If you frequent this site a lot—and hopefully, you do—you can certainly vouch for the fact that we talk about orgasms. A LOT. Off the top of my head, we've published "WTF Is A Blended Orgasm?", "10 Unexpected Ways To Intensify Your Orgasm", "This Is How To Master The Female Orgasm", "10 Things You Didn't Know About The Male And Female Orgasm" and "4 Hit It From The Back Moves That Are Bound To Get You To Orgasm"—and that's just for starters!
Are we obsessed? Eh, maybe a little. I mean, who doesn't enjoy having an orgasm?! But aside from the close-to-indescribable rush of pleasure that orgasms bring, there is also plenty of research and documentation that they do wonders for our health and well-being too. How?
Orgasms relieve stress, increase blood circulation, help to regulate your period, lessen pain (including headaches), strengthen your immune system, put you in a better mood, make you smarter—I mean, really…need I go on?
So, when I happened to notice that July 31 is National Orgasm Day, of course, I had to give a day that is so important to us—and hopefully to you—a big ole' shout out! When you think of all of the holidays and other special days of observance that come up in a 365-day cycle, be honest. Can you think of any other day (shy of your birthday) that you'd want to take out the time to celebrate more? Yeah, me neither. If you'd like to make this particular orgasm day the best one yet, here are some things that will literally turn your climaxes into the gift that just keeps on givin'.
1. Workout for 30-45 Minutes
Although I don't live in the gym, some of my closest friends do, and a few of them are big fans of post-sex coitus. They claim that it provides a high like no other (I did some Googling and there are several articles that actually cosign on that). At the same time, there are also articles that give rave reviews when it comes to getting a little cardio in on the front-end as well. The feel-good hormones endorphins, dopamine and oxytocin that come from exercising will intensify during sex, the increased blood flow from the workout will make your orgasms stronger, and since exercising can improve flexibility, it'll be easier to get into all of those sex positions that help you to orgasm the easiest too.
So yeah, if you didn't already workout this morning, try and get a half-hour or so in before heading home. That, combined with a warm shower (or even some shower sex), can take your climaxes totally to the next level!
2. Have a Fresh Berry Salad
If you're hungry but you're not sure what you want, this is the perfect time of year to enjoy a fresh salad; preferably one with some spinach and berries on it. Spinach, because the manganese that's in it will increase your estrogen levels, while the zinc that it contains will boost up your sex drive. Berries, because strawberries contain vitamin C, zinc, and iron to give you more stamina, blueberries trigger dopamine in your system so that you'll feel more pleasure, and raspberries because they've got Vitamin E in them. Vitamin E has the nickname "the sex vitamin" because of its uncanny ability to help us to strengthen our sexual performance.
3. Enjoy an Orgasm Cocktail
If you want a technical breakdown for why and how alcohol makes you horny, Maxim broke it all down pretty well. And, if your favorite alcoholic beverage of choice is wine, word on the street is the scent of Zinfandel or Pinot Noir is what will get you all hot 'n bothered, while the aroma of champagne or Moscato will do a man in.
Still, I figured that in honor of National Orgasm Day, why not toast one another and/or the sex you're about to have with a couple of Screaming Orgasm Cocktails? It's basically a combination of vodka, Irish cream and coffee liqueur that gets the name because of how good it tastes. But if somehow, even after reading through all of this, I still can't convince you to engage in a couple of romps, at least you can make this drink and not be lying when you say, "Yep. I had an orgasm last night" while talking to one of your girls tomorrow.
4. Affirm Your Partner
There's no question that the biggest erogenous zone that we have is our brain. After all, how could any of us become sexually stimulated without it? That's why you should never underestimate how much you and your partner need to feel positive, connected and affirmed by one another before, during and even after coitus goes down.
Take a few moments to talk about what you enjoy about one another and even what some of your fantasies are. Eye contact, heartfelt sentiments and honest compliments are some of the most slept-on acts of foreplay that there is.
5. Go Someplace Other than Your Bed
I'm known to ask people I know (and even people I don't know) random questions. One that I asked semi-recently is what can cause a person to get bored in the bedroom. Something that seemed to be a general consensus is "always having sex in the bed". When I asked where they'd prefer to go in order to switch things up, many said the kitchen, backyard or on the stairs.
Hey, I'm not saying that you should automatically aim for those locations. What I am saying is if the bed is always the go-to, at least try the couch or the floor. When it comes to good sex, variety is always key.
6. Incorporate a Little Honey
Back when I was sexually active, a favorite sex addition of mine was honey. I liked it for what I'm assuming are pretty obvious reasons, but apparently it was doing more for my bedroom action than I thought! There is a mineral in honey called boron that 1) raises testosterone levels in men and 2) increases men and women's libidos and can help orgasms to last longer.
So yeah, having some honey on your bed stand certainly can't hurt either.I'm sure you don't need me to tell you how to make honey work in your favor, but if you'd like an edible massage recipe that's got honey as one of its ingredients, you can find one here.
7. Play Musical Chairs (for Him)
As far as a sexual position that your man will be totally in love with, try your own sex twist to musical chairs. Maybe put on a throwback like Montell Jordan's "Let's Ride" (who remembers that?), do a quick little dance and then sit him down on a chair. Put your legs over his shoulders and, well, you get it. The visuals alone will be sure to do wonders and the deep penetration makes this a male orgasm favorite!
8. Get in the Missionary with a Pillow Underneath (for You)
The missionary position is a classic—always has been and always will be. I think for us, we like it a lot because it's comfortable, it's intimate (there's eye-to-eye contact that way), and it's a great way to enhance clitoral and G-spot stimulation. The best way to up the chances of this particular sex position giving you an orgasm is by putting some pillows underneath your butt. Your partner's access will be easier and deeper. And you know what that means.
9. Spell “Coconut”
If you ain't neva had sex with a Gemini before, you'd betta ask somebody. I am a proud card-carrying one. I've also had sex with one. There are no words (le sigh). Anyway, when all of the coconut memes went viral last month, personally, I found it to be quite fitting. Why not, during the month of June, should a new hot sex trend be on everyone's lips?
If you happened to miss it, the tip is to ride cowgirl while slowly spelling out the word "coconut" with your hips. Although the memes were jokes more than anything else, I know some folks who actually attempted it. Chile, they think that the Kenyan women who got the viral thing started in the first place were truly onto something, whether they realized it or not. And, since the cowgirl position is one of the praised positions for achieving an orgasm, why not give it a shot?
10. Set Your Sights on a Multiple Orgasm
What better day to have a multiple orgasm—or at least try to—than on National Orgasm Day? The way to achieve these is by making sure you are truly at ease with your partner, extending foreplay, doing some deep breathing (and edging) and increasing your stamina.
For more of a breakdown, "How to Have Multiple Orgasms: Tips and Techniques for Better Pleasure" is an enlightening read. But more than anything, purpose in your mind to enjoy yourself. While orgasms should be a regular occurrence, National Orgasm Day only comes around once a year. Make sure to make it totally worth you—and y'all's—while!
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
10 Secrets To Feeling Super Sexy (When You Don't)
What GROWN Women Consider Great Sex To Be
Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP
My First Orgasm Changed Everything I Thought I Knew About Sex
Feature image by Getty Images
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- National Orgasm Day - Wikipedia ›
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So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Then there were those who gave up their zip code altogether and found a permanent home in the skies. After years spent recruiting students for a university, Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare became a full-time travel influencer and founded her travel company, Shakespeare Agency. And she's not alone.
These stories mirror the experiences of women across the world. For millions, the pandemic induced a seismic shift in priorities and desires. Corporate careers that were once hailed as the ultimate “I made it” moment in one's career were pushed to the back burner as women quit their jobs in search of a more self-fulfilling purpose.
xoNecole spoke to these three Black women who used the pandemic as a springboard to make their wildest dreams a reality, the lessons they learned, and posed the question of whether they’ll ever return to cubicle life.
Answers have been edited for context and length.
xoNecole: How did the pandemic lead to you leaving the cubicle?
Randi: I was becoming stagnant. I was working in mortgage and banking but I felt like my personality was too big for that job! From there, I transitioned to radio but was laid off during the pandemic. That’s what made me go full throttle with entrepreneurship.
Gabrielle: I moved around a lot for work. Five times over a span of seven years. I knew I needed a break because I had experienced so much. So, I just quit one day. Effective immediately. I didn’t know what I was going to do, I just knew I needed a break and to just regroup.
Lisa-Gaye: I was working in recruiting at a university and my dream job just kind of fell into my lap! But, I never got to fully enjoy it before the world shut down in March [2020] and I was laid off. On top of that, I was stuck in Miami because Jamaica had closed its borders due to the pandemic before I was able to return.
Randi O
xoN: Tell us about your journey after leaving Corporate America.
Randi: I do it all now! I have a podcast, I’m an on-air talent, I act, and I own a public relations company that focuses on social media engagement. It’s all from my network. When you go out and start a business, you can’t just say, “Okay I’m done with Corporate America,” and “Let me do my own thing.” If you don’t build community, if you don’t build a network it's going to be very hard to sustain.
Gabrielle: I realized in New York, there was not a lot to do for Black lesbians and queer folks. We don’t really have dedicated bars and spaces so I started doing events and it took off. I started focusing on my brand, Raw Honey. I opened a co-working space, and I was able to host an NYC Pride event in front of 100,000 people. I hit the ground running with Raw Honey. My events were all women coming to find community and come together with other lesbians and queer folks. I found my purpose in that.
Lisa-Gaye: After being laid off, I wrote out all of my passions and that’s how I came up with [my company] Shakespeare Agency. It was all of the things that I loved to do under one umbrella. The pandemic pulled that out of me. I had a very large social media following, so I pitched to hotels that I would feature them on my blog and social media. This reignited my passion for travel. I took the rest of the year to refocus my brand to focus solely on being a content creator within the travel space.
Gabrielle
xoN: What have you learned about yourself during your time as an entrepreneur?
Randi: [I learned] the importance of my network and community that I created. When I was laid off I was still keeping those relationships with people that I used to work with. So it was easy for me to transition into social media management and I didn’t have to start from scratch.
Gabrielle: The biggest thing I learned about myself was my own personal identity as a Black lesbian and how much I had assimilated into straight and corporate culture and not being myself. Now, I feel comfortable and confident being my authentic self. Now, I'm not sacrificing anything else for my career. I have a full life. I have friends. I have a social life. And when you are happy and have a full quality of life, I feel like [I] can have more longevity in my career.
Lisa-Gaye: [I'm doing] the best that I've ever done. The discipline that I’m building within myself. Nobody is saying, ‘Oh you have to be at work at this time.’ There’s no boss saying, ‘Why are you late?’ But, if I’m laying in bed at 10 a.m. then it's me saying [to myself], 'Okay, Lisa, get up, it's time for you to start working!’ That’s all on me.
xoNecole: What mistakes do you want to help people avoid when leaving Corporate America?
Randi: You have to learn about the highs and lows of entrepreneurship. You have a fast season and a slow season and I started to learn that when you're self-employed the latter season hits hard. Don't get caught up on the lows, just keep going and don't stop. I’m glad I did.
Gabrielle: I think everyone should quit their job and just figure it out for a second. You will discover so much about yourself when you take a second to just focus on you. Your skill set will always be there. You can’t be afraid of what will happen when you bet on yourself.
Lisa-Gaye: When it comes to being an influencer the field is saturated and a lot of people suffer from imposter syndrome. There is nothing wrong with being an imposter but find out how to make it yours, how to make it better. If you go to the store, you see 10 million different brands of bread! But you are choosing the brand that you like because you like that particular flavor.
So be an imposter, but be the best imposter of yourself and add your own flair, your own flavor. Make the better bread. The bread that you want.
Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare
xoNecole: Will you ever return to your 9 to 5?
Randi: I wouldn’t go back to Corporate America. But I don’t mind working under someone. A lot of people try to get into this business saying, “I can't work under anyone.” That’s not necessarily the reason to start a business because you're always going to answer to somebody. Clients, brands, there’s always someone else involved.
Gabrielle: I went back! I really needed a break and I gave myself that. But, I realized I’m a corporate girl, [and] I enjoy the work that I do. I’m good at it and I really missed that side of myself. I have different sides of me and my whole identity is not Raw Honey or my queerness. A big side of me is business and that’s why I love having my career. Now I feel like my best self.
Lisa-Gaye: I really don’t. For right now, I love working for myself. It's gratifying, it's challenging, it's exciting. It’s a big deal for me to say I own my own business. That I am my own boss, and I'm a Black woman doing it.
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Featured image courtesy of Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare
Originally published on February 6, 2023