Karrueche Is A Reminder That A Break-up Can Be Essential To Your Glow-up
Karrueche Tran is out here living her best life. From starring in the hit television show Claws (staying booked and busy), to galavanting across the beach with her own personal piece of hot chocolate, Victor Cruz - she's reminding us to take notes on how to move on and glow-up.
Karrueche's relationship and split from Chris Brown was highly publicized, but also allowed her to use her platform in the media to create a lane for herself. Tabloids and even Chris himself have teased that she was using his name to rise to fame, but I strongly disagree with their perspective.
Karrueche was able to push through the pain and create her own happiness, amidst the bullsh*t and she deserves so much credit.
Time heals all, and heels hurt to walk in; at least that's what Drake said. A break-up with someone you thought you could spend your life with can be traumatic, and picking up the pieces can be a lot harder than it looks.
After my last breakup, I spent the better part of a year sick and tired, literally.I cried, and I slept, and wallowed in my sadness so much that my body caught the hint and my immune system literally gave up. I visited the emergency room more times than I have in 25 years of living in one year. I suffered from allergic reactions and infections that seemed to have no explanation; that was until I sat in on a sermon that asked the question, "Do you want to be well?"
The message in the sermon came at the perfect time and was one of those experiences when you know the pastor is speaking directly to you.
I let that statement echo in my mind for days, and came to the conclusion that I couldn't shake my exhaustion because I didn't want to. I allowed the sickness that I felt emotionally to manifest physically and I relished in it to the point where it was familiar, and I felt comfortable.
It wasn't until this year, after taking some serious alone time, that I remembered, "Oh yeah. I'm the shit." We sometimes get so overwhelmed by our emotions, that we forget that we were great before we met our lovers, and we will be great long after they leave.
A man being unable to recognize your worth does not depreciate your value.
Karrueche and Chris have had an on-again off-again relationship since 2010 and officially broke it off in 2015. In an Instagram post preluding her 2015 interview with Iyanla Vanzant, Karrueche owned her choices and said that she hopes opening up about her own experience will help other women discover love within themselves:
"This is about recognizing my mistakes and learning from them. I own up to all the poor choices I have made and pray for the better. I pray everyday to God to strengthen me as a human and a young woman."
Since then, she's been focused on her own personal glow up, pursuing an active acting career. In addition to her role in the TNT hit Claws, since her breakup, Karrueche has won a Daytime Emmy Award for producing the digital series The Bay, has had successful brand collaborations (Kae Pop for Colourpop for example), and has gained her footing in the modeling and entertainment industry alike.
Karrueche proves that positivity and self-evaluation are essential to moving forward after a bad breakup. Here are four things to keep in mind when you're attempting to break the cycle of an on-again off-again relationship:
Everything That You Think is Not True
Sometimes our thoughts can be deceiving, so don't believe everything that you think. Make the effort to consciously and actively plant seeds of love, faith, and forgiveness, and you will harvest fruit beyond your wildest dreams. The problem is, our brain gravitates toward what is most familiar: pain. Try to catch yourself mid-thought when you feel like indulging in negative self-talk, because it's not the truth.
You Can't Fill From An Empty Cup
Women of color are subjected to superwoman complex. We have to be everything to everyone, because we feel like if we are not, everything will fall apart. We can't show weakness or vulnerability out of fear that we will be judged or criticized. We have to learn to recognize when we are on E, or we will never perform at our full potential. It's okay to not be okay, but pretending like you are won't allow you to heal. Feeling is healing.
You're Not Lonely, You're Alone
You are so dope. If I'm the first person to tell you that today, you need to check in with yourself. The age of social media makes us feel the need to constantly be connected. I suggest that you take some time to be less accessible. Not everybody should be able to reach you all the time. Designate some time in your days, or even your whole day if time allows, that is just for you. Just because you're alone doesn't mean your lonely. Use that time to get to know yourself.
An Idle Mind is The Devil's Workshop
Use your newfound alone time to be productive. If you continue to be steadfast in the pursuit of your purpose, everything will fall into place. "Boredom" can lead to some serious backpedaling and a slew of bad decisions. Spend your time on the things that matter, because time is all we have. There will come a time to love again, but use your time alone to selfishly love yourself.
Go hiking. Apply for a new job. Read something for fun. Watch what you want on Netflix without having to wonder if your partner likes this show. You like this show, damn it.
Karrueche is proof of what can happen when you have the strength to break the cycle of depthless monogamy and love yourself for a while. You might just stumble across your own personal piece of hot chocolate in the meantime.
Thrive, baby, thrive.
Featured image by Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com
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- Signs You Are Healing From A Breakup - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Karrueche Tran Makes History With 2021 Emmy Win - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Sheila Rashid's Androgynous Approach To Unisex Clothing Is A Lesson In Embracing Individuality
The ItGirl 100 List is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
For Sheila Rashid, it all started with some free-hand drawings and a few strokes of paint.
The Chicago-based clothing designer and creative director of Sheila Rashid Brand recalls using her spare time in high school to hand paint designs on t-shirts and distressed hoodies, distributing them to classmates as walking billboards for her art.
Rashid sought to pursue fashion design at Columbia College in Chicago but eventually took the self-taught route to build upon her knack for crafting one-of-a-kind, androgynous pieces.
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Thanks to the mentorship of local designers taking her under their wings, Rashid was able to gain valuable experience in putting together collections and creating patterns; equipping her with them with the necessary skills to pursue her own collections.
After two years of living in New York, Rashid returned home to the Chi and uncovered the unique flair she could offer the city. “I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world,” she tells xoNecole. “That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
For the Midwest native, inspiration comes from her time around creative peers and the city’s notorious winters — known to be a main character in many Chicagoans stories. “It's a different perspective and mindset when I'm making stuff because of the weather here,” she explains. “When we get summer, it’s ‘Summertime Chi’ — it's amazing. It's beautiful. Still, I find myself always making clothes that cater to the winter.”
"I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world. That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
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Many designers have a signature aesthetic or theme in their creations. In Rashid’s design story, dancing between the lines of femininity and masculinity is how she’s been able to distinguish herself within the industry. Her androgynous clothing has garnered the eye of celebrities like Zendaya, Chance the Rapper, WNBA star Sydney Colson, and more — showing her range and approach to designs with inclusivity in mind.
“I think I do reflect my own style,” she says. “When I do make pieces, I'm very tomboyish, androgynous. My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes.” From denim to overalls, and color-drenched outerwear, Rashid has mastered the structure of statement pieces that tell a story.
“Each collection, I never know what's going to be the thing I'm going to focus on. I try to reflect my own style and have fun with the storytelling,” she shares. “I look at it more like it's my art in this small way of expressing myself, so it's not that calculated.”
"My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes."
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Still, if you were able to add up all the moments within Rashid’s 20-year career in design, one theme that has multiplied her into becoming an “ItGirl” is her confidence to take up space within the fashion industry as a queer, Black woman. “Being an ItGirl is about being yourself, loving what you do, finding your niche, and mastering that,” she says.
No matter where you are on your ItGirl journey, Rashid says to always remain persistent and never hesitate to share your art with the world. “Don’t give up. Even if it's something small, finish it and don't be afraid to put it out,” she says, “It's about tackling your own fear of feeling like you have to please everybody, but just please yourself, and that's good enough.”
To learn more about the ItGirl 100 List, view the full list here.
Featured image Courtesy