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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Are you ready to learn if breakfast is a must-have or if that was just a myth that we’ve been told all of our lives? Read on and see.
Is Breakfast Truly the Most Important Meal of the Day?
GiphyOkay, so let’s tackle the most important part of this conversation: whether or not breakfast truly is the important meal of the day. When it comes to this, the first thing to remember is what breakfast pretty much means: BREAK. FAST.
After spending several hours resting so that your body is able to restore and rejuvenate itself, since you haven’t consumed anything during that time, breakfast is seen as a way to “refuel” your system. And so, if you’re looking at things from a “well duh” perspective, it would make sense that if you need energy to start your day off (right) and you’re aware of the fact that food can provide you with it, then you absolutely should partake in some sort of breakfast type of meal.
This is especially the case being that breakfast does everything from raise your blood sugar levels (that definitely took a dive while you were sleeping), help to prevent cravings, put you into a better mood and help to keep your stress levels down.
Keeping all of this in mind, the main thing to prioritize is watching what you eat when it comes to partaking in your first meal of the day. In fact, that is why, in some health expert circles, it’s somewhat debatable that you should have your heartiest meal in the morning. In fact, some say that of your three main meal options — breakfast, lunch and dinner — lunch should be your largest one (although between breakfast and dinner only, go with breakfast).
The main reason is because eating heavy in the morning could slow you down and eating late at night could make it hard to sleep (because your body is trying to digest your meal).
Okay, so aside from what I already said that breakfast can do for you, are there some other benefits that you should keep in mind?
The Other Benefits of Eating Breakfast
GiphyHonestly, what I already said about how breakfast can help you out provides a pretty solid case. There are some other “wins” that should go on record, though:
- People who eat breakfast on a consistent basis tend to be more physically active
- People who eat breakfast tend to snack less throughout the day (and if they do snack, the foods are usually healthier)
- People who eat breakfast are able to get more protein, carbs and fiber into their system which can help them to perform better at work
- People who eat breakfast tend to lower their risk of heart disease and type 2 diabetes
- People who eat breakfast are able to focus better, remember more and even articulate themselves more effectively
So yes, as you can see, there are all sorts of reasons why it’s a good idea to eat breakfast. Just make sure that you are consuming foods that will work in your favor like fresh fruit (plenty of nutrients with lots of hydration), omelets, yogurt or oatmeal (lots of protein) or whole grain toast (a healthy carb). And definitely slow down on breakfast foods that, one way or another, will end up doing more harm than good like processed meats (too much sodium), pancakes and waffles (between them and their condiments, too many calories) or even breakfast bars (more sugar than nutrients).
Because in order for breakfast to be beneficial, you’ve got to eat foods that are proven to actually…benefit you.
The Things That Make Breakfast an Absolute Must…Debatable
GiphyAight. So, with all of the things that I just shared about how breakfast is helpful, on a myriad of levels, will the world come crashing down if you go without it? I mean, as I said in the intro, it’s not on my personal list of top morning priorities and my health has remained in pretty good shape. I might be an exception and not the rule, though, so let’s see what science has to say.
If you’ve heard somewhere that breakfast can help to give your metabolism a boost, while there is some truth to that, if you’re thinking that automatically equates to losing weight — eh, not so much. Several studies say that folks who eat breakfast typically gain a couple of pounds more than anything. Now that doesn’t mean that you can’t have and enjoy breakfast; you’ve just got to be super intentional about going light and eating a larger lunch (like we discussed earlier).
Skipping breakfast can be a form of intermittent fasting. Although breakfast means you are breaking your fast of not eating since dinner, if you choose to wait until later on in the day, that can teach you how to listen to your body as far as your hunger cues go. Plus, there are proven advantages that come with intermittent fasting including weight loss, less stress, a lowered blood pressure, reduced bodily inflammation and cellular repair.
Another thing that can come from at least not eating breakfast every single day is it can “detox” your digestive system; especially if you tend to be a late-night eater (which, overall, isn’t the best for your body, by the way). Yeah, it’s always wise to keep in mind that 80 percent of your immunity is in your gut and so giving your digestive system time to “reset” can strengthen it in the long run. When it comes to this, some herbal tea or infused water may be all that you need in the early hours of your day.
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If you just read all of this and you’re thinking, “Breakfast is not as black and white as I thought” — yeah, that was my immediate takeaway too. So, when it comes to the title of this piece — is breakfast that big of a deal? I would say the answer is, it’s not something that should be treated as irrelevant or to be dismissed.
At the very least — and I am absolutely preaching to the choir as I say this — be intentional about getting something into your system before noon, even if it’s a bowl of berries with some Greek yogurt or a slice of avocado toast.
Why? Well, for the most part, the pros of having some sort of breakfast outweigh the advantages of skipping out (at least consistently). And that’s a good enough reason to take it seriously. Wouldn’t you say?
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