It's official. You've been grounded for a few weeks and are being forced to stay in your home, which can feel like solitary confinement. Mama Corona did not come here to play with you!
While you've been prescribed to socially distance yourself, the isolation can leave you feeling idle and anxious with concerns around the impact this will have on the economy, your job security, or your business. Times like this can feel like punishment, bringing up those same fears, frustrations, and feelings of being "bad", but this time with money, leaving you uncertain about your financial future.
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Many people think worries about money are just a "broke" person's problem, but SPOILER ALERT, they're not. The truth is, even HIGH EARNERS can still have a TON of fear around money. It's the equivalent of hearing someone cough around you during this pandemic--the kind of fear that makes your body tense up and makes you question why your throat or stomach is hurting all of a sudden or why you aren't feeling well.
As a Money Mindset + Business Coach, I am here to help you replace panic with peace, and turn your fears into financial favor. Here are 7 steps to get started:
1. Get grounded (in a good way).
First, take inventory of your bills. If you are concerned about the months to come, figure out what is a necessity versus a luxury. If you have the money, pay your bills. If you're experiencing financial hardship, take action.
Call the creditors and see if you can receive a 60-day suspension of payments or interest.
This may apply to mortgages, rent, cable, electric, student loans, etc. While the debts won't necessarily be forgiven, it will provide you an opportunity to get on solid ground. Connect with nature, take social media breaks when needed, and make sure you are still connecting with others and not isolating yourself during social distancing.
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2. Get out of your own head (and into your body).
With gyms shutting down across the country, your usual workout routine may not be available. Get creative with home workouts or take them outside for some fresh air and sunshine. You can find plenty of free workouts online or support your fitness friends that have taken their businesses online.
The endorphins will help you find a sense of peace in the midst of chaos, helping you to make better, more informed decisions. Make a habit of this, and if you find yourself overextended financially once the panic over coronavirus subsides, you can cancel your gym membership and pay yourself instead.
3. Shift your mindset.
Balance is key. Enjoying experiences and guilty pleasures are necessary as life is meant to be enjoyed. When you're feeling financial uncertainty, shift your mindset from CONSUMERISM to OWNERSHIP. Your emotions and boredom can get the best of you during this time which will only make you feel more financially strapped. With the way Amazon Prime is so conveniently set up, you may find yourself spending unnecessarily.
Rather than letting boredom take all your dollars that you won't see again, get in on the greatest sales of the year by making purchases that will actually provide you a return on your investment.
Just because you can't fly right now doesn't mean you can't buy and hold a piece of your favorite airlines. Those stocks might just bring you back some "free flights" in the future. Cryptocurrency and stocks are having their biggest sales in a long time right now. Plant a few seeds that will potentially help you rebound or pivot in the months and years to come.
4. Go digital.
Create or take your side hustle or business digital. And no, I'm not talking about unethical business practices like hoarding 17,000 bottles of hand sanitizer and getting banned from selling them online during a global pandemic. I'm talking about a business that feels like it's made for you because it is. Do you think it's a coincidence you've been forced to sit and slow down? It's times like this when you have more time to find and develop your purpose.
Take this time to assess your aptitude (innate gifts) and learned skill sets to monetize your talents. The world has been changing right before your eyes, and if you've been distracted by life, it's providing you with an opportunity. Will you take it?
5. Adapt.
Remember your ex, Blockbuster? It can be hard to recall when you found the current love of your life, Netflix. When Blockbuster didn't adapt, refused to do his inner work to heal and get with the times, he became a thing of the past and just didn't do it for you anymore as you evolved. This rings true more than ever today as society and technology continue to evolve. Some of the most lucrative and disruptive ideas were born from the last recession.
It is during these times it pays to be more receptive than ever to new money strategies and understand that through change comes opportunity.
Need an example of how to adapt? If you've been driving Lyft or Uber and this income stream has left you financially stressed, adapt to the current environment and consider food or grocery delivery (i.e., UberEats and Instacart, respectively).
6. Financial wellness is not determined by your bank balance.
This may sound counterintuitive. However, how much money you make or have does not determine your financial health. While being cash strapped can create anxiety, financial wellness is how you feel about your current financial situation. True abundance is being grateful and at peace no matter where you are. As we navigate through the unknowns in the wilderness of the coronavirus and the economic impact, focus on financial peace and balance. There are a lot of people whose identity is tied to money, who have lots of it, and they are being challenged to figure out what's really important.
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7. Own your money mindset. Don't let it own you.
What does this mean exactly? It means to gain clarity and take hold of the way you think and behave when it comes to your money. Oftentimes our beliefs around money and scarcity mindset run deep, connected to our childhoods. If you've never healed your relationship with money, it's a great time to invest in doing so. The fear, anxiety, and avoidance around money that has you stuck in cycles of shame and guilt aren't even yours and it's time to unpack that.
A truly abundant mindset is being grateful with what you currently have no matter where you are in your journey to financial wellness, even during a quarantine.
Staying grounded and connected especially during these chaotic times will help you shift from fearful to favored, like scoring the last pack of toilet paper. Don't you agree?
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Using the same material from the interior of the Volvo EX90, Hudson crafted a wool-blend car coat and waistbelt that combine the vehicle’s Scandinavian design with his signature tailoring and intention. The exclusive collection launched on October 20, and each piece is made-to-order by Sergio Hudson Collections.
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In October, I traveled to Charleston with a group of journalists to get a firsthand look at Hudson and Volvo’s location. During a fitting, Hudson said his goal is to make “great work that can stand the test of time.”
“People can look back on and say, ‘I remember when Sergio did that collaboration with Volvo,’” he continued. “Thinking about aligning yourself with classic brands that speak to where you want to go. And I think that's what this collaboration kind of means to me and my business.”
Hudson pinpoints his mom as the biggest influence for his designs. This collaboration was no different.
“This particular coat reminded me of the swing coats that my mom used to wear in the early 90s. You know, diva girls in the early 90s had Sandra suits,” he said, referring to Jackée Harry’s character in 227. “My mom wore those and she would have these matching swing coats to go over them. And that's where the initial idea came. This would be around the same time that we had our Volvo. So she would put on her suit, her swing coat, get in that red Volvo, and go to church.”
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With this capsule and beyond, Hudson wants to see more staples rotating in and out of closets this fall. He advises fashionistas to build her closet out with essentials to mix and match that aren’t just stylish but also sustainable.
“It's just those special pieces,” he said. “You can wear the same shirt and pants every day and nobody will notice. But if you have a special boot, a special coat, a special bill, a special bag, that kind of speaks to everything that your style stands about, that is something you should focus on.”
These are the same kind of staple pieces that return to our Pinterest boards and TikTok feeds season after season. Fast fashion has never been Hudson’s aim. “I'm trying to create a special pieces that can stand the test of time,” he said in his warm, Southern accent. “I'm only creating those kind of pieces from here on out.”
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For Hudson, this collaboration is revolutionary. It’s his first time working with a car company and experimenting outside of his wheelhouse in this way.
“This is a Scandinavian brand, and, you know, it's 70 years old. I'm an African-American boy from South Carolina that has had a brand for 10 years. So I think bridging those two worlds and seeing the similarities was the beauty of this project,” he explained.
Though Hudson and his partner and CEO of Sergio Hudson Collections Inga Beckham have made massive strides in just 10 years, Hudson said the industry is far from where he wants to see it when it comes to Black representation. He pointed to how few Black designers were at this year’s Met Gala despite the theme being Black dandyism.
“The fact that I dressed 18 people speaks to how many of us weren't there,” he said. He implored more of industries, fashion and beyond, to collaborate with Black designers often.
“Allow mentorship. Allow funding. Allow great design to shine through,” he implored. “When it comes to being a designer of African descent, when you can't get the funding that your counterparts have, you can't compete. When you get opportunities like doing a collaboration with Volvo, or you get opportunities to be at the Met Gala, that's putting us on the equal playing field, but really the funding behind it is what we need to take it to that desk level.”
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