There's a certain amount of heaviness that comes with the crown a black woman wears. People usually want to touch our crowns. Like, a lot.
Since our crowns are intricate in design, it's not uncommon to have people run their dirty little fingers in your crown, while examining the craftsmanship of your royal headwear.
By now, you've probably figured out that I'm not talking about an actual crown. If I were, it would seem absurd that someone would be so invasive as to touch something so sacred that lays upon your head. Right?
Unfortunately, that's exactly what happens to a lot of black women. Whether we wear afros, braids, or relaxers, someone is quick to invade our personal space to touch our hair. The rudeness can be overwhelming.
Over the years, many black women have collectively lent their voices to tell too curious onlookers to keep their hands to themselves, and they still don't hear us. But a Portland-based game developer named Momo may have been successful in getting the message across.
This week, she presented a video game called Hair Nah over Twitter in response to the generations old retort, "Don't touch my hair!"
Source: Hair Nah
In the game, you play a young black woman, Aeva, who is traveling by air. As she makes her way to her destination, she must slap away curious hands that are interrupting her as she attempts to catch her flight.
Choosing a player is lit, too. The team added skin tones and cute hair styles as selections.
Source: Hair Nah
You also have three destination choices - Havana, Cuba; Osaka, Japan; or the Santa Monica Pier in Cali.
Source: Hair Nah
As you move through the levels, you hear comments like, "Can I touch it?" "It's so fluffy!" and "Is it attached to your head?" The harder Aeva swats, the more energy she loses on the "Nah meter."
If you win (and no, it's not easy to win the game), a screen at the end of the game explains that this is something that black women actually experience, and that people should stop doing it.
Momo sat down with Okay She Goes to talk about the game, and she said that the idea came from her real life experiences after moving to Portland, where she's had plenty of people touching her hair without permission.
I'll be walking, and a woman will reach her hands into my head. I'm talking to a teammate, and a coworker I just met is holding my hair in his hand. I'm in the checkout line, and the cashier will reach across to caress my braids. I shudder thinking about it. It's so creepy. And it sucks because I know a lot of women have had this issue their whole life. But for me, it all came at once!
She said that she hopes that the game will give people a better understanding of what it means for people to touch your hair without invitation.
I'm hoping to push the conversation further. Because I don't know how many times Black people can keep telling folks to stop touching our hair and in how many different mediums before they get it. There are countless videos, hella memes, Solange made a song, now there is this game. So if folks don't get it, it's because they don't want to.
What's amazing about the game is that Momo has gotten plenty of support, and has also helped people better explain why it's rude to the people around them.
Have you gotten any work done playing Hair Nah? I know, it was hard for me too, sis.
Head on over to Hairnah.com, and give the game your best shot.
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
