Regina Hall On The One Thing She'd Tell Her Younger Self About Love
Have you ever sat down and really reflected on love, the definition of it, the action behind it, and the feeling you get when you're immersed in it? Love is powerful. It can make you do things you never imagined. But, what happens when love hurts you to your core? Do you build up a hard exterior as a way to ward men or women off, or shake it off and try again?
Unfortunately, most of us have a difficult time with the thought of starting over again, so we build a wall so hard, the mere idea of romance seems insane.
This scenario is a reality for Jordan Sanders, Regina Hall's character in the new film Little.
Like so many men and women, Jordan can't and won't entertain love because she is so guarded. The closest thing to love Jordan has experienced is regular sex from a man she could care less about. It isn't until Jordan is transformed into her 13-year-old self that she realizes her boy toy is more than a disposable penis. He cares for her so deeply, he's willing to knock down her walls and love her the way she deserves to be loved. It takes Jordan being transformed into a tween to realize what she was missing as an adult.
Can you imagine if we all had the opportunity to transform into the younger versions of ourselves and learn something about the love we so desperately needed or missed?
Celebs On Advice They'd Give Their Younger Self Regarding Love
During the Atlanta premiere of Little, we asked attendees if they could go back and give their younger selves advice on love, knowing what they know now, what would they say?
Regina Hall
Atlanta Red Carpet Screening Of "Little" With Regina Hall, Issa Rae, Marsai Martin, Will Packer And Tina Gordon At Regal Atlantic StationParas Griffin/Getty Images for Universal
"Do not cry over one, there are a million of fish in the sea. Sometimes we have to realize our own worth at a younger age, so we realize we're a blessing. Someone who doesn't appreciate that is not worthy."
Jade Novah
Atlanta Red Carpet Screening Of "Little" With Regina Hall, Issa Rae, Marsai Martin, Will Packer And Tina Gordon At Regal Atlantic StationParas Griffin/Getty Images for Universal
"Being territorial is not synonymous with love. I think ownership has become synonymous with love, and if I knew that wasn't the case at an early age I wouldn't have taken things so seriously. Love is not ownership. Love is not being territorial."
Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms
Atlanta Red Carpet Screening Of "Little" With Regina Hall, Issa Rae, Marsai Martin, Will Packer And Tina Gordon At Regal Atlantic StationParas Griffin/Getty Images for Universal
"Don't take them so seriously! I met my husband when I was 21, and I'm thankful. We joke and I thank him all the time for saving me from having to be out here in the streets looking for a mate. I would say it's not personal. Sometimes it's about the other person's insecurities, and not about you."
If you could go back and give your younger self advice on love, knowing what you know now, what would you say? Leave your answer in the comments below.
Be sure to catch Little in theaters everywhere April 12th.
Featured image by Featureflash Photo Agency / Shutterstock.com
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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