

My Husband Waited More Than A Year To Say "I Love You" - Here’s Why I Stayed
We all know that feeling when you're in a relationship, but it feels like it's not turning serious until you hear him say he loves you.
No matter how great it's going, there's just something about the reassurance of those words that helps you stay optimistic throughout the ups and downs of your relationship. But what happens when you don't hear it for the first couple months, or even the first year? Does that mean he doesn't really love you?
That question alone can open up a can of worms because the next question is the whole, "Where is this relationship going," which can be draining to even think about. Still, despite my now husband waiting over a year to say those seemingly magic words, in hindsight I realize how perfect the timing was.
Is The Future A Real Topic Of Conversation?
Knowing that my husband was dating me with the intention of marrying me meant more than hearing him say he loved me. Not saying that marriage is everything, but it was clear he was making plans for our future. It was a constant topic of conversation, even in the earlier days of our relationship. Even though this wasn't the first time a guy said they planned on marrying me and talked about the future, he made his intentions clear when he actually made plans for our future, and not just saying I was "wifey material."
And listen, this wasn't just him saying stuff for the sake of it because he thought it was what I wanted to hear. Sometimes it's so easy to look for something specific, whether it's him saying he loves you or putting your relationship on social media, for your guy to prove how he really feels. Plus, he could have thought he was expressing it in his own way and doing a bang-up job. Either way, since he was obviously committed to our relationship for a lifetime, I decided I could be too, even though he hadn't said he loved me yet.
How Does He Treat You?
The whole statement that actions speak louder than words might be overstated and overplayed, but it's still just as true as it was when it first hit the scene. While at times my husband's decision not to say it made me question what was really happening, he showed me he how he felt by how he treated me. On the flip side, I remember a guy I was "dating" told me he loved me as he apologized for flirting with other girls, and made it clear he wasn't going to stop doing it because we weren't "official." Clearly, those little three words did nothing for me. So, to not have those words said to me in a completely opposite situation was fine with me.
If there were times I had to question my husband's character and his intentions, then yeah I would definitely be serving up the side eye, but since that wasn't the case, I decided I could stick around.
Does He Say It Without Saying It?
So, funny story. There were so many times when I thought he was saying he loved me without him actually saying, "I love you." Me and one of my friends channeled our inner Nancy Drew and tried to figure out if he was telling me in his own way. For example, there was one time when he let me drink after him, which apparently was a big deal for him. He said something like, "You know I love you because I never let anyone drink after me." And for some reason, I thought this was the big moment. It wasn't. But it at least gave me hope that he was starting to inch toward that, or at least expressing it if he already felt that way but didn't know how to say it.
Sometimes, especially when it comes to relationships, your significant other really might be doing the best they can in telling you how they feel. There's this clear and obvious pressure for a guy to man up and tell a woman that he loves her if that's how he feels. While that sounds like an open-and-shut case, I also had to take into account his relationship history and his past in general as to why he might be hesitant to express it in the traditional way.
When Does It Actually Happen?
My husband told me he loved me after about 14 months of being together. This was also the same day we went public on social media, which is another story. It was in a birthday card written in capital letters, and he was so excited to tell me in his own way and in his own time. It's kind of like when you're waiting on a guy to propose. Of course, you want it to happen but pressuring can only add this awkward energy. And seeing him come to this conclusion on his own, even though it took longer than I wanted, was worth waiting for. This definitely depends on the type of guy you're dealing with because some need that extra push.
But after I read the card, he explained that he pressed pause with telling me before because he really wanted to mean it when he said it. He had been in previous relationships where he said it because he thought he was supposed to and didn't want that to be the case this time around. And clearly neither did I. If only he could've told me that sooner, but of course it's never that simple. While the wait sometimes caused me to question his affection, when he did say it, it only opened the door for him to say it all the time. And to be honest, it really didn't change much about our relationship, except maybe make it a little more romantic.
Because even though he didn't say it in the way I was looking for him to, he said it in his own time and always in his own ways.
Featured image by Getty Images
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Charmaine Patterson is a journalist, lifestyle blogger, and a lover of all things pop culture. While she has much experience in covering top entertainment news stories, she aims to share her everyday life experiences, old and new, with other women who can relate, laugh, and love along with her. Follow Char on Twitter @charjpatterson, Instagram @charpatterson, and keep up with her journey at CharJPatterson.com .
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Blac Chyna Opens Up About Her Initial Fear To Share Her Spiritual Journey With Others
Watching Angela “Blac Chyna” White’s transformation in real-time has truly been a sight to see. It wasn’t that long ago that she announced that she was reversing her cosmetic surgeries in an effort to go back to who she was before the world came to know her as Blac Chyna. In previous interviews, she stated that she was dissolving her facial and lip fillers, removing her breast implants, and getting a butt reduction, as well as removing the dimple piercings that enhanced her fame and controversial tattoos.
In a recent Tamron Hall interview, the mother of two said that she has “fully recovered” from the procedures. She is also celebrating one year of sobriety and opened up about being worried about how her new journey would be received by others.
“I’ve been in the entertainment industry for so long, right, and of course, like, you know, coming out, I’m like young, I’m gonna do wild things as we all have,” she said.
“...I feel like by me being vocal and showing everybody you can change your life and things can get better, like through myself, that right there is an accomplishment, and that’s a part of freedom, too.”
But as she started on her journey, many people have shown her grace, which is something she’s grateful for. “And then the fact that people have been showing me grace, it’s like amazing,” she said. “And I feel like when I did it, I just did it. It was more so like spiritual thing and I feel like people see that, and I’ve always been like my authentic self, so what you see is kinda what you get with me, and that’s just kinda what it is.”
Chyna, who recently received an honorary doctorate from Sacramento Theology Seminary and Bible College, has also repaired her relationship with her mom, Tokyo Toni. The social media celebrity surprised her daughter on the Tamron Hall Show. Prior to the sentimental surprise, Chyna dished on the reconciliation and having a better understanding of her mom.
“I must say, some of the things I have to take accountability for because, like my actions. As a mother, you don’t want to see your daughter doing certain things ‘cause it’s like it doesn’t matter what my past was or what we’re going through, I didn’t raise you that way,” she admitted. “So, it’s like, okay, maybe I was a little bit wrong. Maybe I was acting out a little bit. But I feel like as we grow older, I kinda see more, and I understand more.”
Chyna will be starring in season two of Fox's reality competition show Special Forces: World's Toughest Test.
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Feature image by Kevin Winter/Getty Images