Hand me a cowboy hat and some whiskey because we're headed to Texas for a real live hoedown.
The release of Beyoncé's eighth studio album, Cowboy Carter, has the world paying more attention to country music now than ever, showing just how captivating the Beyoncé effect is. The album's lead single, "Texas Hold 'Em," has made her the first Black woman ever with a No.1 song on Billboard’s Hot Country Songs chart, and Cowboy Carter is officially Spotify’s most streamed album in a single day in 2024.
After release day, fans couldn't help but notice how much love Beyoncé showed to up-and-coming country singers like Tanner Adell and country music icons like Dolly Parton, who is affectionately known as "Dolly P" on the album as a narrator. Between these collaborations and her signature handwritten notes and flowers, it got me thinking about how Beyoncé has truly shown us through the years that she is the ultimate girl's girl.
A girl's girl is a woman who isn't shy about uplifting other women - who cheers for them just as loudly as she does for herself and isn't afraid to shine a spotlight on them for their work. Beyoncé has done that and more; let's take a look back at some of her best moments, showing us how being a girl's girl is done.
No Competition Between Country Gals
From the moment Beyoncé released her first country single, she's received tons of criticism. While many have said she wasn't country enough despite her Texas upbringing, comments also compared her to R&B and now country singer K. Michelle. K. Michelle is a proud southern girl with roots from Memphis, Tennessee, and has always shared her desire to one day create a country album. Last year, K. Michelle performed at the CMAs alongside Jelly Roll, truly a monumental moment in her career. Amidst Cowboy Carter’s release, Beyoncé gave K Michelle her flowers - literally and shared her admiration and respect for the Tennessee native, shutting down any critics attempting to compare the two.
Still Down With Her Day One
Beyoncé spotted in NYC for the premiere of 'Mea Culpa'
METROPOLIS/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images
One thing about Beyoncé, she gone love her some Kelly Rowland (and Michelle!) Her support of her longtime friend and Destiny's Child group member has shown us that no matter what, they are sisters forever, and we will always love them for it! At the Netflix world premiere of Mea Culpa, she told us all that she still goes hard for her bff by posting a set of photos from the premiere on Instagram captioned, "Dats my best friend! Dats my best friend!!!!! So proud of you Kelly 🙏🏽"
A Boss Honoring a Boss
Beyoncé and Diana Ross perform onstage during the "RENAISSANCE WORLD TOUR"
Kevin Mazur/WireImage for Parkwood
During the "RENAISSANCE WORLD TOUR," Beyoncé celebrated her 42nd birthday and was serenaded by none other than The Boss herself, Ms. Diana Ross! Forever leading with humility and gratitude, she honored Diana Ross with joy for coming to the show and singing to her. In an Instagram post dedicated to the moment with the legendary vocalist, the "Alien Superstar" singer wrote in her caption, "Thank you to the incomporable Ms. Diana Ross. The 1 of 1, the number 1, the only one. Thank you from the depths of me, my Queen."
Forever An Oldest Sister
"Might I suggest you don't f with her sis." A true older and younger sister duo, Beyoncé is always there for Solange's big moments, and this one was no different. She was front and center for Solange's debut of her original score for The New York City Ballet, reminding us all that she will always show up for her sis and beam with pride for her accomplishments.
Collaboration Queen
Cowboy Carter, like many of Bey's studio albums, is packed with collaborations. From her iconic cover of Dolly Parton's "Jolene," collaboration with Linda Martell, a duet with Miley Cyrus, and collaborations with up-and-coming artists, including Tanner Adell, she has shown us again how important it is to not only collaborate but simultaneously educate her audience with intentional features that are a nod to country music legends and the future of the genre.
Always Paying Homage
While Beyoncé shined as Deena Jones in the 2006 movie adaptation of Dreamgirls, she has always remembered Sheryl Lee Ralph, the original Dreamgirl who famously portrayed Deena Jones first on Broadway, for which she was nominated for a Tony award. In celebration of Ralph's Emmy win, Knowles sent her flowers and honored her as the original dream girl.
Birthday Bouquet for Kim K
Kim Kardashian/Instagram
Despite the countless rumors that Beyoncé isn't a fan of Kim Kardashian, for her 43rd birthday, she penned a sweet message and wished her a birthday filled with joy. Kim was delighted and posted the birthday florals to social media.
Honoring the Next Generation of Artists
Beyoncé and Taylor Swift attend the "Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour" Concert Movie World Premiere
John Shearer/Getty Images for TAS
Whether it's discovering Chloe x Halle, cheering on Taylor Swift, or showing love to fellow artists coming up, Beyoncé is always uplifting younger female artists. Rapper Coi Leray took to Instagram to share the flowers that she sent with a note that said she was a fan of hers and loves to watch her grow.
Whether you’re an icon like B, a small business owner, or an everyday girl who desires to develop a better community with the women around you, don’t be afraid to channel your inner girl's girl like Beyoncé and give the women in your life their flowers in your own way.
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Featured image by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for iHeartRadio
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There is quite a bit of science to back this up too. For instance, physical touch can lower stress and boost immunity. Physical touch makes us calmer and more compassionate. Physical touch reduces pain and anxiety. Physical touch helps to cultivate emotional intimacy with other people. Physical touch creates comfort and pleasure. Bottom line, physical touch does so much for us which is why we should learn as much about it as we possibly can.
That’s not to say that all of us desire to be touched in the same fashion, though. For example, did you know that there is quite a bit of research to support the fact that men and women (overall) long to be touched in different ways?
In the effort that we all become more “fluently effective” when it comes to how we “speak” the language of physical touch to those around us (especially when it comes to our partner), let’s explore how a man wants to be touched vs. how a woman prefers to be.
Men and Women Are Different. Even When It Comes to Touch. Why, Though?
GiphyBefore I get into some things that I discovered about men and women when it comes to where they prefer to be touched and how those places differ from one another, first let’s — pardon the pun — touch on why there is even a difference in the first place. Apparently, because women’s fingers are naturally softer, they are better when it comes to touch discrimination. What is that? Touch discrimination is basically having the ability to tell the difference between different types of touch sensations. And this is probably a big part of the reason why research also says that when compassion, anger, or happiness is conveyed through touch, men and women tend to respond/react a bit differently as well.
Case in point: One study stated that when two men try to convey compassion through touch, it doesn’t really resonate well, although men can detect anger, even through the slightest touch, extraordinarily well. And happiness? Well, when two women are sharing that feeling through touch, it is clearly conveyed — meanwhile, between a man and a woman or two men? Yeah, not so much.
The thought process for these three emotions is, when it comes to compassion because women have been the prominent caregivers throughout history, they have “mastered” the ability to express it. Anger? Remember, men are good at detecting it — studies say that it’s because they tend to feel and express anger more often; I’d venture to say that being protectors and providers requires being aware of that emotion far more often as well. Happiness? Reportedly, women tend to be happier more often than men are and they also convey their emotions, openly, more than men do too.
How Men Feel About Physical Touch (Overall)
GiphyOkay, so when it comes to unique things about men and women as it relates to touch, let’s start with the fellas, out the gate. I wanna do that because, when I was doing my research on all of this, I immediately came across something that proved what I just said in the intro. What part in particular? Did you know that, even when it comes to truly platonic friendships, men still wish that their female friends would engage in physical touch more than women do (via their male friends)?
That’s because, even when it comes to intimacy among friends, physical touch displays trust and a feeling of closeness — and research says that men find that to be valuable. And so yes, this does amplify the point that physical touch and the need for it go well beyond sexual intimacy.
Still, I’m sure that it comes as absolutely no surprise that if you were to ask a group of men and women who prefer the love language of physical touch more, it’s going to be men (especially if they are over the age of 45). And while there are many theories for why this is the case, mine is that, since men are traditionally known and expected to be providers and protectors and that is hard work, I think they feel safe, reassured, seen, validated and deeply cared for through physical touch. It’s a way for them to get “off of the clock” from using touch to take care of others to being touched in a nurturing way.
Some other interesting things about men and touch is, although women seem to be more at ease with being touched overall, guys are more comfortable with being touched by strangers, especially in a flirty way (in part, because they process it as a potential for “opportunity” — read between the lines there), they prefer women touching them over being touched by men and they are known to initiate touch more if who they are touching is a woman.
And what about touch as it relates to sexual intimacy? Well, according to science, while both men and women enjoy their genital region, lips, ears, shoulders, and inner thighs to be caressed, men also respond to the back of their legs to be touched while women barely even acknowledge that part of their body (in this way). Men also consider their hands to be an erogenous zone far more than women do. It should also be noted that men are more aroused by touching their partner than being touched by them.
How Women Feel About Physical Touch (Overall)
GiphySo, what about women and touch? Well, something that is associated with women quite a bit is affective touch. If you’re not familiar with what that is, affective touch is all about having the ability to touch in a way that cultivates feeling and emotion. Not only do women tend to be better at doing it, but they also find it to be a more pleasurable experience than men do. Research says that this is because of the fact that, overall, women have had more positive experiences, as it related to touch than men.
Something else that is interesting about affective touch is women who express themselves through touch are typically considered to be more affectionate and trusting as opposed to men who touch a lot. And so, since women like to give affective touch, they are also highly responsive to it — and that could explain why women like to touch and be touched (like reaching out to touch someone’s hand) when someone is sharing their thoughts and feelings with them.
Another thing to note about women and touch is because their pain perception is a lot more sensitive than men’s, even slight adjustments in touch (pressure, temperature shifts in body parts, etc.) will affect them in a way that won’t affect men. When it comes to sexual intimacy, specifically, this could explain why even a slight shift in touch can bring a woman into or take a woman out of the mood far easier and quicker than it would a guy’s.
Something else that should go on record here is how women respond to touch based on their menstrual cycle. For instance, when a woman is ovulating, she tends to be more sensitive to touch; plus, she also finds kissing to be more of a priority. Meanwhile, the drastic shifts in hormones during menopause and postmenopause can make women less sensitive to touch.
As far as sex and sexual stimulation go, women reportedly like to be touched more than to touch. Also, when a man looks into a woman’s eyes while touching her, that increases her arousal levels significantly (men prefer women to gaze at their genitalia; not sure if anyone is shocked there — LOL). Places where they prefer to be touched include their breasts, neck, and butt; some even say that they can orgasm just from being stimulated in those spots (along with their lips and ears). As far as the type of touch that is most effective for women during copulation, oral reigns.
And what about how men feel about oral sex? Well, I once read an article that said that 27 percent of the male participants in their study would rather get some fellatio tonight than receive a raise, so…you do the math. LOL (while we’re on the topic of oral sex, a little over 50 percent of men and women find it to be more intimate than intercourse and consider refusal to engage to be a relationship deal-breaker. Agreed).
GiphyOkay, so with all of this intel on how men and women differ in the touch department, what does all of this even mean? To me, it’s a blaring reminder that even something as simple as touching has billions of layers to it — that even though touch is something that we all need, the art of it is something that must be studied and mastered; especially when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex and even more so when that person is our partner.
And yet, we shouldn’t take this information lightly because, when you (again) factor in all of the ways that touch is holistically beneficial…just imagine how much better intimacy would be, on all levels, if we respected how people prefer to be touched more often.
A poet by the name of John Keats once said, “Touch has a memory.” Think about that the next time you reach out to touch someone — and they reach out to touch you. Then ask yourself: what memories do you want them to have? What memories do you want to keep?
How can all of this data help to make that happen?
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Featured image by Giphy