Sometimes it's hard to reconcile that we are still living in a world of "firsts" for black women.
We see so many women of color rising and flourishing that we often forget that there was a trailblazer who preceded them. And in the world of ballet, Misty Copeland is that trailblazer. As the first African American female principal dancer of the American Ballet Theater, Copeland has not only smashed glass ceilings with her pointe shoes, she is also determined to open the door for other black girls and to show the ballet world that they belong, too.
Copeland, 35, has ascended to the highest ranks of the global ballet stage, but it hasn't been without its challenges. While she didn't began dance until the age of 13, she also faced a lot of hurdles—including a nasty custody battle between her mother and her former dance instructors. The celebrity spokesperson feared she may never dance again, but like any successful person does, she persisted, despite her circumstances.
"There's not a day that goes by that I feel like this is normal — or that this should've happened for me,"
The public speaker and author has also faced the pressures of trying to conform to the standard "dancer's body," which led to issues with binge eating and feeling ashamed of her, relative to other dancers, curvaceous frame. However, she was able to overcome these insecurities and is now speaking out against this round-about way of discriminating against the bodies of black girls.
Copeland recently told Poppy Harlow on "Boss Files With Poppy Harlow":
"I have a body that a lot of white dancers have and there are white ballerinas that are principal dancers that have larger chests than me and bigger muscles and broader shoulders and they are not told they don't belong...At 7 years old, being a Black girl in their school and being told by their teachers 'you don't belong here, your skin is the wrong color, your feet are too flat ... we can't work with your hair.'"
These echoes of not fitting in have repercussions that have minimized the inclusiveness that might have been possible in ballet. Because of her own experiences, Copeland now wants to be the voice for those who may not have others showing them that it's okay to love the skin and bodies that they're in, especially girls in the hyper-critical, perfectionist world of ballet.
"How many amazing artists have we missed out on because they weren't given support and an opportunity? So I feel like I want to be the voice of so many that didn't have what I have."
Through her passion of sharing her story and mentoring younger and diverse dancers, Copeland has found her voice and her purpose. She works with Project Plié, which is an initiative by the American Ballet Theatre that finds, nurtures, and develops young dancers of color in order to increase diversity in America's ballet companies.
"I think that's my purpose: to bring people in, to make them feel that they belong."
Finding purpose in your passion is the ultimate power move.
To listen to Misty Copeland's full interview with Poppy, click here.
Featured image by Giphy
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To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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