Entrepreneurship ain't nothing new, but more and more people are opting out of a 9-5 to become entrepreneurs and with information becoming more accessible, it makes it easier for people to act on it.
Social media has also played a significant part in the entrepreneur lifestyle. To an audience of entrepreneurs and non-entrepreneurs alike, this certain lifestyle looks sexy and glamorous while not only enticing others to want that way of life, but actually try to achieve it right away, overlooking the proper steps necessary to take in order to have success as a business owner. But in order to make sure you don't make those common mistakes, we have enlisted some professional assistance.
Meet Desiree L. Talley, Esquire, attorney and founder of The Talley Law Group in NYC.
After working for major corporations, such as Turner Entertainment Network, Pandora, and Viacom, Desiree opened up her own law firm with the primary goal to help creatives of color protect their work.
Growing up in the Bay area, Desiree never really saw many successful African-Americans and so it was television that gave her a glimpse into her future. Watching characters from prominent Black TV shows like "Joan" from Girlfriends and "Teri" from Soul Food introduced her to law, but an episode of My Super Sweet 16 made her want to be an entertainment lawyer. "There was a Black man on there and he was an entertainment attorney. And he worked with celebrities and had this big flashy house and that's when I made the connection that I could become a entertainment lawyer and combine my true passion," she shared with xoNecole.
After graduating from Hampton University, Desiree moved to New York City, attended law school and began a successful law career. Along with her law practice, she is also the co-host of the PopLaw podcast where they discuss celebrity legal cases and breakdown the laws around it. Being that African-Americans only make up 7 percent of lawyers, she also makes it a point to mentor younger lawyers of color by being that person that she didn't have in law school.
Recently, Desiree opened up to xoNecole about starting her law practice and gave some advice for black creatives who want to start their own businesses:
What inspired you to start your own law firm?
I decided to open my own law firm because I was feeling a little stagnant and I wasn't getting a lot of work that I wanted to get at my job. I knew I had a lot more to contribute but I wasn't getting the opportunities and the chance so I found myself not being happy going to work and [I began] dreading to go and I found myself not liking the work I was doing. So with different groups that I'm involved in in NYC and having a lot of friends on the creative side, I just started seeing that a lot of them needed help and they didn't know how to start a business or protect their work.
From being on the corporate side, I saw how when you create something, companies just take it because you just put it on social media and then they get inspired by what some Black creatives create. That's when I knew it was time for me to leave my job and start my own law company and to help my friends.
"I saw how when you create something, companies just take it because you just put it on social media and then they get inspired by what some Black creatives create. That's when I knew it was time for me to leave my job and start my own law company."
What services does your firm provide?
I help register different trademarks and copyrights for my clients. I create standard business forms if they're trying to start their business and they need something in particular. I also do a lot of contract review if they are in partnerships with different companies or with friends, and I also do negotiations for my clients as well.
What has been the most challenging part of your journey?
I thought it was going to be a fast process. I expected to have my business and all the paperwork done at the top of the year and it took longer than I expected. It was a learning curve, learning the paperwork you have to fill out, determining if I wanted to make it a LLC or corporation for different types of tax purposes. Those were the main things and then there were costs that I didn't expect to have. I thought it was gonna be very simple for me to just read the corporation paperwork but it was harder than I expected and took more time than I expected.
"I expected to have my business and all the paperwork done at the top of the year and it took longer than I expected. It was a learning curve."
What is the #1 mistake people make in starting a business?
Not researching the market very well. I think a lot of times people just have an idea and they wanna go for it and they're excited but they don't understand who their competitors are, they don't research if a business has a similar name, and they don't have any trademarks or start up costs available to them. They just put it out and I think that works sometimes but when you're trying to turn your cash and creativity into a business, you can't do that.
What is your advice for going into business with a friend?
A lot of times I see partnerships with friends go wrong. There wasn't an understanding in the beginning regarding profit and who pays for what, the different roles and responsibilities that each person has, and some people may be upset that some people are getting social media or print media shine as opposed to the other one, so these types of things I deal with often.
A lot of people just go off of friendship, but you want the friendship to last, so have these hard discussions in the beginning and if you're uncomfortable, then bring a third party in to do it on your behalf so you can maintain the friendship even during business. Understand that you can go into business with a friend but definitely have those conversations in the beginning. That's why a lot of people say don't do it because they don't have those conversations when doing business with a friend.
Highlight the roles and responsibilities and you do that by simply pulling out a piece of paper and say, 'You're gonna do this and that.' If [we] are making money, are we splitting the money? Are we putting the money back into the business? You can write everything down on a piece of paper and have both sign it and that's a binding contract.
How should an entrepreneur determine their salary?
I think it depends on – one, is this your full time job? Do you need a salary? How much is the business making? Is it more important to grow the business or give yourself some money? It depends on the type of business but for me, I'd just put all the money back into the business.
You might need marketing, there might be printing, mailing. If you have a website, then you have to pay the fees for the website so it's kinda just determining the money you have in upfront costs and ongoing costs and if you can physically do it. Then again, it depends on the business. [For example], are you selling a product or is it service-based?
Keep up with Desiree on Instagram @desiree_talley or check out her website Talleylawgroup.net! You can also check out her podcast here.
Answers have been edited for length and clarity.
London Alexaundria is the contributing editor for xoNecole. She is an alum of Clark Atlanta University, where she majored in Mass Media Arts and has worked in journalism for over ten years. You can follow her on Instagram and TikTok @theselfcarewriter
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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You'd Be Amazed How Much These 10 Essential Oils Can Give You Some Blissful Sleep
If you’re someone who has a sleep routine (or you’re seriously thinking about creating one), please make sure that you incorporate scent into it. Although things like a cooler temperature in your bedroom, incorporating nature sounds (like rain or ocean waves via a sound machine or even a YouTube channel) and even sipping on some tart cherry juice are proven ways to get you the quality of rest that you’re after, science says that your sense of smell shouldn’t be overlooked.
In fact, aromatherapy is quite powerful when it comes to promoting calm and relaxation, helping to put you into an optimistic mood, reducing stress, preventing insomnia, and improving how soundly you are able to sleep throughout the night. And so, since I’m such an essential oils fan (and I truly am!), let’s get into 10 that will help you to rest well — thanks to the way that they smell along with a few other benefits that they are able to offer you too.
Essential Oils for Better Sleep
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1. Lavender
When it comes to essential oils that are best for you in the “rest and relaxation department,” lavender may be the most popular one. That’s because it is well known for doing everything from reducing pain and inflammation and making menstrual cramps less intense to lowering anxiety and increasing your melatonin levels. On a super scientific note, something else that’s cool about lavender oil is it works with your body’s neurotransmitters in order to reduce restlessness if you happen to be someone who doesn’t sleep soundly due to tossing and turning all throughout the night.
2. Cedarwood
Although I’ve always liked the earthy scent of cedarwood, something that caused it to earn my respect was reading about how it’s an all-natural way to improve the attention span of children who’ve been diagnosed with autism and ADHD. Beyond that, as far as calming oneself goes, cedarwood oil is able to soothe arthritic discomfort, reduce coughing (if a cold is what’s keeping you up), decrease the itchiness and irritation that comes with eczema, lower your stress levels, and, yes, improve your quality of sleep if you’re someone who happens to rest yet not really…rest well.
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3. Patchouli
Another oil that has a solid reputation for decreasing bodily inflammation is patchouli. Some other things that make it stellar are the facts that it helps to ward off depression-related symptoms (if that is what keeps you up at night), puts you in a better mood, boosts your immunity (so that being under the weather doesn’t prevent you from catching some zzz’s) and it even intensifies your libido — ‘cause chile, ain’t nothin’ like the sleep that you get after having an orgasm…or two. Oh, and it absolutely must go on record that patchouli oil also acts as a sedative if you’ve been dealing with insomnia as of late as well.
4. Marjoram
Women who are looking for an all-natural way to regulate their hormones (check out “5 Signs Your Estrogen Is Too High. 5 Signs It's Too Low.”) might want to speak with their doctor (or homeopath) about trying marjoram oil. Some research says that it can help to balance hormones which can make PMS and the latter stages of perimenopause more tolerable (which can make falling and staying asleep easier to do too). Marjoram is also helpful when it comes to reducing pain, easing digestion, and alleviating anxiety.
Plus, since marjoram is an oil that is high in magnesium and magnesium is a nutrient that can help you to get to sleep, stay asleep, and then wake up feeling refreshed — so long as you’re not pregnant or breastfeeding (you should consult your doctor first if you are because it can sometimes produce side effects in your case), you definitely should give marjoram a shot.
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5. Ylang Ylang
Typically, when I think of the essential oil ylang ylang, what comes to my mind is how it can make for a very eventful evening…if you catch my drift (check out “Ultimate Climax Hack? 10 Scents That Make It So Much Easier To Orgasm”); however, it can actually help you out in more areas of your life than just your bedroom. Ylang ylang is another oil that helps to reduce pain and anxiety. Something else to keep in mind about ylang ylang is if you’re having a hard time falling asleep due to something like a headache or even respiratory issues, putting a couple of drops into a diffuser could bring some relief. That’s because ylang ylang is also classified as being a sedative — one that can even help to lower the blood pressure in your bae (healthy men) if need be.
6. Fennel
As a doula, something that I’m well aware of is the fact that fennel seeds can help (some) mothers to produce more breast milk. It doesn’t stop there, though. If sleep is evading you due to gas or constipation, fennel oil can help you out there. Some scientific research also says that it’s the kind of oil that can help you feel less anxious if you’re trying to rest after a long hard day. And, since fennel is known for making sleeping better when it’s in tea form, I don’t see why it wouldn’t do the same thing as an essential oil too.
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7. Valerian Root
If you’re looking for the kind of essential oil that will help you to relax, on pretty much every level, look no further than valerian root. The properties in it are going to help to calm your nervous system, soothe headache tension, lower your stress levels, decrease menstrual cramp discomfort, bring relief to hot flashes (that come with perimenopause) and yes, it’s an all-natural approach to insomnia as well. Although many choose to use it in supplement form, applying valerian root oil to pressure points like your feet can also provide a very relaxing and impactful effect.
8. Jasmine
If you check out my article, “8 Natural Aphrodisiac Scents, Where They Go & How To Make Them Last” from back in the day, you’ll see that jasmine is another essential oil that is considered to be a pretty potential one if you’re looking to boost you (or your partner’s libido). I get why too because its floral-meets-fruity scent can be quite sensual. Beyond the bedroom, jasmine can help you to feel less stressed and anxious, experience less menstrual-related discomfort, and make you feel less depressed — and yes, it contains properties that qualify the oil to be a sedative. This is especially the case if you blend it with another soothing essential oil like lavender.
9. Clary Sage
If pretty much nothing but perimenopause symptoms are what’s keeping you awake at night, you might want to keep a bottle of clary sage oil on your nightstand because it can help to decrease night sweats by naturally “leveling out” the estrogen that may be on a bit of a roller coaster ride in your system right through here. Other things that this oil can do is reduce stress and help to relax your system. Not to mention the fact that if menstrual cramps are what’s keeping you up, some women say that rubbing some of the oil (add a carrier oil like sweet almond or avocado to the oil to dilute it a bit, please) to your abdominal region can provide quite a bit of relief.
10. Vetiver
Final one. In my opinion, it’s kind of surprising that vetiver essential oil isn’t mentioned more in the holistic care space. For starters, it has been celebrated for providing support for children with ADHD as well as decreasing nervousness and anxiety in adults. Some other ways that this oil can benefit you is it’s the kind of aphrodisiac that raises testosterone levels while lowering cortisol ones (cortisol is a stress hormone that’s in your body) which can intensify orgasms and promote great rest — and yes, it’s also mentioned quite often in the sleep-inducing space.
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You know, I once read that since 2010, the amount of people who rely on sleeping pills to get to sleep has pretty much doubled. Since the side effects of the long-term use of over-the-counter sedatives include things like headaches, muscle weakness, digestion issues, and even louder snoring and sleeplessness, consider trying one of these essential oils before popping a pill. As you can see, not only can certain oils help to lull you to sleep — but they can help in so many other areas too. Happy resting, chile.
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