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Karrueche Is A Reminder That A Break-up Can Be Essential To Your Glow-up

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Karrueche Tran is out here living her best life. From starring in the hit television show Claws (staying booked and busy), to galavanting across the beach with her own personal piece of hot chocolate, Victor Cruz - she's reminding us to take notes on how to move on and glow-up.

Karrueche's relationship and split from Chris Brown was highly publicized, but also allowed her to use her platform in the media to create a lane for herself. Tabloids and even Chris himself have teased that she was using his name to rise to fame, but I strongly disagree with their perspective.

Karrueche was able to push through the pain and create her own happiness, amidst the bullsh*t and she deserves so much credit.

Time heals all, and heels hurt to walk in; at least that's what Drake said. A break-up with someone you thought you could spend your life with can be traumatic, and picking up the pieces can be a lot harder than it looks.

After my last breakup, I spent the better part of a year sick and tired, literally.I cried, and I slept, and wallowed in my sadness so much that my body caught the hint and my immune system literally gave up. I visited the emergency room more times than I have in 25 years of living in one year. I suffered from allergic reactions and infections that seemed to have no explanation; that was until I sat in on a sermon that asked the question, "Do you want to be well?"

The message in the sermon came at the perfect time and was one of those experiences when you know the pastor is speaking directly to you.

I let that statement echo in my mind for days, and came to the conclusion that I couldn't shake my exhaustion because I didn't want to. I allowed the sickness that I felt emotionally to manifest physically and I relished in it to the point where it was familiar, and I felt comfortable.

It wasn't until this year, after taking some serious alone time, that I remembered, "Oh yeah. I'm the shit." We sometimes get so overwhelmed by our emotions, that we forget that we were great before we met our lovers, and we will be great long after they leave.

A man being unable to recognize your worth does not depreciate your value.

Karrueche and Chris have had an on-again off-again relationship since 2010 and officially broke it off in 2015. In an Instagram post preluding her 2015 interview with Iyanla Vanzant, Karrueche owned her choices and said that she hopes opening up about her own experience will help other women discover love within themselves:

"This is about recognizing my mistakes and learning from them. I own up to all the poor choices I have made and pray for the better. I pray everyday to God to strengthen me as a human and a young woman."

Since then, she's been focused on her own personal glow up, pursuing an active acting career. In addition to her role in the TNT hit Claws, since her breakup, Karrueche has won a Daytime Emmy Award for producing the digital series The Bay, has had successful brand collaborations (Kae Pop for Colourpop for example), and has gained her footing in the modeling and entertainment industry alike.

Karrueche proves that positivity and self-evaluation are essential to moving forward after a bad breakup. Here are four things to keep in mind when you're attempting to break the cycle of an on-again off-again relationship:

Everything That You Think is Not True

Sometimes our thoughts can be deceiving, so don't believe everything that you think. Make the effort to consciously and actively plant seeds of love, faith, and forgiveness, and you will harvest fruit beyond your wildest dreams. The problem is, our brain gravitates toward what is most familiar: pain. Try to catch yourself mid-thought when you feel like indulging in negative self-talk, because it's not the truth.

You Can't Fill From An Empty Cup

Women of color are subjected to superwoman complex. We have to be everything to everyone, because we feel like if we are not, everything will fall apart. We can't show weakness or vulnerability out of fear that we will be judged or criticized. We have to learn to recognize when we are on E, or we will never perform at our full potential. It's okay to not be okay, but pretending like you are won't allow you to heal. Feeling is healing.

You're Not Lonely, You're Alone

You are so dope. If I'm the first person to tell you that today, you need to check in with yourself. The age of social media makes us feel the need to constantly be connected. I suggest that you take some time to be less accessible. Not everybody should be able to reach you all the time. Designate some time in your days, or even your whole day if time allows, that is just for you. Just because you're alone doesn't mean your lonely. Use that time to get to know yourself.

An Idle Mind is The Devil's Workshop

Use your newfound alone time to be productive. If you continue to be steadfast in the pursuit of your purpose, everything will fall into place. "Boredom" can lead to some serious backpedaling and a slew of bad decisions. Spend your time on the things that matter, because time is all we have. There will come a time to love again, but use your time alone to selfishly love yourself.

Go hiking. Apply for a new job. Read something for fun. Watch what you want on Netflix without having to wonder if your partner likes this show. You like this show, damn it.

Karrueche is proof of what can happen when you have the strength to break the cycle of depthless monogamy and love yourself for a while. You might just stumble across your own personal piece of hot chocolate in the meantime.

Thrive, baby, thrive.

Featured image by Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com

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