These Are The 10 Jobs That Introverts Might Utterly Hate
Being an introvert is a beautiful thing. (In fact, research shows that many people have introverted traits or habits even if they're self-proclaimed extroverts, and that some inversion habits are good for everyone.) According to the American Psychological Association, introversion is a "broad personality trait" in which a person tends to be, for the most part, "more withdrawn, retiring, reserved, quiet, and deliberate," and people with this trait prefer to "work independently". So when it comes to the worst jobs for introverts, candidates must consider what might be a good fit based on this personality trait.
There are apparently four types of introverts (anxious, restrained, social, and thinking), so while the following jobs are totally broad and general suggestions, there are always exceptions to the rules.
Nevertheless, check out 10 worst jobs that introverts might find utterly unbearable and a waste of their specialized talents. (And don't worry. We offer a few related options that might be a better fit for introverts as well):
Sales Executive, Associate, or Manager
Since this typically requires quite a bit of social interaction (even if done virtually or via phone), this is often touted as not ideal for the introverted among us. Sales professionals also are often tasked with corresponding with customers or clients, and depending on the company or industry, the frequency can go from moderate to high. They also must find new clients or leads, make cold calls, cultivate relationships through meetings or lunches, or launch campaigns that require working with multiple teams.
Patient-Focused Healthcare Professional
Working as a doctor or nurse in a hospital, for example, often includes multiple instances where you'd have to talk with, relate to, and help in the healing process of a diverse community of not only patients, but other doctors and nurses, especially in environments like ER or maternity. For introverts, this field is not totally off-limits though, as experts say jobs like independent therapist, psychologist, medical researcher, home-care nurse, or medical tech are great because you can work one-on-one with a limited amount of patients, set your own hours, and be independent of teams or large groups. You can also enjoy a work environment that be a lot quieter and less hectic than that of a large office, clinic or hospice facility.
Politician or Community Activist
Even in today's pandemic environment, politicians, activists and community organizers have to engage with their supporters and build support from others to get their jobs done. There may be a bit of hand-shaking, marching, and private in-person meetings required, along with the virtual town halls, Zoom conferences, and roundtables. As an introvert, you can still find other great jobs in this arena, like social media manager, campaign consultant, pollster, graphic designer, or media strategist.
Teacher
Again, being a teacher is another job that depends on the nature of the work. Lecturers or teachers who must creatively interact with elementary-, middle- or high school-aged children lean more toward extroverted traits, and there has been a trend of introverted teachers burning out. There can also be requirements to participate in group work and collaborative teaching, which many introverts, by definition, will find draining. However, some teaching positions are well-suited for introverts such as working for a school that only offers online courses, one-on-one or small group lecturing, or being your own boss and creating online courses for download.
Event Planner
Constantly having to manage the success of an event—especially weddings, baby showers, and festivals—can take a lot out of someone who prefers solo work where there aren't a lot of opinions and energies to deal with. Even virtual events include the responsibility of catering to multiple personalities and meeting several goals all at once, and there can be a lot of moving parts to deal with in launching an event. Again, tech or entrepreneurial services that complement this position are best for introverts, and there are even companies that offer event-in-a-box options or party kits.
Retail Associate or Manager
This often involves elements of sales and customer service that might not be a great fit for someone who really doesn't prefer to constantly exert themselves to ensure customer happiness. Also, addressing problems with orders, working with other associates to meet customer demands, and handling inventory or vendor issues is oftentimes a norm in these sorts of jobs. A good option if you're still into retail but don't want to deal with too many of the extrovert-focused aspects of it: Find a good work-from-home customer service gig, sell your own wares via Etsy or Shopify to a niche audience or, again, try offering complementary services where you can make your own hours and work remotely.
Food Service Associate or Manager
You'll often be face-to-face with customers—some not so nice, and some a bit too picky for your tolerance—and you'll more than likely be working in teams, whether via a service line, kitchen, or cashier lane, which puts you even more in the line of exposure to customers and other workers. This job is typically considered essential and is best suited for workers who love serving and interacting with the public. They are often tasked with being on their feet around groups of people—even if those groups are bit smaller due to the pandemic. A better option for an introvert is to consider the type of food service or company you're looking to work for, such as a bakery— which might cater to a smaller population, have a smaller team, or even allow you to work alone to create your own goodies for sale—or a coffee shop, which might be quieter and have a more easy-going culture. Also consider going out on your own and being a personal chef for one family or choosing the clients you prepare foods for.
Pharmacist
You'd think shoveling out pills would be something an introvert might like, but let's not forget that more than 65% of the U.S. adult population uses prescription drugs, so you will definitely be dealing with a high volume of in-person interactions, even if behind a plexiglass barrier. Pharmacists do more than just administering medicine, and they are often required to work on their feet, offer advice related to medicine, deal with insurance companies, and coordinate with teams. If interested in this field as an introvert, there are options such as mail-order or remote order entry pharmacist.
Real Estate Agent
Buying or renting a home is a major decision for many, and as a real estate agent you'll be charged with navigating not only the financial side of it all but the personal and emotional side as well. You'll also have to personally connect with prospective buyers, sellers, lessee, and leasers in order to see sustainable success in this role, and there's quite a bit of teamwork involved as well. If you're into real estate as an introvert, you might find better success offering complementary services like interior design (for staging or buyers and leasers who want to decorate their new spot) or pursuing tech jobs like app-building, social media management, Website design, or IT for a real estate company. You could also look into managing an Airbnb where you would work remote and have more control over what clients you interact with along with when and how much you interact with them.
Law Enforcement Officer
Lately we've all seen the ugly and horrible side of law enforcement in the form of police brutality and unlawful atrocities, and we all know that this is a job that often involves a great deal of person-to-person contact. Even the culture of working in law enforcement involves partnering up, working on cases with others, and following key protocols that involve multiple departments related to criminal justice, public management, and legal systems. These jobs might also entail working in spaces with large populations such such as jails, prisons, youth centers, schools, courts, and other state and local offices. If you're an introvert who would like to work within law enforcement, jobs like cyber security specialist, fraud investigator, lab technician, security specialist, criminal analyst, hand-writing examiner, or animal control professional might be a better fit.
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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You're Catching Feelings For Your Guy Friend. Now What?
Let me just start this all off by saying that I will never be the kind of person who thinks that men and women can’t be friends (or that single people and married people can’t be friends). Choosing friends is about looking into someone’s character and how they complement your life; it should never be about their gender or relational status. Don’t get it twisted, though — in order to properly navigate the dynamic between a man and a woman, there are some things that should be pondered and then discussed.
For instance, is the relationship truly platonic? Even though our culture has reduced that word to simply mean that two people are friends and nothing more, the actual definition is that BOTH individuals do not have any type of sexual interest or attraction at all; that only a spiritual kind of love exists. Is that possible? I have a few male friends where that word applies. I won’t lie, though — most of my (unmarried) male friends are more in the lane of, “You could get it. We just value the friendship too much to explore it”…and no, it hasn’t been “game” whenever they’ve brought it up.
Contrary to the notoriously toxic belief of so many folks out here, not every man has coochie on the brain 24/7 and/or lacks self-control and/or is willing to risk it all in order to get some. In fact, not one man in my life is even remotely that shallow.
Now, that doesn’t mean that I don’t get that the line between just friends and possibly more isn’t a tightrope for some friendships from time to time. Like, what happens if the person who ends up “with a little extra,” as far as emotions go for a friend, ends up being you? Even further, what if that question isn’t even close to being rhetorical because it’s something that you’re experiencing right at this very moment, and you’re not exactly sure what you should do about it?
If that’s the case, have no fear. I think I might be able to offer up a bit of insight that can get you through the (potential) internal stress of what happens when you look up one day and it really does seem like, out of nowhere, you suddenly want your guy friend to become something…more.
What Kind of Friendship Is It?
GiphySo before we talk about anything else, the first thing that you should get clear on is the type of friendship that you’re in. What I mean by that is, although we tend to use “friend” to cover all of the bases of someone who we’re not romantically involved with (or isn’t a relative or we can’t stand — and chile,don’t even get me started on frenemies), the reality is that friendships definitely have levels to them (check out “Always Remember That Friendships Have 'Levels' To Them”).
Like,is he a work friend? Is he a church friend? Is he someone you’ve recently gotten to know over the past couple of months? Is he an online friend? Or is it deeper, like a guy who you’ve been friends with for a couple of years now or someone who you used to have in the friend zone (check out “Before You 'Friend Zone' Someone, Read This.”)? Or — and lawd have mercy, if so — is he your best friend, and you’re starting to see him in a completely different light?
Do you see how, just breaking down some of these friendship dynamics, the situations are quite different? For instance, if you have feelings for a co-worker friend, you’ve got to take into consideration what your work environment will be like if the two of you date and it ultimately doesn’t work out. If he’s an online friend (especially if he’s in another city, state, or country), the risk of potential rejection probably won’t be as impactful as if you have to see him every weekend at church.
If he’s someone you already put into the friend zone, I’m gonna tell you right now that if he has any sort of self-esteem, you’re gonna have to eat a few slices of humble pie to get him to entertain being more than friends (because guys tend to move on once they find out that they fall into that space). And if he’s your best friend? Well, while it probably won’t cost you your friendship, it could make things awkward for a while at best or shift the relationship a bit at worst.
That’s why I definitely think that getting real about the kind of friendship you have with the guy is what you should get mentally cleared up first. Then, we can move on to the next thing.
What Do You Want to Come from the Matter?
GiphyAnyway, because I do have a nice circle of male friends, many of whom are single or divorced, I get asked often if it’s hard to be just friends with them. It’s not because I really like what we have as being friends only. There is a type of intimacy and balance of energies that come from a male-female friendship that you can never get from same-sex ones. I value it all too much to risk it. What I want from my male friends — a certain level of protection (because I’m single), insight from a male perspective, doing things that my female friends may not want to do, etc. — I get…and that’s worth more than seeing if the sex would be bomb or if we should try something more and it end up being a bad decision that we can’t come back from.
That’s me, though. That doesn’t have to be you and your guy friend. For example, what if what you want is to explore a sexual relationship (check out “5 Things You Should Ask Yourself Before Having Sex with A Friend”) because you can’t seem to get sex with him out of your head? For better or for worse, chile, back when I was out in these sex streets, that was pretty much my pattern: sex with close friends (check out “14 Lessons I've Learned From 14 Sex Partners”), and it’s not an impossible feat.
You’ve just got to be real with yourself about whether that’s truly all that you want and if you can handle it gracefully if things don’t go as planned (check out “How To Preserve Your Friendship After BAD Casual Sex”) or the sex is so good that now you can’t decide if you’re into him or just into…it. Oh, and don’t even get me started on if he’s seeing other people (because all you wanted was sex…right?). Yeah, a movie that I like calledSleeping with Other People has a scene where a woman is mad that her casual sex partner is sleeping around. His response was on-point: “Keeping our arrangement doesn’t make me an as-hole, but it does make you a liar.” #checkmate
That’s just one example to emphasize the point that, yes, you need to figure out what you want to come from your more-than-just-friends feelings. Do you just want to get it off of your chest and you’re not sure if you want or need to do anything more than that? Do you want just sex? Would you like to go on a few dates to see ifthe chemistry is mutual? Are you “deeply in” and you’re hoping that he feels the same way so that you two can have a full-blown relationship?
Listen, I have watched enough relationships in my lifetime to know that when it comes to something that needs to be as thoughtfully approached as this, it’s not fair to share your feelings with someone and then expect them to know what you want to come from doing so. You need to know…first. So before bringing it to him, figure it out on your own.
Tell Him the Deal. No Hinting Around.
GiphyAlthough timing and delivery matter, I don’t know one man who isn’t a “straight no-chaser” type of individual. This means no hinting around. No guessing games. No 50 million questions to try and see if he likes you first. I promise you that all of these approaches are off-putting to guys and will get them to mentally and emotionally tap out before you get around to making your point. Besides, if he’s a FRIEND friend, you should be able to express your genuine feelings — and honestly, this is a huge plus to telling him: you will be able to see how mature he is when it comes to handling matters of the heart.
Can there be a reason to not tell your guy friend how you feel? I mean, honestly, if you’re avoiding it, I’m assuming that it’s mostly due to fear, and trying to maintain anything with fear as your “fuel,” ultimately, isn’t going to get you anywhere. Plus, the more that you suppress what is going on inside of you, the more it’s going to alter the energy between the two of you, and that could cause unnecessary stress and strain to where either you start unnecessarily projecting things onto him, or he wants to spend less time around you because you’re making him feel as uncomfortable as you are.
Are there any exceptions to this? Eh. If you’re more like good acquaintances than actual friends, perhaps. Personally, though, I think that solid friendships are rooted in honesty — and how can you claim that you’ve got a healthy friendship with someone if you’re holding something as big back as having feelings for them away from them? Logically, it just doesn’t make much sense.
Prepare Yourself for His Response. And Don’t Penalize the Friendship If He Doesn’t Feel the Same Way.
GiphyOnce you tell him, for the most part, there are three ways that telling him can go: he can like you back, he can want some time and space to consider the possibilities, or he can not be interested. Let’s briefly unpack all three.
Liking you back...
So, what if you tell him how you feel, and he feels the same way (or something close)? My two cents would be for the two of you to still go slowly. Where I’ve seen many mess up is they think that they can go from friend to more-than-friends in two days or less, and that’s super unrealistic. Meaning, someone having feelings for you, too doesn't mean that they can, should, or will automatically stop seeing other people or that you two can or should immediately start becoming intimate.
Take some time to really discuss each other’s feelings, thoughts, and expectations — and what you guys should do trying to move into a different relational space ultimately proves to not be the best thing for one or both of you. If anything should take the “ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” approach, it’s friends who are transitioning into something more — or else.
Wanting time and space...
Going from friends to potentially something different is a lot like shifting gears in a car — and if you move too fast, you can strip them. That said, just because you’ve been sitting with your feelings for a while, it’s not fair to want to rush him after he finds out. Whether he wants time and space to figure out how he feels about your feelings or time and space from you altogether — both are warranted.
Should it be for weeks with no contact? Not if he’s a good friend. On the other hand, should you pressure him into making you feel at ease about what he’s just now learning? Eh. You might want to go to another friend to help you out with that. I mean, how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot? Right…exactly.
He's not interested...
No one likes rejection; that’s real. At the same time, though, it’s not fair to penalize him if he doesn’t feel the same way that you do. Clearly, if he’s your friend (especially a close friend), he adores and values you on some level. However, if that’s not romantically, try and be emotionally mature enough to know and then accept that not wanting all of what you desire from the relationship doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want you in his life at all.
At the end of the day, if it’s too hard to be his friend when you want something else, you’ve got to do what’s best for you. Just make sure that you’re not going to lose a great person in your life because your ego got bruised or your pride couldn’t handle him not reciprocating what you were offering. It’s not fair, and it could end up costing you…A LOT. Take the kind of space you need to redirect your focus. If he loves you, he’ll be there when you get…back.
___
I’ve developed feelings for a friend before; more than once. Was it always easy to work through? Not always. My friendships always survived it, though — whether the feelings were reciprocated or not. And it was because we valued the friendship too much to lose it.
And honestly, I think that is one of the best things to come out of having feelings for a friend: you end up finding out just how solid the bond actually is. And in a world where really good friends are hard to come by…that can never not be a good thing.
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