Sex
Women are always being told what it means to be beautiful, and there's no difference when it comes to sexual prowess. My struggle with sexual confidence as a BBW came when I tried to reconcile societal pressures of beauty with how I see myself. I had to reevaluate my idea of self-worth and confidence. In doing so, I realized some of my beliefs about being a woman, in particular a BBW, were rooted in what others thought of me. This kept me from enjoying intimate moments but also from reaching the peak of arousal. That's right the Big O!
The first time I had sex with someone half my size, it was so awkward. I can remember taking my pants off but keeping my shirt on and the lights off. I lied there and tried to enjoy the moment but I kept thinking about what he could see of my body and what he thought of what he saw. It took me some time to really start enjoying the fullness of my body and to understand my strength came from embracing all of me.
It all clicked when I started embracing my wants and needs in the bedroom. I stopped allowing my fears of self to hinder me from enjoying sexual bliss. When this happened, I started voicing my needs and allowing the pleasure of those moments to waft over me. These days, I'm coaching my partners and hitting every high note in the bedroom like Mariah Carey in her heyday.
Below are some tips I cultivated along the way in my quest to have the best sex as a BBW:
1. Stretch It Out
The key to longevity during sex as a BBW is flexibility. You don't have to be a gymnast but it is important to warm up your muscles. This means doing some squats, toe touches, lunges, or some sexy dance moves before embarking on a tryst with your partner. The last thing you want to happen is to catch a cramp in your leg during that peak of arousal. Trust me, it's no fun.
▲2. Enjoy Yourself
The biggest mistake a BBW can make is overthinking the process, especially when your partner is smaller than you. I have made this mistake before and it stifles the enjoyability of the sex. Do not overthink the process. It may take a few times for you and your partner to catch the rhythm of each other's bodies. This is normal. The best thing to do is smile and laugh through the process.
▲3. Make Sure Your Puss Is Groomed
As BBWs we have thighs, hips, and stomach jiggles. This is all a part of our charm but it is important that we keep ourselves well-groomed. Keeping up with regular wax appointments and shaving is a must to great sex. I suggest waxing because it lasts longer than shaving and gives your puss a nice smooth feeling. Nothing can ruin great sex faster than smells or odors. Keeping hair to a minimum, along with proper hygiene, will spice up any night.
▲4. Have Some Signature Moves
Do not be afraid to throw that thang back or get on top of your partner. Try not to limit your positions and exploration because of your size. You can get to know your partner in so many ways by trying new techniques and positions. Your signature move may be the arch in your back or throwing a leg up like a fresh-faced cheerleader in high school but whatever it is, go for it.
▲5. Keep It Spicy
Sex is so much fun with different ambiances. Sometimes buying a new wig or lingerie will totally shift the mood of the night. A new smell or fragrance can even set the mood. Try wearing a dab of perfume behind your ear or buying a new candle that will illuminate the room. Be careful with wearing too much perfume because this can have an adverse effect on the mood. A dab behind the neck or legs will give your partner a nice trail to your lady parts.
▲Featured image by Shutterstock
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