Backpacking isn't all mid-afternoon mojitos and spectacular scenery. In fact, a life of travel often comes with baggage that's heavier than you can carry. Backpacking is no different and oftentimes equates to even more baggage - metaphorical and literal - because of the nature of this kind of travel. Similar to life, with travel, you can only prepare for some of it.
Me and my backpack in Thailand in 2013.
I left home in May 2016 and after five months in New York City, I've been backpacking since.
I am a nomad.
In total, I've traversed the globe with a bag on my back for around 10 months of my 24 years. Am I crazy? Possibly. But moving from place to place, interacting with a rainbow of different people in cultures different to my own with just a few worldly possessions strapped to my body, gets me glowing with happiness. And right now, I'm happily in the throes of a full-fledged travel addiction.
I choose to backpack because it's more economical and far more enjoyable than regular all-inclusive, pre-planned vacations. Everyone has a different idea of what backpacking entails (ZERO camping for me, thanks) but broadly, I'd define my backpacker lifestyle as consisting of some the following elements: economy flying, a backpack, hostel dorms, homestays, street food, public buses, local favourites, and minimal planning.
If you're thinking of backpacking instead of vacationing, I can assure you it won't always be free of challenges, but it will be memorable, exciting, enlightening, and totally worth it.
Saying that, here are a few things I wish I knew before I ever set out on the road.
Don't Travel With Someone For The Sake Of It
I like solo travel - a lot. I like the uninhibited freedom of being able to wake up in the morning to decide where to visit and at what time to get eat churros (anytime, FYI). I like making the call about where to stay and who to talk to. I like making mistakes safely with the knowledge that they can die with me on the road and no one else has to know. But when I first started travelling properly (Colombia), I found myself seeking out long-term travel buddies out of fear of being alone. This culminated in me travelling with a girl I didn't really get on with, in a group of three, for three whole weeks. The snapping and sniping came to a head when we both got drunk on the last night and had a huge row. By the next morning, my travel buddy upped and left without saying a word to me and all I had left were hundreds of pictures of us on my camera…
Travelling with friends in Guatepe, Colombia (no fights here)
Travel friendships are formed under pretty unnatural circumstances - fun, sun, and stress, to be exact - so it's no wonder they're often fleeting. Just be sure that you're aware of what you're getting yourself into before you commit to travelling with someone you barely know. Oftentimes, you'll grow more if you go it alone for the most part.
If It Ain't A Backpack, It Will Be The Bane Of Your Existence
The type of backpack you need to invest in
Any bag other than a backpack just isn't going to cut it.
In fact, the only thing my current bag has cut (a large Nike sports bag), is my right arm as I've struggled to lug it through the streets of Havana with its single side-strap recently. I left NYC completely unprepared and didn't invest in the type of backpack that I brought to Colombia and Asia a few years back.
And I regret it every time I have to change rooms, get a bus, or move more than a few steps.
A “70L" backpack, like the one I used to have at the left, is perfect for any trip longer than two weeks and should cost around $75-$110 - so invest!
Pack As If Nothing Is Replaceable
If you're anything like me, when prepping for a trip you probably throw all your things into your bag with carefree abandon because you just want to GET there, already. But with just a little more effort into your packing technique, you can reduce your risk of losing/breaking your stuff on the road (because finding a good sports bra or a decent iPhone charger in a rural Cuban village is a lot harder than it is in your home city, trust me).
Backpack on the beach
I wish I'd made a clothing checklist at the start of every backpacking trip so I could keep track of all my black tops among all the other millions of black items in hostels, before they disappeared. I also wish I triple wrapped all my hair products because SheaMoisture is worth its weight in gold when you're in a country that doesn't stock it.
I'm also currently travelling with a girl who uses vacuum-pack bags for her clothes which is my next travel packing essential because, in addition to protecting everything, she saves so much space. Oh, and I REALLY wish I got insurance on all my electricals too.
Read Your Insurance Policy Word For Word
Although Colombia is now a pretty safe country for tourists, my iPhone was pinched from my pocket in broad daylight in the capital city of Bogota back in 2015, which killed my vibe completely. I remember it happened at the end of my trip and that my misery was massaged, in part, by the distant memory of the travel insurance I'd purchased before leaving. Yes, I can claim it all back, I remember thinking. However, when I dug out my policy I was hella pissed to discover that cellphones were actually not covered in the insurance plan I'd chosen. Moral of the story? Read the smallest of the fineprint before you purchase any travel insurance. And don't keep your iPhone in your back-pocket either.
Save Space In Your Pack For Meds
Over the past few months, I've been hit with food poisoning, cystitis, heat rash, the flu, and I've had my eye swell up due to some random allergic reaction. But due to my blind optimism back in the UK (read: lack of planning), most of the time I didn't have meds to help. Getting sick thousands of miles from home, when you have to describe your symptoms in a foreign language, using Google translate, whilst doubled over in pain in a tiny hospital, is an experience you'd rather avoid, right?
Well, if you save space in your pack for re-hydration salts (for the inevitable food poisoning), antihistamines (for the allergies), generic painkillers (for the headaches and hangovers), a first aid-kit (for scratches and cuts), and anything else you know you will need, that inevitable sickness won't be quite as difficult to deal with when it hits.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Using the same material from the interior of the Volvo EX90, Hudson crafted a wool-blend car coat and waistbelt that combine the vehicle’s Scandinavian design with his signature tailoring and intention. The exclusive collection launched on October 20, and each piece is made-to-order by Sergio Hudson Collections.
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In October, I traveled to Charleston with a group of journalists to get a firsthand look at Hudson and Volvo’s location. During a fitting, Hudson said his goal is to make “great work that can stand the test of time.”
“People can look back on and say, ‘I remember when Sergio did that collaboration with Volvo,’” he continued. “Thinking about aligning yourself with classic brands that speak to where you want to go. And I think that's what this collaboration kind of means to me and my business.”
Hudson pinpoints his mom as the biggest influence for his designs. This collaboration was no different.
“This particular coat reminded me of the swing coats that my mom used to wear in the early 90s. You know, diva girls in the early 90s had Sandra suits,” he said, referring to Jackée Harry’s character in 227. “My mom wore those and she would have these matching swing coats to go over them. And that's where the initial idea came. This would be around the same time that we had our Volvo. So she would put on her suit, her swing coat, get in that red Volvo, and go to church.”
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With this capsule and beyond, Hudson wants to see more staples rotating in and out of closets this fall. He advises fashionistas to build her closet out with essentials to mix and match that aren’t just stylish but also sustainable.
“It's just those special pieces,” he said. “You can wear the same shirt and pants every day and nobody will notice. But if you have a special boot, a special coat, a special bill, a special bag, that kind of speaks to everything that your style stands about, that is something you should focus on.”
These are the same kind of staple pieces that return to our Pinterest boards and TikTok feeds season after season. Fast fashion has never been Hudson’s aim. “I'm trying to create a special pieces that can stand the test of time,” he said in his warm, Southern accent. “I'm only creating those kind of pieces from here on out.”
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For Hudson, this collaboration is revolutionary. It’s his first time working with a car company and experimenting outside of his wheelhouse in this way.
“This is a Scandinavian brand, and, you know, it's 70 years old. I'm an African-American boy from South Carolina that has had a brand for 10 years. So I think bridging those two worlds and seeing the similarities was the beauty of this project,” he explained.
Though Hudson and his partner and CEO of Sergio Hudson Collections Inga Beckham have made massive strides in just 10 years, Hudson said the industry is far from where he wants to see it when it comes to Black representation. He pointed to how few Black designers were at this year’s Met Gala despite the theme being Black dandyism.
“The fact that I dressed 18 people speaks to how many of us weren't there,” he said. He implored more of industries, fashion and beyond, to collaborate with Black designers often.
“Allow mentorship. Allow funding. Allow great design to shine through,” he implored. “When it comes to being a designer of African descent, when you can't get the funding that your counterparts have, you can't compete. When you get opportunities like doing a collaboration with Volvo, or you get opportunities to be at the Met Gala, that's putting us on the equal playing field, but really the funding behind it is what we need to take it to that desk level.”
Featured image courtesy