Eat Up, Sis. Thanksgiving Foods That Are Great For Your Sex Life.
Whenever the seasons change or a holiday rolls around, I try and find a way to incorporate sex into it. For instance, last month, I wrote about how to have Halloween-themed sex and, last year, I wrote "Here's How To Have Some Really Great Fall-Themed Sex". Today, in honor of Thanksgiving—and the fact that all of us who are actually here to see it in our right mind, most definitely have much to be grateful for after all that 2020 manifested—I figured I'd focus on traditional Thanksgiving foods that can actually make your sex life better.
Hopefully, this will accomplish two things. One, it will motivate you to do a little cooking this year and two, it will prevent you from overeating so that you can have a little dessert—wink, wink—once you're done. So, let's dig into 10 Thanksgiving-themed foods that are delicious—in the kitchen as well as the bedroom. (By the way, if you click on some of the food reference links, they will take you to a few recipes. No need to thank me. It's all good.)
1. Turkey
What in the world would Thanksgiving be without turkey (especially fried turkey, but I digress)? Health-wise, turkey is off-the-charts, in the best way possible, when it comes to protein. Turkey is also a good source of nutrients like vitamins B3, B6 and B12, selenium, phosphorus and zinc (bookmark that zinc part; I'll be circling back around to it in just a sec) and the amino acid tryptophan. The selenium in turkey helps to balance your thyroid. The Vitamin B6 helps to give your system energy. And, aside from tryptophan being able to produce what is so well known in the Black community as "the itis", that amino acid is also great at strengthening your immune system as well.
On the sex tip, turkey earns itself a round of applause because of the zinc that it's got. Not only does zinc help to increase the level of sexual arousal in both men and women, it can help your partner to maintain his erection longer too. Turkey legs for everyone!
2. Herb Stuffing
Aside from turkey, probably the most popular Thanksgiving dish is stuffing. Well, if it's really good, it's gonna have hella seasonings in it, right? If you happen to make stuffing that has garlic and sage in it, you are doing your body a world of good! Garlic is good for you because it contains potent properties that can help to fight heart disease, high blood pressure, cancer cells and, thanks to its antiviral, antimicrobial and antifungal properties specifically, it's a beast when it comes to stopping colds and the flu in their tracks. Sage is dope because it contains a fair amount of Vitamin K and antioxidants that can help to support your oral health, improve your memory, keep your bones strong, slow down signs of aging and even reduce menopause-related symptoms.
The reason why these both are must-have seasonings for your (cornbread) stuffing is because garlic has the organosulfur compound allicin in it; allicin is able to increase blood circulation in your body, including when it comes to your sex organs. Meanwhile, sage can help to keep your estrogen and progesterone levels balanced (the more balanced your hormones are, the better and sexier you'll feel) while decreasing your stress hormone cortisol, so that you're less anxious and way more calm.
Au Gratin Potatoes
As far as potatoes go, definitely sweet potatoes are the healthiest. Matter of fact, they are actually considered to be a "perfect food" (I shouted out that very point in an article about your diet vs. your sex life here). But today, since it seems that white potatoes oftentimes get a bad rap, I decided to share some of the benefits that come from eating them from time to time too. White potatoes contain a good amount of protein, fiber, vitamins B6 and C, potassium, manganese and magnesium. They also are filled with antioxidants, can help to balance out your blood sugar levels, can improve your digestion and are totally gluten-free.
It's the potassium in white potatoes that specifically make them a sex drive increaser. For one thing, potassium is able to help to regulate your thyroid while increasing sex hormone production in men. Plus, people who deal with depression-related symptoms are oftentimes low in potassium, so knowing that it can put you in a better mood is one reason to serve up some au gratin potatoes this year.
4. Roasted Asparagus
Let me just go ahead and say this on the front end—if you like to give fellatio, you might wanna skip out on this dish. On the other hand, if you borderline hate giving head, serving up some roasted asparagus may be ideal. The reason why I say that is because, some people have claimed that when their partner has asparagus within a day of engaging in oral sex, it has sometimes created an odor that is a little, let's say "odd".
Still, asparagus makes the list of semi-traditional Thanksgiving foods that are great for sex because it's a veggie that is high in folate which triggers histamine production in your body. Histamine is an organic chemical compound that helps to boost sexual arousal and can even make it easier for us to orgasm. Now do you see why it's on here?
As far as other reasons why roasted asparagus is a great Thanksgiving side dish, it's got protein, fiber, antioxidants, a good amount of Vitamin K and a fair amount of vitamins A, B1 and C. All of this can work together to lower your blood pressure, reduce bodily inflammation and protect your skin from damaging UV rays.
5. Cranberry Sauce
Pretty much the only berries that are in its peak shape during this time of the year are cranberries. When it comes to their health benefits, cranberries are considered to be a superfood because they're high in antioxidants, vitamins A, B, C and K, potassium and magnesium, with even a bit of zinc and iron too. It's especially a good idea to add them to your diet because cranberries can help to reduce your risk of heart disease, improve your oral health and they're awesome at keeping UTIs at bay.
Without question, cranberry sauce is a signature Thanksgiving treat. The reason why you should make (or serve) some this year is because the Vitamin B in them can increase your drive while the Vitamin C in them can help to synthesize your androgen, estrogen and progesterone hormones, so that you're able to stay sexually aroused.
6. Cloves
Smoked ginger chicken with cloves. Moroccan hummus that's flavored with cloves. Homemade ginger snaps (the best ones contain cloves). These are just some of the dishes that you can offer up on Thanksgiving that have another edible item that can boost your libido. Yep. You've guessed it—cloves.
Aside from the fact that this particular spice contains a good amount of fiber, antioxidants and manganese, cloves have antimicrobial properties that can kill the kind of bacteria that leads to tooth decay. Cloves also have a reputation for being able to regulate blood sugar, increase liver health, fight the development of cancer cells, reduce stomach ulcers, make your bones stronger and also boost your libido.
On the libido tip, cloves are effective because they're the kind of spice that can warm up your body while increasing blood flow, including to your genital region. And since they can also increase your energy levels, I'm pretty sure you can see why I thought that they just had to go on this list.
7. Red Wine
Ain't nothin' wrong with a glass—or a bottle—of red wine over the holidays. It's good for you because it's the kind of alcoholic drink that is filled with antioxidants. Plus, red wine can help to keep your heart healthy, it's able to protect your body from radical cells, it can balance out your blood sugar levels and it can even reduce the risk of experiencing depression-related symptoms.
And yep, red wine is good for your sex drive too. The main reasons are because it not only has the ability to increase your sex drive, but studies have found that red wine can cause women to produce more lubrication too. Just make sure to drink enough to get tipsy and not drunk. The flip side is too much alcohol can zap your energy.
8. Hot Chocolate
A cup of hot chocolate on a cold fall day, whether it's Thanksgiving or not, is always divine. If the drink is homemade with a good amount of dark chocolate in it, you'll be enjoying something that is an excellent source of fiber, antioxidants, iron, magnesium, copper, potassium, zinc and manganese. All of these things can help to protect your skin from damaging UV rays, protect your heart, improve your brain function, fight off free radicals, boost your mood, reduce your risk of getting diabetes and can control your appetite which can ultimately lead to weight loss over time.
Sipping a little with your Thanksgiving evening dessert can increase blood circulation throughout your entire body. And, since dark chocolate is proven to be able to trigger the production of serotonin and dopamine in your system, drinking some hot chocolate can make you want to get extra close to your partner as well. #drinkup
9. Apple Crisp
Most of us have heard the saying "an apple a day keeps the doctor away". Well, when you stop to think about all of the good things that can come from eating this piece of fruit, there actually can be quite a bit of truth within that statement. First up, apples are a good source of fiber and Vitamin C, plus it contains small amounts of many other vitamins and minerals including vitamins A, B, E and K along with manganese, potassium and copper. As far as health benefits go, apples are great because they help to keep your cholesterol levels in check, can lower your diabetes risk, promote good gut health, will protect your lungs from oxidative stress and even apples even help to stop your brain from experiencing mental decline
And just what can apples do for your libido? Well, because they are full of the flavonoid (which is an antioxidant) called quercetin, apples are able to increase blood circulation to your genitalia, help to fight erectile dysfunction in men and also strengthen sexual desire in women. Apple crisp, anyone?
10. Pumpkin Pie
Last year, I watched a video that addressed the long-standing debate within the Black community about what's better—sweet potato or pumpkin pie (Tony Baker and KevOnStage debated it here and Kev had some friends try pumpkin pie here). Personally, I like them both; however, on the sex tip, it's gonna be pumpkin pie for the win, each and every time!
Aside from the fact that the combination of pumpkin and lavender essential oils can increase a man's erection speed by as much as 40 percent (crazy, right?), pumpkins are another food that are high in zinc (we already discussed what zinc does) and omega-3 fatty acids which can help to balance out the prostaglandins (hormone-like substances), so that you are able to maintain great sexual health.
And since pumpkin is also a signature Thanksgiving fruit that is loaded with Vitamin A, protein, fiber while also being a good source of Vitamin C, copper, potassium and manganese, and since it can also help to strengthen your visual, boost your immune system, give you healthy skin, protect your heart and reduce your risks of being diagnosed with a chronic disease—why in the world would you not wanna serve up a delicious homemade pumpkin pie this year? Eat up and enjoy. On every level, y'all!
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
From Heartbreak To Healing: The Multifaceted Journey Of Nazanin Mandi
Nazanin Mandi is never out of options.
About a year ago, the 37-year-old life coach and actress was navigating life after divorce and determined to experience homeownership for the first time as a single woman. She’d been married to the R&B singer Miguel for three years, following a long-term relationship that started when she was 18 years old. But, in 2022, she filed for divorce. It was certainly the most public change she made but, in reality, it was just one of many decisions to refocus and reach her full potential in recent years.
“During my 20s, I was not ready for more. I was living a really crazy life. It was unpredictable. I was helping somebody else grow. It was a lot, and it was intense. I was not pouring into myself the way I should’ve been,” she says in an xoNecole exclusive.
Still, as Mandi worked to get to know herself and her needs during this new phase of life, she realized the home she’d purchased wasn’t a good fit. Overwhelmed by the echoing of her voice in the spacious home, she had a breakdown and called her cousin, who immediately suggested she lease the home and live somewhere else. “I woke up in my house, and I was like, ‘This is not it for me,” she says. “All those years, I had been accustomed to living a certain way [and] in a certain house, so I bought myself a house like [my old home]. But my family was not the same. Waking up in that house by myself, it highlighted the divorce. I was like, ‘Oh, no, we can’t do this. This is not it.’ My life has changed, so my choices need to change.” At that moment, Mandi became open to the idea that there wasn’t one set way to achieve ownership on her own.
“I feel so much better. I’m in a smaller place. My best friend lives a minute from me and I can walk to her house,” she tells me during a Zoom interview from her home one recent afternoon in early February. In the past two years, she hasn’t just been advising other people on varying circumstances, she’s also been healing herself.
"During my 20s, I was not ready for more. I was living a really crazy life. It was unpredictable. I was helping somebody else grow. It was a lot, and it was intense. I was not pouring into myself the way I should’ve been."
Credit: Solmaz Saberi
If supporters began following Nazanin Mandi because of her conventional beauty or the contagious, bright, white smile she often wears in many of her photos, that’s likely not the reason they’ve stuck around. Instead, she’s amassed a following based on her transparency about her own anxiety and depression, along with the encouraging messages of self-acceptance, gratitude, ambition, and humility that are often sprinkled into her social media posts.
In an era where looking at Instagram photos of models can often lead to feelings of self-doubt and insecurity, Nazanin Mandi is determined to be more than eye candy. She’s food for her follower’s souls, too.
Since being recruited to model while dining at an In-N-Out at 10 years old, Mandi has worked in many areas of entertainment. The Valencia, California native has modeled for brands such as Olay, Savage X Fenty, and Good American. As a teen, she sang at Carnegie Hall and auditioned for season 1 of American Idol, making it all the way to Hollywood before producers disqualified her for lying about her age. (Mandi was 15 at the time, and contestants had to be at least 16 years old.) Mandi has acted, too, including appearing on Disney’s That’s So Raven as a teenager and on the BET+ series Games People Play and the Prime series Á La Carte in more recent years.
In recent years, though, she’s also expanded her professional goals outside of entertainment, too. After becoming a certified life coach in 2020, Mandi launched the membership platform You Bloome in 2022 with the hopes of providing wellness services to others, including her self-published gratitude journal. “I wish I had access to something like You Bloome earlier in my own life,” she writes on the company’s website. The actress, who has been forthcoming about her struggles with anxiety and depression, has never had a life coach, but credits therapy as a tool that “really, really saved me and it laid the foundation to who I am becoming.”
Credit: Solmaz Saberi
"I’m trying to find the balance between living life and knowing that whatever is meant for me is going to happen, but also know that I’m doing everything in my power to make those things happen and better myself."
While she’s always had a nurturing personality, Mandi says her interest in becoming a life coach was inspired by the women who would message her for advice on social media. “I would answer them back. It really sparked a fire within myself to help people,” she says.
You Bloome currently has three membership tiers, ranging in price from $2.99 to $39.99 per month. The highest tier offers a motivational text message twice a week, two live, group coaching sessions per month, and more. “We get emotional. We cry. We laugh. It’s really beautiful. I’ve built close relationships with my members through this. It’s been inspiring both ways,” Mandi says of the sessions. Still, the founder says she hopes to take on more motivational and keynote speaking opportunities in the future with the hopes of impacting as many people as possible.
And, she’s hoping to do all of this while continuing to explore a career as an entertainer.
At this point in her life, Mandi says she’s gained enough perspective on modeling, music, and acting to realize what she wants to prioritize moving forward. “We are going full force with acting,” she says, noting her goal is “to book a series regular or a film that impacts my career and the world.” She plans to continue to model, too, but has no desire to pursue music.
“I don’t want any part of that because I know what that life entails,” she says. “I don’t want to tour. I don’t want to do any of that. That is not where my heart is at.”
Credit: Solmaz Saberi
If you ask Mandi, she’ll tell you she feels most comfortable in front of a camera, but she’ll also admit that she’s recently experienced a lot of imposter syndrome when thinking about her acting career. “I think it’s a fear of not succeeding,” she says. If anything, she adds, she’s harder on herself now than she’s ever been. “There were distractions before. There’s no distractions now,” she says. “I’m putting pressure on myself for no reason.”
This is where the life coach’s own personal healing comes into play. Mandi says she’s learning recently that “slow progress is still big progress at the end of the day.”
“Currently, I’m trying to find the balance between living life and knowing that whatever is meant for me is going to happen, but also know that I’m doing everything in my power to make those things happen and better myself,” she adds.
Still, one of Mandi’s strengths is that she doesn’t feel the pressure to limit herself to just one passion. From working as a life coach to pursuing acting, she has given herself grace to explore all other dreams.
“We can be allowed to be many different things in this lifetime,” she says. “As people, our identities are allowed to expand. Don’t put us in a fucking box. I cannot live that way anymore.”
For more of Nazanin, follow her on Instagram @nazaninmandi.
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Featured image by Solmaz Saberi
How To Discover What Your Dating Needs Are, According To An Expert
It's no secret that the dating scene is different from our parents' generation, so as a hopeful romantic, many parts of me feel like I was born in the wrong lifetime. My mother often says that she feels like my husband will be a bit older than me; perhaps that was her way of telling me that she hopes I find someone more mature. But these days, between the countless podcasts debating gender roles and discussions online of who brings what to the table, finding your person can feel hopeless.
Still, people are finding love every day, so how can we go from being amongst the brokenhearted and nonbelievers? How can we get to the meat of what our needs truly are to find the love we've been searching for? Beverley Andre, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist says that the key is getting out of your own way.
Q: How can we get in our own way when it comes to relationships?
A: We get in our own way in relationships by having rigid expectations that make it difficult or impossible for someone to meet. I know this is a hot topic regarding having and maintaining standards, but there’s a fine line between reasonable expectations and creating a barrier that is nearly impossible to break through.
You have to assess the standards and see if they are genuinely in protection of you and maintain the standard of how you want to be treated, or are the standards fueled by fear and what you're really trying to do is avoid feeling hurt and disappointed, so you create this cycle where you set impossible standards that no one can meet, therefore limiting the possibility of close intimate relationships, leaving you feeling lonely and frustrated.
Q: In this dating age and era, how can we determine what our needs are versus our wants?
A: Your needs are tied to the core values and belief systems, while the wants are personality and lifestyle considerations, so I recommend creating a list of both. Identify your core values early on because those are your principles and qualities that matter most to you in a relationship. Those values are fundamental to your overall well-being. For example, do you want to be with someone who wants children, has integrity, and aligns on finances? Your values should be your deal-breakers that weed out people who are not in alignment.
For wants, think of physical, personality, and lifestyle traits that aren’t necessarily deal-breakers, aren’t tied to someone’s core traits, and don’t compromise your mental wellness. For instance, enjoying 100% of the same interests, specific physical attributes, and shared cultural background. As an extra measure, I recommend discussing your needs and wants with a trusted inner circle and getting their feedback. An inner circle should give you fair feedback instead of just agreeing with it because they’re within the inner circle.
"Your needs are tied to the core values and belief systems, while the wants are personality and lifestyle considerations."
Q: Are there fundamental needs that everyone should have or has on some level in romantic partnerships?
A: Yes, to be seen and heard. No one wants to be in a romantic partnership where they feel invisible, and their needs are met with consistent resistance just because it’s different from their partner. One of the core issues I see with couples is their inability to make space for their partner’s voice and influence. They find it difficult to see the value in what their partner is saying, especially if it contradicts their thoughts and opinions. Therefore, they register it as not being good enough and lacking merit and then get into a cycle where they inadvertently want their partner to change their minds and prove to them why they have a point.
Q: What are different examples of needs that everyone has?
A: Respect, open communication, similar values, sexual chemistry, and feeling safe emotionally and physically.
Q: How can we get to the meat of what our needs are so we can in turn get better at communicating what our needs are from an empowered place versus a disempowered one?
A: Identify your unmet childhood needs and heal them. I often see people trying to heal these wounds in relationships with people who aren’t responsible for creating them or fixing them. You can communicate your needs from an empowered and healthy place if you’re not starving. Getting to the meat of your needs will require self-exploration, curiosity, and patience to understand why the need is even a need.
"Identify your unmet childhood needs and heal them. You can communicate your needs from an empowered and healthy place if you’re not starving."
Q: What do you find your clients who are succeeding in relationships have done differently in explaining their needs to their partner?
A: They have done the self-work and healing to know their needs through individual and/or couple’s therapy. Most of the clients I’ve worked with never had the space to develop their thoughts around their needs. They’ve adopted their needs based on what they’ve seen in their personal lives from family growing up, movies, and now social media. Until you have a healthy relationship with yourself, where you’ve identified your needs and are meeting them, it isn’t easy to have that with someone else. You can’t communicate and give what you don’t know and have.
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