Check Out 3 Simple Ways To Make Each Area Of Your Life Instantly Better

1. Always “Default” to Your Purpose

I’m telling y’all — if there is one thing that irks me to the nth degree, it’s people who worship the idol of happiness. And although that might sound crazy on the surface, hear me out. Think about what the definitions of happy are: “delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing” and “characterized by or indicative of pleasure, contentment, or joy.” Okay, now think about every aspect of your life — are you happy ALL of the time…in any of them? Of course, not. Happiness is an emotion and a pretty circumstantial and borderline fleeting and fickle one, at that.

That’s why, whenever my clients say things to me like their partner should “make them happy” or they are going to break their promises/vows because they aren’t “happy anymore,” they all will tell you that, one of the first things to come out of my mouth is gonna be, “You may not be happy right now yet is the relationship healthy overall?”

You see, children are individuals who think that they should be happy 24/7 and that it’s other people’s responsibility to ensure that they are. Meanwhile, it’s wisdom and maturity which teach you that healthy should trump happy at every hand — and that’s why I adore the quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson that says, “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well” because y’all, when you really let this way of thinking settle into your spirit, it really can make a bad day better.

Why? Because when you stop trying to be happy all of the time and instead, you opt to get your mind, body and spirit into being useful, doing things in an honorable way, extending compassion to those around you and really making a difference — that puts you into a state of knowing that you are contributing greatness into the world and how can that not elevate your being? How can that not make you a healthier/better person?

And what if there are times when you don’t know how to do that? My two cents would be to default to your original settings by relying on your purpose. What I mean by that is, I have said, multiple times on this platform, that NOTHING should come before your purpose other than God himself because your purpose is “the reason for which something exists or is done, made, used, etc.”

For me, this summer has been GEEZE…and yet, whenever I find myself feeling stressed, I remind myself of what my purpose is (mine personally is to teach on the covenant principles of marriage, sex and the biblical Sabbath) and I put my focus and energy into that — and you know what? It instantly reminds me of my value and relevance, for such a time as this, on the earth. It also tends to inspire and motivate me to come up with new ideas for how to progress in those areas.

Not too long ago, I was talking to a male friend of mine who, although he is hella successful (especially to not even be 50 yet), there is a void within him, because although he makes money, he still hasn’t “scratched the itch” of what his purpose in life is. I’m telling you, no matter what is going on in or around you, when you know that you know that you know why you are here, you can get through just about anything.

So, if you can relate to my friend and you still need some help figuring out what your purpose is, check out “Still Don't Know Your Purpose? Answer These 7 Questions.” It may help you to connect a few dots — so that this hack can end up being a reliable one for you.

2. Remember Your Name’s Meaning

It’s no secret that, historically, people of Hebrew and African culture believe that a child’s name speaks to their purpose (which is why, as a doula, I encourage parents to not choose names that just “sound good”; it’s best to select ones that they have put a lot of thought into) — and y’all, if there is one thing that my mother did absolutely right, it was give me my name. As “legend” would have it, although my name was supposed to have been Ryan (whether I was a boy or a girl; Ryan means “little leader”, by the way), according to her, when I was born, “You looked like a little Indian and God told me to name you ‘Shellie.’”

For years, that never made much sense to me. That is until I was walking in a local mall one day, I ran into an Israeli named Le-Tal and, when she told me that I was pretty and asked for my name, she immediately said, “Oh, you have a Hebrew name. It means ‘Mine; Belonging to Me.’ It means that you belong to God.” Since then, so many dots have connected; especially once I was led to the “anchor text” for my name which is Ezekiel 16 which talks about God making a love covenant.

Anyway, since I know that my entire purpose is about the three covenant principles that I just mentioned, Shellie (in Hebrew, it’s Sheli) makes a whole lot of sense. Also, since I know that my middle name Reneé means “reborn” and Warren means “loyal protector” — listen here…whenever I’m feeling low or even just overwhelmed, I think about the power that is within my name and it instantly empowers me. I am here to teach covenant, I transition often in my growth because my middle name calls me to do so, and I am a chihuahua/pit bull blend about my friends because my last name calls me to be.

You know, it’s wild, how many people I talk to on a weekly basis, who have absolutely no clue what their name means. That said, if you’re looking for a pick-me-up, Google your own (all of your names) sometime — you might be surprised by what you discover about yourself or what your name encourages you to do at any given moment and time.

And speaking of time…one more “get through it” tip.

3. Let Timing Do Its Thing

I’ll be honest with y’all — there ain’t too many modern-day evangelical pastors that I get down with (honestly, ain’t too many pastors, period, who move me; folks seem to be getting further and further away from I Timothy 3, if you ask me.

Folks also need to read Pagan Christianity sometime). However, one who, based on what I know/have heard about him, I do respect is a man by the name of John Piper. One of my favorite quotes from him is, “God is always doing 10,000 things in your life and you may be aware of three of them.” Boy, ain’t THAT the truth.

When you’re going through a test or trial; when you’ve recently received some not-so-great news; when someone has hurt or disappointed you; when you are waiting for something that seems to be taking forever to come to pass, and/or when you’re just wondering when the season you’re in is going to shift into something different — you’ve always got to remember that, like John Piper implied via his pearls of wisdom, there are puzzle pieces in play (to create an overall picture) that your finite insight knows absolutely nothing about AND that that timing needs to be granted the space to handle.

I’ve been writing for this platform for almost eight years at this point and so, I’m pretty sure that, in one of these articles, I’ve referenced that one of my favorite analogies is comparing doing your best to making homemade chocolate chip cookies. You know, no matter what the ingredients of the cookies are, you can never do the job of the oven and the time that it takes for them to heat up inside of one. And when it comes to your life?

I don’t care if it’s a new job (or a promotion), a relationship, reaching a specific personal goal — whatever it may be, sometimes you have to surrender to the fact that after you’ve done all that you can possible do…it’s time to fully surrender and allow timing to take over: to simply tell yourself, almost like a mantra, “It’s just not time yet and time is looking out for me.”

This is actually why I find so much peace in the Scripture “Timing is the Father’s business.” (Acts 1:7-Message) It’s a reminder that I don’t have to have “it” all figured out. So long as I do my best and commit to being consistent in that, I’ve got to allow God and timing to do whatever else needs to be done. And yes, resting in that reality (Ecclesiastes 7:18 — Message) is an ultimate life hack. TRUST ME.

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When something is better, that simply means that, on some level, it has improved. Try these out. If “better” is what transpires, then you are just a hop, skip and jump away from good and then…GREAT!

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