I know you’ve heard of it before and probably had the question, “What is the Curly Girl Method?” If you’re new to getting your curls to where you want them to be, then you’re in the right place!
I remember when I would look at pictures of people with beautiful curls with the definition I wanted. It was 2013 when I realized my hair was far from where I wanted it to be. Imagine curly roots and straight ends or straight ends even when my hair was wet. I didn’t experience a relaxer, but I fried my hair over and over again from straightening it.
(L-R) My hair before the Curly Girl Method, during, and my hair at its longest (with shrinkage)
Courtesy
I remember dreaming about full luscious curls and healthy hair. So how did I get my hair to where I wanted to be? Years of practice and training my hair, yes. But ultimately, learning a version of the Curly Girl Method saved me!
The Curly Girl Method is a hair care approach that emphasizes the use of natural, sulfate-free, and silicone-free products to enhance and care for naturally curly hair.
The Curly Girl Method: In 4 Steps
- Cleanse
- Condition
- Style
- Maintain
The Benefits of the Curly Girl Method:
- The Curly Girl Method encourages the use of gentle, natural haircare products that are free of harsh chemicals. This can help reduce hair damage, breakage, and dryness, leading to healthier and stronger curls.
- The Curly Girl Method emphasizes techniques like scrunching, plopping, and diffusing to enhance and define natural curls. This can result in more defined, bouncy curls with less frizz.
- By following the Curly Girl Method, people often find that their hair becomes more manageable, making it easier to style and maintain on a day-to-day basis.
- For people with naturally curly hair, the Curly Girl Method can be a way to embrace and celebrate their natural hair texture rather than feeling like they need to straighten or manipulate it to fit in with societal beauty standards.
So where to start?
A good place to start is to think about your full routine. And now would be the perfect time to take a look at the products you’re using on your hair because they could be doing more damage than good. What to look out for? When shopping for products, it's important to steer away from products that include sulfates, silicones, and parabens. Also, since water is one of the only ways to hydrate your hair, ensuring water is one of the first items listed in the ingredient list for your products is important.
Bonus Step: Prep your hair before you wash.
Trust me when I say this, detangling your hair in sections before washing will not only save you time but help you decide what products to use on your hair for cleansing and styling. Part your hair into four or six sections, then dampen your hair with a spray bottle that has water. Or sometimes I like to use a mix of conditioner and water. Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle Conditioner with Peppermint and Eucalyptus is a product you didn't know you needed until you use it. The slip creates the perfect base for detangling. Once you've detangled, twist or braid the hair before cleansing.
1. Cleanse
In the shower or in your sink, wash your hair in sections, starting with one section at a time. Apply shampoo on the scalp to start. There is so much controversy about not using shampoo and using a co-wash-type product, and truthfully, a clean scalp and hair are how you’ll see the best results with styling and moisture. Additionally, you can use a shampoo that won’t strip your hair of its natural oils.
Products can only work properly if the base is prepared correctly! Every hairstyle lasts long with a good base. Ensure that the shampoo touches all of the hair shaft.
2. Condition
Replenishing the moisture after shampooing is key. Apply a deep conditioner for the time it says on the product label. I’ve tested it out and can confidently say that there are no additional benefits from keeping products in longer. On the contrary, doing so can sometimes do more harm than good. Unless the product suggests you can keep it overnight, I wouldn’t do it. After rinsing out your deep conditioner, be sure to condition your hair. Don’t skip this step, this step is the beginning of the styling product, believe it or not.
3. Style
DO THIS STEP WITH YOUR HAIR SOAKING WET. I'm not yelling, but I can ensure that you'll get the best results this way. Whether you're twisting your hair or preparing your hair for a wash 'n go, apply your product in sections using the praying hand method, gentle finger combing, or a Denman brush. Also note that leave-in, styling product, and mousse will be your best friend.
Oh, and if you've heard about the LOC (leave in, oil, cream) or LCO (leave in, oil, cream) method, skip the oil. Oil is not intended to go on wet hair. It creates a layer on the hair and makes any maintenance hard. Think about it, if you apply oil to water, what happens? They don't mix!
4. Maintain
How you maintain your hair is up to you because this part of the routine looks different for everyone. But my recommendation is to do low manipulation styles. The phrase “less is more” in this scenario is true. The most important part of maintaining length or preventing damage is ensuring your ends aren’t split, and your hair isn’t breaking off. If you find your hair is missing hydration or moisture, spritzing with water or a water and conditioner mix will do the job. If needed, massage your scalp with oil but not too much or too often because your hair grows from your scalp, and too much oil could clog your hair follicles.
Other key factors in achieving flourishing curls include little to no heat styling, taking your time, and being gentle with styling and detangling. Overall, the Curly Girl Method can help people with naturally curly hair achieve healthy, defined, and manageable curls while also embracing their natural hair texture. I would recommend the Curly Girl Method to anyone who is just getting started.
Ultimately, find what truly works well with your hair, experiment, and be patient!
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- Sick And Tired Of Hair Shrinkage? Have You Ever Tried This? ›
- 7 Steps To Perfect Natural Coils ›
Why can’t (more) singles just be single and be okay with that? Good Lord. Why does there need to be some sort of relational play-on-words to make it sound like we’re with someone — even if we’re not?
Now masturdating? Even though it’s not even close to being a “real” word, it’s something that also brought a laugh outta me — although it was then followed by a genuine smile. The laugh because I almost immediately caught the play-on-words. The smile was due to the intention behind it all.
If you’re not familiar with what masturdating is and you’re curious about why you should even care, take a few moments to at least skim through what it’s about and why I think participating, as a single person, is a pretty cool (and effective) concept.
@knotlukas Masturdate: a date w oneself
What’s Masturdating All About?
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Masturdating. Okay, so let the word marinate for just a moment. What does it sound like? Yeah…exactly. And since a huge part of masturbation centers around self-pleasure, it’s cool to explore how “self-dating” could produce similar (as far as pleasure is concerned in a broader sense) results. Because masturdating is all about spending quality time with yourself, pampering yourself, treating yourself— and yes, taking yourself out on dates.
Any of you who may think that masturdating is a consolation prize — and a pitiful one at that — for not being able to go out with another human being or get that dream $200 first date that social media was all in a tizzy about last year (bookmark that) — personally, I think that you’re the demographic who needs to try out masturdating first and the most. Why? Off top, I’ll share my three good reasons.
3 Reasons To Strongly Consider Masturdating
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1. It’s an intimate way to get to know yourself better. I’ve been working with couples for a pretty long time at this point and if there’s a pattern that I see arise, OFTEN, it’s that two people are oftentimes so busy trying to “find their person” that they didn’t even know who they were. As a direct result, they found themselves in a relationship with someone who only complemented the “kiddie pool version” of who they were.
That’s why it can be so beneficial to spend time getting to know yourself on the “deep end” of things: what makes you tick, what your passions are, what you want most out of life, what are your interests beyond obvious things — and masturdating can help you to discover all of this. Whether it’s traveling alone or taking out a weekend to drink some wine and journal, the more you get to know yourself, the clearer you’ll be about who complements you on a romantic and friendship level.
2. It will definitely help to boost your confidence levels. I guess since I’m an ambivert, I don’t really get why people freak out at the mere thought of going to a restaurant or movie alone. Personally, I think it requires a helluva lot more energy and gumption to wait around and plan stuff with other people (#Elmoshrug). However, whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, there’s no way around the fact that the more comfortable you get with doing things alone, the more your confidence levels will increase — no, soar — because of it.
One article that I read on the topic said that doing things alone can make you more creative, improve your mental health, and help you to be totally okay with being alone (so that you’re not “needy” for other people’s attention). A psychotherapist from a New York Times article on the benefits of spending time alone said, “Getting better at identifying moments when we need solitude to recharge and reflect can help us better handle negative emotions and experiences, like stress and burnout.” And when you’re able to stare negativity in its face without flinching, how could that not make you bolder, more self-secure, and hopeful about your life?
3. It will teach you to value your time more effectively. In every facet of your world, you’re gonna operate from a healthier place if you’re operating from a “full cup” rather than an empty one. When it comes to this topic, think about it — if you’re constantly waiting on someone to call you to go out or wishing for a dream date with some guy, all you’re doing is wasting precious time that you could be spending taking a cooking class or hell, hiring a chef to make you dinner at your own home.
Indeed, waiting has two sides to it: when it’s in the form of patience, it is indeed a virtue, yet when it’s wrapped up in the notion that you’re not really living life unless you have an audience…it is totally working against you. Choose wisely.
10 Solo Date Ideas To Help You To “Master” Masturdating
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So, what if you’re someone who has either never considered actually masturdating before or you don’t really know what to do beyond dinner and the movies? Here are a few ideas to consider:
1. Attend a workshop or masterclass that you’re interested in. If there’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn, sign up for a workshop or masterclass. The cool thing about this option is there are probably some in your city, as well as some that you can find online (like here) that are convenient and affordable.
2. Binge-read at a local coffee shop. Aside from their coziness and oftentimes inviting scents, I once read that a lot of us gravitate to coffee shops because we can be around people without having to actually socialize with them. So, if you want to “hang out” while still being able to enjoy a bit of solitude, take a book that you’ve been trying to finish to a local coffee shop, order your favorite latte, and sit in a big-ass comfy chair. Usually, you can sit there for hours, and the staff will be just fine with it (another bonus).
3. Have a spa day in the next town. You can never go wrong with a spa day. And while going with a friend can be fun, sometimes there’s too much talking transpiring to be able to fully chill out and relax. So, go off of the grid, get a change of scenery, and hit up a spa in the next city (or town). There are lots of studies out here supporting that day trips or “daycations” can actually be really good for your long-term health and well-being.
4. See a community play. Some of the best solo dates that I’ve ever been on consisted of taking in some of the local arts in my city. What’s really cool about this particular option is, oftentimes, they are extremely inexpensive, if not totally free of charge (in exchange for making a donation or putting money into a tip jar).
5. Plan a trip. Whenever people say something along the lines of, “If you don’t expect anything, you won’t be disappointed,” I know that they low-key have some (additional) healing to do from past disappointments. There’s simply too much intel out here to support that anticipation (of good stuff) makes us more motivated and optimistic, keeps our dopamine levels up, and makes life more exciting overall.
Since traveling alone is more cost-effective, gives you the freedom to do whatever you want (when you want), and increases the possibility of meeting new people and having new experiences on your journey — why not devote a day this weekend to planning a solo trip? All the way around, it’s good for you.
6. Try your hand at your own “$200 date.” Uh-huh. Roll your eyes if you want to, but it’s real easy to talk left about how a man should be able to just drop $200 like it’s nothing…until you actually try to do it. So yes, while taking yourself out on this type of date could serve as a bit of a reality check, it can also “scratch the itch” of waiting on some dude to do it for you. It’s also way less emotionally draining because, at least when you’re taking your own self out, it’s guaranteed that you’ll enjoy the company…right?
7. DIY some pampering. When you get a chance, check out “5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself,” “Want To Love On Yourself? Try These 10 Things At Home.,” “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” and “When's The Last Time You Actually Pampered Your Vagina?” The bottom line here is pampering is all about, not mere self-maintenance; it’s all about treating yourself to levels of EXTREME SELF-INDULGENCE. So, if nothing else tickles your fancy on this list, at least consider doing that, chile.
8. Feed your creativity. Something that I used to be really good at is art. That said, one of my goddaughters is insanely talented, so she has reminded me to tap back into it. Also, a big part of what got me into the writing world is poetry; I actually used to be a house poet at a local spot. Sometimes, my best quality time moments with myself have been revisiting these creative sides of me — and this is definitely easier to do (and enjoy) alone.
9. Try some stargazing. When’s the last time you took a blanket into your backyard, laid down on it, and just stared at the stars for hours on end? While some say that stargazing can teach you to be mindful, others say that being in that form of nature reduces stress, while others believe that looking up at the universe at night can increase your attention span. All solid reasons to give it a shot, if you ask me.
10. DO. ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. Let me tell you something that nobody will ever be able to make me feel bad about: doing absolutely nothing. I’ve got data to back me up. Good Housekeeping shares that doing nothing can help you decide how you want to respond or react to certain things. I like howThe Guardian says that taking this approach helps you to regain control of what you give your attention to.
TIME magazine says that it can ultimately make you more productive.BBC offers up that it can help you tap into your ingenuity.Henry Ford Health says that it can make you kinder and a better problem-solver. So, if you want to invest in yourself, do nothing sometimes.
Closing Thoughts from the Lovely Javicia Leslie
While some of y'all may know Javicia Leslie from being the former Batwoman, I discovered her back in the day from the indie series Chef Julian (and yes, "Julian" was right to say that "Mo" looks like Tatyana Ali...the real ones know). Sometimes I'll hop on her IG to see what she's got going on and this story popped up within a few hours of me penning this...so, I took it as hella confirmation.
TREAT YO SELF. WAIT FOR NO ONE.
WAIT FOR NO ONE. TREAT YO SELF.
RINSE AND REPEAT.
_____
Sooo…what kind of masturdating plans do you have for this coming weekend? While going out with others has its perks, hanging out with yourself has a ton of ‘em too. Enjoy!
No…for real. ENJOY!
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