
Normani Talks Letting Go Of The Need To Be Perfect & The Heartbreak Behind "Fair"

Normani has been in the music industry since she was a teenager as a part of the girl group Fifth Harmony. But since their split, the 25-year-old singer has been working hard to prove that she can make it as a solo act.
She released “Motivation” in 2019 with a memorable video that paid tribute to her favorite artists growing up and in that same year she teamed up with Sam Smith for “Dancing with a Stranger.” In 2021, she released the head-bobbing slow jam “Wild Side” featuring Cardi B and shut down the 2021 VMA’s with an incredible performance.
Normani has received a lot of support from people who want to see her win but she is also faced with doubters who question her authenticity as she seems to be projecting an image and not her real self. However, that narrative is changing thanks to her new song “Fair.” Since its debut, “Fair” has earned a lot of praise from fans and artists alike such as her former collaborator Cardi B.
BEAUTIFUL …@Normani you look gorgeous and the song is soo good.Keep going ,keep working. https://t.co/srGojYiBVC
— Cardi B (@iamcardib) March 18, 2022
The song shows Normani’s vulnerable side and it gives fans a peek into the real person behind the artist. The multi-hyphenate sat down with Zane Lowe for Apple Music Radio and they discussed a variety of things such as the story behind “Fair,” letting go of perfection, and her new album being “the best music I’ve made thus far.”
On Being Vulnerable with “Fair”
“This record is another layer of who I am and my experiences and I feel like, I grew up in the public eye so you know it’s been very, very scary and very complicated. A sense of forcing myself into this idea of perfection to protect myself but this is the first time that I’m just free-falling in a sense and it’s scary. This is me being vulnerable and really captures a true and raw point in my experience that I wanted to share.”
On Making “Fair” While She was Experiencing Heartache
“What makes it so special, like I was saying, it captured me in the moment as I was experiencing in real-time. Like I was going through it emotionally. That day I wasn't sure if I could even really pick myself up to go to the studio. But ended up, and this was the result.”
She added, “And it’s therapy for me as much as it is for everyone else it’s for me. Putting this record out I didn’t know it was gonna be for me too.”
On Learning How to Let Go and be Herself
“Being 15 years old and not being able to be a traditional 15-year-old, teenagers make mistakes without getting reprimanded. I really think it took a toll on me in a large way. I guess having that experience so early and I think that I look up and I’m like, ‘damn you’re not even freeing yourself to just be.’ You have such a tight grip and not because I want to, but because I’ve always had to, which is a disservice to me and [my fans.]”
On the Need to Feel Validated
“I had to check myself. I think it was me and James Blake, we were having a conversation. We were just talking about just validation. I’ve never been one to need [applause] but you get used to it and when you don’t it’s like okay, maybe this isn’t—it doesn't feel as important.”
On Wanting to Be More Present
“I’m practicing gratitude too. Because it’s so easy to say and look at what everybody else is doing and what you’re not and then you’re constantly chasing after the next thing and the next thing and the next thing. With 'Motivation' I totally missed it. With 'Wild Side' I promised myself that I wouldn’t and I promised to be so, so present.”
On No Longer Being Hard on Herself
“I’m giving myself grace and I’m allowing myself to go through the process but also have room to grow. I’m sometimes like I wanna do everything, everything has to be—all the time, now, but I’ve never experienced what it was like to be a new artist for me.”
Normani: “Fair,” Moving On After Heartbreak, and Ghosting Zane’s Text | Apple Music
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After Decades-Long Career, Terri J. Vaughn Is Finally The Main Character: Exclusive
Terri J. Vaughn first captured our attention in the late ‘90s as Lovita Alizay Jenkins on The Steve Harvey Show. Decades later, she is starring in her very own series, She The People, which is now available to stream on Netflix.
The political sitcom, which she co-created with Niya Palmer and later teamed up with Tyler Perry Studios, is about a Black woman named Antoinette Dunkerson who runs for lieutenant governor of Mississippi. She wins and becomes the state’s first Black lieutenant governor. Now, she’s forced to balance working with a racist and sexist governor while also trying to keep her family from running amok.
According to the beloved actress, this project was a long time coming. “I’ve been trying to get my own television series for like 20 years, pounding the pavement, meeting with people, getting clothes, being lied to, just a whole bunch of stuff,” she says in an exclusive interview with xoNecole.
“But just keep going, because this is what I do. This is what I love, and I know how important it is for us to continue to show up and make sure that we are seen, make sure that our voices are heard. For several reasons. I just never give up. So here I am, 20 years later, finally sold my show.”
She The People is inspired by the true story of London Breed, who became the first Black female mayor of San Francisco, Terri’s hometown. And to help make the show more authentic, the Cherish the Day actress tapped former Atlanta mayor, Keisha Lance Bottoms to come on as a producer.'“I’ve been trying to get my own television series for like 20 years, pounding the pavement, meeting with people, getting clothes, being lied to, just a whole bunch of stuff."
After bringing the former mayor aboard, it was time to pitch again. And this time, the companies were pitching them. Ultimately, Terri decided to work with Tyler Perry on the series.
“We decided to do it with Tyler for several reasons. I love that. Well, most of the companies we met with were Black-owned companies, but he was the only studio,” she explains. “Tyler is like Walt Disney. That's literally what he is. He has the studio, he has the content. He operates just like Walt Disney.”
And thanks to the cast, the show is nothing short of laughs. The series also stars social media creator Jade Novah as Antoinette’s crazy cousin/ assistant, Shamika, Family Mattersstar Jo Marie Payton as Anotinette’s mom, Cleo, and Terri’s husband, Karon Riley, who plays Michael, her driver and love interest.
While we’ve watched Terri’s career blossom in various ways. From directing to producing, and playing diverse characters, the mom of two says her The Steve Harvey Show character will always be her favorite.
“Well, Lovita was definitely my favorite, especially for my time, the age and everything that I was. Now as a grown ass woman over 50, Antoinette Dunkerson is everything that I've wanted to play. She's everything. She's a mother of two teenagers. She's divorced, so she's co-parenting with her ex-husband. She has to wrangle in a very eclectic family,” she says.
“So I like playing characters that are really flawed and trying to figure it out and doing their best to try to figure it. And she's very flawed and she is trying to figure it out, and she fucks up sometimes. But her heart and what she's trying to do and what her vision is and purpose, it's all for the people. I mean, she the people. She’s for the people, she is the people.”
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Guess What? Guys Get 'Morning Wood' While Women Get 'Morning Bean.'
While checking out a panel on a podcast earlier this week, a guy asked a question that I’m pretty sure others have wondered before, yet didn’t really know who to ask. Although I’m paraphrasing just a bit, he basically said, “My trainer said that the sign of a healthy man is he wakes up horny, hungry and happy. On the horny tip, do women have the male equivalent of morning wood?”
Ah, so glad that you asked, my dear, because the answer is actually “yes.” And because there is such a thing as a “hard-on for a woman,” it is my opinion that people really should engage in more morning sex — but I’ll get into all-a-dat towards the end of this piece.
If you’ve been rockin’ with me for a while, you know that I am good for sharing, what I consider to be water cooler (do offices still even have those?) content — you know, random facts that folks probably don’t know. And today, the topic is the flip side of morning wood for the fellas, which just happens to be something that is known as “morning bean” for the ladies.
Always Remember That Your Clitoris and a Man’s Penis Have a Lot in Common
Hey, get mad/triggered if you want to, yet I am always fascinated whenever I see women teasing and taunting uncircumcised men on social media. For one thing, it causes me to wonder if they do regular vaginal self-exams (check out “Why You Should Give Yourself A ‘Vaginal Self-Exam’”) and/or any vaginal mapping (check out “Why 'Vaginal Mapping' Needs To Be Part Of Your Healing Journey”) — because if you do like sis says in the video below and take a mirror down to view how God made you, you might see some extra skin that you didn’t know was there yourself.
Not only that but clitorises and penises? Oh, they have a helluva lot more in common than either a lot of us know about or care to admit — including foreskin.
Am I serious? Absolutely.
For starters, science speak says that “The human penis and clitoris develop from the ambisexual genital tubercle.” And, as some fetuses develop more androgens, a penis emerges; without those androgens, a clitoris is fully formed. However, since they both start off in a similar way, a penis and a clitoris have, well, similarities.
An uncircumcised penis has foreskin while a clitoris has a clitoral hood. Both the penis and the clitoris grow larger during puberty. The penis and clitoris both contain erectile tissue in them as well — and this means that when they are sexually stimulated, they both become erect. And that, right there, is where the term “morning bean” actually stems from.
The Technical Name Is Nocturnal Clitoral Tumescence (NCT)
Okay, so when a guy wakes up in the morning with a hard-on, the technical term for that is called Nocturnal penile tumescence (NCT). It happens thanks to a combination of a man’s sleep cycles, his nerves, how his blood is circulating throughout his system, and the fact that his testosterone levels tend to be elevated when he is just waking up.
Meanwhile, the female version of this is called Nocturnal clitoral tumescence (NCT); it’s basically what transpires whenever a woman’s clitoris is doing the same thing and the slang term for this is…yep, you guessed it: morning bean (I’m pretty sure that the wood vs. bean comparison is pretty self-explanatory).
So, why have a lot of us never heard about this before?
There are probably several reasons; however, the one that tops my mind is since so much of what makes up a woman’s clitoris is inside of her body, when a clit becomes erect, it’s not nearly as noticeable as when a man’s penis does. Now, that’s not to say that if you really know your body, you aren’t able to pick up on some of the morning bean — or clitoral erection in general — signs, though.
For instance, morning beans can cause your clitoris to become extremely sensitive to the touch and, since they do fill up with blood, the part of the clitoris that you do see does tend to get larger (how much varies per person). Morning beans also tend to cause your clitoris to become darker in color (due to the extra blood) and could result in your vulva (the outer part of your vagina) becoming fuller/swollen as well. And just how long does this experience last? Well, reportedly, morning woods tend to subside after about 30 minutes. For us? As long as we are being sexually stimulated or aroused, a morning bean will stick around.
So, there you have it: just like men wake up with erections, so do women. And what is my greatest takeaway from this very fact? Well, although the best time of day to have sex has a lot to do with personal preference, if the man in your bed wakes up with a hard-on, I wouldn’t waste it if I were you. See, while society has had you thinking that he’s the only one who oftentimes has sex on his mind in the wee hours of the morning, now you know that your body has some dirty thoughts of its own that it would probably like to get off — more often than you would think.
Because it’s not like there aren’t some real bona fide benefits to engaging in morning sex…
Why You Should Absolutely Make the Most Out of Your Own Morning Beans
Although I did share all of what I said as a “something new for the day” fun fact, any time I can get y’all to get the most out of your bed, you know that I’m gonna do it. And yes, morning beans can definitely take your sex life to new heights.
I say that because:
Morning beans will (probably) make it easier for you to cum.Testosterone is a hormone that is present in both men and women (albeit much higher in men; the opposite goes for estrogen); this means that if it is elevated in men in the morning, the same goes for us. And the hornier one is, the easier it tends to usually is to orgasm. Give thanks.
Morning beans will intensify your orgasms. It can’t be said enough that the more blood that is circulating inside of your genitalia, the more likely you are to not just climax, but have more intensified orgasms too. And chile, if that ain’t a motivator for morning sex…what freakin’ is?
Morning sex will de-stress you. Say that you’ve got a presentation to make, a heavy deadline, or just a long day that’s ahead of you. Wouldn’t it be great if you could go into what lies ahead as calm and relaxed as possible? Sex can help to make that happen because it’s proven to reduce cortisol levels, so that you’re in a greater state of tranquility.
Morning sex will help you to be more energized and in a better mood. Didn’t sleep well, and so you’re exhausted? Woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and so you’re not in the best of moods? Sex can resolve both of these matters, thanks to the fact that copulation helps to stimulate feel-good hormones and endorphins. Hmph. Sounds better than the usual cup of coffee hack to me (check out “Your Morning Coffee May Be Causing More (Health) Issues Than You Think”).
Morning sex will make you feel more connected to your partner. I tend to mention oxytocin quite a bit in my content, so you’re probably quite familiar with the fact that it helps to bond you to your partner. Well, since oxytocin is at an all-time high during sex (and especially orgasms), if you want to feel especially close to your man (as he feels the same towards you) while the two of you are apart throughout the day — yep, you already know: get it in.
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Listen, I don’t know if you will ever run into someone who asks about clitoral erections — i.e., morning beans. If they do, though, now you have a thorough answer to offer.
And either way, now you also have a reason to let wood and a bean work together to wake you up instead of that dreaded alarm clock.
Again, sis. Give thanks.
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