K-I-S-S-I-N-G was supposed to lead to love, then marriage, and then a baby carriage. And though that clearly isn't how that works, I think we can all remember learning how to French kiss being sort of a big deal in adolescence. Still. It's one of those things that you don't forget. Truly, my first kiss is still the source of my anxiety when it comes to the most basic tongue action that we'll ever discuss as adults: French kissing. I was in eighth grade and the boy who I had been pining over for all of the fall semester was finally mine. It was after school in the hall as he was on his way to basketball practice when he leaned in for a kiss. I quickly called attention to the fact that I didn't know how to kiss in an awkward outburst. He ran off laughing and told the entire locker room.
To this day, I'm not all that certain I'm the best kisser, though I hopefully hope no one has me on their list of worst kissers. Much like when Hitch instructed Kevin to stick with a two-step in the 2005 eponymously named film, I coach myself to stick with the one-two step of tonguing. I let our tongues wrestle just a little and then when I'm not certain what comes next, I suck and bite a little lip. However, I'm certain that French kissing can be far more intricate than this.
Thankfully, I know my strengths and weaknesses well enough to know that I had to use a lifeline for this one. I got in touch with Tyomi Morgan, ACS Pleasure Coach and certified Sexologist to pick her brain. Better yet on a few, much-needed pointers to achieve the much desired accolade of most improved French kisser.
You'll be happy to find that she delivered, here's what was said.
Kissing With Tongue: How To French Kiss, According To An Expert
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Like I said, I'm not the best kisser so it always feels super awkward right down to not really understanding where my tongue should be and when it should be there. Morgan says, "The dance that tongues do during French kissing really depends on the people who are in the act. One partner may have a more dominant approach while the other is more passive. There are situations where both partners are dominant in how they approach the French kiss which could lead to awkwardness...it's all about creating a balance that allows the kissing to flow effortlessly."
The Pleasure Coach adds, "One partner secedes to the other and allows the other to lead. Then, roles can be reversed allowing the submissive partner to take the lead.
"Tongues can do a lot of different things in the French kiss. Partners can touch tongue tips or circle each other's tips while the tongues are poked out. One partner can suck on the other's tongue while it pokes in and out, or tongues can rub up against each other with the upper side caressing the underside of the other. Tongues can chase each other inside of their mouths, embrace like sword fighting or rub up against the inner lips. The tip of the tongue can also be used to flick or trace the lips as well.
"Tongues are always moving in a French kiss — how they move is determined by the messages they want to convey to each other."
This actually provides relief in understanding not only what I'm "supposed" to do but also knowing why many of my kisses have probably been so awkward. In always feeling compelled to do something, and absolutely anything, I will dominate the kiss without offering space for my partners to do so. I do this to fill the "silence" so to speak and pose as if I know what I'm doing. When in actuality, the key is to let it flow!
Know That The Tongue Is A Muscle & Work It Like One
black and white love GIFGiphyIf practice makes perfect, then how exactly can we apply that logic to kissing? Me, personally, I visualize that scene from Superstar where ol' girl is making out with the tree. But Morgan recommends working out. Yes, you read that absolutely right! "The tongue is a muscle and must be worked out just like any other muscle in the body. Flabby tongues don't maneuver as well as strong ones, and don't have as much control.
"Strengthening the tongue is the first thing to do to gain control over the tongue's ability to deliver pleasurable strokes. The techniques found in the book, Blow Him Away by Marcy Michaels contains several tongue strengthening exercises that are easy to perform on a daily basis. Using the tongue to eat treats from cups like applesauce, pudding, jello or even frozen desserts are great ways to practice using the tongue as well. Licking food from spoons also helps."
As someone who will lick anything out of a cup rather than waste spoons, my tongue might be better off than I anticipated. And as far as technique? Well, watch and learn! Not me, of course. "Watching videos of people French kissing goes a long way in providing examples of how to move tongues when in a French kiss."
If you've already mastered the French kiss, the Glam Erotica founder gives us some additional tips that will help add to the sensuality of your French kisses:
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1. Keep it Slow and Steady
As my supervisor says "this is a marathon not a race" and thus it makes sense that Morgan suggests being mindful of our breath when we're kissing. "Breathing plays a big part in French kissing, as the noses are close together and the mouth is in action.
"Slowing down the breath and exhaling gently through the mouth is a technique that can help with connection and controlling the pace of kissing. Letting out sighs of ecstasy and moans of enjoyment can also heighten the experience and communicate your desire for more to a partner."
2. Touch and Go
Additionally, "Using your hands to grab, caress or rub on other erogenous zones while locking lips and tongues is an easy way to heighten arousal and take things up a notch. Rinsing the mouth before kissing or popping a piece of gum or a breath mint will go a long way."
3. Food-play for Foreplay
Big bonus game? Make your kisses edible. Yes. Expert Tyomi Morgan suggests integrating some food to up the kinky on your kisses.
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As we transition from summer to fall, there’s no need to spend too many coins curating a brand new seasonal wardrobe, especially in this economy. Instead of shopping targeted ads, we interviewed fashion-forward influencers to spark our imagination and gather insight on what they’re already wearing leading into the upcoming season. Keep scrolling to get the scoop on essential items these fashion-forward women are looking forward to wearing this fall.
Helecia Williams, Houston
Comfort
Helecia’s style in three words: “Structured, bold, and explorative.”
Helecia’s outfit inspiration: “I am most interested in comfort as a trend. I am truly enjoying the mix of flats with elevated outfits and the incorporation of street-style elements into the looks. I have seen so much juxtaposition that makes the outfits interesting and intriguing. I love the pairing of fitted caps with [suits] and ballet flats. That mashup is impeccable, and we saw some of that peeking through last fall, and now it's taken on a life of its own.
"As a sneaker lover and comfort sneakers, bringing back flats is just a reimagination of past trends with a fresh twist.”
What color(s) is on Helecia’s fall mood board: “Hands down, red! It's such a bold and bossy color. Now, we see it becoming much more accessible in fashion and realize how easy it is to style and incorporate into a look for that extra pop. It also pairs well with so many other shades and tones. Some of my favorite combos are red and burgundy, red and yellow, and red and brown. Even if you aren't fully convinced that it's the color of the season and still have reservations about it, you can go classic and incorporate it in an accessory or makeup like a red lip.”
Are you bringing anything back from your 2023 fall wardrobe? “I will be returning and recycling all of my 2023 fall wardrobe and just styling it differently or giving it new life. Despite my love for trends, I've curated a wardrobe that I love so I will mix the old in with the new. And not to toot my own horn but a lot of my fashion moments are ahead of the times and still very relevant for this upcoming fall. Expect to see tons of texture, juxtaposition, unexpected color combos, and street style.”
How Helecia is accessorizing this season: “I hate to admit it, but the one trend that has me in a chokehold this fall is bold jewelry, particularly in gold. I've realized that accessories can do wonders, and the Schiaparelli era has me shook. I am a ‘Stan’ of Shop Khoi, a Black-owned jewelry brand that creates some of the most amazing, high-quality fashion jewelry. It just sets off any outfit no matter how simple it may be and easily becomes a conversation piece.”
Courtney Blackwell, New York City
Courtney’s style in three words: “Vintage, oversize, and sexy.”
Courtney’s most anticipated fall fashion items: “The fashion item I am anticipating wearing is vintage leather in all colors!”
Courtney's color picks for fall: “Cherry reds, forest greens, and different shades of gray.”
The trend that has Courtney in a chokehold this season: “Skirts! I’ve never been a skirt girly, well mini skirts girly, but I think I’m going to step it up with the minis this fall.”
Shaniqua Jordan, New York City
Timeless
Shaniqua’s personal styling tip for fall: “I hate to admit it, but the one trend that has me in a chokehold this fall is any oversized outerwear piece, especially oversized blazers. And as basic as it may sound, I can't get enough of them. They instantly elevate any look, and they're so versatile, whether I'm going for a polished vibe or something more casual. Plus, they are perfect for layering as the weather cools down.
"I know most people wouldn't typically opt for suede, but if you've been following my style, you know I'm all about my outerwear. I love adding texture to my looks, even if it's subtle, and a good suede jacket does that for me. The soft texture and rich hues of suede add that cherry on top for any fall look. Whether I'm rocking a bomber style in a jewel tone or a tailored trench in a neutral shade, a suede jacket is one piece I'm looking forward to wearing to elevate my fall wardrobe.”
These colors are all over Shaniqua’s fall mood board: “The colors on my fall mood board are rich earth tones like deep browns and olive greens paired with classic neutrals like camel and cream. I'd like to throw in a pop of butter yellow. I know it might seem more spring-like, but I love how it pairs with deep browns, oxblood, and even grays. It's the perfect way to brighten up those cozy, moody fall vibes. I'm also loving pops of bold jewel tones like emerald and burgundy to add a bit of luxe to the season. These shades give that cozy yet elevated feel I'm always aiming for in my fall wardrobe.”
Shaniqua describes her fall wardrobe in three words: “If I describe my fall wardrobe in three words, they would be chic, layered, and timeless. I love combining unique pieces with a classic touch, creating looks that stand out without trying too hard. It's all about finding that perfect balance between staying true to timeless fashion and adding my own signature flair.”
Are you bringing anything back from your 2023 fall wardrobe? "I am definitely an outfit repeater, so not only will I bring back pieces from my 2023 fall wardrobe, but I also have so many oldies but goodies that I’ll be incorporating into my fall 2024 looks. I think that's what really helps convey my personal style; buying pieces I genuinely love and being able to work them into my style season after season. It's all about longevity and staying true to what I love."
Alasia Allen, Los Angeles
Provocative
Alasia describes her style in three words: “Opulent, sleek, provocative.”
The fashion item Alasia anticipates wearing the most this fall: “I’m really into gloves this season. Whether it’s biker style or long, sleek, leather gloves, they add an interesting take to a fall look.”
The fall colors catching Alasia’s eye: “I’m loving navy or a super deep purple this season so I’ll be adding those into my wardrobe. They’re both so sophisticated and a good alternative to black.”
The fall staple Alaisa plans to bring back from her 2023 wardrobe: “Every year, I wear a shearling coat. It’s timeless, it’s warm, it’s my thing. There’s something very elevating about shearlings that have drawn to me year after year, and that’s what makes them my favorite style of outwear.”
The accessory that has Alasia in a chokehold this season: “Boots. I love a good boot as my go-to accessory for the fall/winter season. My favorites are boots that have a little flair to them and an interesting shape.”
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Although it might not be something that you’ve ever considered adding to your diet before, I’m about to break down some of the reasons why it absolutely should be — because, when it comes to a food that will have you thinking, “Where have you been all of my life?” bee pollen is slowly yet surely beginning to top a lot of people’s list.
What Is Bee Pollen?
Although a lot of people think that bee pollen is not much different than say, honey, that actually isn’t the case. Bee pollen is a mixture of bee nectar, flower pollen, honey, bee enzymes, beeswax, and other bee secretions. These things work together to provide your system with all sorts of nutrients, amino acids, and protein (which means that it could be considered vegan, although it depends on what your take on bee harvesting is).
In fact, some scientists and researchers have so much respect for what bee pollen has the ability to do, health-wise, that they don’t just consider it to be food but a form of medicine as well.
Photo by How to Eat Bee Pollen
If you’ve never tried bee pollen before, you might wonder what it tastes like. What a lot of people say is it’s slightly sweet, semi-nutty, and a little floral. That’s actually why many will not just take it in supplement form, they may consume it as a tea or sprinkle it over their yogurt, put it in a smoothie, add it to their cereal, use it as a garnish for their toast, or acai bowls, grind it up to put into their dessert recipes or use it as an overall sweetener alternative. Yeah, that’s one of the best things about bee pollen — it’s super versatile when it comes to how you can easily get it into your system.
As far as storing it goes, make sure to keep your bee pollen in airtight containers and away from sunlight. It’s also a good idea to keep your pollen in the refrigerator; that way, your enzymes will remain potent for a longer period of time.
Keeping all of this in mind, let’s get into some of the reasons why you should get yourself some bee pollen (if you’re not allergic and your physician gives you the green light, that is) sooner than later.
Who Shouldn’t Use Bee Pollen
Now before I get into seven ways that bee pollen can certainly do your body good, a word of caution: If you’re allergic to pollen, you definitely should leave bee pollen alone. Also, if you happen to be pregnant or taking a prescribed medication, ask your doctor first before consuming bee pollen; as far as pregnancy goes, sometimes it can stimulate the uterus, which is something that you definitely don’t want if you’re not close to your due date.
It should also go on record that there is a slight chance that you could end up with a contaminated batch of bee pollen. One telling sign is if there is a lot of moisture in the bee pollen that you’ve purchased. If so, don’t use it. Same goes for if it smells bad or you notice any type of mold. If either is the case, toss the bee pollen out.
What Does Bee Pollen Do To Your Body?
What does bee pollen do for your health?
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1. Bee Pollen Reduces (Some) Menopause-Related Symptoms
GiphyAight, who had it on their bingo card that bee pollen could help with perimenopause and menopause? As crazy as it might (initially) sound, it’s absolutely true. Certain studies reveal that some of the extracts that are in bee pollen can help to reduce hot flashes, balance out erratic mood swings, and even help to decrease night sweats so that you’re able to get a better quality of sleep at night.
2. Bee Pollen Boosts Your Immune System
GiphySomething else that’s cool about bee pollen is it has the ability to strengthen your immunity by strengthening your immune system, increasing the number of red blood cells that are in your system, and accelerating the speed of your antibodies too. Some studies also say that bee pollen can help to strengthen your liver, fight diabetes, and lower your obesity risk.
Not to mention the fact that bee pollen contains powerful antimicrobial, antifungal, and antiviral properties that help to fight off many different types of bacteria and viruses as well.
3. Bee Pollen Can Help with Hair Growth
GiphyWhen it comes to this particular point, when you think about all of the nutrients and antioxidants that are in bee pollen (protein, Vitamin C, iron, and fatty acids), it would make sense that some reports say that bee propolis (which is basically a form of beeswax) is good for hair growth and overall hair health. As far as bee pollen, specifically, goes, science says that a sulfur-based amino acid called cysteine that’s in the pollen can help to reduce an itchy scalp as well as strengthen your hair shaft in the process.
4. Bee Pollen May Help to Prevent Anemia
GiphyIf something that’s a challenge for you is getting your body to absorb more iron, bee pollen also has your back in that department. Apparently, what makes this possible is the fact that bee pollen is a great source of vitamin C and bioflavonoids, and both of those things make it easier for iron to be absorbed into your bloodstream. So, if anemia or being borderline anemic is something that you deal with, this could be an all-natural remedy for you.
5. Bee Pollen Increases Blood Circulation
GiphyWanna know something else that bee pollen is able to do? It can increase blood circulation, especially to your brain and nervous system. This can result in you having less fatigue, more energy, and even better orgasms (since more blood circulation helps to intensify those). Something else that’s cool about bee pollen, on the blood circulation tip is, since it’s considered to be an unsaturated fatty acid, it can reduce your chances of blood clots, heart disease, and stroke.
6. Bee Pollen Decreases Stress
GiphyWe all could use hacks that help to decrease our stress levels, and on the heels of what I just shared, the reality is that when your blood circulation is good, your body doesn’t have to work as hard, more oxygen is going to your brain and your other organs, and you’re able to feel calmer and more relaxed. Hmph. To tell you the truth, when you think about the fact that sugar can make you more anxious and bee pollen is an awesome sweetener alternative that is also good for your blood — why not give it a shot ASAP? What really do you have to lose?
7. Bee Pollen Increases Longevity
GiphySeveral years back, The New York Times published the article, “One Spoonful of Bee Pollen, Each Day, and You, Too, Might Make It to 113.” And y’all, while that might be pushing things just a bit, some studies on animals have revealed that bee pollen has helped them to have increased muscle mass, a boost in their metabolism, and, yes, longer life. And anything that can add some time to the clock, that’s gotta be worth investing in. So, the next time you’re at a health food store, grab some bee pollen.
As you can see, it can do a helluva lot (although, if you’ve heard that it grows breasts,that’s unfounded). The all-natural way.
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