In xoNecole's Finding Balance, we profile boss women making boss moves in the world and in their respective industries. We talk to them about their business, their life, and most of all, what they do to find balance in their busy lives.
Living your best life is all about quality, not quantity.
Wealth isn't really wealth if your mental health is out of whack and a billion likes won't keep you from being burnt TF out. That's why full-time entrepreneur and boutique owner Wilonda Previlon quit her 9-5 as an Orthodontist's Assistant to pursue a life that made her feel fulfilled.
To Wilonda, success means living how she wants to and refusing to do sh*t that doesn't serve her. In an exclusive interview with xoNecole, the 26-year-old digital content creator explained, "Success to me means I can live how I want without having to force myself to do anything I don't."
Courtesy of Wilonda Previlon
While the Haitian-born Orlando native spends most of her days working from home, living the American dream as an influencer and aspiring actress, there are days when she has to press pause on her professional life to focus on her personal well-being. Wilonda shared, "Owning your own business(es) is an around-the-clock job and if you don't separate personal life with professional life, you can easily get burned out and not produce high-quality content."
Wilonda recently sat down with xoNecole to talk about how she makes self-care a priority in her busy life. Between working out, social media detoxes, and intentionally carving out time with the fam, here's how this media maven finds balance:
What’s been the driving force behind all of the hats that you wear these days? What is your “why”?
The driving force behind all the hats I wear these days is knowing I have so many beautiful chocolate girls who are looking at me and are inspired by something as simple as me loving myself and embracing my own skin. I love getting the DMs from them saying I helped them love themselves more and more each day!
What is a typical day in your life? If no day is quite the same, give me a rundown of a typical work week and what that might consist of.
Yes, definitely no days are the same, so a typical week in my life consists of planning, creating content, replying to loads of emails, listening to podcasts, [and] working on my boutique Damis Activewear. I am a one-woman show, so I edit, model, take pictures, market, everything.
What are your mornings like?
Mornings are my favorite. I am a morning person for sure! I would wake up, say my prayers/give thanks to God, workout, eat breakfast, catch up on my DMs messages/IG comments, reply to emails. During the time that I'm eating and replying to messages, nine times out of ten, I am listening to a business or financial podcast or audiobook.
After that, if I have a YouTube video to create or campaign to do, I get my hair/makeup done to begin to create. Around this time, it is about 10:30 am. Normally this takes up the rest of my morning until noon where [if I remember] I eat lunch. I am so much more productive in the morning and being that I use natural light for just about everything, my mornings are very important and I don't like wasting time.
Courtesy of Wilonda Previlon
"I am so much more productive in the morning and being that I use natural light for just about everything, my mornings are very important and I don't like wasting time."
How do you wind down at night?
At night, before I mentally check out of work mode, I plan for the next day. My wind down is with a nice shower and either Netflix or a good book.
When you have a busy week, what’s the most hectic part of it?
Deadlines! Being an influencer can be stressful, being that you are working with major companies that have specific requirements for each post/deliverable. If you don't pay close attention to the deck and make sure all requirements are fulfilled, you are at risk of doing the entire campaign again, or even worse, have the client not return for another campaign. Companies would literally come to you and expect you to do an entire campaign in a 7-day turnaround, which is very quick when you have other companies you are working with.
Do you practice self-care? What does that look like for you?
Yes, most definitely! I love stepping back and taking care of myself. It's crazy that some people would think going on a vacation would seem to be a "self-care practice", but as an influencer, it is most definitely still work and half the time, we don't get to really enjoy it because we are worried about creating content. My self-care practices are the simple: a girls' night out with my friends where there is no picture taking involved, no postings. Also, working out is very therapeutic for me. Spending quality time with my family about once a month (since I don't live near them anymore) is a self-care practice for me. Another big one is stepping away from social media whenever I think it's needed, to be thankful for what I have going on in my life and not be so wrapped up in someone else's life and accomplishments.
Courtesy of Wilonda Previlon
"My self-care practices are the simple: a girls' night out with my friends where there is no picture taking involved, no postings. Also, working out is very therapeutic for me. Spending quality time with my family about once a month (since I don't live near them anymore) is a self-care practice for me."
What advice do you have for busy women who feel like they don’t have time for self-care?
You have time! It is just a matter of prioritizing you. It baffles me when people say they don't have time for themselves. Well baby, who will put you first besides you? No one. It can be something as little as 30 minutes a week where you are not catering to anything business- or family-related. You need this for yourself. It is vital to always make time for your mental and physical health.
How do you find balance with:
Friends?
I keep my circle small. The more "friends" you have, the more you will be pulled in all directions to accommodate meetups/events. Keep a small circle of friends that are very important to you.
Exercise? Does it happen?
I strive to workout 4 to 5 days a week. [When I do] I see my skin glows, my energy is up, and I am nicer.
Do you cook or find yourself eating out more often?
I cook. I don't mind cooking at all. Cooking is very therapeutic as well. I only eat out if I am out all day or socially. But, most of the time, I have people come over and we do seafood night or bake.
Courtesy of Wilonda Previlon
"It baffles me when people say they don't have time for themselves. Well baby, who will put you first besides you? No one."
When do you feel most beautiful?
Sweatpants, hair tied, chilling with no makeup on. I know that probably sounds cliché, but it is the truth for me. And when you have people in your life that amp you up in that state, you definitely can't help but feel beautiful during your most basic state.
When you are going through a bout of uncertainty or feeling stuck, how do you handle it?
I try not to ponder on it too much. I realize when I think about it, it starts to stress me out. Stress makes me anxious, anxiety allows me to be mentally doubtful about myself and I never want to be in that position. I am a workaholic, so my coping mechanism is to work more, which may sound bad, but I love what I do, so this is a great outlet for me.
Courtesy of Wilonda Previlon
"Stress makes me anxious, anxiety allows me to be mentally doubtful about myself and I never want to be in that position. I am a workaholic, so my coping mechanism is to work more, which may sound bad, but I love what I do, so this is a great outlet for me."
What does happiness mean to you?
Happiness to me means those around me are good. I feel you thrive in a good environment. My environment has to be positive.
What is something you think others forget when it comes to finding balance?
Others forget that your actions affect everyone around you. We can easily get caught up in our "own little world" and neglect family, friends, and self. Take the time to plan and make an effort to balance all aspects of your life.
For more of Wilonda, follow her on Instagram.
Featured image courtesy of Wilonda Previlon.
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So, why is it that, when it comes to our hair — Black hair — maintaining moisture is such a constant struggle (especially the tighter our curls are)? The science behind it is that the curlier our hair is, the harder it becomes for the sebum from our scalp to cover our strands from root to tip (which is a great reminder to keep your scalp moisturized, by the way). However, as someone with high porosity hair who has found maintaining hydration to probably be my greatest hair challenge (as far as length retention goes), I think that failing to do certain things to our hair regularly plays as much of a vital role.
Today, let’s look into 10 things that you can do — things that I’ve personally done and continue to do — that can keep your hair full of moisture which will ultimately keep it strong and hella healthy.
1. Master Your Hair’s Porosity
I’m telling you from firsthand experience that, until/unless you learn what your hair’s porosity is (which is its ability to maintain water), you will never truly master how to keep it moisturized. My hair? It’s high porosity because my cuticles are open; this means that, although my locks take in hydration easily, I lose it almost just as fast.
"Low porosity" means that cuticles are so tightly bound that it’s hard to get hydration in; however, once moisture penetrates, it remains longer than it does in high-porosity hair. "Normal porosity" speaks to there being a pretty good balance.
Keeping all of this in mind, if you keep trying to get moisture into your hair without knowing its porosity, I can promise you that you are going to unnecessarily stress yourself (and probably your hair) out. So, if you’re not sure what yours is (for the record, porosity can also change due to things like chemical treatments and even age), this video here offers up DIY tests that are pretty effective and can help you understand your hair needs better.
2. Upgrade Your Deep Conditioning Practices
I’ve shared in other articles that it took years for me to start really deep conditioning my hair. I don’t mean just slapping on some conditioner, letting it sit for 5-10 minutes, and then going on about my day. I mean finding the kind of deep conditioner that would complement my hair type (including its porosity) and then allowing it to penetrate my hair shaft for no less than 30-45 minutes. Over the past couple of years, though, I’ve upped the ante even more.
Now I create my own cocktail of conditioners (hair bonding products and a hair oil like avocado or rosemary oil included), apply a generous amount of the blend to my damp hair, and then sit with a hair steaming bonnet on my head for at least an hour. I’m telling you, if you’ve never steamed your hair before, it is a real game-changer!
Not only does it help your hair conditioner to deeply penetrate your strands, it also helps to unclog the hair follicles on your scalp, increase hair elasticity, works to enhance your natural curl pattern, and prepares your hair to take in whatever products you plan to add to your hair after rinsing your deep conditioner out (like a leave-in conditioner; more on that later). So, whether you get a fancy steamer, a steam bonnet or you decide to stand in a hot shower for a while, always make steaming a part of your conditioning process — if you want more moisture, that is.
3. Use Water-Based Products
Reading labels on the back of hair products is so important if you want your locks to thrive. That said, when it comes to retaining hair moisture, it’s essential that you go for products that are water-based; this starts with ones that have water listed as the first ingredient on the label. When hair products have a lot of water in them, that helps to reduce dryness which can lead to breakage. For starters, you can find a list of some of the best water-based leave-in conditioners here.
4. Avoid Alcohol-Based Ones (Well, Some of Them)
Here’s the thing about hair products that have alcohol in them: some are bad, and others are actually pretty beneficial. As far as Cetearyl alcohol, lauryl alcohol, and benzyl alcohols (which are more of a hair product preservative than anything), these are helpful because they can actually help to soften and hydrate your hair. What I’m talking about here is ethanol, SD alcohol 40, propanol, isopropyl, and propyl types of alcohol; these are problematic because not only do they have the (strong) potential to dry out your hair on their own, but they also tend to strip your strands of the natural sebum that your scalp produces.
The bottom line here is to read the labels to see which type of alcohol is in the product that you’re considering. Also, even when it comes to the “good” ones, pay attention to how your hair feels 2-3 days after applying them. If it’s brittle or sticky, stop using it; it’s not helping.
5. Drink More Water
No matter how much water you put on your hair, you’re still going to need to be well-hydrated within. In fact, did you know that between 25-30 percent of your hair’s weight is made up of water? This means that, although it’s still being researched if dehydration is connected to hair loss, what you can know for sure is water helps to increase blood circulation to your scalp, helps your hair follicles to absorb nutrients, keeps your scalp hydrated, and water also helps to prevent brittleness which reduces breakage.
So yes, make sure that you get plenty of water into your system daily. Oh, and if you happen to be a tea lover, check out “10 Teas That Are Great For The Fall Season — As Far As Hair Growth Is Concerned” for ones that can hydrate your strands while benefitting them in other ways too.
6. Eat Fatty Acids and Antioxidants More Often
Speaking of “moisturized insides,” I can also vouch for the fact that adding certain foods to your diet can help keep your hair hydrated. For instance, did you know that fatty acids make up a whopping 85 percent of your hair’s lipid content? This is relevant because lipids help to maintain your hair’s strength and manageability not to mention its thickness, growth, and moisture. All of this is essential because you need things that are going to help you handle the manipulation that comes with styling your hair.
Antioxidants are good as well because they will help to keep your scalp healthy, reduce hair shedding, fight off free radicals, help to prevent UV damage (including how the sun can dry out your hair), slow down premature graying, increase circulation to your scalp and yes, maintain moisture. Foods that are full of fatty acids include salmon, kidney beans, cashews, peanuts, sunflower seeds, chia seeds, and egg yolks. Foods that are loaded with antioxidants include berries, artichokes, red cabbage, spinach, okra, collards and plums.
7. Try an ANTI-Humectant
You’re probably familiar with what a humectant is; it’s something that pulls moisture from the hair. As far as ones that are good for your hair,honey is a humectant that immediately comes to mind. Okay, so what is an anti-humectant? It's a product that will prevent moisture from leaving your hair once the moisture is already present. Therefore, if you’re someone who loses hair hydration a lot, an anti-humectant can be a real lifesaver for you (especially on the days when it’s hella humid and you want to reduce the appearance of frizz).
For the record, since anti-humectants include things like silicones and beeswax, if you’ve ever used either one of those, you probably already know that it’s best to take the “less is more” approach. Still, if you need some assistance keeping moisture around, an anti-humectant can make that happen for you. Check out a list of these types of hair productshere andhere.
8. Try Some Monoi Oil
If you’re not familiar with monoi oil, it’s an oil that comes from soaking the petals of Tahitian gardenias into coconut oil. I’m such a fan of it that I actually shouted the oil out in another hair care article a few years back (“What Your Natural Hair Needs This Spring Season”). Although it does things like help to strengthen your hair and reduce frizz, one of my favorite perks is monoi oil also helps to reduce split ends — and since split ends are the result of hair that is dry and brittle, well, you can see why you should consider giving it a shot; especially if length retention is your (ultimate) goal.
9. Make Leave-In Conditioner a Part of Your Nightly Hair Routine
Speaking of taking care of your ends, since that is the oldest part of your hair, you need to “baby” them more than any other part of your locks; otherwise, they are prone to breakage, and length will never be something that you will see much of. One way to do that is to give your ends more hydration by applying a leave-in conditioner to your ends no less than 2-3 times a week, whether you’re someone who rolls up your hair, braids, or twists it. My favorite for a while now has been Mielle’s Pomegranate & Honey Leave-In Conditioner. Some other options that you might want to check out are located here, here, and here.
10. Wrap Your Hair Up at Night
Y’all, please don’t underestimate the importance of wrapping your hair up at night — not just to avoid the friction that tossing and turning can cause (which can ultimately lead to breakage) but because it really is true that your hair can dry out if you are lying down for hours on end without some satin or silk on your head to protect it from your bedding. Listen, I have had seasons when I didn’t wrap my hair up and seasons when I did — when it comes to retaining moisture, the difference is like night and day whenever I do take out five extra minutes to do the step, I just talked about and then to cover it up with something that won’t absorb all of my efforts.
BONUS: Regularly Use a Finishing Spray
If you want your hair to have more sheen to it, you probably already know that oil sheen can make that happen for you. Okay, but what if you want to lightly condition your hair throughout the day? Then what? Something that I am a huge fan of is finishing and conditioning sprays. They tend to be light, they help to keep the cuticles of my strands smooth and my hair soft, and they are able to add movement (like when it comes to blowouts), too. Plus, they help my hair to feel moisturized. That’s why, I absolutely could not close this article out without shouting out the brand that I use: BB Smooth Sheen Conditioning Spray with Shea Butter.
To be honest with you, I have no idea how I even stumbled upon it in the first place, yet when I tell you that it is now a staple that I can’t see going without? It’s like it coats my hair and soothes my scalp without any (real) residue so that my hair remains moisturized until I come up and do my nighttime hair routine. Definitely a must-have if you’re trying to figure out how to keep your hair from drying out in between wash days. Hey, don’t say I never told you. It’s a winner. Promise you that!
So…what are you waiting on? Your parched hair is looking for relief, and now you know just what to do. Enjoy, sis. ENJOY.
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