

Although I've seen a good chunk of the world at this point, unlike a lot of the xoTribe team, travel isn't really my thing. My mother says it's because I'm a writer and heavy thinker who tends to travel a lot in my head. There's probably some truth to that, but the bigger issue is I hate what comes with travel. Packing. Paying hundreds for tickets. Crowded airports. Ugh. But since teleporting isn't something that any of us are able to do, when we want to get somewhere as quickly as possible, airplanes are pretty much our best bet.
If every year, you tell yourself that you aren't going to wait until the last minute to make your travel plans but here you are, with only a few days before the holiday travel season officially begins, no worries. I've got some tips that can make finding flights and traveling in general a lot easier and a heck of a lot less stressful. Consider it an early Christmas present from all of us here at xoNecole—to you.
1. Be Flexible When Booking Flights
I'll be honest. In order to get the best deal, the best time to look for flights is about 6-8 weeks before you need to head out (which means this is the week to book your Christmas ticket, if you can). But, if you're like me and you always tend to wait until the last minute, flexibility is what you need in order to get a good rate. As far as Thanksgiving goes, tickets are usually the cheapest on the Monday prior to Thanksgiving (this year, that would be the 25th), on Thanksgiving (the 28th), or on Black Friday (the 29th). As far as Christmas goes, your best bet is Christmas Eve (the 24th), Christmas Day (the 25th) or the Saturday following Christmas (which on this year is the 28th).
When it comes to other flexibility tips that could save you some coins—be open to mixing and matching airlines (one airline for departing and another for coming back); be willing to not always fly direct (layovers can be annoying, but they are also pretty cost-effective); test out budget carriers like Southwest, Spirit or Frontier (US), Eurowings (Europe) or Swoop (Canada), and look for tickets that leave super early in the morning or really late at night—they are always gonna be cheaper than "standard business hour" tickets.
Oh, and if you're curious about what the worst holiday travel dates are, click here for a breakdown of those. Try and avoid those at all costs.
2. Look for Tickets in Other Currencies
Here's a hack that might trip you out. If you've done your fair share of international traveling before, you probably know that some countries have a strong currency while other countries do not. One way to save money on your flights (especially international ones) is to look for tickets that are listed under a lower currency than the American dollar. For instance, if you want to go to New York for Christmas, check to see what the price would be for a ticket via a site from another country (you can compare currency exchange rates here). While an American airline might list a ticket for $800, an Indonesian or New Zealand version of the same site could list the price for what translates into being half of that in American dollars.
While this isn't an automatic hack, it's certainly worth trying. Just make sure to use a no-foreign-transaction-fee card so that you won't incur a surcharge. Oh, and if you're going with other people, don't look for prices for all of you at once. What I mean by that is, if you search for tickets for three people to travel together, the airline is going to post the highest rate for group tickets; that's why you're better off booking one at a time. Hey, not being able to sit together might suck, but if it saves you a couple of hundred bucks in the process, it's worth it.
3. Use Bubble Wrap, Drinking Straws and Dryer Sheets
If you don't feel like bringing the bulky laptop case that your laptop typically comes in, you can always put your computer in some bubble wrap. You can either put your laptop inside a sturdy bubble wrap envelope or wrap it up yourself; that's one hack. Another? One of the things that really gets on my nerves is trying to travel with jewelry and everything getting all tangled up. One way to keep your necklaces from becoming an entangled mess is to use drinking straws. Run one part of the necklace down the straw and then clasp it to the part that is outside of the straw and—voila! No twisted-up drama. One more thing—while I'm not sure why there isn't any aromatherapy on airplanes, if you're like me and you absolutely hate the smell of planes, you can prevent the stench of them from affecting your clothing by putting some of your favorite-scented dryer sheets into your luggage. Trust me, it works.
4. Get Yourself a Charge Key
Airports have come a long way, as far as charging ports for cell phones go. But if you're someone who always seems to run out of battery life or you're notorious for losing your own charger, it's worth the money to invest in what is known as a charge key. It's the kind of charger that doubles up as a key chain that you can plug in to a USB port (like your laptop) to charge up your cell phone, anywhere, anytime. You can find a cheap tiny one on Amazon here.
5. Make Yourself a Travel-Friendly Care Package
If you already know that it's gonna be a long day of flying, something else that can make your day a lot easier is creating a care package that you can put inside of your carry-on. It can include things like a couple of your favorite snacks; a collapsible water bottle (that you can fill up with water, juice, etc. after going through security); some noise-cancelling headphones; some Advil and/or Dramamine; a travel-size of moisturizer (with a few drops of essential oil in it to make your skin smell amazing) and, some lipstick or lip gloss (never forget that!).
Speaking of carry-ons and luggage in general, if it's time for some new gear, try and go with a color other than black, red or the usual neutrals. Airports are mad busy; you can make it harder for someone to mistake your baggage for theirs if yours happens to be as unique looking as possible.
6. Digitize Your Documents
In a perfect world, nothing would ever get lost or stolen—but that is not the world that we live in. If your wallet or purse happens to go missing, it can be easy to freak out, mostly because you won't have any identification on you. One way to give yourself some peace of mind is to put the numbers to your driver's license, passport and credit cards in your smartphone. As a back-up, also email them to yourself and send them to an emergency contact too—just in case.
7. Create a Cash Decoy
If you're someone who travels with cash, one way to make sure it doesn't get stolen is to have a wallet on your body that is basically empty and to put your money into something like an empty lip balm tube that you can put into your front pants pocket. You might be surprised by how ingenious this little decoy tip actually is, especially in the midst of airport pick-pocketers.
8. Communicate with Your Airline via Social Media
If you're someone who loathes waiting on the phone to connect with an airline about something, hit them up on Twitter instead. It's kind of a trip how little this particular hack is publicized, but if you contact them via their handle or you shout-out a message with their hashtag, you might be amazed by how quickly they're respond to you. The same thing goes for TSA if you happen to have a question prior to going through security.
9. Keep a Pen Handy
Sometimes, it's the little things that can make traveling the easiest. Although most things do transpire electronically these days, it can never hurt to have a pen on hand, just in case you need to write something down. If that "something" happens to be documentation forms as it relates to international travel, while you should still keep a pen close-by, you might want to download the Mobile Passport app. It can actually expedite your entry to a lot of airports and even cruises. (Just make sure to check if it's available in your city before downloading; it's an app that's still growing.)
10. Send Gifts Ahead of You (and Insure Them)
With articles out in cyberspace like "TSA Agents Reportedly Say Body Scanners May Single Out Black Women Because of Their Hair" (SMDH), we women already have enough to contend with while going through security; the last thing that you need is to be held up because you've got too many presents in your hand. During the holiday season, TSA tends to be even stricter, so rather than making the attempt to be a personal Santa who shows up to where you are going with gifts in tow, mail them a couple of days before you leave. Just make sure that you put a return address on them (just in case) and that you also pay a little extra for insurance and delivery confirmation. Otherwise, you can always wait until you arrive to do some last-minute shopping or go the gift card route. Travel safely, y'all.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Why Every Woman Should Travel Alone At Least Once In Her Life
This Is How To Get The Most Out Of A 4-Day Trip To London
The Holidays Are Still Difficult For Me 16 Years After My Parents' Divorce
10 Packing Hacks You Need Just In Time For Holiday Traveling
Feature image by Shutterstock
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Did You Know That Certain Traits In Men Can Make It Easier For You To Orgasm?
Recently, while doing a podcast interview on how God, love, and sex all work together, I shared something that I find myself saying quite a bit to church folks (whenever those topics, together, come up): “The main purpose of sex is not procreation, it’s oneness. Adam and Eve did not procreate until after they left the Garden of Eden. They had sex prior to that, though.” (Genesis 2:24-25, Genesis 4:1)
The reason why I think that this is relevant to today’s topic is, as I was doing some research for it, I found myself rolling my eyes quite a bit as I read things like “men need to orgasm in order to release sperm; women don’t need an orgasm to conceive” and “Why do women orgasm? It’s still a mystery.” Umm, is it? Because if you factor in the oneness component that I just mentioned (which more people should take to heart if you ask me) and then add to that the fact that the ONLY purpose of a clitoris is sexual stimulation and satisfaction for a woman — female climaxing and the need for it to happen as much as possible should baffle absolutely no one.
Sex serves a layer of benefits and yes, for both men and women, pleasure should be one of them. And since that is the case, a woman being able to orgasm, as much as she can, should be promoted…in content on a consistent basis.
And that is why I thought some of you might find it interesting that there are certain things about men, specifically, that science says can increase the chances of you climaxing — not only more but more intensely too.
Let’s dive in.
How Masculine a Man Is
I’m gonna be honest: All of the women out here who give pushback on submission and yet want a man to physically look up to (you know, someone who is 6’ or over which is only 15 percent of the male US population, by the way) fascinate me. So, you want a man who towers over you yet you think it is antiquated for a man to lead you? Do tell. Anyway, that is the first thing I thought about when I read that a man’s level of masculinity plays a significant role in how often a woman is able to orgasm and how quickly she is able to do it.
It would appear that some of the backstory on this is, on the physical tip, men with strong jawlines and broad shoulders represent being in good health as well as being able to protect their family while research also reveals that men with beards make many women believe that they would be good fathers. And yes, as much as social media may say — or scream — otherwise, women tend to prefer dominant (exerting authority or influence) men more as well. All of this together, in the bedroom, results in more and faster orgasms for women. Fascinating.
A Man’s Personality
A sense of humor in a man can really take him a long way in life — including when it comes to giving women orgasms. That’s why articles like “Funny Men Give The Best Orgasms, According To Research” exist. Although it’s probably a given that a lot of us are drawn to this character trait because it makes us feel good, research also says that humor taps into our creativity, makes it easier for us to adapt to things, and can help us to be better problem-solvers too.
Sexually, I would think that being funny helps because humor and orgasms both provide dopamine hits which is the feel-good hormone that runs throughout our bodies. While we’re on this topic, other personality traits that will make you cum more when it comes to men include being creative, warm, and faithful — gee, imagine that. #sarcasm
Also, a Man’s Self-Esteem
I’m pretty sure it doesn’t surprise you in the least that the more intense your orgasms are with a guy, the more attractive you’ll find him to be and the more willing you’ll be to have sex with him multiple times a week. Yeah, y’all be careful with this one because something else that science says is whenever a really good orgasm comes your way, as a woman, your brain literally switches all the way off for a moment (which could explain a lot when it comes to who some people choose to deal with out here…just sayin’). Anyway, apparently it would seem that a truly confident man is who’s able to pull all of this off.
That makes sense because confidence is all about having a high sense of self-worth; embracing challenges; not having a lot of self-doubt; listening well to others; standing firm on one’s own beliefs; putting plans into action, and taking control of one’s life. Plus, since a lot of women will admit that they prefer a man to be a provider and protector, which in turn causes them to feel safe, and feeling safe also makes it easier to let go and enjoy sex fully — yes, all of this tracks.
Foreskin
If no one else will say it, I WILL: the double standard on foreskin vs. the extra skin that a lot of women have when it comes to their vulva is absolutely ridiculous. In fact, if you know some things about your clitoris, it’s constructed a lot like a mini-penis in the sense of it experiences an erection of sorts when it’s aroused and the clitoral hood is the clitoris’s “foreskin.” So, to be out here giving the “ick” to men for how they were born when some of us have large or hanging lips — yeah, let’s chill on that.
Besides, according to science, “uncut men” not only have a greater level of sensation during sex, but that extra bit of skin (which isn’t as much as a lot of y’all make it out to be…relax) actually gives women more consistent orgasms too. Don’t believe me? Read this here and this here.
If He Ejaculates
I dunno. If you’re not a selfish partner, this one seems like common sense because, if a man “completes the act”, that means he was able to “get his” and that seems like something any good lover would want for their partner (the only thing better? Experiencing it with him at the same time!). However, what I did find interesting is there’s a greater chance that a woman will orgasm herself if she knows that her partner came.
In fact, one study said that a little over 50 percent of women thought that it was very important that their partner ejaculated during sex while a little over 22 percent said that they experienced more intense orgasms if he came during intercourse.
Some studies say that the sensation of the sperm inside of the vagina may play a role in this; however, since that means that you must engage in unprotected sex (check out “Thinking About Going Condom-Free? Read This Before You Do.”) in order to vouch for this one…I’ll just say to use forethought, wisdom and definitely get tested before attempting it.
BONUS: How Your Friends See Him
The more you learn, boy. Have any of you heard of the sexy son hypothesis before? The gist is this: If you create children with someone who other women find attractive, the belief is that you will end up having sons who have that same quality. And yes, being with someone who you think is appealing to other women — seems to increase the chances of you having an orgasm too (chile).
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Hmph. It’s intel like this that explains why so many think pieces say that the brain is the most powerful sex organ that we have. Anyway, if you’re someone who wants to have more orgasms or more intense orgasms, perhaps take some of this data to heart. For all you know, it might be the blueprint that you’ve been looking for all along.
Thoughts? Comments. Confirmations? LOL.
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