3 Ways To Spice Up Your Long Distance Sex Life
All relationships have their challenges, but a long distance relationship can be a real b-tch when it comes to sexual satisfaction.
When you're in an LDR, you can't even end the night turnt up in some hot sticky butt-naked revelry. Instead, you're more likely to be sulking and hoping a FaceTime episode with his eggplant will be enough to get you off.
I told myself I'd never entertain even the thought of a long-distance relationship ever again after two failed attempts left me heartbroken, bitter, and thirsty for the D like a vampire for blood. It was all too stressful, and I hated that my man wasn't close enough for me to just pop up on.
Well, never say never. I recently fell madly in love with the man of my dreams---a patient, caring, ambitious, God-fearing superhuman who lives almost 2,000 miles away.
At first, I was apprehensive in continuing the relationship since ridiculously passionate and conveniently frequent experiences of intimacy for me---a woman with the libido of a teenage boy---had become a make-or-break factor. I wanted $15 Uber-ride d*ck, not schlong that would cost me a $400+ plane ticket.
Long distance sex requires quite a bit more maturity, trust, and creativity. Here are a few tricks and tips that can help spice up your long-distance sex life beyond the usual. (Hey, I love my man enough to try some new ish):
RATED G: Wearable Tech
Little lifesavers in the form of gadgets that can be worn as accessories can be both convenient and discreet in your plight to get your LDR groove on. (Or they can at least give you both a good laugh at their slightly creepy nature.) Try the HEY bracelet, which you and your man can wear daily to send sensations that mimic one another's touch.
Pillow Talk, a wristband that both you and bae can wear, has heart sensors that allow you to hear one another's heartbeat via a synced speaker that you can slip right under your pillows. I'm a big fan of this option, because, horny toad that I am, I love that I can listen to bae's heartbeat not when he's sleeping but when he's about to come during a virtual sex session. I mean, what better way to detect whether he's faking a cyber nut than using this bad boy? Hey, at least I can go to bed knowing my man's really satisfied---and reassure the psycho girlfriend in my head that he's not dipping out with some more readily available weekend chick with the fabulous hair and body of SZA.
Rated R: Digital Role Play
I love digital role play because it adds an element of surprise and intrigue---and it's definitely not for the insecure or shy. When your love calls you, choose a sexy alter ego and get into it. Think up creative scenarios like an erotic prank call or a forbidden encounter with the person of their deepest fantasies.
Handle it like you're filming or creating your own version of 50 Shades and keep the narrative going for as long as you two want. My bae knows I'm a coy storyteller who loves sneaky fun, so he stays on ready when I hit his phone acting like a secret admirer from his Facebook page, or when I show up on a Whats App video call wearing pum-pum shorts and a see-through tank, bending 6:30 to a Vybz Kartel hit like a true dancehall queen.
Rated X: Interactive Toy Sexperience
When I say interactive toy sexperience, I'm not talking about your usual sex toy + Skype technique. This bad boy takes things up notch. In Kiiroo's Onyx + Pearl combo, the Pearl2 can be controlled by your man via an app, and the Onyx2 allows your man to get his own pleasure at up to 140 strokes per minute. You both can enjoy a high-tech sexscapade in real time, and, bonus, the company offers options for LGBT.
Bae and I like to be extra, so we'd pair these toys with a naughty dice, card, or board game like Monogamy where each of us follows the instructions but uses the toys in place of the real thing (when applicable.) I like to add incentives and a bit of competition to the deal so that the victor can cash in mid-air on a flight or in the car on the way home from the airport.
Sometimes, he's been waiting a few months to get some real-life booty, so why not?
What's your favorite way to keep the spice in your LDR?
Featured image by Giphy
- The Sex Files #14: 25 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life | Her Campus ›
- 16 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life ›
- Getting in the mood: How to pep up your sex life in a long-term ... ›
- Three moves to spice up your sex life - Men's Health ›
- 11 Foods to Spice Up Your Sex Life | Muscle & Fitness ›
- 8 Sex Tips For Long Distance Relationships, Because Distance ... ›
- The 7 Rules of a Healthy Long-Distance Sex Life - Men's Journal ›
- Here's what sex is really like in a long-distance relationship ... ›
- 8 Ways to have sex in a long-distance relationship ›
- How to Keep Intimacy Alive During a Long Distance Relationship ... ›
- 10 life-saving sex tips for people in long-distance relationships. ›
- Long Distance Relationship: Great Sex Life | Glamour ›
- 10 Ways To Build Intimacy In A Long Distance Relationship ... ›
- Long distance relationships: Sex toys, games and hot tips | Glamour ... ›
- Why Long-Distance Runners Have Better Sex Lives ›
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
You've Never Seen Luke James In A Role Quite Like This
Over the years, we've watched Luke James play countless characters we'd deem sex symbols, movie stars, and even his complicated character in Lena Waithe's The Chi. For the first time in his career, the New Orleans-born actor has taken on a role where his signature good looks take a backseat as he transforms into Edmund in Them: The Scare—a mentally deranged character in the second installment of the horror anthology series that you won't be able to take your eyes off.
Trust us, Edmund will literally make you do a double take.
xoNecole sat down with Luke James to talk about his latest series and all the complexity surrounding it—from the challenges taking on this out-of-the-box role to the show's depiction of the perplexing history of the relationship between Black Americans and police. When describing the opportunity to bring Edmund's character to life, Luke was overjoyed to show the audience yet another level of his masterful acting talents.
"It was like bathing in the sun," he said. "I was like, thank you! Another opportunity for me to be great—for me to expand my territory. I'm just elated to be a part of it and to see myself in a different light, something I didn't think I could do." He continued, "There are parts of you that says, 'Go for it because this is what you do.' But then also that's why it's a challenge because you're like, 'um, I don't know if I'm as free as I need to be to be able to do this.' Little Marvin just created such a safe space for me to be able to do this, and I'm grateful for everything I've been able to do to lead to this."
Courtesy
Them: The Scare, like the first season, shines a light on the plight of Black Americans in the United States. This time, the story is taking place in the 1990s, at the height of the Rodney King riots in Los Angeles. While the series presents many underlying themes, one that stands out is Black people and the complicated relationship with the police. "For the audience, I think it sets the tone for the era that we're in and the amount of chaos that's in the air in Los Angeles and around the country from this heinous incident. And I say it just sets the tone of the anxiety and anxiousness that everybody is feeling in their own households."
James has been a longtime advocate against police brutality himself. He has even featured Elijah McClain, the 23-year-old Colorado man who died after being forcibly detained by officers, as his Instagram avatar for the past five years. So, as you can imagine, this script was close to his heart. "Elijah was a soft-loving oddball. Different than anyone but loving and a musical genius. He was just open and wanted to be loved and seen."
Getty Images
Luke continued, "His life was taken from him. I resonate with his spirit and his words...through all the struggle and the pain he still found it in him to say, 'I love you and I forgive you.' And that's who we are as people—to our own detriment sometimes. He's someone I don't want people to forget. I have yet to remove his face from my world because I have yet to let go of his voice, let go of that being [because] there's so many people we have lost in our history that so often get forgotten."
He concluded, "I think that's the importance of such artwork that moves us to think and talk about it. Yes, it's entertaining. We get to come together and be spooked together. But then we come together and we think, 'Damn, Edmund needed someone to talk to. Edmund needed help... a lot [of] things could have been different. Edmund could have been saved.'
Check out the full interview below.
Luke James Talks Ditching Sex Symbol Status For "Them: The Scare", Elijah McClain, & More www.youtube.com
Featured image by Getty Images