Tabitha Brown Opens Up About Her Success And Why It Is Important to Stay True to Oneself
The amount of courage it takes an individual not to give up on their dreams or aspirations while trusting God's plans and refusing to compromise themselves despite failing to see immediate gratification for their hard work showcases just how strong that person is.
One star that fits that particular description is Tabitha Brown. Before becoming a household name as a social media personality, Emmy-nominated host, entrepreneur, author, and so much more, Brown was just trying to break into Hollywood as an actress.
Although in the past, Brown shared that growing up, she always envisioned herself being a performer, her story didn't begin until the mid-2000s when she and her family moved to California so that she could pursue her acting career. In addition to attending auditions, Brown would take on odd jobs, such as working at a Macy's warehouse and becoming an Uber Driver.
The star's first brush with fame --aside from previously co-hosting an entertainment show for a local North Carolina television station-- occurred in 2017 when Brown shared a video that went viral of a Whole Foods vegan sandwich in her car while taking a brief break from her Uber duties.
That particular post would lead to a brand ambassador deal with the company. Brown's success continues beyond there. Three years later, in March 2020, as the global pandemic hit and many were forced into isolation, Brown started posting inspirational and vegan food videos on TikTok. Her posts would immediately go viral, gaining millions of fans almost overnight. To date, Brown has five million followers on TikTok.
Many, including Brown, can attest she became successful in various avenues for three reasons: her authenticity, loving personality, and being intentional.
Tabitha Brown On Being Authentic
Often when many become successful, they would change who they are to fit the particular structure that brands or companies want them to be. But that wasn't the case for Brown.
During a recent interview with Fast Company, the 44-year-old shared that being authentic has allowed her to remain "free" in her career because she didn't have to act a particular way depending on what room she was in and who she was working alongside.
"I've branded myself on just being myself. I don't change who I am because I'm with children. I don't change who I am because I'm at a board meeting. I'm the same Tab. I show up completely free, completely me," Brown explained.
Brown On Leading With Love
Another factor that helped contribute to Brown's accomplishments was that she added love as the main component in everything she's done.
Since the very beginning, Brown would address her fans in many of her videos as if they were family members by always including them in every aspect of her life, from the highs and the lows. At the end of every clip, Brown left them with words of encouragement. The most prominent one is: "Have a good day, and if you can't, don't go messing up nobody else's."
In the interview, Brown also revealed that she learned over time that leading in love with any project she participates in, whether with her cooking videos, books, children's television show, hair care brand, or fashion line, brings people in.
"I lead in love, and I root everything in that—and I think that's what draws people in. I've never claimed to be like an expert, she said. "Honey, I ain't a chef. I ain't been to nobody's chef school, Cordon Bleu, yellow, green, or purple. I am just a woman who cooks for her family, and now it has become a thing."
Brown On Being Intentional
Brown's final reason for her success was setting her intentions on helping others be "seen and heard" as they are.
Brown told the publication, aside from following her own dreams, that after seeing the joy she brought to many people's lives by simply posting a video on social media, regardless of the topic, she made it a priority to participate in things that she knew could help others become precisely who they were meant to be.
"I wake up with that intention," she stated. My intention is to love people, be good to people. My intention is to make someone smile. My intention is make someone feel loved and seen and heard."
Brown's overall journey is an inspirational one. Although she has accomplished a lot over the years, Brown intends to strive for more by eventually expanding her fashion line and starring in a sitcom.
Whatever Brown chooses, it would surely be something well-received because of the foundation behind it.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Aaron J. Thornton/Getty Images
Black women are not a monolith. We all are deserving of healing and wholeness despite what we've been through, how much money we have in the bank, or what we look like. Most importantly, we are enough—even when we are not working, earning, or serving.
Welcome to Black Girl Whole, your space to find the wellness routine that aligns with you! This brand-new marketplace by xoNecole is a safe space for Black women to activate their healing, find the inspiration to rest, and receive reassurance that we are one small act away from finding our happiness.
Want to discover where you are on your wellness journey? You don't have to look far. In partnership with European Wax Center, we're bringing you a customized wellness quiz to help you up your wellness game. Answer our short series of questions to figure out which type of wellness lover you are, what you need to bring more balance into your life, and then go deeper by shopping products geared towards clearing your mind, healing your body, and soothing your spirit.
Ready to get whole? Take our quiz now!
From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
Featured image by skynesher/Getty Images
