

Tabitha Brown Opens Up About Her Success And Why It Is Important to Stay True to Oneself
The amount of courage it takes an individual not to give up on their dreams or aspirations while trusting God's plans and refusing to compromise themselves despite failing to see immediate gratification for their hard work showcases just how strong that person is.
One star that fits that particular description is Tabitha Brown. Before becoming a household name as a social media personality, Emmy-nominated host, entrepreneur, author, and so much more, Brown was just trying to break into Hollywood as an actress.
Although in the past, Brown shared that growing up, she always envisioned herself being a performer, her story didn't begin until the mid-2000s when she and her family moved to California so that she could pursue her acting career. In addition to attending auditions, Brown would take on odd jobs, such as working at a Macy's warehouse and becoming an Uber Driver.
The star's first brush with fame --aside from previously co-hosting an entertainment show for a local North Carolina television station-- occurred in 2017 when Brown shared a video that went viral of a Whole Foods vegan sandwich in her car while taking a brief break from her Uber duties.
That particular post would lead to a brand ambassador deal with the company. Brown's success continues beyond there. Three years later, in March 2020, as the global pandemic hit and many were forced into isolation, Brown started posting inspirational and vegan food videos on TikTok. Her posts would immediately go viral, gaining millions of fans almost overnight. To date, Brown has five million followers on TikTok.
Many, including Brown, can attest she became successful in various avenues for three reasons: her authenticity, loving personality, and being intentional.
Tabitha Brown On Being Authentic
Often when many become successful, they would change who they are to fit the particular structure that brands or companies want them to be. But that wasn't the case for Brown.
During a recent interview with Fast Company, the 44-year-old shared that being authentic has allowed her to remain "free" in her career because she didn't have to act a particular way depending on what room she was in and who she was working alongside.
"I've branded myself on just being myself. I don't change who I am because I'm with children. I don't change who I am because I'm at a board meeting. I'm the same Tab. I show up completely free, completely me," Brown explained.
Brown On Leading With Love
Another factor that helped contribute to Brown's accomplishments was that she added love as the main component in everything she's done.
Since the very beginning, Brown would address her fans in many of her videos as if they were family members by always including them in every aspect of her life, from the highs and the lows. At the end of every clip, Brown left them with words of encouragement. The most prominent one is: "Have a good day, and if you can't, don't go messing up nobody else's."
In the interview, Brown also revealed that she learned over time that leading in love with any project she participates in, whether with her cooking videos, books, children's television show, hair care brand, or fashion line, brings people in.
"I lead in love, and I root everything in that—and I think that's what draws people in. I've never claimed to be like an expert, she said. "Honey, I ain't a chef. I ain't been to nobody's chef school, Cordon Bleu, yellow, green, or purple. I am just a woman who cooks for her family, and now it has become a thing."
Brown On Being Intentional
Brown's final reason for her success was setting her intentions on helping others be "seen and heard" as they are.
Brown told the publication, aside from following her own dreams, that after seeing the joy she brought to many people's lives by simply posting a video on social media, regardless of the topic, she made it a priority to participate in things that she knew could help others become precisely who they were meant to be.
"I wake up with that intention," she stated. My intention is to love people, be good to people. My intention is to make someone smile. My intention is make someone feel loved and seen and heard."
Brown's overall journey is an inspirational one. Although she has accomplished a lot over the years, Brown intends to strive for more by eventually expanding her fashion line and starring in a sitcom.
Whatever Brown chooses, it would surely be something well-received because of the foundation behind it.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Aaron J. Thornton/Getty Images
Exclusive: Gabrielle Union On Radical Transparency, Being Diagnosed With Perimenopause And Embracing What’s Next
Whenever Gabrielle Union graces the movie screen, she immediately commands attention. From her unforgettable scenes in films like Bring It On and Two Can Play That Game to her most recent film, in which she stars and produces Netflix’s The Perfect Find, there’s no denying that she is that girl.
Off-screen, she uses that power for good by sharing her trials and tribulations with other women in hopes of helping those who may be going through the same things or preventing them from experiencing them altogether. Recently, the Flawless by Gabrielle Union founder partnered with Clearblue to speak at the launch of their Menopause Stage Indicator, where she also shared her experience with being perimenopausal.
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
I didn’t think much could get better about the blissful high that comes with oral. That was until I came across the Kivin Method.
As someone who was never a huge fan of oral sex and could largely take it or leave it, I must admit that I have started to come around in recent years. With my head thrown back, hands gripping sheets and hair, and toes curling from the intense sensations of the work my partner is putting in at my center, I now give myself over to the pleasurable act wholly and unapologetically.
When I came across a way to maximize the pleasure I receive from cunnilingus (already), I had no choice but to tap in. Who knew the key to taking oral sex to new heights was giving it a sideways twist? For those of you who might also be interested in ways to spice up the way you do oral, experience faster and stronger orgasms, or simply want to indulge in something new with your partner, the Kivin Method could definitely be the oral sex technique for you, too.
Keep reading to learn about the method that is sure to have you writhing in ecstasy in no time at all.
What Is The Kivin Method?
For the uninitiated, the Kivin Method is an oral sex technique that focuses on stimulating the clitoris from a different angle. Dubbed “sideways oral” by some, this method involves the action of giving head from a side-to-side movement as opposed to the up-and-down motion that people typically perform when giving head. (If you need a visual, this illustration is helpful.)
The difference in approach as you’re receiving head can be a game-changer in how you receive pleasure. Not only does the giving partner have access to the clitoris, but they can also access more easily the vulva and the labia, which are objectively a bigger focus in this version of cunnilingus. More access means wider coverage, and that, plus the new sensation of oral from a different angle, can heighten the way you experience oral sex that much more.
Where more pleasure flows, intense orgasms are sure to follow.
Getty Images
How To Do The Kivin Method
If you want to know how to do the Kivin Method, it’s actually pretty straightforward. The receiver lays on their back while the giver positions themselves perpendicular to the receiver. Their head will be facing the vulva, but instead of vertical, their face will be horizontal to the vulva.
From there, the giver can get to business, ensuring that they keep their head perpendicular to the receiver’s vulva while working on their craft. Because this technique can be more intense for some receivers, start slowly by stroking the vulva and clitoris sideways with the tongue, and allow sensations and communication from the receiver to be a guide of what you need more or less of with the Kivin Method.
Ultimately, the Kivin Method allows experimentation and unlocking what pressure, rhythm, and tricks work best for the giver and the receiver. Try implementing a finger or two, or adding a sex toy to the mix to intensify the act even further.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Delmaine Donson/Getty Images