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Op-Ed: 'Likability' Should Never Become The Foundation Of Sharing Your Truth
I want to begin by saying I’ve been a fan and supporter of Amanda Seales since My Brother and Me. I’ve always appreciated her wit, candor, and love for Black people and Black culture. That will likely never change, and I am almost certain that there will never be a time when I have the opportunity to stand up and defend a Black woman who is being unfairly judged and villainized that I will stray away from it.
By now I’m sure most of you reading this have seen or heard about, Seales’ Reel from March 16 sharing with her fans how much she appreciated them for showing up for her in ways she felt she wasn't supported in other spaces. She also mentioned various high-profile Black media outlets and award shows for not including her. One of those outlets even replied to the reel by acknowledging her truth, apologizing, and pledging to do better moving forward.
However, since then three Black media outlets, including ESSENCE, have released op-eds justifying why Seales’ treatment might not only be acceptable but the result of Seales’ overall personality and character. The Root headline reading, “If Everyone Says The Same Thing About Amanda Seales, Could She Be The Problem?” While TheGrio led with “Amanda Seales is not a victim of anything but her own hubris.” Lastly, ESSENCE chimed inwith the narrative “It's Time To Admit That Being Liked Is More Important Than Being Good At Your Job.”
Though all of these pieces were op-eds and the publications noted that the views of their journalists weren’t necessarily the views of the publication itself, the questions must be asked, why even publish them then? What conversation were you looking to elicit from these harsh attacks on a Black woman’s character?
And I’m not the only academic or journalist asking these questions. Elaine Welteroth went to social media asking, “Why are we having a public town hall discussion about whether or not we like Amanda Seales?” Marc Lamont Hill released a 20-minute video discussing the recent backlash Seales is receiving on his YouTube channel, challenging the framing of the narrative surrounding Seales. In the video, he’s also acknowledging she speaks out on issues that challenge the patriarchy, calls out the military-industrial complex, addresses racism, educates people on misogynoir, and so much more, which in essence makes her an easy target.
“When people who are in power have their authority and their power and their privilege questioned, they don’t like it and they fight, and they strike back,” Hill says.
Each of the individuals who penned these articles acknowledged that Seales speaks out against important issues but framed their narratives around the reason she’s not being received within Black Hollywood is that people don’t “like her.” Hill continues, “If you have someone in our community that’s addressing issues that make us better and then you normalize a narrative that she shouldn’t be liked, and you advance a media attack on her you’re not just attacking her, you’re making her less credible to the people who follow her and listen to her.”
Some argue that Seales’ recent framing by the media as someone who is “disliked” stems from her calling out publicist Vanessa Anderson for having her removed from a Black Emmys party in 2019. Others feel it may stem from her speaking out about Myron Rolle, NFL player turned neurosurgeon, about sexual harassment. There are countless theories on why Seales is being excluded from Black Hollywood events that stretch from her days as an MTV VJ to her stint onThe Real.
However, gossip and hearsay have no place in journalism. Black media outlets and organizations such as the NAACP were birthed out of a necessity for Black voices and stories to be heard and elevated. They were created so our community could have a space to tell our truths, and not just truths that were pretty or popular. Their inception was meant to hold those with power and authority accountable for their actions toward our community and other marginalized communities.
Likewise, they were meant to be a space where Black people are uplifted, not torn down.
The Memphis Free Speech, co-owned by Ida B. Wells, was created in 1888 as a platform to challenge racial discrimination and became a prominent voice in the Black community as it advocated for civil rights and social justice. Wells used her column to form an antilynching campaign and in one of her most famous works, she boldly suggested white women were being dishonest when accusing Black men they were caught with of rape. Her column resulted in her having to leave Memphis due to threats to her life.
ESSENCE Magazine was first published in 1970 to fill a void in the mainstream magazine industry that largely ignored and or misrepresented Black women. Its mission was to create a beautiful tapestry where Black womanhood was protected, celebrated, and allowed to be as vibrant, multifaceted, and unique as Black women themselves.
The NAACP Image Awards were created in 1967 to honor and award the outstanding achievements of members within the Black community who were often overlooked in the fields of television, film, music, and literature while simultaneously celebrating social justice activists who were creating change in America and globally.
When Black media outlets tear down and berate Black women for telling their truths, for standing up for other Black people, or for living as their authentically and unapologetic Black selves, not only are they perpetuating and justifying misogynoir; but also losing sight of what their foundational purpose. Additionally, suggesting, as these articles alluded to, that Seales isn't successful because of her lack of likability is either delusional, disrespectful, or both, given her consistent sold-out comedy shows, a successful podcast, 5-star author status, and 2.2M+ social media following across platforms.
Black women face a myriad of hatred, judgment, and backlash every day and are consistently told how they’re at fault for the way they’re treated. It is time for us as a community to stop putting the onus on Black women and start holding the offending parties accountable for their part as well.
Featured image by Dominik Bindl/Getty Images
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Summer Travel Guide: 9 Safest Vacation Spots For Black Women
When it comes to planning and choosing our international travels, there’s one question that is bound to come up: “Is it safe for Black women?”
At times, our travel plans can be halted by whether or not our desired destination is safe not only for solo travel but for overall protection as women of color. We want to have fun, go on excursions, taste the food, and let our hair down, so the last thing we need on our minds is navigating microaggressions and worrying about our safety.
According to a report by The Mandala Research Firm, 17% of Black Americans take one or more international trips and travel locally more than six times per year. Even more exciting, 42% of Black Americans said they would spend more in 2020 on travel than in 2019 (pre-Covid), and 50% of Black adults (16% more than the general population) are more likely to travel to locations associated with their ethnic or cultural heritage. All of this goes to show that we’re not afraid to pack our bags and book flights to our heart's desire.
Our passion for travel and exploration highlights a growing desire to connect with a wide range of cultures while discovering new fresh locales. By choosing destinations with positive reputations for safety and belonging, you can enjoy your next adventure with peace of mind. And to help, we’ve provided a list of the best vacation spots to add to our travel bucket list.
1.Havana, Cuba
Known for its vibrant culture and welcoming locals, Havana offers a unique travel experience for you and your girlfriends. Stroll through the historic streets of Old Havana and immerse yourself in the lively music and dance scenes that make this city unforgettable.
2.Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Famous for its Carnival, stunning beaches, and warm hospitality, Rio de Janeiro is a lively and safe city to explore all year long. Don't miss a visit to the iconic Christ the Redeemer statue and the bustling Copacabana Beach for a true taste of Rio's energetic spirit.
3.Belize
With its beautiful beaches, diverse wildlife, and laid-back Caribbean vibe, Belize is a safe and adventurous destination for travelers. Discover the underwater wonders of the Belize Barrier Reef and explore ancient Lamanai Maya Ruins.
4.Paris, France
Who doesn’t have Paris, the city of lights, on their travel list? Renowned for its art, fashion, and iconic landmarks like the Eiffel Tower, Paris offers a blend of romance and safety for travelers. Wander through the charming neighborhoods of Montmartre and Le Marais, explore the Louvre, and indulge in the city's exquisite culinary delights.
5.Lisbon, Portugal
Portugal's capital city, Lisbon, charms visitors with its historic architecture, delicious cuisine, and welcoming atmosphere. Enjoy breathtaking views from São Jorge Castle and savor traditional pastries at the famous Pastéis de Belém bakery.
6.Bali, Indonesia
We’ve all seen the viral photos off the Bali coast and Gates of Heaven, so why not make it a reality? Famous for its lush landscapes, vibrant culture, and serene temples, Bali offers a safe and enriching travel experience in Southeast Asia.
7.Tokyo, Japan
Recently, the value of the Japanese Yen has seen a significant drop, making it the lowest it has been against the dollar since 1986, which also means that there’s no better time than now to make your travel plans to the renowned cultural hub.
8.Accra, Ghana
There’s no FOMO like the kind felt from seeing all the beautiful faces enjoying their holiday at Ghana’s Afrochella Festival, so let this be your sign to start planning the trip now. Often referred to as a welcoming home for the African diaspora, Ghana offers rich cultural experiences and a sense of belonging. Explore the vibrant markets of Accra and visit the historic Cape Coast Castle to connect with the nation's poignant past.
9.Seoul, South Korea
You may be surprised to find this city on the list, but for Black travelers, Seoul is said to be one of the safest and most exciting cities to travel to. There will be plenty to eat, buy, and experience from this city’s rich history and culture.
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Featured image by Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images