Uncle Sam is one member of the family that will never get an invite to the cookout, but nevertheless, he slides through once a year to f*ck up everyone's good time. Procrastination is the creative woman's Achilles heel, and this can be especially dangerous when it comes to doing our taxes and apparently, celebrities aren't immune to this fact. Recently, Bossip reported that Mary J. Blige owes more than $1,000,000 in federal back taxes to the IRS, but after surviving a number of hefty lawsuits, foreclosure, and a messy divorce, we're sure Mary is going to be just fine.
To truly boss up in this world, you have to get control of your finances, and part of that means getting ahead of the IRS before tax day, and Auntie Mary said she had to learn this the hard way. Last year, in an interview the singer revealed that after the very public breakdown in her marriage with her ex Kendu Issacs, she's had to take a front seat when it comes to getting control of her financial situation.
"I'm just being straight-up honest. I never wanted to do all this stuff, but after what I've been through and all the mess that I'm in … You have to pay those taxes. It's good to see what you have and what you don't have — and why are we paying this person $5,000 a week?"
While Mary hasn't commented on her situation, we can learn a thing or two from her recent financial woes. Unlike body hair and bad days, taxes aren't something that just sneaks up on you without warning, and although tax day is 8 months away but it's never a bad idea to get started early.
With these pre-tax season tips, you might have 99 problems, but your finances during tax season won't be one of them.
Get Started Early
GiphyMost business owners and independent contractors don't even think about their taxes until one or two months before they're due, and I can totally relate. But if you stay ready, you won't have to get ready, sis.
By organizing your finances well ahead of time, you can avoid any surprises that may arise and feel responsible AF.
Do Some Research
It never hurts to know your sh*t, especially when it comes to your finances. Tax codes change everyday b, and keeping up with these changes can save you a ton of money.
Much of the information you need is available on this section of IRS.Gov and Google should be your best friend before, during, and after tax season.
Hire a Tax Accountant
GiphyThere's no doubt in my mind that you are totally capable of doing your own taxes, especially after all that extensive research that you've done, but unless you're a tax preparer, there's probably someone who can do it better.
By hiring a tax account, not only are you saving time and focusing on areas of your life where your expertise is more valuable, but you're probably saving yourself a few bucks in the long run, too. A tax accountant that is familiar with clients in your line of work can work to your advantage in a major way when it comes to tax code changes and potential advantages.
Stay Organized
The easiest way to f*ck up your money is by not keeping it organized. I can personally attest to the fact that I have 300 receipts in my car console as we speak, and it's not okay. If you get organized before tax season, handling your finances won't seem so stressful because you won't be so frazzled.
Featured image by Phil Stafford / Shutterstock.com
- Mary J. Blige Seeks No Drama Buyer for Saddle River Spread ›
- Mary J. Blige Is Looking At Over $1 Million Worth Of Debt In Back ... ›
- Mary J. Blige Owes Over $1 Million In Back Taxes | Hot 107.5 ›
- Mary J. Blige Reportedly Owes Over $1 Million In Taxes ... ›
- Mary J. Blige Reportedly Owes $1 Million In Back Taxes | Cassius ... ›
- The Queen Mary J. Blige Reportedly Owe IRS More Than $1M In ... ›
- IRS after Mary J. Blige for alleged failure to pay $1 Million in back ... ›
- Mary J. Blige Reportedly Owes More Than $1M In Back Taxes ›
- Mary J. Blige Reportedly Owes More Than $1 Million In Taxes ›
- Mary J. Blige Reportedly Owes Over $1 Million in Back Taxes ... ›
RELATED
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images
