I don’t know about you, but there have been dozens of times (at least) when I’ve heard that when it comes to narrowing down what beauty products I should use, “If you can’t eat it, don’t apply it.”
Although I do think that there should be a bit of nuance that’s applied to that type of resolve, I must admit that I do get the overall point because, when you’re trying to give your skin the best possible pampering and care, the less chemicals that you apply, ultimately, the better. Plus, there are so many things that are even in our own refrigerators that can make our skin look radiantly flawless.
10 of those things are listed down below. And although each of them can benefit you, health-wise, in a myriad of different ways, today we’re going to solely focus on how all of them can be relied upon to get your skin into the kind of condition that you’ve always wanted it to be.
1. Coconut Water Serum
Unsplash
If you want to get a bit more potassium or antioxidants in your system, coconut water can make that happen. Since potassium is something that helps to keep hydration in your skin and antioxidants are awesome at slowing down the signs of aging, these are already two wonderful reasons to consume coconut water consistently. Aside from that, coconut water is also good for your skin because it contains antimicrobial properties that help to prevent breakouts, plus, it is a solid source of vitamin C which helps to boost collagen production so that your skin has more elasticity.
Wanna hydrate your skin from the outside in? Check out this Coconut Water and Jojoba Oil recipehere.
2. Papaya Masks
Getty Images
A fruit that also contains a lot of vitamin C and antioxidants is papaya. It also has an impressive amount of Vitamin A in it which is good to know becausevitamin A is a nutrient that can help reduce skin sagging, decrease hyperpigmentation, and even soothe the symptoms that are associated with psoriasis. Since papaya features properties that also fight inflammation, it can help to speed up the healing process of pimples and, if you’re looking forfree radicals to stay far away from your skin, papaya can do that for you as well.
Looking for a gentle way to exfoliate your skin while soothing any skin irritation that you may have at the same time? Check out this DIY Papaya Maskhere.
3. Bone Broth
Unsplash
I am someone who enjoys cooking withbone broth. If you’ve always wondered exactly what it is, bone broth is simply the nutrients that come from animal bones after they’ve been soaking in water for a long period of time.Since bone broth is packed with everything from protein and calcium to magnesium and amino acids, it’s definitely something that can give your skin a boost of health from the inside out. Specifically, the amino acids in bone broth help to reduce inflammation and help you get a good night’s rest (which is paramount as far as achieving glowing skin is concerned).
Also,the collagen that’s in bone broth can help to make your skin firmer and more youthful-looking. So, if you want to proactively help out your skin, cook with bone broth more often. Within a matter of weeks, you should notice a difference.
4. Black Cumin Seed Oil Cleanser
Getty Images
I ain’t got not one lie to tell you — when it comes to something that is holistically beneficial for your health, black cumin seed oil is that one. So much, in fact, that there are several articles out in cyberspace (like this onehere) that list over 100 ways that it can do wonders for your overall health and well-being. Your skin will adore this particular oil becauseit contains properties that fight acne, treat psoriasis and eczema, andhelp to dissolve warts. Also, this oil contains antibacterial and antiviral properties that help to keep your skin healthy, in general.
If you’re looking for an all-natural way to deeply cleanse your skin, black cumin seed oil can certainly be of great assistance. You can read more about why and how by goinghere.
5. Watermelon Skin Toner
Getty Images
On the palate tip, few things make me happier than cubes of watermelon (when it’s in season, which is typicallybetween May and September). Since it consists of92 percent water, you know that watermelon is going to hydrate your skin — plus, the vitamin C that’s in it will do a good job of increasing your skin’s collagen production. Some other great things about watermelon (as far as your skin is concerned) is ithelps to reduce inflammation and oxidative stress and it can evenhelp to even out your skin tone.
A super refreshing way to tone and tighten your skin is to use a toner that has watermelon in it. A quick and easy recipe that will help you to do just that is locatedhere.
6. Hemp Milk Soap
Unsplash
At the end of the day, hemp milk is a milk alternative that is made by mixing water and seeds from the Cannabis sativa plant (yes, the plant that makes weed) together. Since there are a lot of fatty acids in hemp milk, that automatically makes it “skin worthy” because fatty acids help to hydrate your skin, improve the texture of your skin, and reverse some of the environmental damage that your skin may be experiencing. Since there are also vitamins A, D, and E in hemp milk, that makes it beneficial for your skin as well because vitamin A can help to unclog your pores, vitamin D can help to cultivate new skin cells, and vitamin E can help to smooth out the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.
If you’re looking for a way to soothe your entire body with hemp milk, there’s a cool (albeit ingredient-rich) recipe for how to make hemp milk soaphere.
7. Tomato Paste Mask
Unsplash
It’s not that I don’t like tomatoes, it’s just that…if I go months without eating one, I don’t really notice. I wish that wasn’t the case too becausetomatoes are a good source of fiber, folate, Vitamin C, beta-carotene, and potassium.Your skin needs beta-carotene because it’s an antioxidant that helps to protect it from UV damage and it reduces the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles that you might have. Some other benefits that come withusing tomatoes for your skin are they reduce skin inflammation, boost collagen production, help to prevent cellular damage and they work well as a skin exfoliant.
So long as your skin isn’t super sensitive (because there is a fair amount of acid that’s in this particular fruit), it will be so happy that you’ve given it a face mask that has tomatoes as one of its main ingredients. StyleCraze has many for you to choose from. Gohere to check ‘em all out.
8. Fig Face Polish
Unsplash
If you’ve always wondered whatthe difference is between a fig and a date, let’s get free today. Although they both are fruits, figs contain more calcium, aren’t as sweet or sticky and they also have fewer wrinkles than dates do. On the skin health tip, figs contain fiber which helps you to stay regular which can help to detox your system and prevent breakouts.Figs also contain nutrients that can help to speed up the healing process of symptoms that are associated with dermatitis and eczema.
If you’re looking for something that will deeply hydrate and moisturize your skin, figs can do that. Figs also have a pretty good reputation when it comes to removing dead skin cells so that your skin’s texture will be soft and smooth; this is partly thanks to the antioxidants that are in them.
Ready for your skin to have a brilliant glow? Check out this fig face polish recipehere.
9. Aloe Vera and Honey Facials
Getty Images
There was actually a season in my life when I used todrink Aloe vera juice. Although I preferred to mix it with juice, I must admit that I could tell that it was good for me when it came tomy digestive system. I’m pretty sure that my skin enjoyed it as well, seeing that Aloe vera, internally, also helps to hydrate skin and keep it well-moisturized. If you actually use the gel on your skin,it can help to heal inflammatory acne, speed up the healing process of eczema and psoriasis symptoms and it can even assist withminimizing the appearance of pores.
As far as honey and your skin go, it’s dope because the properties in it will help to treat issues like acne, eczema, and psoriasis, it can soften the appearance of acne scars and it can even brighten your complexion over time.
If you’re someone who is all about DIY facials, this DIY Aloe & Honey Face Mask (here) will absolutely get you right.
10. Zinc Gel for Glass Skin
Unsplash
A mineral that your skin definitely needs you to have in your system on a consistent basis is zinc. Studies have proven that zinc can do everything for your skin fromhelping to prevent and heal acne and providing it with protection from the sun tosoothing the symptoms that are associated with eczema and rosacea andhelping to repair DNA damage that could lead to signs of aging. Zinc-enriched foods that can help you to receive these perks internally includelamb, lentils,pecans, shiitake mushrooms, and fortified cereals.
Something else that is high in zinc — chia seeds. That said, if you like the look thatglass skin provides, you can actually make a homemade gel that can help you achieve that look. The instructions that will help you to do so are locatedhere.
____
All of these are edible ways to achieve beautiful skin, whether you eat them or apply them.
Give them a shot. They’re delicious (inside) and easy (outside) ways to achieve your skin goals without any of the sometimes expensive, chemical-filled drama that comes with a lot of these commercial brands out here. And that’s just the truth.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by DragonImages/Getty Images
RELATED
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Leon Bennett/WireImage
Thinking about them kinda-sorta inspired this piece because they caused me to reflect on the times when some of my clients have come to me, semi-freaking out, and it was because their thoughts about someone had gone beyond “Hey, she’s pretty” or “Hey, he looks good.” Instead, they were starting to fantasize about certain folks, and they weren’t sure what to do about it, especially when some of those fantasies were transpiring while they were engaging in sex with someone else.
You know, it’s been reported that somewhere around 50 percent of people do indeed have fantasies about other people while having sex with another person. And that is definitely a high enough number to tackle some things about the topic here.
If you’re someone who fantasizes about other individuals, especially sexually, here’s some intel into why that could be the case, along with when it gets to the point and place where you might want to consider actually doing something about it.
What’s a Fantasy and What Exactly Causes Them?
GiphyWhenever you think of the word “fantasy,” what immediately comes to your mind?
Personally, what I find to be interesting is the fact that the dictionary says that there are actually a lot of things that can be considered a fantasy: your imagination, hallucinations, visions, ingenious inventions, illusions — I mean, there is even a genre of fiction that falls into the fantasy category. However, when it comes to what we’re going to discuss today, a psychological term for fantasy is “an imagined or conjured up sequence fulfilling a psychological need; daydream.”
And yes, before we get to the end of all of this, that definition is going to answer quite a few questions as it pertains to the topic of this particular piece. But first, more about the origin story of fantasies.
Apparently famed neurologist, Sigmund Freud spent some time analyzing fantasies and came to the conclusion that, more than anything else, a fantasy represents something that is either a suppressed urge or desire and when you stop to think about what you imagine, what your visions are, what you may long to invent — that certainly tracks. However, something that you should also keep in mind about fantasies is that, oftentimes, they are rooted in few boundaries and can even go well beyond what is considered to be reality (which is something that is based on facts and truth).
Oh, something else that needs to be kept in mind about fantasies is that they are typically relied on as a mental form of escape from something or someone (bookmark that).
And now that fantasies are more clearly defined, if your immediate question is, “Is it wrong to fantasize?” — no, I certainly don’t think that. What I do believe, based on what a fantasy is, though, is if you are fantasizing a lot about a particular person, place, thing or idea, it would be a good idea to ponder why that is the case — why is that a suppressed desire for you, why are you using that as a mental escape and perhaps, the most important question of all, does your fantasy come with any limits?
Now let’s build on top of this…
Now What Causes Folks to Fantasize About Other People?
GiphyAs I was doing more research on the topic of fantasies, I came across an article entitled, “What Happens In Our Brains When We Fantasize About Someone.” The author of it started the piece out by talking about a cool connection that she made with someone on a plane, only for her to find herself fantasizing about him once they parted ways. As she went deeper into her story, she mentioned a word that definitely needs to be shared here: heuristics.
If you’re not familiar with it, heuristics is simply a mental shortcut. For instance, if you find yourself needing to make a quick decision (check out “Before You Make A Life-Altering Decision, Read This.”), you may rely on heuristics to do it (even if it’s subconsciously). The challenge with that is oftentimes heuristics will only provide you with a limited amount of data and information, and relying only on that could cause you to not make the best choice, if you’re not careful. And boy, when heuristics jump into your fantasy space — well, something that immediately comes to my mind is celebrity culture.
Ain’t it wild how people will be on social media, speaking so confidently, about someone—or someone’s relationship—as if they personally know them (when they absolutely don’t)? I mean, just because someone is attractive or you’ve seen them carry themselves well in an interview or two, that doesn’t automatically mean that they are the ideal person or that they are someone to set your own dating standards by. If you’re not careful, though, heuristics and fantasies may encourage you to think otherwise.
That’s because the combo will try and get your brain to jump to all sorts of conclusions and, if you don’t keep that in check, it could result in you making premature, counterproductive, or even straight-up reckless decisions — because remember, a fantasy tends to be about suppressing an urge or desire.
Honestly, whether you are in a relationship or not, if you are fantasizing about a particular individual, understanding why you are doing that should definitely be explored.
However, if you are with someone and you’re fantasizing about someone else, you really shouldn’t ignore what is transpiring because, although by definition, there’s a good chance that whatever and whomever you are fantasizing about will never come to pass, the fact that it’s taking up some of your mental and emotional space, that needs to be acknowledged. Because if there is something that you want or need, and you seem to believe that your fantasies are better at supplying that for you than the reality of your relationship, why is that?
Let’s keep going…
What Does (or Could) It Mean If You Fantasize About Someone Else During Sex?
GiphyIt’s pretty common that a random song will come to mind whenever I’m writing an article. Today? It was Guy’s “My Fantasy.” Then a sitcom did — King of Queens, and the episode when Doug and Carrie were talking about his sexual fantasies. The song is about images that the fellas randomly have about beautiful women. The episode was about Carrie wanting to dictate to Doug what and whom he could fantasize about because some of his sexual fantasies made her feel uncomfortable or intimidated.
And both of these are a pretty solid intro into whether there is something wrong with sexually fantasizing about someone, especially while having sex with someone else. Well, before getting into all of that, I think another article that I read on the topic brings up a pretty good point — that it’s important to think about where your fantasies are coming from: your imagination, things you see on social media, porn that you may have watched, people who you actually know…and if it’s the latter, is it someone from your past or someone from your present?
Yeah, knowing the source of your fantasies can definitely help you to understand how “deep” into your fantasies you might be.
What I mean by that is, seeing a beautiful man one time and randomly thinking about what it would be like to have sex with him on some beach vacation is quite different than constantly thinking about your ex, the sex you used to have with him and then fantasizing about it For one thing, the beautiful guy, you will probably never have access to. That ex, though? Well, at the very least, that is a bit more realistic, right?
Then there’s the fact that, again, a fantasy is a suppressed urge or desire. When it comes to the beautiful man, is it his looks that you long for, or is it something deeper? And that ex of yours? Lawd, now why, when you have your own man in your own bed, is your ex “scratching some sort of itch”? Because we all know what they say — “he’s your ex for a reason,” so why is he creeping up into your intimacy space now that the relationship is over? Is something unresolved?
Are there sexual needs that he met that your current partner isn’t (check out “You Love Him. You Prefer Sex With Your Ex. What Should You Do?”)? Is something currently transpiring in your current relationship that you are using fantasies about your ex to escape from?
You see, although when it comes to the topic of fantasizing about others when you’re having sex with someone else might seem like the a cut-and-dried, “Don’t do it, end of discussion” — as someone who works with couples for a living, I think the bigger concern isn’t if another guy comes into your mind during sex with your partner…it’s more about WHY is that happening to begin with. Because if you need to escape from where you are, if you can’t be present with your partner, something is definitely up.
When Should You Be Concerned About the Fantasies You Are Having?
GiphyDuring the last several months of breaking up (because we all know that sometimes breaking up is a process) with the last boyfriend whom I will have in this lifetime, I recall fantasizing about other people while having sex with him. It’s because I really wasn’t attracted to or interested in him, sexually, anymore — but I was a bit fearful of what it would mean to let the entire relationship go.
And boy, is that a huge red flag because I wasn’t fantasizing about some random famous person one time during sex — I was relying on images, my imagination, and previous experiences with other people to literally get me through the act. NOT. GOOD.
Y’all, one of the greatest and most profound forms of communication and connection between two people is sexual intimacy, and so, when it transpires, it really should only be about the two of them. That said, should you freak out over a thought about someone who creeps up into your mind every once in a while? Chile, more people have that happen than they will ever admit out loud.
On the other hand, should you worry if you’re like I was? I’ll put it this way — you should definitely be concerned because the last thing that you should be feeling during sex with someone is like you are suppressing what you need and/or that you want to escape from the moments that you are experiencing with them.
And yet, if that is indeed the case, though, what should you do?
Start with doing some sex journaling. Write down your fantasies, the sources of them, and why you are leaning on them in this season (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”). If they are tied to unrealistic situations, be real with yourself about that. If they are rooted in potential possibilities, do some journaling about how much you are “feeding into” that reality and what you think would be the wisest way to move forward, both for your sake as well as your relationship.
Talk to your partner. Each relationship is different, and so, while I’m not going to recommend that everyone just blurt out that they’ve been thinking about having sex with their co-worker or college sweetheart while having sex with their partner, I do think that the suppressed urges and desires (in general) should be mentioned. Sometimes, fantasies are birthed out of boredom (check out “If You're Not Having Great Sex, This Is (Probably) Why” and “Common Sex Problems Couples Have (& How To Fix 'Em)”) and doing something like creating a sex bucket list (check out “This Is How To Create The Best Kind Of ‘Sex Bucket List’”) can breathe new life into your bedroom.
Plus, sharing some of your deepest thoughts, feelings, and needs (in a kind, thoughtful, and mature way) can cultivate more emotional intimacy with your partner, and that can definitely be a good thing.
Consider seeing a sex therapist. If, after doing both of these things, the fantasies seem to be getting stronger and louder, you might need to make an appointment with a reputable sex therapist (check out “Have You Ever Wondered If You Should See A Sex Therapist?”). They may be able to help you to “connect some dots” about what’s going on that you wouldn’t have considered without their help, because sex therapists are trained in helping individuals sort out the mental and emotional sides of intimacy, not just the physical ones.
____
Are fantasies bad? They aren’t. However, when it comes to sexual ones, a quote by Benjamin Franklin absolutely comes to mind: “If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins.”
And that, right there, should be a guiding message for how you should process the fantasies that you do have.
Amen? Sho’ you right.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Giphy