing for Leo is all about getting back to feeling like themselves again. Oftentimes when you feel the need to heal or get back to your center, it’s coming from a place of feeling outside of yourself or not connected to who you are. A healing experience and ritual for Leo would be to stand in front of a mirror and repeat “I love you” or other motivating daily rituals every day. Being face to face with yourself and looking at the reflection before you helps you tap into the depths of your soul, and is a space to give yourself the utmost love.
Healing Rituals for Virgo
A good healing ritual for a Virgo would be to go to a flower market or connect with the healing energy of the flowers. Flowers exude an energy of beauty, healing, softness, allowing, forgiveness and love. The saying “Don’t forget to stop and smell the roses,” is perfect for a Virgo as you can get so lost in the details and the day-to-day that you forget to be in the moment and sit in gratitude with what is. You can connect with the healing energy of flowers by creating a bouquet, taking a bath with flowers, lighting a candle surrounded by your favorite flowers, putting flower essence essential oils on, being around flowers, and quite literally smelling the roses.
Healing Rituals for Libra
Drinking tea is a special healing ritual for Libra. Tea is calming, tea is peaceful, and tea is also great to have over a conversation, which is also another healing ritual for Libra. Some cultures and practices even use the leaves of tea as a way to do readings and foretell the future. Not to mention the health benefits of drinking tea for the body, a simple cup of tea is the perfect ritual for Libra to enjoy something nice for themselves and allow your thoughts to catch up with your body. A Libra can tend to be focused on things that are happening outside of themselves, and enjoying a nice cup of tea can be the perfect healing ritual for Libra to take a moment and find your balance again.
Healing Rituals for Scorpio
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Healing for a Scorpio is a deep and transformative experience. Your life is all about evolving on your journey, and you tend to come out of tough experiences in an even better position than before. You take your healing and personal evolution seriously, but you also tend to be a sign that bottles up all of your emotions before it’s too late. A good healing ritual for a Scorpio involves acts of letting go. On a Full Moon, a Scorpio should write down all of the things you are looking to let go of. Write down emotions, past experiences, negative people, and old objects of affection that are now a sour memory. Then get a white candle and burn the piece of paper (safely) while focusing on lovingly letting go of those things.
Healing Rituals for Sagittarius
Reading a book, creating art, or journaling your thoughts are all good healing rituals for Sagittarius. Creating something out of nothing gets you in an enlightened and joyful mood, and brings the right circumstances for inner clarity. Even healing for Sagittarius needs to be a fun experience or you will get bored and try something else. Putting a whole bunch of colors before them, a pen and paper, or an enticing book, allows Sagittarius to remember the bigger picture and allow enough space from your challenges to believe in something better.
Healing Rituals for Capricorn
Shadow work is a beneficial healing ritual for Capricorn. Now, shadow work is serious business and requires you to get very real with yourself, but this sense of straight-to-the-point, let’s get to the bottom-of-it attitude involved in shadow work is perfect for an earthy Capricorn. Shadow work can be done through meditation or with someone licensed in the work, and by working with your unconscious mind to uncover repressed emotions, past trauma, or aspects of yourself that you keep hidden. This is a very healing and cathartic experience, but as with all spiritual awakenings, there is an aspect to it that can feel uncomfortable as well. There are different approaches to shadow work, and it's about finding out what works for you here.
Healing Rituals for Aquarius
A good healing ritual for an Aquarius would be to pull an oracle card for spiritual guidance or to get an oracle card reading. Oracle cards are different from tarot cards as you tend to be a lighter experience, and you are also more about giving divine guidance rather than foretelling the future. Not only do you get to recognize how strong your intuition is in the process, but it also helps you remember that life is so much bigger than a lot of things that get us tied up.
Healing Rituals for Pisces
A good healing ritual for a Pisces is to do an energy cleanse. You tend to carry a lot of the emotions and experiences of others in your auric field, as you are a highly compassionate and intuitive soul and pick up on a lot. You should take energy clearing and healing very seriously in your life, and always make sure you are clearing your energy. Burning incense, rosemary, cedar, and juniper is a way to cleanse the body. You can also visualize a white healing light surrounding your body.
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As a writer who really pays attention to word meanings, something that can be a bit frustrating about our culture is the fact that based on whatever is popular at the time, folks will just up and change the original definitions of words to suit a particular agenda or whim — and the word “platonic” 1000 percent fits into this category. And perhaps that’s why we seem to continue to go in circles about whether or not people of the opposite sex can (and should) be friends and what that even can (and should) look like.
Let’s talk about it for a bit. Because as a word-literal type of individual, while again, I absolutely believe that men and women can be friends, at the same time, I think it’s about as rare as a red diamond to truly find yourself in a friendship that is…platonic.
It’s Time (More) Folks Knew What ‘Platonic’ LITERALLY Means
GiphySo, let's do first things first — let's define what it literally means for something to be platonic. If you go to your favorite search engine and put something along the lines of "What does platonic mean?", the first thing that you're (probably) going to see is a ton of dictionary definitions that say something along the lines of "of, relating to, or being a relationship marked by the absence of romance or sex" (Merriam-Webster), "designating or of a relationship, or love, between a man and a woman that is purely spiritual or intellectual and without sexual activity" (Your Dictionary) and, my personal favorite, "purely spiritual; free from sensual desire, especially in a relationship between two persons of different sexes" (Dictionary). Yeah, bookmark that last one; I'll be circling back.
Keeping this in mind (and please do), where does the word "platonic" actually come from? From what I've researched, the philosopher Plato once penned something entitled "Symposium." In it, he addressed the topic of two people sharing the kind of love that is free of any type of sensual desire, one that is based on divine love alone. An author from the 1800s broke it down this way: "Platonic love meant ideal sympathy; it now means the love of a sentimental young gentleman for a woman he cannot or will not marry." A write-up on Merriam-Webster's site stated that "The term platonic was initially used to mock non-sexual relationships, as it was considered ridiculous to separate love and sex, but eventually this connotation faded away leaving us with today's notion of close friendships." Yeah, we used to live in a culture where love and sex were not separated. Hmph, that's another article for another time, though (check out "We Should Really Rethink The Term' Casual Sex'").
Anyway, as with many things (especially in our culture), the word "platonic" is kind of used in "broad strokes" these days (bromances, female friendships, etc.). However, because there continues to be this forever discussion — and oftentimes debate — about whether or not men and women can be "just friends," I'm going to tackle this topic strictly from that angle — from the place where platonic actually originated.
You ready?
Yes, Men and Women Can Be Just Friends. But…
GiphyAt this stage in my life, I'm pretty sure that I have more male friends than female ones. There are layers of reasons why, yet I think a huge one is because I like the balance that masculinity brings to my femininity (especially as I'm learning to embrace different aspects of my femininity, intentionally even more). And while every single one of my male friends is respectful and is a super safe space in my world on every single level that I can imagine (and have been for years now), there are probably only a couple who I would say 100 percent qualify as being…trulyplatonic.
Why would I say that? Well, I'll illustrate this point with something that one of my male friends once said to me. He's super cute. He can sing his ass off (and definitely has one of my favorite speaking voices). People see us out together often, and some have told us that they assume that we've had something going on at some point. Anyway, after hearing someone share their theory about us, I told it to him.
Me: "I told him, 'He's my brother. We would never mess around.'"
My Friend: "Correction, you are like a sister. You are not my sister, though. Under the right conditions, you could still get it."
When I shared that exchange with another male friend of mine, he basically cosigned on the sentiment: "Shellie, I have never approached you like that because I really respect you. I want to be good for you for the rest of our lives." (That reminds me: check out "Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?" when you get a chance.)
Then I went to one more guy homie and ran both statements by him: "Girl, yeah. If I didn't want to keep you in my life long-term, I would've tried to holla a long time ago!" And he and I have been friends for almost 20 years at this point. When did he get around to telling me this? Eh, maybe two years ago. LOL.
So, my takeaway from all of these "for real?!" exchanges is even though men and women can be just friends, there is a certain level of intention, self-control, and ability to see into the future (on some level) that must go into account — because, just because something more-than-friends-like may not have gone down, that doesn't mean there isn't a "dormant seed" lying around somewhere…whether it's one-sided or on both sides of the friendship dynamic.
As you can see, I just provided you with three instances where the male friends in my life; we've had nothing sexual or even physically intimate beyond a hug when we greet each other in nature — although things aren't exactly platonic if there is some sort of attraction or sexual/romantic curiosity that simply never got explored. Because again, according to Plato, a platonic relationship is free from all of that kind of…tension — or possibilities. Zero. Nada. Zilch.
And now you probably get why I entitled this article in the way that I did…right? I mean, just think about it — out of your male friendships, where is there NO sensual desire or dormant romantic interest…on your side and/or on his? If you're not sure about "his"…have you ever asked him? Or them? Because again, once I really let the definition of platonic sink in, I think maybe two guys in my life totally fit the bill.
This brings me to my next point.
Are You Platonic? Or Are You Friend-Zoning?
GiphyNow that you know that probably 70 percent of the people you know (both online and off) have been using the true meaning of platonic all the way wrong, let’s go about deeper: when it comes to your friendships with men, are they genuinely platonic or…is it more like you’re friend-zoning them?
A few years ago, I penned an article on the topic entitled, “Before You 'Friend Zone' Someone, Read This.” If you’re skimming this on your lunch break, I’ll summarize friend-zoning as knowing that a guy has so-much-more-than-platonic feelings for you, yet because you basically want to keep the benefits of the friendship or even his emotions around, you will string him along on some level.
Personally, I can’t stand friend-zoning. I think it’s selfish, with some sprinkles of manipulation and wasting someone’s time. Don’t agree? How would you feel if a guy was friend-zoning you? (Yeah…exactly.)
This all needs to go on record because, knowing that a guy wants to “take it there” with you (whether sexually or romantically), you not full-on addressing it and/or giving him just enough hope to take you out, listen to all of your stories about other men and give you the attention that you need knowing that he doesn’t have a shot in hell — that is NOT a platonic friendship and honestly, you’re not being a good friend at all. Friends protect each other’s hearts, not abuse them.
A platonic friendship means that you both have no interest in each other, and, as Plato put it, while you may have a strong and solid bond, it’s spiritual love that connects you. And what exactly does that mean? Spiritual love also deserves its own article, yet the gist would be that you recognize there is a purpose in your friendship, yet it’s about wanting what’s best for one another and even helping each other to get there.
For instance, a platonic friend of yours may know that you desire to be married one day, so he has no problem setting you up with a good guy in his life. And if things go well, he would have no problem standing up as your own best man (without feeling like he’s dying inside) because he never saw you beyond anything but a friend. A guy in the friend zone doesn’t move like this; he likes you too much to help you move on with someone else. See the difference?
Why Relationships Should Start Off As NON-PLATONIC Friendships
GiphyBefore I end this with some tips on how to properly care for the few platonic friendships you may actually have, since the use of the word may require a bit of mental reprogramming, I do think we should also address that if you've got a good guy in your life, who right now is a friend and either you've never thought of him in that way or the topic has never come up — he's someone that you may not want to brush off.
What I mean by that is, it's one thing for there to be absolutely no interest in someone vs. never considering it before — and the reason why you might want to give it some thought is because, ask any healthy married couple who's been together for more than five years and I'll bet you my next rent check that they will say that the best relationships are birthed out of friendship (check out "Are You Sure You're Actually FRIENDS With Your Spouse?").
Yeah, just because you've filed someone in the "I see him as a good guy" category, that doesn't automatically mean that y'all's friendship is platonic. For instance, I have a male friend who is fine and I adore on many levels, yet the reason why it would never work on my end is because there are certain relational standards that I have that he does not meet. However, don't get it twisted — I've considered him because, on so many levels, we "fit." So, the mere fact that I ever seriously thought about him on that level means that we are "good friends," yet it's not exactly platonic.
I'm not free of potential sensual desire…I just choose not to act on it. Yet because I get the value of having friendship as the foundation for my own future marriage (should life play out that way), I am wise enough to know that I would've been a fool to not at least…ponder him and the possibilities.
So yeah, if there is a male friend in your life that the thought of dating or having sex with him doesn't make you want to throw up in your mouth, there's a pretty good chance that it's not a classic platonic dynamic — and you might want to consider if it could/should go to the next level — if not immediately, eventually. Because there's a pretty good chance that if you are thinking that way, he probably is as well.
Protect Your Genuine Platonic Friendship(s) At All Costs
GiphyLet me end this with how one of my platonic friendships rolls. We both think that the other is attractive, yet neither of us is attracted. We both give each other opposite-sex insights. We both have said that the mere thought of dating each other makes our noses turn up like there’s an odor in the air. And even when I try to imagine us together, my mind goes blank. I love, love, LOVE this man — oh, but it is absolutely nothing more than platonic — and he feels the same way. It’s as close to familial love without being blood relationships. It’s a rare dynamic, and that is what makes it so special. There is definitely a spiritual type of love there; no more, no less.
If you’ve got someone in your life who you feel the same way about (again, it’s got to be mutual; he must feel that way, too), you’ve got a gem of a situation going on because there is nothing like having the kind of friendship where you and a guy can hang out, exchange perspectives and thoroughly enjoy each other’s company, knowing that’s all it is and will ever be. Things will never get weird. No one’s feelings are gonna get hurt (from the whole friend-zoning thing). You don’t have to walk on eggshells. You can just be.
And that’s why I’m all for platonic friendships. And listen, if you’re blessed enough to have even one in your lifetime, be fiercely protective of it. Don’t take it for granted. Nurture it in a way that your male friend needs (because it probably won’t be the exact same as your female friendships). Y’all, platonic friendships are so bomb because, if it’s honored and protected correctly, it’s the one male friend that you can probably keep for life because even your romantic partner will not find it to be a (true) threat — hell, they honestly could probably end up becoming (some level of) friends with your platonic homie as well.
______
I hope that I broke this all down enough to where, when you decide to use a word to describe your opposite-sex friendships, perhaps you will pause and ask yourself, “Wait, is this a platonic friend or a good or close friend?” Because the clearer you are on the differences, the easier it will be to know how to maintain your friendship — and feel about your friend. Feel me? Cool.
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