Entrepreneurship ain't nothing new, but more and more people are opting out of a 9-5 to become entrepreneurs and with information becoming more accessible, it makes it easier for people to act on it.
Social media has also played a significant part in the entrepreneur lifestyle. To an audience of entrepreneurs and non-entrepreneurs alike, this certain lifestyle looks sexy and glamorous while not only enticing others to want that way of life, but actually try to achieve it right away, overlooking the proper steps necessary to take in order to have success as a business owner. But in order to make sure you don't make those common mistakes, we have enlisted some professional assistance.
Meet Desiree L. Talley, Esquire, attorney and founder of The Talley Law Group in NYC.
After working for major corporations, such as Turner Entertainment Network, Pandora, and Viacom, Desiree opened up her own law firm with the primary goal to help creatives of color protect their work.
Growing up in the Bay area, Desiree never really saw many successful African-Americans and so it was television that gave her a glimpse into her future. Watching characters from prominent Black TV shows like "Joan" from Girlfriends and "Teri" from Soul Food introduced her to law, but an episode of My Super Sweet 16 made her want to be an entertainment lawyer. "There was a Black man on there and he was an entertainment attorney. And he worked with celebrities and had this big flashy house and that's when I made the connection that I could become a entertainment lawyer and combine my true passion," she shared with xoNecole.
After graduating from Hampton University, Desiree moved to New York City, attended law school and began a successful law career. Along with her law practice, she is also the co-host of the PopLaw podcast where they discuss celebrity legal cases and breakdown the laws around it. Being that African-Americans only make up 7 percent of lawyers, she also makes it a point to mentor younger lawyers of color by being that person that she didn't have in law school.
Recently, Desiree opened up to xoNecole about starting her law practice and gave some advice for black creatives who want to start their own businesses:
What inspired you to start your own law firm?
I decided to open my own law firm because I was feeling a little stagnant and I wasn't getting a lot of work that I wanted to get at my job. I knew I had a lot more to contribute but I wasn't getting the opportunities and the chance so I found myself not being happy going to work and [I began] dreading to go and I found myself not liking the work I was doing. So with different groups that I'm involved in in NYC and having a lot of friends on the creative side, I just started seeing that a lot of them needed help and they didn't know how to start a business or protect their work.
From being on the corporate side, I saw how when you create something, companies just take it because you just put it on social media and then they get inspired by what some Black creatives create. That's when I knew it was time for me to leave my job and start my own law company and to help my friends.
"I saw how when you create something, companies just take it because you just put it on social media and then they get inspired by what some Black creatives create. That's when I knew it was time for me to leave my job and start my own law company."
What services does your firm provide?
I help register different trademarks and copyrights for my clients. I create standard business forms if they're trying to start their business and they need something in particular. I also do a lot of contract review if they are in partnerships with different companies or with friends, and I also do negotiations for my clients as well.
What has been the most challenging part of your journey?
I thought it was going to be a fast process. I expected to have my business and all the paperwork done at the top of the year and it took longer than I expected. It was a learning curve, learning the paperwork you have to fill out, determining if I wanted to make it a LLC or corporation for different types of tax purposes. Those were the main things and then there were costs that I didn't expect to have. I thought it was gonna be very simple for me to just read the corporation paperwork but it was harder than I expected and took more time than I expected.
"I expected to have my business and all the paperwork done at the top of the year and it took longer than I expected. It was a learning curve."
What is the #1 mistake people make in starting a business?
Not researching the market very well. I think a lot of times people just have an idea and they wanna go for it and they're excited but they don't understand who their competitors are, they don't research if a business has a similar name, and they don't have any trademarks or start up costs available to them. They just put it out and I think that works sometimes but when you're trying to turn your cash and creativity into a business, you can't do that.
What is your advice for going into business with a friend?
A lot of times I see partnerships with friends go wrong. There wasn't an understanding in the beginning regarding profit and who pays for what, the different roles and responsibilities that each person has, and some people may be upset that some people are getting social media or print media shine as opposed to the other one, so these types of things I deal with often.
A lot of people just go off of friendship, but you want the friendship to last, so have these hard discussions in the beginning and if you're uncomfortable, then bring a third party in to do it on your behalf so you can maintain the friendship even during business. Understand that you can go into business with a friend but definitely have those conversations in the beginning. That's why a lot of people say don't do it because they don't have those conversations when doing business with a friend.
Highlight the roles and responsibilities and you do that by simply pulling out a piece of paper and say, 'You're gonna do this and that.' If [we] are making money, are we splitting the money? Are we putting the money back into the business? You can write everything down on a piece of paper and have both sign it and that's a binding contract.
How should an entrepreneur determine their salary?
I think it depends on – one, is this your full time job? Do you need a salary? How much is the business making? Is it more important to grow the business or give yourself some money? It depends on the type of business but for me, I'd just put all the money back into the business.
You might need marketing, there might be printing, mailing. If you have a website, then you have to pay the fees for the website so it's kinda just determining the money you have in upfront costs and ongoing costs and if you can physically do it. Then again, it depends on the business. [For example], are you selling a product or is it service-based?
Keep up with Desiree on Instagram @desiree_talley or check out her website Talleylawgroup.net! You can also check out her podcast here.
Answers have been edited for length and clarity.
Why can’t (more) singles just be single and be okay with that? Good Lord. Why does there need to be some sort of relational play-on-words to make it sound like we’re with someone — even if we’re not?
Now masturdating? Even though it’s not even close to being a “real” word, it’s something that also brought a laugh outta me — although it was then followed by a genuine smile. The laugh because I almost immediately caught the play-on-words. The smile was due to the intention behind it all.
If you’re not familiar with what masturdating is and you’re curious about why you should even care, take a few moments to at least skim through what it’s about and why I think participating, as a single person, is a pretty cool (and effective) concept.
@knotlukas Masturdate: a date w oneself
What’s Masturdating All About?
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Masturdating. Okay, so let the word marinate for just a moment. What does it sound like? Yeah…exactly. And since a huge part of masturbation centers around self-pleasure, it’s cool to explore how “self-dating” could produce similar (as far as pleasure is concerned in a broader sense) results. Because masturdating is all about spending quality time with yourself, pampering yourself, treating yourself— and yes, taking yourself out on dates.
Any of you who may think that masturdating is a consolation prize — and a pitiful one at that — for not being able to go out with another human being or get that dream $200 first date that social media was all in a tizzy about last year (bookmark that) — personally, I think that you’re the demographic who needs to try out masturdating first and the most. Why? Off top, I’ll share my three good reasons.
3 Reasons To Strongly Consider Masturdating
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1. It’s an intimate way to get to know yourself better. I’ve been working with couples for a pretty long time at this point and if there’s a pattern that I see arise, OFTEN, it’s that two people are oftentimes so busy trying to “find their person” that they didn’t even know who they were. As a direct result, they found themselves in a relationship with someone who only complemented the “kiddie pool version” of who they were.
That’s why it can be so beneficial to spend time getting to know yourself on the “deep end” of things: what makes you tick, what your passions are, what you want most out of life, what are your interests beyond obvious things — and masturdating can help you to discover all of this. Whether it’s traveling alone or taking out a weekend to drink some wine and journal, the more you get to know yourself, the clearer you’ll be about who complements you on a romantic and friendship level.
2. It will definitely help to boost your confidence levels. I guess since I’m an ambivert, I don’t really get why people freak out at the mere thought of going to a restaurant or movie alone. Personally, I think it requires a helluva lot more energy and gumption to wait around and plan stuff with other people (#Elmoshrug). However, whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, there’s no way around the fact that the more comfortable you get with doing things alone, the more your confidence levels will increase — no, soar — because of it.
One article that I read on the topic said that doing things alone can make you more creative, improve your mental health, and help you to be totally okay with being alone (so that you’re not “needy” for other people’s attention). A psychotherapist from a New York Times article on the benefits of spending time alone said, “Getting better at identifying moments when we need solitude to recharge and reflect can help us better handle negative emotions and experiences, like stress and burnout.” And when you’re able to stare negativity in its face without flinching, how could that not make you bolder, more self-secure, and hopeful about your life?
3. It will teach you to value your time more effectively. In every facet of your world, you’re gonna operate from a healthier place if you’re operating from a “full cup” rather than an empty one. When it comes to this topic, think about it — if you’re constantly waiting on someone to call you to go out or wishing for a dream date with some guy, all you’re doing is wasting precious time that you could be spending taking a cooking class or hell, hiring a chef to make you dinner at your own home.
Indeed, waiting has two sides to it: when it’s in the form of patience, it is indeed a virtue, yet when it’s wrapped up in the notion that you’re not really living life unless you have an audience…it is totally working against you. Choose wisely.
10 Solo Date Ideas To Help You To “Master” Masturdating
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So, what if you’re someone who has either never considered actually masturdating before or you don’t really know what to do beyond dinner and the movies? Here are a few ideas to consider:
1. Attend a workshop or masterclass that you’re interested in. If there’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn, sign up for a workshop or masterclass. The cool thing about this option is there are probably some in your city, as well as some that you can find online (like here) that are convenient and affordable.
2. Binge-read at a local coffee shop. Aside from their coziness and oftentimes inviting scents, I once read that a lot of us gravitate to coffee shops because we can be around people without having to actually socialize with them. So, if you want to “hang out” while still being able to enjoy a bit of solitude, take a book that you’ve been trying to finish to a local coffee shop, order your favorite latte, and sit in a big-ass comfy chair. Usually, you can sit there for hours, and the staff will be just fine with it (another bonus).
3. Have a spa day in the next town. You can never go wrong with a spa day. And while going with a friend can be fun, sometimes there’s too much talking transpiring to be able to fully chill out and relax. So, go off of the grid, get a change of scenery, and hit up a spa in the next city (or town). There are lots of studies out here supporting that day trips or “daycations” can actually be really good for your long-term health and well-being.
4. See a community play. Some of the best solo dates that I’ve ever been on consisted of taking in some of the local arts in my city. What’s really cool about this particular option is, oftentimes, they are extremely inexpensive, if not totally free of charge (in exchange for making a donation or putting money into a tip jar).
5. Plan a trip. Whenever people say something along the lines of, “If you don’t expect anything, you won’t be disappointed,” I know that they low-key have some (additional) healing to do from past disappointments. There’s simply too much intel out here to support that anticipation (of good stuff) makes us more motivated and optimistic, keeps our dopamine levels up, and makes life more exciting overall.
Since traveling alone is more cost-effective, gives you the freedom to do whatever you want (when you want), and increases the possibility of meeting new people and having new experiences on your journey — why not devote a day this weekend to planning a solo trip? All the way around, it’s good for you.
6. Try your hand at your own “$200 date.” Uh-huh. Roll your eyes if you want to, but it’s real easy to talk left about how a man should be able to just drop $200 like it’s nothing…until you actually try to do it. So yes, while taking yourself out on this type of date could serve as a bit of a reality check, it can also “scratch the itch” of waiting on some dude to do it for you. It’s also way less emotionally draining because, at least when you’re taking your own self out, it’s guaranteed that you’ll enjoy the company…right?
7. DIY some pampering. When you get a chance, check out “5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself,” “Want To Love On Yourself? Try These 10 Things At Home.,” “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” and “When's The Last Time You Actually Pampered Your Vagina?” The bottom line here is pampering is all about, not mere self-maintenance; it’s all about treating yourself to levels of EXTREME SELF-INDULGENCE. So, if nothing else tickles your fancy on this list, at least consider doing that, chile.
8. Feed your creativity. Something that I used to be really good at is art. That said, one of my goddaughters is insanely talented, so she has reminded me to tap back into it. Also, a big part of what got me into the writing world is poetry; I actually used to be a house poet at a local spot. Sometimes, my best quality time moments with myself have been revisiting these creative sides of me — and this is definitely easier to do (and enjoy) alone.
9. Try some stargazing. When’s the last time you took a blanket into your backyard, laid down on it, and just stared at the stars for hours on end? While some say that stargazing can teach you to be mindful, others say that being in that form of nature reduces stress, while others believe that looking up at the universe at night can increase your attention span. All solid reasons to give it a shot, if you ask me.
10. DO. ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. Let me tell you something that nobody will ever be able to make me feel bad about: doing absolutely nothing. I’ve got data to back me up. Good Housekeeping shares that doing nothing can help you decide how you want to respond or react to certain things. I like howThe Guardian says that taking this approach helps you to regain control of what you give your attention to.
TIME magazine says that it can ultimately make you more productive.BBC offers up that it can help you tap into your ingenuity.Henry Ford Health says that it can make you kinder and a better problem-solver. So, if you want to invest in yourself, do nothing sometimes.
Closing Thoughts from the Lovely Javicia Leslie
While some of y'all may know Javicia Leslie from being the former Batwoman, I discovered her back in the day from the indie series Chef Julian (and yes, "Julian" was right to say that "Mo" looks like Tatyana Ali...the real ones know). Sometimes I'll hop on her IG to see what she's got going on and this story popped up within a few hours of me penning this...so, I took it as hella confirmation.
TREAT YO SELF. WAIT FOR NO ONE.
WAIT FOR NO ONE. TREAT YO SELF.
RINSE AND REPEAT.
_____
Sooo…what kind of masturdating plans do you have for this coming weekend? While going out with others has its perks, hanging out with yourself has a ton of ‘em too. Enjoy!
No…for real. ENJOY!
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