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The Rise Of Tyla And The Importance Of Capitalizing On The Moment
For years, we watched Black female artists be forced to unfairly stagger their way through the music industry. Sometimes, they hit their stride--like Beyoncé, Mary J. Blige, Missy Elliot, and Rihanna--never truly succumbing to the doubts of those around them. Other times, they rose to stardom very quickly, only to fall suddenly overnight with a whisper.
However, more often times than not, they found themselves stuck in a strange limbo, one where they had enough to become discovered but not enough to be able to see their careers come to fruition.
Nevertheless, it appears that this narrative is now coming full circle. Contemplate the works of artists like Coco Jones, Victoria Monét, and especially the South African prodigy Tyla. With the release of her first single just four years ago, Tyla finds herself at the peak of her career--showing that although she may stumble, it was only inevitable that she'd find her footing.
With her recent Grammy and upcoming debut album, Tyla is a living example of the importance of capitalizing on created opportunities and living in the now. Here's what you can learn from her rise to stardom.
Manifest and Create Your Opportunities
Contrary to popular belief, Tyla's ascent to fame did not happen suddenly. Rather, it took her four years of arduous struggle to become famous. Tyla, who was born and raised in Johannesburg, started sharing original music and covers on Instagram while she was a senior in high school. A few months later, she began pitching her songs to several music industry heavyweights in hopes of getting a break. Consequently, Tyla manifested an opportunity to be discovered by her first manager, Garth von Giehn, who set up Tyla's first recording sessions. Tyla used to commute to the studio every weekend during her last year of school.
She released "Getting Late," her debut track, which she had recorded with Kooldrink, following her high school graduation. The dance tune with a falsetto and pop and African influences marked the start of the sensation's musical career and helped her become extremely well-known in her own country. Because of the success of this song, Tyla finally inked a record deal with Epic Records in 2021.
Tyla didn't only think hypothetically when she started creating possibilities for herself; instead, she realized how important it was to put yourself out there and turn into her own biggest advocate and fan. She developed a portfolio that demonstrated her abilities and persuaded people that she was worthy of investment due to her persistent approach to consistently producing songs and covers.
To ensure you have the same opportunities, visualize your objectives and make a six- to twelve-month strategy to achieve one or two of your goals. Then, start small every day and work towards your plan until it is completed. Regularly send leaders in your industry resumes, art, music, or whatever it is you're selling. The worst-case scenario is that they decline. When you create your plan, make sure you're creating a sturdy foundation that will guarantee your success.
Tyla wins her first Grammy
Photo by Emma McIntyre/Getty Images for The Recording Academy
Invest In Yourself: Taking a Break from University
Tyla not only taught us the value of pursuing and realizing one's aspirations, but she also stressed the value of making an investment in oneself. Tyla studied engineering at university when she first started her profession. However, the singer made the decision to put her degree on hold for a year in order to focus entirely on her music career after going through a really stressful period. Afterward, she continued to gain recognition, finally releasing the music video for "Getting Late" two years later.
This resulted in the South African sensation receiving nominations and awards, a record deal, and acclaim throughout the pandemic.
Tyla's ascent to popularity teaches us how to invest in ourselves as well as how to take our time in making and carrying out our ideas. Tyla had to balance her time between her music and engineering education when she initially started her career. However, Tyla chose to take a year off from school and devote all of her attention to her music career after feeling an unimaginable amount of stress from the major. At this point, she started to witness the fruits of her labor.
In the end, she made a video during the pandemic, which eventually led to a record label deal and domestic success.
Seize the Moment: Capitializing on "Pop Stardom"
Tyla kept taking advantage of her fame and prosperity for around three years. In contrast to several contemporary artists, she persistently and deliberately dropped singles, seizing the opportunity whenever it presented itself and only bringing forth new ones after it had passed. Tyla released two further songs in October 2021 and November 2022, "Overdue" and "To Last," respectively, after her initial single.
In addition, she made her stage debut in 2023 at the Dolce & Gabanna after-party in Milan, solidifying her status as a global performer. The singer's single "Been Thinking" got her the first chart spot of her career on the Billboard R&B airplay. Later, she traveled with Chris Brown on his "Under the Influence Tour" and released a single with Nigerian vocalist Ayra Starr.
Utilize Social Media to Control Your Narrative: Rise to Fame Through TikTok
Even though she was well-known before her TikTok dance, her long-lasting international popularity didn't come until the release of her single "Water" in July 2023. When every TikTok dancer persisted in making their own dance variant to the song or perfecting the already-created "Water" dance, it was difficult to ignore the song's enticing harmony, given how captivating it was.
@fallontonight @Tyla makes her Tonight Show debut with “Water” 💦 #FallonTonight #Tyla #Water #TylaWater
In addition, a number of musicians added their own features or covered the song to prolong its popularity. Whatever the case, Tyla's rise to fame began in the summer of 2023. The song became so well-known by the end of the summer that it peaked at number 10 on billboards in the US, UK, and Australia.
Thanks to TikTok, Tyla became the first South African to reach the Billboard Top 100 in 55 years. By embedding herself in history, it'll be hard to forget the artist for a while.
Tyla demonstrates to us the value of using social media to promote oneself through this. Building your social media network might be a great approach to generating passive money if you're looking for a second job or to market your writing, music, art, or other interests. In addition, it's an inexpensive approach to sell yourself and display your skills without having to break the bank.
This makes it possible for people to sell their brands independently and for others to market your goods on your behalf. When used properly, social media is the ideal platform for seizing the moment since it guarantees that your moment will be highlighted and shared often.
Tyla shows off her platinum plaque for "Water."
Photo by Tommaso Boddi/Getty Images for Epic Records
Network, Network, Network: Gap Collaboration
Tyla is one of the many faces of Gap, which unveiled its spring collection earlier this month. It was no surprise that the "Water" singer was chosen by the Gap to promote their business, as their Spring 2024 range is a celebration of dance, fashion, and music, all woven into linen. The charismatic and talented South African singer lends her charm and abilities to the campaign.
Tyla fits in nicely with Gap's mission to support musiciansthat are genuine and unique. In addition, the singer teamed up with the other summertime favorites Jungle's "Back on 74" dancers in an attempt to reap the rewards of their moment of fame to ensure their long-term success in the business.
Not only does the singer collaborate with clothing brands like Gap, but her upcoming debut album features collaborations with artists like Becky G, Tems, Gunna, Skillibeing, Kelvin Momo, and Travis Scott. Allowing her to capitalize on multiple audiences and fandoms with her newest singles.
This partnership demonstrates how crucial networking is to achieving one's objectives. Learning to capitalize on the moment requires networking to market one's brand, even if it can be awkward and irritating at times. You may start to open doors to new possibilities and promote the sharing of ideas and best practices by developing professional connections. As a result, networking may help you advance professionally, flourish personally, and eventually succeed in your desired industry.
Practice Self-Care: The Cancellation of World Tour
Lastly, Tyla's ascension to prominence has taught us the value of taking care of oneself and slowing down. Tyla had announced her global tour and the release of her debut album earlier this year. She did, however, also declare earlier this month that she would have to postpone her Coachella performance and her worldwide tour because of a nagging ailment.
The news took many aback since she had been giving so many performances and announcements that nobody could have predicted the artist would be going through such hardships. However, it is crucial to be reluctant to prolong one's harm in the face of fame. Most artists are so focused on seizing the moment that they neglect to calm down and let their moments unfold into whatever they may naturally become, which leads to them penning themselves into a corner.
By postponing the global tour and canceling other performances altogether, the performer is allowing herself more time to hone her stage act and presentation when the tour finally happens, as well as an opportunity for fans to pause and recognize her talent beyond the hit song "Water."
This teaches us the importance of taking moments to slow down and be in the now. Sometimes, when we work hard for something, we often forget to take a moment and appreciate the fruits of our labor. Whether it be an injury that makes us stop and take stock or simply a mindful mental health day, it is imperative to practice self-care on our journeys to success.
Tyla's self-titled debut album is available on all platforms on March 22.
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Taysha Robinson is a writer and high school English teacher, based in metro-Atlanta. A self described philomath, you can find her reading books and articles of every genre, attending educational conferences, and hiking wherever the terrain will allow.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
The Common Denominator Is You. So, Why Do You Keep Choosing The Wrong Men?
Everywhere you go, there you are. It’s one of those popular sayings (kind of like “It is what it is”) that I find myself using a lot, especially when I’m in sessions with my clients. Why? Well, it’s kind of likean article that I once read that pretty much said our culture likes to play the toxic game of blaming other people because it’s an easy way to deflect from personal accountability (check out “What It Actually Means To 'Hold Yourself Accountable'”). So true, so true,
Well, another way of saying “everywhere you go, there you are” is using the math term “common denominator” — and today, what we’re going to attempt to tackle is, why is it that some of us, if we stepped back a moment to take a very real and honest assessment of our dating life, do we always end up with the same kind of guy? One who really isn’t the best for us; sometimes, not even close.
Before getting into some questions that I think can help you get to the answer, let me just say that this is definitely one of the kinds of pieces that may step on at least your pinky toe before it’s all said and done. At the same time, although this might not be the most comfortable of reads, keep in mind what the late poet, singer, and publisher Tuli Kupferberg once said, “When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.”
And so, if when it comes to the caliber of men you’ve dated, what you’ve been doing is revealing that your pattern is not really working for your ultimate good, spend a bit of time trying to unpack just why that could be the case — why, at the end of the day, you truly are the common denominator in it all.
How Self-Aware Are You?
About five years ago, I penned an article for the site entitled “These Are The Things Self-Aware People Do Daily.” You know, of all of the things to be in this life, prioritizing self-awareness is king because self-aware people do things like hold themselves accountable, know their strengths and weaknesses, identify their triggers, have good boundaries, self-reflect, pay attention to their own “blind spots” — and they can — eh hem — take feedback and constructive criticism pretty well.
That last one? If you’re constantly in a hamster wheel or even a cul-de-sac when it comes to men, be honest with yourself: did your family, friends, hell, even your co-workers warn you about some of the guys you dated, and you found yourself either defending, deflecting or getting offended? Yeah, self-aware people don’t get down like that because they would rather have peace and be wrong than act like they are always right and remain in chaos.
So yeah, if you’re always in some foolishness or even in relationships that are simply a counterproductive waste of time, pondering how self-aware you actually are is a really good place to start. Self-reflect. Know your weaknesses. Listen to what others have to say about your tendencies. All of this can do you a whole lot of good.
How Humble Are You?
Society is a wild place, boy. The reason why I say that is because, while it’s out here acting like humility is a bad thing, Scripture says, “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4) And why is humility such a vital spiritual attribute? Because, when you’re humble — you’re grateful; you’re teachable; you’re open to seeing things outside of your own perspective; you’re compassionate and empathetic; you’re flexible; you’re forgiving, and you’re able to release your ego so that you can accept what you need over what you want.
What you need over what you want. Chile, if that doesn’t keep some people in cyclic stuff, I honestly don’t know what does. There’s a client that I have right now who only contacts me when she’s basically blown up her life because she constantly gets caught up in a man’s looks and bedroom performance. When I tell her that she needs to stop making that #1 and #2 of things to look for in a relationship, she “uh-huh's” me and then does what she wants to do anyway — only for it to end up wreaking all sorts of havoc…again.
It’s another message for another time about how some of us could stand to look within to see if wanting a fine man above all else is more about validating some deep-rooted insecurities that we have about our own looks (ouch). For now, I’ll just say that if your ego is out here telling you that looks and sexual performance should trump things like character and consistency, it is LYING to you. If you chose to heed the humble side of yourself, you would know that.
And this actually brings me to my next question.
How Stuck Are You in Your “Type”?
The reason why I wrote “According To Experts, We All Have A ‘Type’” back in the day is because it’s true — pretty much all of us have a type which is pretty much a preference; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that either. At the same time, I’m advising, from very up close and personal experience, that it’s a good idea to spend some time pondering “the origin story” of where your type came from.
Me? I’m always gonna be down for a very tall, hella chocolate, basketball (or soccer) build Black man. However, I’m a sexual abuse survivor and my molester looked a lot like that, so during the healing process of what he did to me, I had to factor in his influence. Plus, my first love also fits the physical mold and he definitely had quite an impact on my life. So…see what I mean? My type didn’t just come out of nowhere. Yes, sometimes your type may have some trauma or drama attached to it. And yes, that might be really uncomfortable to think about; still, that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Now my late fiancé? He was right at about 6’ and, complexion-wise, he was lighter than I am. He treated me better than most of the men of my past, though — and even though he definitely pursued me for a while to get me to consider us beyond being friends, because I took a risk outside of my type, I learned what it was like to be loved in a healthy way. And what that did for me was it taught me to remain open outside of my standard type. I still like a tall-ass Godiva man, chile (and don’t let him have a beard and be in a tailored suit!). I don’t limit myself to that package, though. To do so would be severely limiting — potentially tragic even.
How Healed Are You?
“Healed” is a word that comes up A LOT in the social media space. When it comes to relationships, specifically, it’s important to ask yourself if you are healed from your past because, if you aren’t, you very well could be reliving it over and over…and over again, whether you realize it (or choose to accept it) or not.
Just so that we’re all on the same page, the word “heal” means things like healthy, sound, and whole. Synonyms for the word include improve, restore, mend, soothe, and rehabilitate. Signs that you have healed from past hurts of a relationship (or a series of relationships) include you don’t think of them with anger or bitterness; you can see the silver linings from the experience; you’ve forgiven them for things that they did wrong (or that simply hurt you — and no, that’s not always one and the same), and you don’t pick (or avoid) other people to be in your life solely based on what someone else did to you.
What I mean by that last one is an unhealed woman may say something like, “I don’t want to do [such and such] for a first date. That’s what my ex liked to do.” The new guy isn’t him, so why does he have to be beholden to your past? Or, “I don’t trust men who won’t let me go through their phone. That’s how I found out my ex was cheating.” You know, for all of the women who like to play a non-animated form ofInspector Gadget (the real ones know), they sure don’t want their phones inspected as much as they like to do all of the inspecting. SMDH. Anyway, I don’t go through phones. For what? I don’t pay the bill and I’m not anyone’s parent. And so, your next guy not preferring it either? That doesn’t automatically mean that he’s up to no good — he may just want his boundaries respected. An unhealed person may not accept that. A healed one tends to, though.
And how can being unhealed play a direct role in you choosing the same guys over and over again? It’s weird because, sometimes you will go back to what’s familiar to you — because the new guy is such a risk, you’d prefer to “stick to the devil you know” than take a chance on someone who rolls very differently. It’s a cryptic way of remaining the common denominator in your dating dynamics. Oh, but it happens all of the time, chile.
What Makes a Man WRONG for You? Specifically?
Okay, with a lot of the inner work out of the way, how do you even come to the conclusion that someone (or several people) is wrong for you? Because you know what? Once you’ve done some real healing (and serious maturing), you can oftentimes find yourself accepting the fact that just because someone may not be right for you, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. No, not at all.
Although the word “wrong” can mean that something or someone isn’t morally right, wrong also means things like erroneous, not suitable or appropriate, not in accordance with certain requirements, or — and please catch it — out of order (which sometimes consists of the right thing happening at the wrong time). So, if it does seem like you keep choosing (because it is always a choice; that is also where accountability comes in) men who aren’t appropriate, aren’t in accordance with your needs or standards, or who aren’t what you need at the time — why is that? Is it rooted in fear? Impatience? Settling? What?
I have had enough clients go through this to know that it’s not good enough to be abstract about someone being “wrong” for you. You need to set aside one weekend, get some wine and a fresh journal, and really get into what wrong looks like. For instance, if you keep lowering your standards (which is the wrong thing to do, by definition), why is that? Because no matter how wrong the guy may ultimately turn out to be, what you have to be willing to accept is — again — you chose him. Why do you choose what’s wrong? Because, more times than not, some red (or at least orange) flags were waving long before the relationship came crashing down; oftentimes, they reveal themselves within the first couple of dates. You just chose to ignore them.
One more.
Do You Know a Good Man When You See One? You Sure?
As we close all of this out, when you get a chance, please check out “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?” Learning the difference between “to” and “for” took my own relational processing to an entirely new and freeing level. And you know what? Back to the healing point, another way to know that you’ve healed is you don’t generalize men. Meaning, that if you’re out here declaring that there aren’t any good ones, that’s not true; you’re just jaded (I mean, it’s the truth), and that head and energy space is affecting your judgment and perspective.
That said, if you’re constantly selecting the wrong men, ask yourself if you even know what a good man looks like (cue India.Arie’s “Good Man”). Again, by definition, good means things like morally excellent, right, kind, friendly, benevolent, educated, financially sound (not rich, stable and responsible…goodness), genuine, reliable, dependable, responsible, attractive, warm, intimate — satisfactory to the purpose (yes, that’s a literal definition).
For a man to be good for you, you need to know what purpose he is to serve at this particular point in your life because if, for example, all men seem to do, in your eyes, is use you for sex, why are you prioritizing sex over an emotional connection if the latter is the purpose that you seek right now? A lot of women can stop being the common denominator when it comes to choosing the wrong man if they 1) become the good that they seek and 2) do not betray the purpose behind why they even desire a relationship in the first place.
____
I know. When things aren’t going your way when it comes to matters of the heart, it can be easy to always say it’s the man’s fault. If there’s a pattern, though, please be a bit more self-reflective than that.
Once you do, you’d be amazed by how much about you shifts — to where the wrong guys can’t even get close to you, in the way that they used to, anymore.
Because you cease to be the “common denominator” you once were.
And how wonderful is that?
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