Recently, a guy told me that he wasn't into dating because he felt that it came with too much pressure. To him, when it came to getting to know a woman a little better, he preferred to go to her house (or have her come to his) and watch a movie or something.
Geez. If you could only see my face right now. Before "Netflix and Chill" was a phrase on a graphic T-shirt, I never thought "dating at home" was a good idea. What I mean by that is the first five dates or so, that needs to be about two people not only getting to know one another but showing the effort that they are willing to invest in doing so. When all a guy does is come over, eat up your food and use up your electricity while watching something on your television…not only does that come off as rather lazy on his part, on your end, it also doesn't really convey what your expectations are—when it comes to exploring the possibility of a relationship.
So yeah, if there is a mutual attraction between you and someone new, please require that you both go outside of one another's residences for the first few dates. And then also, in the effort to set a few more standards, make sure that open communication is a top priority. Oh, and if you happen to hear the following things come out of your date's mouth, I strongly suggest that you reconsider going on another outing with him and that you definitely don't give him the honor of dinner and a movie at your crib any time soon.
“Let’s just take things as they come.”
This final red flag is more for after you've been on three or more dates. If I've said it once, I've said it a billion times before, I'm not a fan of the word "casual" because it literally means that things are transpiring in an apathetic or indifferent way with no serious intentions or thought of commitment.
That said, unfortunately, a lot of women think that just because the guy is a great date, they are headed towards something serious. A man can be romantic, a great conversationalist and have amazing chemistry with you and still only see you on a casual level.
If you're interested in dating for the purpose of it growing into something more serious and lasting, after three dates, it's perfectly fine to bring that up. If while you're talking, he breaks eye contact, fidgets and says something along the lines of, "Well…let's see", there's about an 60-70 percent red flag in that. While he could be someone who lives in the moment, chances are, he's more like the guy who hates talking about commitment on any real level. If he doesn't even want to even discuss it, what makes you think he's in a rush to actually do it?
Again, I'm not saying you have to call it quits with this kind of man, but if after six months, nothing has really changed—as it relates to any of these flags—don't say I didn't give you a heads up that he very well could've been totally wasting your time. Just sayin'.
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