Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com

Karrueche Is A Reminder That A Break-up Can Be Essential To Your Glow-up

Celebrity News

Karrueche Tran is out here living her best life. From starring in the hit television show Claws (staying booked and busy), to galavanting across the beach with her own personal piece of hot chocolate, Victor Cruz - she's reminding us to take notes on how to move on and glow-up.

Karrueche's relationship and split from Chris Brown was highly publicized, but also allowed her to use her platform in the media to create a lane for herself. Tabloids and even Chris himself have teased that she was using his name to rise to fame, but I strongly disagree with their perspective.

Karrueche was able to push through the pain and create her own happiness, amidst the bullsh*t and she deserves so much credit.

Time heals all, and heels hurt to walk in; at least that's what Drake said. A break-up with someone you thought you could spend your life with can be traumatic, and picking up the pieces can be a lot harder than it looks.

After my last breakup, I spent the better part of a year sick and tired, literally.I cried, and I slept, and wallowed in my sadness so much that my body caught the hint and my immune system literally gave up. I visited the emergency room more times than I have in 25 years of living in one year. I suffered from allergic reactions and infections that seemed to have no explanation; that was until I sat in on a sermon that asked the question, "Do you want to be well?"

The message in the sermon came at the perfect time and was one of those experiences when you know the pastor is speaking directly to you.

I let that statement echo in my mind for days, and came to the conclusion that I couldn't shake my exhaustion because I didn't want to. I allowed the sickness that I felt emotionally to manifest physically and I relished in it to the point where it was familiar, and I felt comfortable.

It wasn't until this year, after taking some serious alone time, that I remembered, "Oh yeah. I'm the shit." We sometimes get so overwhelmed by our emotions, that we forget that we were great before we met our lovers, and we will be great long after they leave.

A man being unable to recognize your worth does not depreciate your value.

Karrueche and Chris have had an on-again off-again relationship since 2010 and officially broke it off in 2015. In an Instagram post preluding her 2015 interview with Iyanla Vanzant, Karrueche owned her choices and said that she hopes opening up about her own experience will help other women discover love within themselves:

"This is about recognizing my mistakes and learning from them. I own up to all the poor choices I have made and pray for the better. I pray everyday to God to strengthen me as a human and a young woman."

Since then, she's been focused on her own personal glow up, pursuing an active acting career. In addition to her role in the TNT hit Claws, since her breakup, Karrueche has won a Daytime Emmy Award for producing the digital series The Bay, has had successful brand collaborations (Kae Pop for Colourpop for example), and has gained her footing in the modeling and entertainment industry alike.

Karrueche proves that positivity and self-evaluation are essential to moving forward after a bad breakup. Here are four things to keep in mind when you're attempting to break the cycle of an on-again off-again relationship:

Everything That You Think is Not True

Sometimes our thoughts can be deceiving, so don't believe everything that you think. Make the effort to consciously and actively plant seeds of love, faith, and forgiveness, and you will harvest fruit beyond your wildest dreams. The problem is, our brain gravitates toward what is most familiar: pain. Try to catch yourself mid-thought when you feel like indulging in negative self-talk, because it's not the truth.

You Can't Fill From An Empty Cup

Women of color are subjected to superwoman complex. We have to be everything to everyone, because we feel like if we are not, everything will fall apart. We can't show weakness or vulnerability out of fear that we will be judged or criticized. We have to learn to recognize when we are on E, or we will never perform at our full potential. It's okay to not be okay, but pretending like you are won't allow you to heal. Feeling is healing.

You're Not Lonely, You're Alone

You are so dope. If I'm the first person to tell you that today, you need to check in with yourself. The age of social media makes us feel the need to constantly be connected. I suggest that you take some time to be less accessible. Not everybody should be able to reach you all the time. Designate some time in your days, or even your whole day if time allows, that is just for you. Just because you're alone doesn't mean your lonely. Use that time to get to know yourself.

An Idle Mind is The Devil's Workshop

Use your newfound alone time to be productive. If you continue to be steadfast in the pursuit of your purpose, everything will fall into place. "Boredom" can lead to some serious backpedaling and a slew of bad decisions. Spend your time on the things that matter, because time is all we have. There will come a time to love again, but use your time alone to selfishly love yourself.

Go hiking. Apply for a new job. Read something for fun. Watch what you want on Netflix without having to wonder if your partner likes this show. You like this show, damn it.

Karrueche is proof of what can happen when you have the strength to break the cycle of depthless monogamy and love yourself for a while. You might just stumble across your own personal piece of hot chocolate in the meantime.

Thrive, baby, thrive.

Featured image by Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com

Before she was Amira Unplugged, rapper, singer, and a Becoming a Popstar contestant on MTV, she was Amira Daughtery, a twenty-five year-old Georgian, with aspirations of becoming a lawyer. “I thought my career path was going to lead me to law because that’s the way I thought I would help people,” Amira tells xoNecole. “[But] I always came back to music.”

A music lover since childhood, Amira grew up in an artistic household where passion for music was emphasized. “My dad has always been my huge inspiration for music because he’s a musician himself and is so passionate about the history of music.” Amira’s also dealt with deafness in one ear since she was a toddler, a condition which she says only makes her more “intentional” about the music she makes, to ensure that what she hears inside her head can translate the way she wants it to for audiences.

“The loss of hearing means a person can’t experience music in the conventional way,” she says. “I’ve always responded to bigger, bolder anthemic songs because I can feel them [the vibrations] in my body, and I want to be sure my music does this for deaf/HOH people and everyone.”

A Black woman wearing a black hijab and black and gold dress stands in between two men who are both wearing black pants and colorful jackets and necklaces

Amira Unplugged and other contestants on Becoming a Popstar

Amira Unplugged / MTV

In order to lift people’s spirits at the beginning of the pandemic, Amira began posting videos on TikTok of herself singing and using sign language so her music could reach her deaf fans as well. She was surprised by how quickly she was able to amass a large audience. It was through her videos that she caught the attention of a talent scout for MTV’s new music competition show for rising TikTok singers, Becoming a Popstar. After a three-month process, Amira was one of those picked to be a contestant on the show.

Becoming a Popstar, as Amira describes, is different from other music competition shows we’ve all come to know over the years. “Well, first of all, it’s all original music. There’s not a single cover,” she says. “We have to write these songs in like a day or two and then meet with our producers, meet with our directors. Every week, we are producing a full project for people to vote on and decide if they’d listen to it on the radio.”

To make sure her deaf/HOH audiences can feel her songs, she makes sure to “add more bass, guitar, and violin in unique patterns.” She also incorporates “higher pitch sounds with like chimes, bells, and piccolo,” because, she says, they’re easier to feel. “But it’s less about the kind of instrument and more about how I arrange the pattern of the song. Everything I do is to create an atmosphere, a sensation, to make my music a multi-sensory experience.”

She says that working alongside the judges–pop stars Joe Jonas and Becky G, and choreographer Sean Bankhead – has helped expand her artistry. “Joe was really more about the vocal quality and the timber and Becky was really about the passion of [the song] and being convinced this was something you believed in,” she says. “And what was really great about [our choreographer] Sean is that obviously he’s a choreographer to the stars – Lil Nas X, Normani – but he didn’t only focus on choreo, he focused on stage presence, he focused on the overall message of the song. And I think all those critiques week to week helped us hone in on what we wanted to be saying with our next song.”

As her star rises, it’s been both her Muslim faith and her friends, whom she calls “The Glasses Gang” (“because none of us can see!”), that continue to ground her. “The Muslim and the Muslima community have really gone hard [supporting me] and all these people have come together and I truly appreciate them,” Amira says. “I have just been flooded with DMs and emails and texts from [young muslim kids] people who have just been so inspired,” she says. “People who have said they have never seen anything like this, that I embody a lot of the style that they wanted to see and that the message hit them, which is really the most important thing to me.”

A Black woman wears a long, salmon pink hijab, black outfit and pink boots, smiling down at the camera with her arm outstretched to it.

Amira Unplugged

Amira Unplugged / MTV

Throughout the show’s production, she was able to continue to uphold her faith practices with the help of the crew, such as making sure her food was halal, having time to pray, dressing modestly, and working with female choreographers. “If people can accept this, can learn, and can grow, and bring more people into the fold of this industry, then I’m making a real difference,” she says.

Though she didn’t win the competition, this is only the beginning for Amira. Whether it’s on Becoming a Popstar or her videos online, Amira has made it clear she has no plans on going anywhere but up. “I’m so excited that I’ve gotten this opportunity because this is really, truly what I think I’m meant to do.”

The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.

Today is Malcolm X’s birthday. As an icon of Black liberation movements, his words are often rallying cries and guideposts in struggle. In 2020, after the officers who executed Breonna Taylor were not charged with her murder, my timeline was flooded with people reposting Malcolm’s famous quote: “The most disrespected person in America is the Black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the Black woman. The most neglected person in America is the Black woman.”

Keep reading...Show less

As her fame continues to rise, Tiffany Haddish has remained a positive light for her fans with her infectious smile and relatable story. Since Girls Trip, fans have witnessed the comedian become a modern-day Cinderella due to the many opportunities that have come her way and the recognition she began to receive.

Keep reading...Show less

We’ve all been there: Exhausted, lacking motivation, on edge, or simply not feeling like working at all. And we might have even used up all of our sick days, not to rest from a cold or injury, but just to get a bit of relief from those job or business responsibilities. Sometimes, you're not able to shake that nagging feeling of gloom, eventually finding yourself in a toxic pattern of unhealthy habits and behaviors. There's a larger issue that goes way beyond just needing a break.

Keep reading...Show less

CultureCon is one of the top conferences for creative people of color to attend to meet fellow changemakers. The event, which is presented by the Creative Collective NYC, has attracted some of our favorite entertainers as keynote speakers such as Tracee Ellis Ross, Chloe x Halle, Michael B. Jordan, and many more.

Keep reading...Show less
Exclusive Interviews

Exclusive: Jay Ellis Shares ‘Full-Circle’ Moment With His Parents & His Self-Care Ritual

Staying grounded is one of the actor's biggest priorities.

Latest Posts