

3 Ways To Spice Up Your Long Distance Sex Life
All relationships have their challenges, but a long distance relationship can be a real b-tch when it comes to sexual satisfaction.
When you're in an LDR, you can't even end the night turnt up in some hot sticky butt-naked revelry. Instead, you're more likely to be sulking and hoping a FaceTime episode with his eggplant will be enough to get you off.
I told myself I'd never entertain even the thought of a long-distance relationship ever again after two failed attempts left me heartbroken, bitter, and thirsty for the D like a vampire for blood. It was all too stressful, and I hated that my man wasn't close enough for me to just pop up on.
Well, never say never. I recently fell madly in love with the man of my dreams---a patient, caring, ambitious, God-fearing superhuman who lives almost 2,000 miles away.
At first, I was apprehensive in continuing the relationship since ridiculously passionate and conveniently frequent experiences of intimacy for me---a woman with the libido of a teenage boy---had become a make-or-break factor. I wanted $15 Uber-ride d*ck, not schlong that would cost me a $400+ plane ticket.
Long distance sex requires quite a bit more maturity, trust, and creativity. Here are a few tricks and tips that can help spice up your long-distance sex life beyond the usual. (Hey, I love my man enough to try some new ish):
RATED G: Wearable Tech
Little lifesavers in the form of gadgets that can be worn as accessories can be both convenient and discreet in your plight to get your LDR groove on. (Or they can at least give you both a good laugh at their slightly creepy nature.) Try the HEY bracelet, which you and your man can wear daily to send sensations that mimic one another's touch.
Pillow Talk, a wristband that both you and bae can wear, has heart sensors that allow you to hear one another's heartbeat via a synced speaker that you can slip right under your pillows. I'm a big fan of this option, because, horny toad that I am, I love that I can listen to bae's heartbeat not when he's sleeping but when he's about to come during a virtual sex session. I mean, what better way to detect whether he's faking a cyber nut than using this bad boy? Hey, at least I can go to bed knowing my man's really satisfied---and reassure the psycho girlfriend in my head that he's not dipping out with some more readily available weekend chick with the fabulous hair and body of SZA.
Rated R: Digital Role Play
I love digital role play because it adds an element of surprise and intrigue---and it's definitely not for the insecure or shy. When your love calls you, choose a sexy alter ego and get into it. Think up creative scenarios like an erotic prank call or a forbidden encounter with the person of their deepest fantasies.
Handle it like you're filming or creating your own version of 50 Shades and keep the narrative going for as long as you two want. My bae knows I'm a coy storyteller who loves sneaky fun, so he stays on ready when I hit his phone acting like a secret admirer from his Facebook page, or when I show up on a Whats App video call wearing pum-pum shorts and a see-through tank, bending 6:30 to a Vybz Kartel hit like a true dancehall queen.
Rated X: Interactive Toy Sexperience
When I say interactive toy sexperience, I'm not talking about your usual sex toy + Skype technique. This bad boy takes things up notch. In Kiiroo's Onyx + Pearl combo, the Pearl2 can be controlled by your man via an app, and the Onyx2 allows your man to get his own pleasure at up to 140 strokes per minute. You both can enjoy a high-tech sexscapade in real time, and, bonus, the company offers options for LGBT.
Bae and I like to be extra, so we'd pair these toys with a naughty dice, card, or board game like Monogamy where each of us follows the instructions but uses the toys in place of the real thing (when applicable.) I like to add incentives and a bit of competition to the deal so that the victor can cash in mid-air on a flight or in the car on the way home from the airport.
Sometimes, he's been waiting a few months to get some real-life booty, so why not?
What's your favorite way to keep the spice in your LDR?
Featured image by Giphy
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Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Russell and Nina Westbrook Dish On The Key Ways To Avoid Resentment In Relationships
Russell and Nina Westbrook are one of those low-key, unproblematic couples we don’t talk about enough. They met in college and got married in 2015. They also have a beautiful family with three kids. While Russell is an NBA star, Nina is a licensed family and marriage therapist and a mental health advocate.
She recently launched the podcast The Relationship Chronicles with Nina Westbrook, and in the latest episode, she had none other than her husband on as a guest. The college sweethearts dived into important topics from marriage to children and how they navigate it all.
One of the topics they touched on was dealing with resentment in your relationship. The former MVP highlighted the sacrifices his wife has had to make in order for him to pursue a career in the NBA, and that’s why it’s also important for him to support his wife whenever he can.
“For me is respecting and understanding what your partner do and the time it takes,” Russell said. “Not kind of downplaying what they do, understanding the time and energy and effort they're doing to make sure whether it’s their job or making sure home is taken care of, and understanding that, I think that is the challenge of not being resentful.”
Nina agreed and also shared her thoughts on resentment. According to her, one of the best things couples should do is have their own identity and passions outside of the relationship in an effort to be fulfilled.
“I also think that when you’re in a relationship, that’s why it’s so important that each individual kinda pursue their own passions and follow their own dreams as I feel like it only becomes or leads to resentment when one person is not feeling fulfilled in what they're doing in their lives,” she explained.
“And so, they will start to look at the other partner who’s happy or excelling or promoting or moving along in their journey, then they’re left feeling stuck like they sacrificed themselves, their happiness, their career, their future and have not pursued it in the name of the relationship or their partner. So, it’s so much easier to avoid those feelings of resentment when you’re each equally pursuing your passions.”
The couple has many passions that they work on together and separately. Outside of basketball and his family, Russell has become known for his eclectic style and started the fashion brand Honor The Gift. Nina has her podcast, and she also started the mental health website Bene. Together, they run the Why Not? Foundation, which works with kids in underserved communities.
“I’m a firm believer that one person can’t be everything to you, so you have to sort of seek out those different friendships or groups or hobbies or activities that help to fulfill you,” Nina concluded.
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Feature image by Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images for Religion of Sports