

Listen, based on what I know (because I have learned to not talk about celebrities like I know them, unless I actually do), I have a lot of respect for the filmmaking phenomenon Ryan Coogler. In fact, a close friend of mine and I were recently talking about how much we enjoyed an NPR interview that he did late last month (“Ryan Coogler Paid A Steep Price For The Films He Made”).
And although I’ve heard the his movie Sinners is “that one” right now (did you know that it has crossed the $300 million mark at the time of this being published?), because I am a bit squeamish when it comes to violence and gore, I am still on the fence about personally checking it out; especially after Michael B. Jordan said himself that all of the (fake) blood even caused him to need to take breaks throughout filming. I dunno…maybe in the daytime. We’ll see. LOL.
Anyway, all of the talk about vampires — you know, due to the film — did cause me to wonder something that might seem rather random, yet that’s oftentimes how my mind works: Do vampires give each other hickeys? As I Googled for an answer, besides a book that has a title close to that name, I did notice an ABC feature from when the vampire Twilight film series was all the rage several years back. It was inquiring if teens were suddenly biting each other (back then) because of the movie(s).
The sexologist who was interviewed came to the conclusion that since biting is “an extension of the hickey” and hickeys are (typically) considered to be passionate, that’s why teens were interested in doing it. As far as what vampires do with each other? I couldn’t find a definitive answer.
I dunno. With hickeys also being called “love bites” and “suck marks” and with folks oftentimes describing vampire-themed movies as sexy, I would think that they could. Either way, what we know for sure is that those of us in the real world do it — and so, in honor/acknowledgement of that, I figured that now would be a perfect time to share some facts about hickeys. Ready?
1. Humans Are Copying Animals When They Give Hickeys
Aight, so what exactly is the origin story of hickeys? It would seem that it came from the literature of authors who wrote about what animals like lions and wolves do whenever they are showing affection towards one another. Apparently, humans saw this and eventually began to follow suit.
Hey, that doesn’t sound so crazy to me, considering doggy style continues to be a fan favorite among our species, and…have you ever seen two cats have sex before? I have, more than once, and the male cat is typically biting on the female one, in her neck region, during the act. So, when I really stop to think about all of this, it definitely tracks.
2. Hickeys Are Oftentimes a Low-Key Power Play
Ah, perfect. If you click here, you will actually see a picture of two cats having sex, and — like I just said, the male cat is biting the female cat. One reason why is because male cat penises have barbs on them which can make the entry or exit of intercourse literally painful for the female. And so, the male cat holds her in place by biting her, so that she doesn’t run away. And yes, along these same lines, some believe that hickeys can serve as their own power dynamic shift, even among humans — especially based on where a person decides to put one. I guess it would be like “peeing on your territory” in a way — hmph, which is something else that animals tend to do.
3. Hickeys Are Nothing More than a Bruise
Okay, so what actually causes a hickey to happen? Well, when someone sucks and gently bites on your skin, it can break some of the surface blood vessels that are underneath your skin to break. When that happens, it results in a bruise. If someone does this to you for about a half a minute, you should notice a hickey emerge in a matter of minutes and, depending on how “good” of a job they did, a hickey can stick around for as much as a couple of weeks.
4. “Temperature Play” Speeds Up the Healing Process of Hickeys
Again, depending on how “good” of a job someone did at giving you a hickey, it could last between two days and two weeks. If you want yours to fade faster, because, again, hickeys are a bruise, it’s a good idea to bring some temperature play into action. What I mean by that is, start off by putting an ice pack on your hickey for up to 10 minutes, twice a day, for the first two days.
Then, after 48 hours, apply a warm compress for 10 minutes a few times a day. You might also want to apply a bit of peppermint oil to your hickey and gently massage that area as well; that will help to bring more blood flow to the spot, so that your skin can heal faster.
5. If You Take Blood Thinners, Hickeys Will Last Longer
If you’re someone who takes blood thinners, that will keep hickeys aren’t for a longer period of time. That’s because blood thinners are specifically designed to slow down the blood clotting process that’s in your body. So, if you’re big on hickeys and you even take aspirin on a fairly regular basis, you’re gonna have to accept that the “hickey healing hacks” may not actually work for you (at least not as quickly or effectively).
6. Certain “Natural Things” Can Make Them Last Longer Too
Speaking of blood thinners, even if you aren’t on any meds, did you know that certain foods provide blood-thinning effects as well? Some of those include ginger, garlic, aloe, turmeric, and cayenne pepper, and even supplements including vitamin E and melatonin. Just something to keep in mind. (By the way, vitamin C and the bromelain in pineapples can help to heal hickeys as far as supplements and foods go).
7. No, Hickeys Will Not Give You Cancer
It actually wasn’t until I was doing research for this article that I even heard the myth that hickeys can give you cancer. What in the world? Yeah, if you heard that somewhere before, pay that tale no mind, because science absolutely says otherwise. For the most part, hickeys are relatively harmless.
8. They Can Give You an Infection, Though
And why did I just say, “for the most part”? Yeah, you caught that, huh? Well, there is an extreme instance where a woman had a stroke due to a hickey because it happened on top of a major artery — that’s hella rare, though. What is more common is oral herpes transmitted through hickeys.
Not to mention the fact that a hickey is usually a bruise more than a wound; however, if your skin does end up being broken or you’re giving a hickey and blood is somehow transmitted…well, I’m sure you could see how this could be potentially problematic. Bottom line, get — and stay getting — tested. Just to be on the safe side. Hickeys or not.
9. A Dream About Getting a Hickey Is Actually a Warning
Remember how I said earlier that sometimes the person who is giving the hickey is doing so as an act of power? Well, along those same lines, if you happen to dream that someone is giving you a love bite, keep in mind that it probably isn’t about anything sexual; usually, it means that you are either in a toxic or stressful situation and you’re trying to figure out if you should approach it with logic or emotion. The more you know.
10. Sometimes Pain Creates Pleasure
Someone who enjoys being tortured or humiliated during sex, they fall into a category that is known as sexual masochism — and no, that is not what I am referring to here. What I am speaking about is the fact that, because pain and pleasure sensations are housed in the same part of the brain, when mild pain is felt, that could be why it arouses you — and that could be why you may enjoy receiving hickeys (I mean, if you actually do). They both have been proven to create a dopamine and opioid surge, which can intensify your sexual responses and reactions.
____
Hickeys do tend to create a very polarizing response: folks either adore them or loathe them. Either way, now you know what they’re all about, so if you’re on the “A” team, share it with those who are also in your club.
It could make them appreciate hickeys — love bites, suck marks — that much more, chile.
Dig in. #wink
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by xoNecole/YouTube
Ashley Versher is known for her work in the Tyler Perry's Beauty In Black series and more recently, she starred alongside Taraji P. Henson in the Netflix film Straw. But she is more than just her acting credits and stunning looks (her hair alone is everything). In an xoNecole exclusive, Ashley dishes on her first celebrity crush, how she spends her downtime, and her go-to haircare products because we need the deets.
Get to know Ashley below.
xoNecole: Where are you from?
Ashley Versher: San Francisco - BAY AREAAAAAA!!!!
xoN: What was your first major acting role?
AV: A 49ers Super Bowl commercial - I think I was 3.
Ashley Versher
Johnny Marlow
xoN: Have you ever had an embarrassing or funny audition story? If so, what happened?
AV: Yes! I was doing a self-tape once and I forgot to take off my bonnet. But the tape was so good I sent it in anyway.
xoN: Your hair is gorgeous. What has it been like navigating Hollywood with natural hair?
AV: Thank you so much! Navigating Hollywood with natural hair has definitely been a journey of self-discovery. Early on, I had to make a conscious decision about how I wanted to show up—not just in this industry, but for myself. Once I fully embraced my natural hair and committed to the journey, everything else began to align. It’s been nothing short of empowering.
Navigating Hollywood with natural hair has definitely been a journey of self-discovery. Early on, I had to make a conscious decision about how I wanted to show up—not just in this industry, but for myself.
xoN: What are your favorite go-to hair products?
AV: Ooooooo, right now I’m loving Camille Rose’s Jai Twisting Butter—it’s super moisturizing and gives me a fun, bouncy twist-out! I’ve also recently gotten into oils, and I’m especially loving sweet almond oil.
xoN: We know you as an actress, but what is another special talent you have that most people don't know about?
AV: I trained as a classical violinist for 13/14years.
xoN: Who is your hero?
AV: My mom. She’s incredible - full stop.
Ashley Versher
Johnny Marlow
xoN: How do you like to spend your down time?
AV: Ha! What’s that!? Jk jk, I love to travel, that’s honestly my favorite thing.
xoN: Who was your first celebrity crush?
AV: Prince.
xoN: What is your dream role?
AV: One day I will play a witch with Harry Potter-like powers!
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Feature image by Johnny Marlow