

Ain’t it crazy that, with all of the science that’s floating around here, no one has been able to find a cure for the common cold (yet)? And since reportedly, a whopping one billion of us catch one every year and since they also have the potential to annoyingly run between 7-10 days, each and every time the virus happens to catch hold of one of us, and since most of us don’t have the luxury to just take off work whenever a cold comes our way, I thought it would be cool to do y’all a solid and share some tips that can help to cut, shoot, at least a couple of days off of the longevity of your cold, so that you can get to feeling like your old self again in no time.
1. Pour Some Peroxide into Your Ears
I’ll tell you what — while it’s annoying as all get out, on the rare occasions when I do feel a cold coming on, if I’m able to catch the first signature symptom quickly enough (for me, it’s a sore throat), I’m usually able to nip it in the bud by pouring half a cupful of hydrogen peroxide into each ear and letting it sit for 5-10 minutes (wait for the bubbling to stop). Apparently, what it does is kill bacteria and virus cell walls, so that they aren’t able to continue to grow. The key here is to go with a three percent grade. Again, I can’t think of too many things that are more irritating (sensation-wise) yet if you can bear it, it’s worth it. Oftentimes, I won’t even get a full-on cold when I do it. Real talk.
2. Suck on Some Zinc Lozenges
As far as the common cold goes, most of them are caused by a virus known as the rhinovirus. It makes you sick because, when it gets a hold of your upper respiratory system (throat and nasal passages), it tends to multiply and lead to cold symptoms. The reason why zinc can be beneficial in shortening the lifespan of a cold is there is data to support that it is beneficial when it comes to keeping the rhinovirus from thriving; it also can stop it from “putting roots down” into your nose and throat.
Since zinc is also beneficial when it comes to strengthening your immune system and reducing oxidative stress, it is an absolute must that you keep some zinc lozenges close by.
3. Up Your Vitamin C and D
Because Vitamin C is a top-tier antioxidant and antioxidants help to keep your immune system nice and strong, this is why it’s a “signature nutrient” for getting over a cold. However, it should go on record that there’s no point in “overdoing it” when it comes to Vitamin C because it only stores what it needs (the rest, you end up urinating out). However, you can never go wrong with having some citrus fruit, orange juice, or even some broccoli, Brussels sprouts, or potatoes when you’re sick. They all can help you to feel much better.
Speaking of vitamins, make sure to get some Vitamin D in there too. Again, while there is currently not a cure for the common cold, there are studies to support that upping your Vitamin D intake can reduce the longevity of the infection by 10-15 percent. Foods high in Vitamin D include salmon, tuna, egg yolks, mushrooms, and fortified cereals (watch the milk, though; that can “trigger” mucus production. A milk alternative is so much better).
4. Take Some Elderberry Syrup
Elderberries are dope because they are loaded with antioxidants and vitamins. They are especially high in Vitamin C which you already know can boost immunity and fiber which can help to detox your system. Elderberry also has a good reputation for helping your system to increase its white blood cell count. The reason why Black elderberry syrup makes the list of smart cold-fighting recommendations is that there are studies to support that it literally reduces the severity and length of the flu (some experts say that it can result in the flu lasting for no longer than four days). So, the next time you go to your local health store, make sure to cop some.
5. Cop a Saline Spray
Something that a lot of people don’t realize is, when they have a stuffy nose, the mucus isn’t the problem. Actually, mucus is a sign that your body is working overtime to keep viruses and bacteria from overtaking your body. The reason why mucus is such a pain when you’ve got a cold is that 1) your nasal passages are usually inflamed and 2) your mucus is oftentimes thicker due to the virus that has infected your system. A saline nasal spray can help with all of this because it works to wash out your nasal passages which can also shorten your cold’s “shelf life.” Saline sprays are easy to find at the local grocery or drug stores. It’s always a good idea to have one in your medicine cabinet. Just in case.
6. Apply Eucalyptus, Cedarwood and Basil Essential Oils
I’m a huge fan of essential oils and when I have a cold, I’m really all about them. Eucalyptus contains antiviral and antimicrobial properties that aggressively attack cold-related symptoms. Cedarwood works as an antifungal, antiseptic, and astringent that can thin out mucus and help you to feel calmer and more relaxed (so that you can sleep easier). Basil is cool because it helps to soothe your respiratory system.
You can either mix these up with a carrier oil like jojoba, grapeseed, sweet almond, avocado, or coconut and rub them on your chest or back, put them into a diffuser, or get a humidifier (which is also a huge win when it comes to fighting cold and the flu) that has a diffuser in it so that you can get the benefits of moisture and essential oils in the air as your work and/or rest. A list of some of the best humidifiers/diffusers is located here.
7. Digest Some Probiotics
Not too long ago, I wrote an article on here about the fact that 80 percent of our immune system is located in our gut (you can read more about it here). Since there are both good and bad bacteria in there, it’s important that the good bacteria far outweighs the bad. One way to make that happen is to eat foods that are high in probiotics (like fermented ones like pickled veggies) or to take a probiotic supplement.
As far as a cold goes, probiotics not only help to keep you from getting a cold to begin with, they also are great at reducing your cold-related symptoms and shortening how long your cold lasts. That’s why I enjoy drinking kefir (which basically like a 2.0 version of liquid yogurt). Whatever you decide to do, just make sure to keep some probiotics in your system on a regular basis. You’ll be really glad you did; especially during cold and flu season (which is now).
8. Eat Honey
I’m really starting to wonder if there’s anything honey can’t do. When it comes to healing a cold, it’s great at soothing a sore throat, suppressing a cough, and reducing symptoms that are directly related to an upper respiratory infection. Honey is also bomb because, if you’re struggling with catching some zzz’s while you’re sick, believe it or not, honey can provide more energy to your brain so that you can remain in a REM state of sleep for a longer period of time. Now, how cool is that?
9. Make Some Bone Broth
At the end of the day, bone broth is a broth that is made from animal bones and connective tissue. Since animal bones contain nutrients like calcium, magnesium, and potassium, that’s already a good reason to either purchase some or make a homemade batch from time to time.
When you have a cold, consuming bone broth is beneficial because the gelatin in it can make it easier for you to digest the foods that you are eating in order to get better. Plus, bone broth contains amino acids that fight inflammation (which is a part of the reason why you have a stuffy nose) and, since consuming lots of fluids is always a good idea when you’re sick, that’s another reason why it can be super helpful.
This brings me to my next point.
10. Drink Lots of Water
There are a few ways that drinking lots of water can make your cold shorter. It can help to thin out the mucus in your system. It can help to keep your mucous membranes well-lubricated. It can bring more oxygen to your blood. It can help to flush out the toxins that are bringing on your cold-related symptoms. If you’ve got a fever, it can help to lower it. And, because coughing can lead to dehydration, drinking water can prevent that from transpiring too. There’s no way around why you need to have some water on your nightstand. Make sure that you do.
12. Change Your Pillowcases Daily
I once read that when you sneeze, your germs can travel as much as 19-26 feet (what in the world?!). Now just imagine how much drama is happening with your bedding. Listen, it might be tedious to change your pillowcases on a daily basis while you’re sick yet the less that you’re rolling around in an abundance of germs, the greater your chances are of getting better quicker. So yeah, toss your pillowcases into your hamper every morning. It’ll be worth it in the long run.
12. Rest
Yeah. I won’t even get into the fact that a lot of people end up catching colds because they are so sleep deprived that their immune system was super weak, to begin with (check out “Ready To Try 10 Quick & Easy Immune-Boosting Hacks?”). What I will say is I make sure that I don’t get less than 6-8 hours (and oftentimes a nap too) a night. Then, I up it a couple of hours the week before my period and right when I feel a cold coming on. It’s one of the best ways to get my system ready for the “battle” that is about to transpire. You don’t have to take my word for it, though.
A lot of medical professionals recommend adding an hour of sleep to your sleep routine when you’re under the weather (assuming that you’re getting at least six hours in, to begin with). All of these tips won’t work, nearly as well, without applying this final one. If you really wanna get over your cold, rest is essential. Lots of it. OK, sis? Excellent.
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Laterras R. Whitfield On What He Wants In A 'Future Wifey' & Redefining Masculinity
In this week's episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker chopped it up with Laterras R. Whitfield, host of the Dear Future Wifey podcast, for a raw and revealing conversation about personal growth, faith, and the search for love in a way that resonates.
Laterras Whitfield Believes Men Should Pursue, Not Persuade
“Let me know you exist, and I’ll do the rest”
Whitfield is a big advocate of a man’s role in going confidently for the woman he wants. “Men should pursue, not persuade, and women should present, not pursue,” he said. He’s open to meeting women on social media but isn’t a fan of bold approaches. “Don’t shoot your shot at me. … Let me know you exist, and I’ll do the rest.”
His ideal woman?
“She has to be a woman of God… I judge a woman by how her friends see her… and most importantly, how she treats my kids.”
Infidelity, Redemption, and the Power of Self-Control
“Being disciplined is the most beautiful thing you can offer”
Once unfaithful in his previous marriage, Whitfield has since transformed his perspective on masculinity. “Being disciplined is the most beautiful thing you can offer. That’s what true masculinity is to me now.” He has also committed to abstinence, choosing self-control as a defining trait of manhood.
Whitfield’s journey is one of redemption, purpose, and faith—something that speaks to women who value emotional intelligence, accountability, and the power of transformation.
Rewriting the Narrative Around Black Masculinity
What masculinity, legacy, and healing mean to Whitfield today
“My dad taught me what not to be [as a man] and my mom taught me what she needed [in a man],” Whitfield said. While his father wasn’t abusive, he wasn’t emotionally or affectionately present. “Since I didn’t see it, I never got it either… I would look at my dad and say, ‘I want to be a better father.’ ”
Adoption had always been on his spirit, influenced by TV shows like Different Strokes and Punky Brewster. This mindset led him to take in his nephew as his son after a powerful dream confirmed what he already felt in his heart.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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If there is a piece of consistent sex-related advice that I give people who are considering going the distance in their relationship, it’s this: “Don’t go for someone who is simply good in bed; you’d be far better off choosing someone who actually enjoys sex.” Why do I say that? Because I’ve been doing this couples-work thing long enough to know that there are a lot — and, I mean A LOT — of people who like to manipulate or weaponize sex in order to get something that they want…and then, once they get it, suddenly sex is not a priority anymore.
One day, I might really get into just how actually evil that is (because sex is never supposed to be a bribe in a relationship). For now, though, I want to talk about how motives reveal oh so very much when it comes to physical (and even emotional) intimacy. Hmph. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes on the topic of motives: “People’s behavior makes sense when you think about it in terms of goals, needs, and motives.” An author by the name of Thomas Mann said that, and indeed it does because, when you are doing something merely to get your way, that is a form of manipulation or control.
On the other hand, when you’re doing it merely for the holistic pleasure of doing so — that is when you are experiencing intimacy in the way that it was intended to be.
So, when it comes to your personal motive for sex, what is it really all about?
What Are You Really Hoping to Get Out of Sex?
When It Comes to Your ‘What’, You Always Need to Know Your WHY
Oh, I’ve got some more motives quotes for you. Psychologist Albert Ellis once said, “People have motives and thoughts of which they are unaware.” Author Paul David Trip once said, “We rarely do anything with one single motive.” It’s pretty ironic that actor Chris Noth (because if you know, you know) once said, “Since women ask me about male motives all the time, I can offer a bit of advice. If you feel like you're going to get hurt, then you shouldn't be there in the first place. That's the way I look at relationships.”
Now, before I attempt to build on these quotes, let’s first look at a very basic definition of motive:
Motive: a reason for doing something, especially one that is hidden or not obvious
Did you catch that? Oftentimes, when someone is moving based on a motive, the reason is hidden. Is it just me or does that sound semi-sneaky or opportunistic, right off the bat? Interestingly enough, some synonyms for motive include grounds, basis and root. All of those words make me think of the foundation of something. So, since we are talking about sex, specifically, today — before you decide to sleep with someone, you really should ask yourself what your foundational reason is and, if you’re choosing not to share it with said-partner…why is that?
Pick Your Top 3 Motives, Then Reflect
Let’s keep going. Some other synonyms for motive include aim; emotion; idea; impulse; intent; motivation; passion; rationale; occasion; incentive; consideration, and inspiration. Aight, so here’s another thing to ponder — out of these 12 words, select your top three that “connect the dots” as it relates to your motive (or motives). It could be that you feel passion for him, your intent is to show him that and, since you’ve been dating for a hot minute, you think that it’s the right occasion. In this case, what’s shady or opportunistic about that?
If that is indeed your motive, it would fall less into the “hidden” category and more in the “not obvious” once you really thought it through. On the other hand, if it’s more like you aim to have sex, because your rationale is to get some sort of incentive out of it — do you see how that’s totally different? And if indeed that is the case, WHY do you think that is okay?
Sex Is Not A Transaction — It’s An Exchange
I’m telling you, if there is one thing that I damn near loathe is how transactional sex sounds these days: “Unless you’re going to pay my bills, I’m not going to give you any.” What in the world? Listen, I don’t care how unpopular the opinion may be, sometimes — hell, oftentimes — the truth isn’t popular and the truth about copulation is IT IS AN EVEN EXCHANGE. No one should be paying you for it. He got pleasure, you got pleasure. Over and out. And if that isn’t happening, either there is more communication that needs to be going on (which is just one of the reasons why I’m not a fan of faking orgasms) or there is something “off” when it comes to you and your partner.
Whatever the case may be, before engaging in physical intimacy with someone, it’s beyond wise to spend some time getting really honest with yourself about what your motives truly are — because how we start something oftentimes sets the tone for the experience overall. Indeed, motives are a lot like cause and effect — they play a significantly profound role in determining the outcome of matters.
Real Compatibility Includes Mutual Motives
Sexual Compatibility Includes Having Mutual Motives
Okay, so now that we’ve discussed motives, in general — say that your motives are pure (and you are being really honest with yourself about that). You’re not hiding anything because there is nothing to hide. You simply feel so connected to someone that you are motivated and inspired to take things to another level.
Well, that’s where author Lebo Grand and something that he once said comes in: “Sensuality is the purest motive that exists on earth.” When something is sensual, it gratifies the senses. When something is sensual, it arouses the appetite — and yes, when you want to be intimate with someone, simply because you want to get closer to them, there is something that is very sweet, very sincere and even pure — in the sense of being authentic and real — about that.
If that is your motive, share that with your partner. If that is also his motive, then it’s time to get into what the mutual motives of what a healthy sexual relationship should be: pleasure, joy and satisfaction. Y’all, something else that messes many couples up is there is so much focus on what they want to get out of sex that they fail to fully tune in and tap into their partner — and that is unfortunate. You know why? Because it has been both my experience as well as my observation that when both people are totally invested in making sure that their partner is sexually satisfied both individuals end up feeling gratified and quenched. Yeah, a selfish motive rarely brings contentment like a selfless one does — and you can take that to the bank!
And that is why, although I think that sexual compatibility is important, you’d be amazed how much clear communication, patience and selflessness can “get you there” if sex seems awkward at first. Again, if the motives are right, goodness can come from it, even if it takes a bit of time and effort to get there.
When Your Sexual Motives Shift, Say Something
If Your Motives Shift, You Need to Speak Up
Final point. It is the Greek philosopher Heraclitus who once said, “Change is the only constant in life” and this applies to every aspect of it — including sex. That said, some of you may recall back when I wrote an article entitled, “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go.” The wife who I featured in that piece, we were recently talking about it and how she remains 10 toes down about the fact that a “big one” ain’t all it’s cracked up to be if the man who owns it is attached to a huge ego and not much else.
When I asked her to reflect on how much of her dissatisfaction was — and kinda still is — about him vs. who she now is as a person, she admitted that so much of who she is has changed from when they first got together. She’s older and so her hormones have shifted. She has spiritually evolved and so a profound emotional connection is more desired. She knows herself better and so she has some sexual needs that she never had before. And so, her motives have shifted from pretty much just having a good time (only) to longing for something…deeper.
This isn’t abnormal; many people go through this. Thing is, instead of being forthcoming with their partner, they would rather have them pick up on hints or, even worse, attempt to read their mind. Yeah, that’s not how effective communication works, y’all — if your motives for sex have changed, you’ve got to say something. Otherwise, you’re going to end up frustrated or unfulfilled…and honestly, your partner probably will too because if you are different and you don’t share it, eventually there will be a “disconnect” (and not just in the bedroom).
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As I bring this to a close, take a moment to circle back to the first motive quote that I shared in the intro (“People’s behavior makes sense when you think about it in terms of goals, needs and motives.”). Whatever your sex life is like right now, what are your goals, needs and motives? What are his?
Figure that out and you’ll better understand where you’re at and, if you don’t like it, how to get to where you want to be.
It all begins with the right motives, sis. It really and truly does.
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