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I’m 38 & A 25-Year-Old Made Me Believe In Love Again
Being a 38-year-old woman who has never been married, it probably comes as no surprise that I have had my fair share of dating nightmares and relationship fails. After every experience, I learned a little about myself. I learned what I can do better, what I need, what I want, what I like, and most definitely what I don't like. Unfortunately that didn't stop me from encountering cheaters, liars, and time wasters. Nor did it stop me from experiencing ghosting, inconsistency, and words with no actions. It all honestly left a bad taste in my mouth and not very much hope in the male species. I was very close to just giving up and living my life as my nephew's rich auntie that travels the world solo.
That is until I met Brandon.
Now, before you start thinking that this is going to be a How Stella Got Her Groove Back story, let me disappoint you right now and say that is not the case here. Sorry, ladies. 25-year-old Brandon is just my friend. We have developed more of a big sister/little brother relationship. However, I learn just as much from him as I hope he learns from me. I met Brandon on Instagram after a mutual friend posted me on their page and he reached out with questions on how to start a blog. From there, we started to talk about everything from fitness, fashion, career, life, and of course relationships. It was when Brandon started talking to me about his girlfriend that I was truly intrigued. Compared to me, he is so young but he has such a mature view on love and relationships.
Brandon probably has no idea the impact some of those conversations had on me and what I took from them. Most are things I've heard a million times before but this time I guess I was ready to receive them. I think the things he said resonated with me so much because they were gentle reminders that weren't forced on me like they had been in the past. There was no arrogance or self-righteousness. He was simply sharing his truth and inadvertently helping a friend too.
Being friends with Brandon has taught me:
1.Don't give up.
If love is something that you really want to experience, don't give up. It doesn't mean you have to go searching for it but you do have to be open to receive it. Brandon shared that he too dealt with being unlucky in love and had his fair share of let-downs in the romance department but that all changed when he met his girlfriend. It was the gentle reminder I needed that I am not alone in this and that those that have found "the one" only did so because they didn't give up.
2.Men have to be "chose" too.
Brandon told me once that he was trying to be the best boyfriend he could be because he wants to be seen as husband material by his girlfriend. It made me think about how much pressure we as women put on ourselves to be "chose" by the opposite sex. We forget that we have a choice too ladies. We have to choose them to be our lovers, friends, boyfriends and husbands. Don't ever forget that. Take the pressure off yourselves about being "chose" and remember they need to prove to you that they are deserving of you choosing them.
3.Be open.
I shared in an Instagram story once that I was carrying a pack of bottled water from my car to my building one day. In the parking lot, a guy asked me if I needed any help. I told him "no" and then proceeded to have every single bottle of water fall out of the pack. And yes, the guy was still standing right there. Brandon replied to my Insta-story and laughed profusely but after he gathered himself he told me that the guy could have been the one and asked why I didn't let him help. Besides being used to being super independent, I also realized that I was also closed off to the opposite sex. While it's highly likely no love connection would have been made between me and that guy, Brandon helped me realize that it doesn't hurt to be a little more open-minded when encountering the opposite sex.
4.Romance is not dead.
I remember one time Brandon shared with me that he had to pick up his girlfriend at the airport. Knowing that I practically live at the airport, he reached out to ask me some questions. I was touched by the level of thought he put into something that most think is a mundane task. He wanted it to be perfect, he wanted to be on time, and yep he got her flowers. He told me once that because of all of the amazing qualities she possessed, it wasn't hard at all to do nice things for her. He also told me once that he recognizes the importance of continuing to date his girlfriend and knows he has to continue to be all of the things that made her fall in love with him.
5.Everybody doesn't cheat.
One day, Brandon shared a meme with me that made a joke about cheating. My response was, "Facts." He was truly shocked by my matter-of-fact and negative response. I shared with him how many married men and men that are in relationships find their way into my inbox on a weekly basis trying to shoot their shot. His shock was genuine and also refreshing. I needed that reminder that while cheating is something that I'm sure will go on until the end of time, there are still people out there that don't.
In a world that glorifies the misogyny and disrespect of women, it was beautiful to hear such a young guy speak with such love about a woman. Brandon and his girlfriend are blessed to have found each other and hearing about them through his eyes was the gentle reminder I needed that it's possible for me too. Just like everyone else in the world I have kissed a few frogs (or two) but it will happen…when the time is right because I have no plans of giving up.
Thank you, Brandon.
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Erica Green is a Clinical Research Associate, blogger, and a sneakerhead. She has a love for all things women and she's pretty sure that women are God's greatest creation. Connect with her on Instagram @ erica_britt_ or www.lovethegspot.com
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Summer Travel Guide: 9 Safest Vacation Spots For Black Women
When it comes to planning and choosing our international travels, there’s one question that is bound to come up: “Is it safe for Black women?”
At times, our travel plans can be halted by whether or not our desired destination is safe not only for solo travel but for overall protection as women of color. We want to have fun, go on excursions, taste the food, and let our hair down, so the last thing we need on our minds is navigating microaggressions and worrying about our safety.
According to a report by The Mandala Research Firm, 17% of Black Americans take one or more international trips and travel locally more than six times per year. Even more exciting, 42% of Black Americans said they would spend more in 2020 on travel than in 2019 (pre-Covid), and 50% of Black adults (16% more than the general population) are more likely to travel to locations associated with their ethnic or cultural heritage. All of this goes to show that we’re not afraid to pack our bags and book flights to our heart's desire.
Our passion for travel and exploration highlights a growing desire to connect with a wide range of cultures while discovering new fresh locales. By choosing destinations with positive reputations for safety and belonging, you can enjoy your next adventure with peace of mind. And to help, we’ve provided a list of the best vacation spots to add to our travel bucket list.
1.Havana, Cuba
Known for its vibrant culture and welcoming locals, Havana offers a unique travel experience for you and your girlfriends. Stroll through the historic streets of Old Havana and immerse yourself in the lively music and dance scenes that make this city unforgettable.
2.Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Famous for its Carnival, stunning beaches, and warm hospitality, Rio de Janeiro is a lively and safe city to explore all year long. Don't miss a visit to the iconic Christ the Redeemer statue and the bustling Copacabana Beach for a true taste of Rio's energetic spirit.
3.Belize
With its beautiful beaches, diverse wildlife, and laid-back Caribbean vibe, Belize is a safe and adventurous destination for travelers. Discover the underwater wonders of the Belize Barrier Reef and explore ancient Lamanai Maya Ruins.
4.Paris, France
Who doesn’t have Paris, the city of lights, on their travel list? Renowned for its art, fashion, and iconic landmarks like the Eiffel Tower, Paris offers a blend of romance and safety for travelers. Wander through the charming neighborhoods of Montmartre and Le Marais, explore the Louvre, and indulge in the city's exquisite culinary delights.
5.Lisbon, Portugal
Portugal's capital city, Lisbon, charms visitors with its historic architecture, delicious cuisine, and welcoming atmosphere. Enjoy breathtaking views from São Jorge Castle and savor traditional pastries at the famous Pastéis de Belém bakery.
6.Bali, Indonesia
We’ve all seen the viral photos off the Bali coast and Gates of Heaven, so why not make it a reality? Famous for its lush landscapes, vibrant culture, and serene temples, Bali offers a safe and enriching travel experience in Southeast Asia.
7.Tokyo, Japan
Recently, the value of the Japanese Yen has seen a significant drop, making it the lowest it has been against the dollar since 1986, which also means that there’s no better time than now to make your travel plans to the renowned cultural hub.
8.Accra, Ghana
There’s no FOMO like the kind felt from seeing all the beautiful faces enjoying their holiday at Ghana’s Afrochella Festival, so let this be your sign to start planning the trip now. Often referred to as a welcoming home for the African diaspora, Ghana offers rich cultural experiences and a sense of belonging. Explore the vibrant markets of Accra and visit the historic Cape Coast Castle to connect with the nation's poignant past.
9.Seoul, South Korea
You may be surprised to find this city on the list, but for Black travelers, Seoul is said to be one of the safest and most exciting cities to travel to. There will be plenty to eat, buy, and experience from this city’s rich history and culture.
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Featured image by Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images