
I'm pretty sure we can all agree that one of the worst things someone can do is waste our time. Yet, isn't it ironic that if most of us sat and thought about who wastes our time the most, it would probably be ourselves? (Ouch and amen!)
I don't know about you, but not a week goes by that I'm not either wondering where my 24 hours went or wishing that I could add four more hours to at least one of my days. Usually, it's because I don't plan out my day the day before, or I'm doing stuff that is totally unnecessary.
It's funny how life works and what it will teach you. I say that because the more I'm learning to value myself, the more I'm also learning to value my time. With that, I've discovered a few hacks along the way that have literally given me a couple of hours back.
1.Cook for the Week (on the Weekends)
You've probably told yourself that you're gonna do this and just never did. But trust me—if you cook on the weekends while you're binge-watching one of your favorite shows, not only will it save you time during the week but it's healthier. Just think about it—you won't be wasting money on fattening fast food, which means cooking for the week also saves you money too!
2.Go to Bed (or Wake Up) 30 Minutes Earlier
How is going to bed or waking up earlier gonna save you time? It's all in how you look at it.
If you've been wanting to read a book, going to bed earlier can help you to knock some chapters out. If you've been saying you're gonna run more, getting up earlier means that you can get 20 minutes of cardio in before hopping in the shower.
3.Shower the Night Before
If you're slightly OCD, this tip probably won't work for you. But for everyone else, aside from the fact that showering the night before can save you an extra 15 minutes or so in the morning, did you know that it can be better for your skin and health too?
Not only does showering at night improve your quality of sleep, but cleansing your pores before bedtime can help your skin to rejuvenate itself while you rest. Plus, your pores will be closed by morning, which decreases the chances of getting an infection or catching a cold.
4.Tie Your Sides Down with Shea Butter and a Scarf
Whether you run out of edge control or you simply need a little more reinforcement for the hairstyle you want to rock, dab a little shea butter on your baby hairs, then tie a scarf around your head. Shea butter is one of the most "slept-on" ways to keep your edges laid. It's so good that you won't have to waste 10 extra minutes trying to get your hair under control.
5.Download Waze
Even if you get out of the house 20 minutes earlier on most mornings, that doesn't always mean that you're gonna miss a wreck on the road. If you're trying to impress your boss by not only getting to work on time but getting there earlier, download a traffic navigation app like Waze. You'll get up-to-date info on car accidents, traffic, and weather so that you can bypass all the (potential) drama on the road.
6.Check Your Email (No More Than Three Times a Day)
You're not gonna wanna hear it, but you need to. It's been proven that we spend (or is it waste?) almost three hours a day on email alone.
Listen, whatever is in your inbox, it's going to be there whenever you get around to checking it. You can save a world of time by disciplining yourself to wait until arriving at work before you check it at all. Then only look at it again during lunch and right before leaving in the evening. Unless you're waiting for something work-related that's time-sensitive, of course.
7.Turn Your Notifications Off
Surely you didn't think I was gonna let social media slide. Although I personally don't use it (nope, no social media accounts at all), I know that makes me an enigma. Meanwhile, guess how much time you're (probably) spending/wasting on it? HALF THE DAY (check out article US Adults Now Spend Nearly Half a Day Interacting with Media for reference).
Remember when your mom used to say, "Do you know how much you can get done in the two hours you're sitting in front of the television?" Replace that with "Do you know how much you're not getting done because you're always on someone's Instagram Story?" Just sayin'.
8.Do the Hardest Tasks—First
Procrastination sucks. Mostly because it encourages us to avoid making the most of our time. That said, whatever project you've got that you've been putting off because of all the work that's involved in it? Do yourself a favor and do it first. If you always make it a point (and practice) to do the hardest things before everything else by the time you get to the easy stuff, you'll literally be able to fly right through those tasks—and the rest of your day.
9.Leave Work ON TIME
One of the most challenging things about having a salaried job is you can easily stay at work 2-3 hours after the time you're scheduled to go home. But while you're still sitting at your desk, just think about all the errands you can run or how much of your house you can clean.
Moral to the story—unless you have to be at work past your clock-out time…don't be.
10. Schedule Your "Electronics" Time
One more thing. Any (reputable) interior designer will tell you that bedrooms are for sex and sleep. If you're not getting much of either, know that it's because you've got your laptop on your bed and your smartphone on your lap.
I'll put it to you this way: That's a surefire way to jack up your quality time with your significant other, your quality of sleep, and a few moments for you to paint your nails. So instead of electronics, just read a book or write in a journal.
I'm willing to bet some good money that if you implemented all or even some of these changes, you would get back a couple of hours of your life, easily. It's a reminder that most of the time, we don't need more time in the day; we simply need to stop wasting the time that we already have.
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This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Kerry Washington Says The Key To Her Signature Glow Lies In Her Wellness Routine
For more than a decade, actress Kerry Washington has lit up our TV screens in her iconic roles from Scandal to Little Fires Everywhere. But like any beloved starlet with so much to balance and maintain in their public and private life, Washington is managing to take a holistic approach to her overall wellness routine.
“I think we put an emphasis on if you look good, you'll feel good. And I think it's the opposite,” Washington tells Yahoo Life. “If I feel good, I'll look good, because I'll shine and I'll put my best foot forward."
Her from-the-inside-out approach to achieving the signature glow we’ve all grown to associate with the wife and mother of three is one that hasn’t come without its challenges. With her busy schedule and list of projects, Washington admits that if there was one thing she’d make more time for, it would be her beauty rest.
"Those are the areas that I find I struggle with more, stress and a lack of sleep,” she says. “So it's really important for me to keep challenging myself to take better care of myself.”
For Washington, self-care looks like taking time to journal her thoughts, attending therapy, meditating, and spending time with people — and pets — that bring her joy and restore her sense of peace after a stressful day.
"That sense of community of being able to be with people who I love and who love me unconditionally, I find that that can sometimes be the greatest stress reliever, and pets," she shares. "I started therapy in college, so decades ago. And it's been a really, really important tool," she explains. "When I engage in behavior that is loving, it can help me feel more loved and lovable."
While these loving behaviors may vary from day to day, Washington says that sprinkling in acts of “love and kindness” has been the key to feeling her best self, all over.
"Sometimes that means pulling myself up, washing my face, putting on sunscreen, and going out the door. And sometimes that's like cocooning in my bubble bath and taking it easy," she says. "Treating myself with love and kindness, especially my skin, my most important organ. That can be a pathway to feeling better."
Featured image by Rob Latour/Shutterstock
Originally published on July 11, 2023









