

Kissing is interesting. When it's a good kiss, there aren't too many other things that tops it. When it (pardon the pun) sucks, there aren't too many things that you hate more. Even as I'm running through the mental rolodex of all of the kisses I've had in my life, I'm willing to bet my next freelance check that, just like I am able to, you can immediately recall the best and worst kiss that you've ever had.
My best kisser is someone I never had sex with. Well, that's not entirely true. One time some oral went down with me being on the receiving end (was that TMI? If so, my bad). Even though his kisses up top and down below (cue in Kelly Rowland and SWV) were clearly memorable, I just wasn't into him enough to go (totally) all the way. As far as the worst kisser goes, long story short, there's a relationship I was in that, while the sex was good, the kissing was HOR-RI-BLE (is that weird?). It eventually got so intolerable that the wackness of it all ultimately became one of the deal breakers for me.
Yeah, kissing is a pretty big deal. It feels good. It's both romantic and erotic. It definitely connects you to another person in a way that no other act can. But there's more to kissing than that. As you're about to see in just a sec, every time you pucker up and get your smooch on, there is so much more going on behind the scenes than you could ever imagine!
The Origin of Kissing Is Kinda Sweet. And Pretty Gross.
Although I'm not sure how true this is, there are several theories floating around that kissing is tied to how birds feed their babies. You know, that they chew up the food and share it directly from their own mouth to the little birdies. Once upon a time, that's how a lot of mothers fed their babies and so the theory is 1) kissing mimics that and 2) whenever our partner kisses us, it taps into the warmth and security we felt when we were young.
Actually, there might be some truth to that since a lot of men who were breastfed grow up to be "breast men" (also due to the warmth and security thing) and guys who want to be literally breastfed as adults is a fetish that is quietly pretty popular.
Kissing Bonds You to Your Partner
Personally, I've never kissed someone who I didn't have some sort of emotional connection with. But even if you have, whether you realize it or not, you are bonding with that individual. That's because kissing triggers the "love hormone" known as oxytocin in your body (and your partner's). It's the hormone that automatically makes you feel closer to someone. That's why some people can experience a great kiss and suddenly think the person they got it from is "the one", even if they just met them.
Kissing Can Totally Alter Your Microbiome
A while back, I wrote an article on here about why I think the term "casual sex" is the ultimate oxymoron. Well, apparently so is casual kissing. I say that because, according to some scientific research, kissing has the ability to alter your microbiome. What's that? In a nutshell, it's your collective genetic material.
Whoa. Definitely something worth pondering before kissing someone you just met or brushing off a kiss you exchanged with some random dude while you were tipsy at a party somewhere (hey, it happens).
Kissing Relieves Menstrual Cramps and Headaches
Is there anything worse than menstrual cramps and headaches? Not much. If you're someone who experiences a lot of either one, kissing more often may be the remedy that you're looking for. Whenever you kiss someone, your body gets a surge of the feel-good hormones oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin throughout its system; that can lead to dilated blood vessels and increased blood flow which can make the pain and pressure of cramps much less. As far as headaches go, because the same feel-good hormones are able to lower stress and your blood pressure, that's why kissing can get rid of the incessant booming in your head as well.
Kissing Reduces Allergy Symptoms
Do you struggle with allergies? Guess what—kissing is a wonderful remedy for that too. No joke. Scientific research also reveals that when you kiss an individual, it is able to reduce allergy-related symptoms that are associated with pollen and dust mites. Also, since allergic reactions are worse when stress levels are high and kissing reduces stress, that's just one more reason why kissing is oh so good for you.
Men Kiss to Arouse Women. Women Kiss to Choose a Partner.
I once read an article entitled "A Man's Kiss Tells You Everything". For the most part, I'd agree with that. But no matter how good a man's kiss may be, I wonder if they know what their subconscious motive is. From what I've read, it's to get a certain amount of sex hormones and proteins into our system so that we'll be more willing to have sex with them.
As for what we hope kissing will accomplish, take a moment to think about this. Suppose you meet a guy who checks off all of your boxes. In fact, the only thing that you can even remotely say is "wrong" with him is that his kisses don't move you. Is that enough to call it quits? (Hey, you already know my vote!) Apparently, for many women, it is because, along with a man's personality and character, his kisses help to determine if he's truly suitable or not.
As for a guy who wants to get some who can't kiss? He can pretty much forget about it. A bad kisser is a total turn-off in every way.
Kissing Can Give You an STD
Not to be a downer or anything, but there is another side to kissing that shouldn't be ignored. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), a whopping two-thirds of people have herpes (whether they realize it or not) and a lot of it isn't being contracted by sexual activity; nope, it's due to kissing. Both herpes simplex virus (HSV) and cytomegalovirus (CMV) are easily spread via swapping spit.
For the record, if your partner has syphilis or HSV-2 and you have some sort of cut or sore in your mouth while you're kissing them, you can get that from them as well. Be careful out there.
Kissing Is Good for Your Self-Esteem
On the surface, it probably makes sense that kissing is a self-esteem booster because if you're kissing someone, it makes you feel desirable. But there's another reason why kissing makes us feel good about ourselves. Research reveals that people with low self-esteem tend to have higher amounts of the stress hormone cortisol in their body. What kissing does is lower cortisol; that, as a direct result, makes you feel better about yourself.
PDA Is More About Ego than Affection
Some people love public displays of affection while others can't stand it. It doesn't really matter, though, because one study says that PDA isn't about love or being obnoxious. Kissing in public is actually more about feeding one's ego; it's about showing other people that you've got a good thing.
To get more specific, men do it to show off while women do it in order to make an ex jealous. Hmph.
The More You Kiss, the Better the Relationship
We've already explored some of the things that oxytocin does. Well, if you want to increase the chances of your man staying faithful, kiss him as often as you possibly can. What's the connection? Something else that research reveals is when a man kisses a woman that he cares about, his oxytocin levels go up, it enhances the brain reward system in his head and makes him want to stay with his partner. How sweet is that?
Kissing Is an Anti-Aging Activity
We all know that Black don't crack. But if you want to be a little more proactive in slowing down the aging process, this is another way that kissing can help you out. Since the act results in us using anywhere between 2-34 facial muscles, kissing is literally like an aerobics exercise for your face (and neck). Also, since exercise is what naturally produces collagen in our bodies and collagen is what keeps our faces looking full and youthful, you can see why kissing is one of the best kept beauty secrets.
Kissing Has TONS of Bacteria in It
If you're a self-professed germaphobe, you're definitely not gonna want to hear this. If you kiss someone (on the mouth and even more if it's in the mouth) for 10 seconds, you'll already be getting 80 billion bacteria from them. Not that all bacteria is bad (I'll break that down in a minute) and, I've kissed my fair share and I'm still alive, so that doesn't mean that kissing is the death of you. But still, billions and billions of bacteria coming into your system gives you one more reason to be careful about who you let kiss you.
Kissing Is Good for Your Teeth
One of the ways that having someone else's bacteria (and spit) in your mouth is a good thing is it could prevent you from getting cavities. The logic is the combo of the two helps to wash away the decay-causing germs and bacteria that's probably already chillin' in on your teeth and gums.
Kissing Is Tied to Men’s Longevity
Women typically live longer than men do. That's no shocker. However, what just may surprise you is one study revealed that when husbands kiss their wives every morning, they end up living five years longer than the ones who don't; especially if it's a long and passionate French kiss.
Kissing Is a Bit of a Contract
One more. Have you ever wondered why couples kiss at the end of their wedding ceremony? While on the surface, it might simply seem like a sweet and romantic thing to do, it actually dates back to an ancient Roman tradition that signified the signing of a contract.
So, there's a business side to kissing, huh? Wow. Who knew?
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On her debut album,CTRL,SZA crooned about her desire to be a “Normal Girl.” Now, nearly eight years since its release, her Not Beauty line represents her commitment to existing outside of traditional beauty norms.
The singer whose real name is Solána Imani Rowe first teased the idea of a lip gloss line during Super Bowl LIX in February, noting that the release would be happening “very shortly.” Not Beauty debuted simultaneously with the Grand National Tour, which she co-headlines with Kendrick Lamar, in Minneapolis on April 19.
Each Not Beauty pop-up would offer fans the opportunity to purchase the glosses, learn more about the brand, and have the opportunity to meet the superstar in the flesh regardless of their ticket status.
During the Los Angeles tour stop, which spanned three dates on May 21, May 23, with the finale on May 24, xoNecole had the opportunity to test out the glosses included in this soft launch, as SZA revealed in a statement that "this is just the start of other lip products, including plans to launch stains, liners, and creams all inspired by SZA's “infamous layered lip combinations.”
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So, what is included in the first Not Beauty launch?
The current Not Beauty products available are lip glosses that come in three shades: In the Flesh, Strawberry Jelly, and Quartz.
During my visit to the first LA Not Beauty pop-up activation, I not only had the chance to purchase all three glosses but also took a peek inside the blow-up log tent. Inside, fans got to experience SZA’s love for nature and her fascination with bugs, which are prominently featured in her performances for this tour. At one point, she even had human preying mantis prancing across the stage y'all.
There were blow-up photos of the beauty that is SZA for fans (myself included) to take photos, but in wooden-like tree trunks were a deeper dive into some of the ingredients featured in her products and their benefits.
For example, the glosses feature Hi-Shine Lip Jelly and Shea Butter as key ingredients and some of the listed benefits included are:
- Shea Butter - “A powerhouse ingredient, offering both functional and nourishing benefits.”
- Hi-Shine Lip Jelly (featured in the In the Flesh shade) - “Formula glides on with perfect adhesion to the lips without stickiness).
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What are in the products?
Featured in an orange package, with images of a bug and flower on the side, the back of the box reads: “It’s NOT BEAUTY, it just works. Developed by Solána “SZA” Rowe.
As someone who never leaves home without a good lip gloss, I loved how compact the wood panel packaging is. Perfect to slip into my purse, or in the case of the show at SoFi Stadium, into my pocket when I’m not carrying a bag.
Because I’m a sucker for a good black and brown lip liner and clear gloss combo, I decided to wear the Quartz flavor on night one of the Grand National Tour LA stop, and it did not disappoint. I’ll admit, it’s light weight feel made me nervous because it felt like there was nothing on my lips. However, when I checked my lips in my compact mirror several times throughout the night, I was shocked to find that my gloss was still intact. I only reapplied once out of the habit of looking cute and applying my gloss, but not necessity.
Here are some of the ingredients featured, but not limited to, in the Quartz flavor.
- Polyisoubutene
- Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea)Butter
- Ricinus Communis (Castor) Seed Oil
- Mentha Piperita (Peppermint) Oil
- Tocopherol
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Lip prep
I’m a simple girl who loves to stay true to her roots. So ahead of the show, I stopped by a local Inglewood Beauty Supply store and grabbed a Black and Brown shade lip pencil for just under $2 a piece.
Shading the outline of my lips with the black pencil first, I used the brown to lightly fill the inside of my lips before applying my Quartz Not Beauty shade gloss.
How to apply
There’s truly no right or wrong way to apply lip gloss (in my opinion), with this being a brush applicator sort of product, I simply untwisted the top and swiped the gloss around my top and bottom lip generously.
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Results
Again, my Not Beauty Quartz product stayed on my lips from the start of the show, which began with a fire DJ set from LA’s very own, Mustard, to the conclusion when Kendrick and SZA reunited on stage to send us home to their duet, “luther,” featured on the rapper's GNX album.
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12 Body Care Tips For Smooth, Radiant Skin This Swimsuit Season
Right when I’m about 4-6 weeks out from it officially being summer (which happens during the third week of June), something that I am prone to do is scan the internet for a few Black women to inspire me when it comes to achieving flawless summer skin.
This year, the post that you see below is someone who definitely caused my eyes to get wide. And although I know that some of what I’m viewing is good ole’ genetics, her skin is still so radiant and impactful that it has 1000 percent inspired me to kick my own skincare routine into overdrive.
And what am I doing to cause my skin to glow in the summer sun? The following 12 tips are definitely getting me right — and I am beyond certain that they can and will do the same for you, too.
1. Use African Net Sponges
I don’t know what freakin’ took me so long to get onto the African net sponge game — oh, but I’m here now and a sistah ain’t goin’ nowhere! The main thing that got me into them is because I was sick of trying to find ways to deep cleanse my back. African net sponges are bomb in this way because they are long enough to reach ever part of my back, they are made from a fabric that deeply exfoliates without overdoing it, they last longer than loofahs and they don’t trap as many bacteria and gunk in them; they lather up well and rinse clean afterwards. I absolutely adore them.
So, if you want to get rid of those stubborn dead skin cells in hard to reach places, so that your skin will glow, wash with African net sponges. You won’t regret using them — not one bit.
2. Wash with Salicylic Acid
So many of us were sold the dream that once we hit our mid-20s (shoot, at the latest), acne would cease to be (so much of) an issue. Chile, I am good ‘n grown and I still have to deal with breakouts on my back sometimes. SMDH. Something that has helped me out, tremendously though, is using a body wash that is made with salicylic acid. Your skin will like this acid because it exfoliates, unclogs pores, reduces inflammation and dissolves dead skin cells over time. The main thing to keep in mind with salicylic acid, is too much of a good thing can be problematic and, with it, it can dry your skin out, if you’re not careful.
That said, I’ve had zero issues with KaraPil’s Exfoliating Body Wash with Salicylic Acid. In fact, it prides itself in being a wash that doesn’t dry out your skin.
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3. Exfoliate with Honey and Yogurt
I’m going to provide a couple of more tips on exfoliating because if you want your skin to be super swimwear ready, that is absolutely one of the best things to do. Exfoliation helps to improve the quality of your skin; it makes it easier for your skin to absorb moisturizing products; it breaks up dead skin cells; it helps to boost collagen production and it can prevent your skin from looking dry and dull. As far as all-natural exfoliants go, consider applying a mixture of honey and plain yogurt.
Honey is gentle yet powerful when it comes to killing bacteria, soothing inflammation and pulling moisture from the air into your skin (which is what a humectant does). Yogurt has lactic acid in it which is wonderful when it comes to softening the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, removing dead skin cells and lightening acne scars. Yogurt also works thanks to its ability to tone your skin, protect it from sun damage and brighten in as well. You can check out a super easy yogurt and honey skin recipe here.
4. Do Some Dry Brushing Too
Wanna super exfoliate your skin? Dry brush. Want to remove toxins from your system? Dry brush. Looking for a way to reduce the appearance of cellulite? You already know what I’m gonna say — dry brush your body. It really is kind of wild that with all of the ways that dry brushing can help with skin issues, more people don’t do it (or do it consistently). Anyway, if this was a reminder for you to dry brush more often or get a dry brush, period — there ya go.
5. Rub on Some Bakuchi Oil
Where is time going that it’s been almost two years since I wrote “Plum Oil Is The Oil You Should Ease Into The Fall Season With” for the site? And although I continue to be a huge fan of it, the last time that I ordered some, the merchant sent me some bakuchi oil instead. I was irritated at first; however, the drama of shipping the product back motivated me to give it a try — I’m glad that I did.
Since I like to use oils to “seal my skin” more than anything else, I immediately noticed how light of an oil bakuchi oil is. Then I did some research and discovered that it contains potent anti-inflammatory properties and it can help to relieve itching and hyperpigmentation (when used regularly) too. So, if you want to create a natural glow with your skin, bakuchi can make it happen without a lot of greasiness or residue (which is always a win).
6. Get a Back Facial
At the time that I am writing this, I just made an appointment to get a back facial for the following day. My aesthetician and I decided that in order for my back to remain as clear as possible, I should get one at the turn of every season (for times a year). I totally dig it too because she is able to safely make extractions, deep cleanse my back and treat any acne scars with products that, because I’m not a professional, I can’t get my hands on. Yeah, unless your skin is absolutely flawless, never go into the season of backless dresses and bikinis without a back facial, please.
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7. Apply a Blend of Aloe Vera, Tea Tree Oil and Propolis to Breakouts
During the summer season, you’re going to sweat more which means that your chances of having pimples are probably going to increase. If you do notice a zit or two, DO NOT PICK AT IT. Instead, apply a blend of Aloe vera, tea tree oil and propolis directly on it/them. Aloe vera is good for breakouts because it contains antibacterial properties that help to heal pimples at a faster pace.
Tea tree oil is one of the greatest things at getting rid of pimples because its potent antibacterial and anti-inflammatory properties can help to reduce the size of zits, seemingly overnight (no joke!). And propolis? It’s a substance that comes from bees that also fights inflammation while boosting collagen production, so that your acne marks can fade quicker. You can get your hands on some propolis in royal jelly form here and in extract form here.
8. Keep Your Hair Off of Your Back (and Shoulders)
Summer is definitely the season to see how low you can go when it comes to brains and twists (check out “If Spring & Summer Are Your Favorite Braid Seasons, Here's How To Make Them Last” and “This Is Your Summertime Protective Style Cheat Sheet”). Just remember that always wearing your hair down can cause your back and shoulders to sweat; plus, whatever is in your hair, it’s going to transfer to your skin which could also lead to breakouts.
Moral to the story here: Ponytails and pineapples as much as possible are a wise move. You’ll still be cute and your skin will be “hair burden free” in the process.
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9. Put on Some Shimmering Body Oil and/or Bronzing Serum
For the most part, I really like bronzer. The only thing that gets on my nerves about it is the fact that certain brands can rub off onto your clothing (or other people’s) and that is a real headache. The solution? Shimmering body oil or bronzing serum because those tend to be lighter, they don’t transfer as much and they create a soft glow that is really natural-looking. One that I like to use on my face is Physicians Formula Butter Glow Bronzing Serum; for my body, XIFEPFR Body Shimmer Oil (in Bronze Gold).
10. Try Some Broccoli Seed Oil At Night
The (main) reason why it’s so important to incorporate a (consistent) nighttime skincare routine is because your skin rejuvenates itself while you are sleeping; especially as it relates to skin cell renewal, improving the texture and quality of your skin and slowing down aging signs. And when it comes to an oil that is great for your skin as you’re catching some zzz’s, your “something new” for the day just might be broccoli seed oil.
It’s a non-greasy, deeply penetrating, highly moisturizing oil that is filled with fatty acids; can soothe razor bumps; is able to protect your skin from damaging UV rays; can serve as an all-natural alternative to retinol (due to its high concentration of vitamin A), and, as a bonus, it’s great for your nails and cuticles too. It ain’t the cheapest oil yet it is gaining traction for becoming one of the most holistically beneficial; especially when it comes to beauty benefits.
11. Sleep on Bamboo Sheets (and Wash Them Weekly)
Please tell me that you wash your bedding on a weekly basis. If you don’t, here is your friendly reminder that you shed a whopping 600,000 dead skin cells on a daily basis and so you absolutely should. And when it comes to bedding that is best during the summer months, consider going with bamboo sheets. They’re a super breathable fabric that’s soft, durable and also pretty good for the environment. Your skin will especially like them because they’re the kind of sheets that have a solid reputation for being naturally hypoallergenic, antibacterial and antimicrobial.
12. Drink Lots of Water
Your skin relies on water to keep it in supreme condition. Water hydrates. Water detoxifies. Water makes it easier for your skin to receive the nutrients that it needs. So, make sure to drink as much of it as possible this summer — even if it’s infused water or sparkling water with some lemon or lime in it. The more hydrated you are on the inside, the more moisturized your skin will look and feel on the outside — which is just what you need your skin to look like all summer season long!
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