

Now y'all already know, if I could find a way to make sex have a fall theme, that in the spirit of peace and goodwill, a sista had to tie in one of the most popular holidays of the year to coitus too. To tell you the truth, it really wasn't all that hard. All I did was think about some of the things that traditionally go with Christmas and, based on what I already know about aphrodisiacs, see how they lined up with encouraging sexual desire. Hmph. You might be surprised.
As far as how to make Christmas itself the kind of sex-inspired gift that keeps on giving, be on the lookout for a few tips sooner than later (I got you). For now, as you're out 'n about doing some of your holiday shopping, I'd advise that you pick up doubles when it comes to some of the items on this list—one you can use for traditional purposes; the other, you can take into your bedroom so that you can bring a whole new meaning to yuletide cheer.
1. Eggnog
Although eggnog is not my favorite drink in the world, I can be compelled to partake of a sip or two around the holidays. Almost every time I have it, there is a part of me that wonders how it became a part of Christmas cuisine. From what I've researched, it started out in early medieval Britain (they used to drink something similar called "posset"). The combo of milk, eggs and sherry symbolized good health and prosperity. Then monks began to consume it and eventually, around the 1700s, it made its way over to us.
The reason why it qualifies as being an aphrodisiac is because the ingredients that are in it—especially the eggs, honey, vanilla and nutmeg—are things that can help to boost your libido. Eggs are a fertility symbol. Honey contains boron which regulates hormone levels and nitric oxide which intensifies arousal. The smell of vanilla causes a lot of men to have faster erections, and apparently the 50 percent ethanolic extract of nutmeg increases the sex drive; mostly the sex drive of men.
So, if you've never had or liked eggnog, maybe all of this info will inspire you to give it another shot. In the spirit of Christmas—and good sex.
2. Candy Canes
I recently read a couple of articles that said the cooling sensation of peppermint soap or diluted peppermint oil (make sure to dilute the oil; it is really strong) provides the kind of cooling effect that enhances stimulation in women and can even trigger multiple orgasms. That got me to thinking that sucking on a candy cane and then performing oral sex on your partner must be the total bomb. That's why this signature Christmastime candy made the list.
Just make sure that you use peppermint more as a topical thing than anything else. Studies reveal that the menthol in mint, when it's digested by men, can lower their testosterone, not raise it. And who wants that?
3. Gingerbread Houses

How in the world is a gingerbread house an aphrodisiac? It's due to the ginger that it's made from. Aside from the fact that the calcium, magnesium, phosphorus and potassium in ginger is great for treating motion and morning sickness, menstrual cramps and migraines, on the sexual tip, ginger significantly increases blood circulation in both men and women. The more blood that's moving around in our genital regions, the hornier we tend to be. The better our orgasms end up being too. So, spend quality time making a gingerbread house with the kids and a different kind of quality time with your partner eating it once you're done.
4. Mistletoe
This one should be obvious. I mean, "Kissing under the mistletoe"—duh. But if you've ever wondered why so many of us do that, basically it's this. Mistletoe is an evergreen plant that is a symbol of peace. People started kissing underneath it during the Greek festival of Saturnalia, believing that mistletoe protected them from misfortune, along with granting them long life as well as fertility. If that's got you sold, Home Depot, Lowe's and local nurseries typically sell it.
5. Hot Chocolate

You've probably heard somewhere before that chocolate—preferably dark chocolate—is an aphrodisiac. The reason why is because the chemicals phenylethylamine and serotonin that are in it will not only improve your mood, they are considered to be sexual stimulants as well. Some health experts say that you'll get the most sexual benefits out of chocolate if you eat four ounces, on a daily basis, that is made out of 70 percent cocoa. A fun way to get some of those ounces in is to drink some hot chocolate—or to make some chocolate body paint. Or…do both.
6. Figgy Pudding
I don't think I've ever had figgy pudding before (if any of y'all have, let me know in the comments how it tastes). But I have heard a few Christmas songs that mentions it, so yeah, it makes this list too. The main reason is because figs are considered to be an aphrodisiac fruit. A lot of people think this because they like the smell and texture of fresh figs. Also, the antioxidants, flavonoids, fiber, antioxidants and potassium that are in figs are surefire libido booster. And, since figs are a symbol of love and fertility, it can't hurt to at least have a slice of some homemade figgy pudding cake, right?
7. Pine

Back when I was a Christmas-observer, something that I adored was the smell of a live Christmas tree in my home. Well, believe it or not, pine pollen is a proven aphrodisiac. Aside from the 200 nutrients that it contains, the fact that it has DHEA in it, that means that pine pollen also levels out testosterone and estrogen in our bodies. Since it can also help with muscle pain, headaches and nausea, why not keep some of it in your house?
8. Ribbons
A woman had me cracking up when she told me that while she loves to be tied up during sex, what will turn her off instantly is if a man pulls out a pair of handcuffs. "How woke can a ninja be if he thinks that with all of this police brutality going on that I want to reenact that bulls—it?" I mean and I'm sayin'.
To me, the alternative would be satin ribbons. They are definitely a Christmas tradition, they are softer and sexier than cuffs and, if you use them instead of cuffs, you won't have to worry about you or your partner being triggered. #MerryChristmas
9. Sleighs
I've been sledding before; it's fun. I've never actually been on a sleigh ride before (you know, when a horse or some reindeer are actually pull the sled), but I will definitely put it on my bucket list. Know what else is going to go on there? The sleigh ride sex position. What the heck is that? From what I've seen and read, it's a spin on reverse cowgirl. The twist is, rather than the woman doing most of the work, her partner (who is lying on his back with his knees slightly bent) helps her out by lightly lifting her pelvis up and meeting her halfway with each thrust. A sleigh ride indeed!
10. Stockings
As far as the Christmas tradition of stockings goes, from what I've read, St. Nicolas once heard about a man who was too poor to pay for his daughters' dowries so that they could marry. The man was also too proud to accept handouts, so one night, St. Nick climbed down the man's chimney and put gold coins in his daughter's stockings (hmm…).
Fast forward to 2019 and, as a male friend and I were discussing what can make a sex life go stale, something that he said was, "When women stop dressing up. It can be just as fun to take off sexy clothes as it is to have sex." When I asked him if there was a particular article of clothing that turned him on especially, he paused for a minute, smiled and then said, "Stockings."
That's cute because I once read another man describe stockings as being "jewelry for women's legs".
That's why stockings are on this list. Extra points are definitely given if they are thigh-highs (like these). Based on the tradition and what the guy shared with me, when stockings are around, all sorts of nice surprises end up…popping up.
11. Toys
Toys ain't just for children. In fact, this is how much the xoTribe is a fan of sex toys. There's the article "8 Crème De La Crème Sex Toys You Can Buy On A Budget". There's "5 Discreet Vibrators That Will Fit Into Your Carry-On". There are also "A $2K Sex Toy Gave Me The Ride (& The Orgasm) Of My Life" and "Yoni Investments: 4 Standards Your Sex Toys Should Meet". So, if you'd like to gift yourself with a toy of your own, those articles should help you out. Or, you can get ahead of the 2020 sex toy trends and treat yourself to a tongue vibrator. (Have mercy!)
12. Color Red
Red is definitely a signature hue for Christmas. As far as color psychology goes, red symbolizes love, passion, energy, sex and intensity. So, if you're trying to figure out what to get your partner, you can never go wrong with some new red lingerie or even some red satin sheets—even if they're just for Christmas Eve or Christmas night. Make it a very Merry Christmas—and to ALL a good night!
Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
Featured image by Shutterstock
Originally published on December 12, 2019
- Aphrodisiac Foods to Eat for Hotter Sex | StyleCaster ›
- Scientists Confirm Which Aphrodisiacs Actually Work - Sexual Health ›
- Aphrodisiac Foods for Men and Women - List of Aphrodisiacs ›
- 26 Aphrodisiac Foods to Enhance Your Romance - Shari's Berries ... ›
- 9 Traditional Christmas Foods That Are Also Aphrodisiacs ›
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
There’s caviar, and then there’s Black-owned caviar. With the recent explosion of #CaviarTikTok, this luxury delicacy seems to be everywhere these days. I can’t scroll through my feed without seeing our favorite celebs and influencers diving headfirst into extravagant caviar spreads.
From Rihanna pairing her caviar with chicken nuggets (I wonder if our Fenty queen shares with RZA and Riot Rose or if this is just for mama) to Bethenny Frankel educating us on caviar with her series "Caviar University," there’s just no escaping it.
And let’s not forget the elite king himself, DeAndre Brown, indulging in fried chicken and caviar! From videos with caviar-topped burgers, potato latkes, deviled eggs, and pasta dishes—folks are topping everything with caviar. Yet, I had not come across any Black-owned caviar brands until I discovered Caviar Dream.
My Introduction Into Caviar
I started off eating caviar in undergrad on top of sushi, exploring with a variety of roe and tobiko but as an adult, I knew I was ready to try something a little more refined. The first time I fell in love with caviar was in grad school at a southern Italian restaurant in Flatiron.
I tried an appetizer that featured caviar on bruschetta, served with thick garlic bread and burrata cheese, and from that moment, I was hooked. That has become my favorite way to enjoy caviar next to this filet mignon crostini appetizer that I served recently at a dinner party.
Everything You Need To Know About Caviar Dream
Caviar Dream is the first nationally distributed Black and woman-owned caviar business, redefining how people experience caviar. Founded by Kendra Anderson, a Chicago based chef and sommelier, the company’s mission is to make caviar more accessible and inclusive, breaking down barriers and demystifying this delicacy.
@caviardreamkendra so you’ve got your Caviar Dream…now what to eat it with? i’ve probably had cavi with just about anything you can imagine at this point {topped some fried cheese curds with my California White a few months ago and it was 💥} but i gotta say that i have some on my scrambled eggs every week 😌 no need to get fancy — just scramble your eggs however you usually do and scoop that cavi right on top 🤤 you can upgrade from there in a few ways: ✨ add a dollop of crème frâiche {see my previous video for a 30 second make-at-home recipe} ✨ sprinkle some chopped chives or green onions on top ✨ put the whole caviar / scrambled egg situation on a toasted + buttered bagel, croissant or onion bun! p.s.: i love our Smoked Trout Roe with scrambled eggs too 💖 if you try any of these combos, let me know what you think! 🩵💭✨👩🏽🍳 #CaviarDream #caviarforthepeople #putsomecaviaronit #caviar #caviartok #fyp #caviarparty #caviarnight #affordableluxury #chicagotiktok #homecooking #galentines #valentinesday #tiktokuniversity #cooking #easyrecipe #caviar101
What Caviar I Tried
Caviar Dream Kaluga Hybrid ($105-$420 depending on the ounce)
How I Experienced The Caviar:
For this review, I opted for a more traditional approach by pairing Caviar Dream's Kaluga Hybrid with crème fraîche, blinis, and my favorite Black-owned champagne, Le KOOL Champagne by Robert Kool Bell.
My Honest Review:
I do not say this lightly - this was by far the best caviar I’ve ever had in my life. It was buttery, had no aftertaste, and truly felt as luxurious as it looked.
Prior to this, my favorite caviar was Imperial Caviar. I’ve tried many brands, from well-known to affordable, while recreating my favorite decadent appetizers at home or enjoying caviar bumps at parties with my friends and they were my favorite until now.
Caviar Dream boasts that chefs are obsessed with this versatile hybrid, which tastes more expensive than it actually is—and they were right. This buttery caviar would pair well with any recipe, especially if you’re looking to impress someone or even treat yourself.
As a Black woman, a business owner, and someone who understands that an extension of financial wellness is circulating our dollars, I recognize the importance of incorporating Black-owned businesses throughout every aspect of my life. From my skincare to my favorite sustainable wine, my bank, and even indulgent experiences like caviar, it matters.
As we celebrate culinary innovation and expand our palates, let’s also take the extra step to support Black-owned businesses while doing it. So the next time you’re tempted by the allure of caviar, order from Caviar Dream—it just might become your new favorite.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Peter Dazeley/ Getty Images