Pettiness, Moodiness & Other "Friendship Irritants" To Work Through
Man. This certainly brings new meaning to the "seven-year" itch. According to scientific research, guess how long most friendships, on average, last? Yep. Seven years. Why? Well, the article that I read said it's due to a few different factors—never having a formal ceremony to profess your platonic commitment (that might sound weird but I get it; it speaks to intention), lifestyle changes that can cause people to drift apart and other relationships coming along that eventually take a higher priority (like marriage, kids, etc.).
All of that makes sense, but when I think of why a lot of my friendships now have the word "former" in front of them, it's usually because 1) they didn't need to be friends of mine in the first place; 2) my and/or their friendship needs shifted and/or 3) I didn't know the difference between what I call "friendship irritants" and straight-up deal-breakers were at the time.
What I mean by that last one is this. It is true that, sometimes there are people who come into our lives, who get closer than they should, and receive more benefits than they ever deserve. Once we come to the realization that they are not good for us, it's time to release them and move on.
But sometimes, if a lot of us were honest with ourselves, some friendships tank simply because we don't exercise enough tolerance, patience and forgiveness. Because, let's be real—even the best friendships consist of two imperfect people who are gonna do all kinds of imperfect things; including to each other sometimes.
That's why it really is important to know the difference between a friend who is toxic and a friend who sometimes simply irritates you. If one (or some) of your friends is guilty of the following friend irritants, maybe these tips will help you to work through them, so that they don't have to be thrown into your every two-, five- or seven-year friendship rotation. So that they can last much longer than that.
Pettiness
Petty is one of those words that is used so much that I think it's important to go over what it actually means, just so we all can be sure if we truly do have a very petty friend or not. When someone is being petty, they are caught up in things that are "of little or no importance or consequence" or they are operating from a place of "having or showing narrow ideas, interests, etc." Whew. I don't know about you, but the first thing that comes to my mind, with both of these, are all of the petty exchanges that transpire across social media.
Anyway, if you were to apply these definitions to interactions in friendships, someone is truly petty if:
- They screenshot conversations and share them with others
- They are passive aggressive (aka sub-tweet a lot) on social media
- They like to be condescending or patronizing
- They continually dish what they can't take
- They hold grudges and seek revenge about things that aren't that big of a deal
Whew again. For the record, all of these might seem the opposite of "little or no importance or consequence" but the reason why I think they are spot-on with that definition of petty is because petty folk are kings and queens of making mountains out of molehills; something out of nothing. In other words, they cause drama out of stuff that, at the end of the day, isn't all that important. And, if they handled things differently, there would be far less fall out (consequences).
Anyway, on the surface, a petty individual might seem like a toxic person to be around. But I'd say that it all depends on how often a friend of yours displays this kind of behavior. If it's only when they're really upset or super stressed out, cut them a break. But if it's a pattern, I suggest bringing their pettiness to their attention, along with some clear examples (because petty people also typically have a bad memory and are never wrong). If they value the relationship, they'll tame their pettiness, even if it's just when it's around (or directly affects) you. If they don't, then it might be time to realign your boundaries. Because something else that people who are consistently petty do is drain the energy of those around them. If not immediately, eventually.
Moodiness
I don't know about you, but I've always been the kind of person who would prefer for someone to be pure evil all of the time than an angel on one day and Satan's cousin the next. Why? Because at least when you're always mean as a bat, I can come up with a way to deal with you. But if you're unpredictable, it's literally like being on a non-stop emotional roller coaster ride. One that gets sickening, after a while.
Although moody friends can be totally annoying in about every way imaginable, the reason why I don't recommend automatically cutting them off is, oftentimes, their mood swings are connected to underlying issues—hormonal imbalances, stress, problems that they're internalizing, sleeplessness, PTSD or Fantasia's version of "PTSD" (Post Traumatic SEX Disorder).
One of the traits of being a good friend is sympathy and, where it applies, empathy as well. If you've got a friend who seems to be any and everything but emotionally stable, set some time aside to treat them to dinner or to go to their house, look them in the face and ask what's up. Sometimes, just by you putting the (extra) effort in to show that you care, it can be the first step to getting your friend to a place of balance.
“One Upping”
Know-it-all friends. Oh, you know the type. Argumentative. Patronizing. Condescending. Prideful. Always got a series of hyperlinks to send you to back up their theories on something. Then, if you do prove them wrong, they find some way to minimize your hypothesis. They give advice but can't take it. They're always talking but can't ever seem to listen. They can easily point out your problems but are somehow never fully capable of resolving their own. These are the type of people who always seem to be in a weird form of competition with those around them. You just started a business but, instead of congratulating you, they spend 15 minutes talking about their own goals and plans. Your man just proposed and when you want to tell them about it, suddenly they decide to discuss the trip they are about to go on with some friends. Everything is about one-upping, whether they are self-aware enough to realize it or not.
Still, you don't want to toss the friendship away because they are mad loyal, always have your back and can be a lot of fun, more times than not. In this case, what do you do? Not too long ago, I penned a piece on here entitled "According To Aristotle, We Need 'Utility', 'Pleasure' & 'Good' Friends". Friends who think they know everything oftentimes can't handle an in-depth conversation about humility (which is something that they definitely need). So, maybe scale back a bit on some of the things you typically discuss with them. Also, take some time out to figure out what kind of friend they are. Maybe they're not meant to know a ton about your life. Maybe they are the friends you visit a winery with or pray with. Not every friend has to check every box. Accept that and life—and your friendships—will be so much easier for—and on—you.
Unsolicited Advice
An author by the name of Shannon A. Thompson once said something that I totally agree with—"Sometimes an outside perspective is the clearer perspective." If you're truly on the quest for wisdom, maturity and evolution, you will be open to receiving advice; especially from people whose consistency in your life has proven that they really do care about you.
But as someone who has a strong personality and gets paid to give advice, I have learned that when I'm having a conversation with a friend, they say something that seems crazy, counterproductive or I just don't agree with, before forcing my opinions and insights, I'll start off by saying, "Do you need me to listen or did you want me to say something?" If they go with Door B, sometimes I'll follow that up with, "OK. Do you want Shellie at 100 percent or watered down a bit?" It might sound funny, but you'd be amazed how much tension those two simple questions are able to alleviate.
If the thing that super duper gets on your nerves about a friend of yours is they have appointed themselves to be your personal sensei, it's OK to let them know that you are not always looking for a counselor, therapist or teacher; that when you need their advice, you will totally let them know—by asking for it.
Only ego maniacs will take offense with this kind of boundary. And, if that is the kind of friend you're dealing with, trust me, you've got a lot more challenges going on than the advice that they're constantly trying to force on you on your hands. Just sayin'.
Social Media TMI (or Passive Aggressiveness)
While recently watching an episode ofRighteous and Rachet (shout out the KevOnStage and DoBoy) on YouTube, they were interviewing a fellow comedian by the name of Akaash Singh. As they were chatting it up about how to pronounce words like "Pakistan" and "namaste" and what real Indian cuisine consists of (it really was an enlightening conversation), Kevin mentioned that he's got some friends who get in their feelings (my words, not his) because he, as he puts it at the 12:50 mark, doesn't like "the social media version" of them.
When you read that, didn't you have a friend who immediately came to mind? Maybe they are constantly telling ALL of their business, they seem to post 10-15 times a day, they are selfie addicts, they sub-tweet their man every chance that they get, or they always have something to complain or throw a pity party about.
If other than this, they are a stellar friend, I say do what Kev does. Although I'm not on social media, back when I was, I always saw my profile page to be MY page. So, when people came over to my side of cyberspace to try and "police" me, that really got on my nerves. Post and talk about what you want to on your page and I'll do the same thing on mine, thank you very much. Here's the thing about that—this is a rule that I shouldn't only enforce but respect. Meaning, just like I should be given the space to do and say whatever, so should the folks I interact with on social media sites.
That said, just because you and someone are friends in real life, that doesn't automatically mean that you have to be connected on social media.
I actually know some married people who don't follow each other; not because there's something to hide but since they also share so much of their lives together, they don't really want to see each other show up in one another's feeds.
So yeah, if the biggest issue you have in your friendship is that they get under your skin whenever they are online, "hide" their profile or unfollow them. If you think they are going to feel some type of way about it, give them the heads up. If y'all are true friends, it really shouldn't be all that deep. It really shouldn't. After all, you're not rejecting them. You're simply letting them be without you getting triggered or irritated in the process.
Inconsistent Communication
Here's a "friendship irritant" that is kind of subjective. I say that because, while you may think that friends should talk once a week, you might have a friend who believes that you damn near should be on-call 24 hours a day. In my world, I have friends who I talk to, pretty much on a daily basis. It's not because we're on our phones, though. It's because I write for a living and they are online doing branding stuff, promoting a gig or something along those lines. So yeah, it's nothing for us to shoot a few emails back in forth. Then I've got friends who are not the biggest fans of being online or talking on the phone. For us to stay connected, we have to literally plan out times to connect and catch up.
Before I figured out that that was how some of my friends are, I would get irritated when I felt like I was doing most of the calling or putting in the most proactive energy to make the relationship work. But once I stopped pouting about it and brought it up to them, the effort has had more of a balance to it.
No one person should do all of the work to make a friendship last. If you're currently irritated because you feel like that person is you, before you assume that you are being neglected or taken for granted, talk that over with your friend. If they are a good friend, I can promise you that 1) you come to their mind more than you think and 2) now that they are aware that your communication needs are different, they will figure out how both of you can be happy. Again, if they are a good friend, they will do this.
Incompatible Expectations
Me? I'm the one who likes my friends to keep their word. My friends, though? One of them hates—and I mean hates—for you to not show up somewhere on time. Another one feels some type of way if I don't set aside quality time for her. One of my male friends just wants his birthday to be remembered and commemorated, on time. Another friend is big on words of affirmation.
The reason why I know all of this is because I've made the time to study my friends and ask them what they expect from our relationship. Personally, out of all of the things that I shared, I think this point might be the cause of the most irritation in a lot of friendships. The root of this one is either one friend not knowing what the other expects or assuming that a friend should have the same expectations that they do.
I'll give you an example of how this can cause things to go awry. I've got a friend who is pretty sketchy when it comes to her phone. What I mean by that is sometimes it's on, sometimes it's off. Sometimes she brings it to work, sometimes she doesn't. Meanwhile, she's got a friend who is, let's say "hyper-vigilant", when it comes to communication. Because my friend is very "blah" about her cell, it causes her friend to feel as if she is being flippant or dismissive. Then, by the time her friend is able to track my friend down, she comes off as needy or high-maintenance, which totally puts my friend off. Her friend is a good friend, though, so she doesn't want to cut her off, even though this has been a lasting issue that gets on her very last nerve.
From what she's shared with me about the quality of their relationship, she shouldn't let her friend go. But there does need to be an open dialogue about what's going on. Then both of them need to come to a point and place of compromise. That's what friendship is all about. Not necessary getting all of what you expect but finding a way to get what you need while providing what your friend needs too; even if they are not one in the same.
It takes real maturity to want to work through "friend irritants" but if someone means a lot to you, it's worth it. What they bring to your life is of far more value then the nerve that they get on. When it comes to friendship preservation, it's words to live by, y'all. It really and truly is.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
The 5 Must-Have Friends Everyone Needs
10 Signs You've Got A Close (TOXIC) Friend
Allow These Things To Happen Before Calling Someone "Friend"
10 Things You Should Absolutely Expect From Your Friendships
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- 10 Signs You've Got A Close (TOXIC) Friend - xoNecole ›
- How To Heal From A Broken Friendship - xoNecole ›
- The Truth About Maintaining Friendships As An Adult - xoNecole ›
- How To Maintain Your Mental Health & Sustain Healthy Friendships At The Same Time - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Coping With An Overly Argumentative Partner - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- 5 Rules For Having Friends With Benefits Relationship - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Frenemies & toxic friendships: teenagers | Raising Children Network ›
- Why Work Friendships Go Awry, and How to Prevent It ›
- Friendship and mental health| Mental Health Foundation ›
- Why work friendships are critical for long-term happiness ›
- What You Haven't Considered About The Dark Side Of Friendships ... ›
- 5 Ground Rules for Workplace Friendships ›
- The Care and Maintenance of Friendship ›
- Friendship difficulties - Psych4Schools ›
- How to Solve Common Friendship Problems | The Healthy ›
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Your May 2024 Horoscopes Are All About Setting Intentions, Focus, And Self-Discovery
Explore your sign’s 2024 horoscope predictions to learn what is in store for you this year in love, career, and more. Check out the love compatibility of each sign to learn more about zodiac pairings and all things compatibility.
May is a month of intention and about focusing on what you are creating in your life right now. Eclipse Season is over for the time being; Mercury is direct again, yet there are still more opportunities for breakthrough and self-discovery. The month begins with Pluto going retrograde in Aquarius on May 2, signifying the need to reclaim your power right now. Pluto will be retrograde until October 11, and this is a good time to experience a renewal within your belief systems, friendships, and community. After a time of change and regrouping, May is a time to create a new path for yourself and feel more secure in doing so.
Taurus Season is in full bloom, and on May 7 the Moon will be joining the Sun for the New Moon in Taurus. This New Moon is an opportunity for luxury, self-care, stability, and harmony.
When the Moon is in Taurus, we are guided towards taking care of ourselves more, and this is a good time to set your intentions for where you want to experience more ease, love, and TLC in life. This New Moon will be a powerful time for manifestation, so make sure you are focused on what you want to create in your life right now. Mercury then moves out of Aries and into Taurus on May 15th, and perspectives move into the energy of more logic, patience, and practicality.
Mercury in Taurus brings the focus to your finances as well, and this is a good time to ask for a raise or promotion, take care of finances, or build your assets.
What May 2024 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
Gemini Season makes its debut on May 20 this year, and the Sun moving into these air signs makes the energy a little lighter and playful, and by the end of the month, people are looking to have some more fun. With a Full Moon in Sagittarius happening a few days later on May 23, the end of May is an exciting, eye-opening, and adventurous time. The Sagittarius Full Moon is the Flower Moon of the Year, and it’s time you receive yours.
Venus moves into Gemini on May 23 as well, and during this time, relationship matters can feel a little more all over the place. However, this is also a more social, charming, and dynamic time for love as well. While Venus is in Gemini, remember that communication is key, and a more open-minded and flexible approach to matters of the heart is needed.
One of the most important transits of the year happens as May comes to an end, and that is Jupiter's move into Gemini. Jupiter has been in Taurus for the past year, helping us grow and get the full picture when it comes to your stability, relationships, and finances, and Jupiter's move into Gemini brings things into focus when it comes to your self-expression, communication, connections, and joy in life.
Jupiter will be in Gemini from May 25, 2024, to June 9, 2025, and this is the perfect opportunity to connect with your creative genius and meet new people with whom you resonate. May, overall, has a lot of potential for opportunity, insight, and collaboration, and this is the perfect month to set your intentions for the future while also living in the moment with the people you love and who inspire you.
Read for your sun sign and rising sign below to see what May 2024 has in store for you.
ARIES
May is a coming-together month for you, and things are starting to make more sense after Mercury retrograde in your sign for most of last month. You are getting more time within your relationships and close partnerships right now, and the New Moon on May 7, happening in your 2nd house, is when this connection, love, and stability begin to come in for you. You have been asking yourself the important questions and are ready to break ground and create the new beginnings you see for yourself.
With Mars in your sign for the entire month of May, you have a lot of energy and passion at your disposal right now, and you are making things happen for yourself. This is a good time for feeling connected to your body and for seeing positive results regarding your health. Jupiter moves into your house of communication at the end of the month where it will be for the next year, and you are moving into a time of more grace, understanding, and opportunity for self-expression right now, Aries - own your voice.
TAURUS
The Sun is in your sign, and you are shining authentically in who you are, Taurus. May is a beautiful month for growth and a time when you are finding your balance between letting go of the past and remaining true to yourself in the present. The New Moon of the month is happening in your sign on May 7, signifying a time of new beginnings for you and when it comes to your goals in life and your sense of freedom.
Be confident in your desires, and know yourself, Taurus. With all the manifestations that are coming forth for you this month, clarity is one of them.
Mercury enters your sign on May 15, and this is a time of positive communication, connection, and gaining some new wisdom. With Mercury in your sign, be prepared for some extra communication on your hands as people are looking to hear your perspective. Jupiter moves out of your sign and enters Aries on May 25 after being in Taurus for the past year, and the luck you have been experiencing in life transfers to your finances, income, and value systems. Overall, you are finding your way and making sense of it all this month.
GEMINI
May is a time of rebirth for you, Gemini. You are in a good head space this month now that your ruling planet, Mercury, is officially out of retrograde and direct again. This is a powerful month for you when things are turning around for you and some extra good karma and luck are coming your way. With the Sun in your 12th house for most of May, you are getting an opportunity to renew and heal from the past and to gain some new understanding of where you have been in life and what you want to create moving forward.
Gemini Season begins on May 20, and it’s your time to shine! Gemini Season this year is a month full of opportunity and clarity, and you are bringing your best self forward. There is a Full Moon on May 23 in your opposite sign, Sagittarius, and love matters are coming full circle for you now so that you can let go of old belief systems that don’t serve you or your relationships anymore. Your most important astrological transit of 2024 happens at the end of the month on May 25, as Jupiter enters your sign for the next year. Jupiter in your sign signifies good luck, fortune, and personal success in your future.
CANCER
This month is about finding your balance, manifesting, and working together with others, Cancer. It’s about choosing peace and trusting your intuition right now to guide you forward. The Sun is in your 11th house in May, and you are thinking of the big picture and not letting anything get in the way of your vision or purpose. There is a New Moon at the start of the month in this area of your chart, and your power of manifestation is especially strong this month, so make sure you are following your true North and setting the intentions that feel right for you internally.
On May 23, Venus enters your 12th house of endings and closure, and love is about moving on and moving into more healing and emotionally receptive experiences. Relationship matters are moving through a transformation now, and you are learning a lot through your partnerships, both old and new, this month. There is a Full Moon on May 23 as well, and this Full Moon will be bringing up old work, projects, and intentions; it’s time to congratulate yourself for your successes and how far you come, as others will want to support you more right now as well.
LEO
Over the next month, you are getting the opportunity to stand your ground, speak up for yourself, and claim your space, Leo. This month is about being your biggest cheerleader and seeing yourself in the way you wish others to see you. The Sun is in your 10th house for most of May, and you are focused on taking action and going after your dreams right now. The New Moon on May 7 is a good time to set your intentions for said goals and dreams and to really believe in yourself.
On May 23, there is a Full Moon in fellow fire sign Sagittarius, happening in an area of your chart that has to do with your happiness, romance, creative self-expression, and overall joy for life. You are getting the full picture of where your priorities are or need to be, and are bringing more attention to the things that are going to truly make you happy and fulfilled at the end of the day. Jupiter enters Gemini on the same day where it will remain until 2025, and this move is expanding things for you when it comes to your friendships, community, and social networks.
VIRGO
May is a month of connecting with your soul and creating harmony in your life, Virgo. You are moving into a time of greater freedom and authenticity, and May is a good month for travel for you. With a New Moon in Taurus at the beginning of the month, you are expanding your horizons and gaining some much-needed inspiration. This is the time to do things differently and to not be afraid to take risks, and a leap of faith in yourself. You are feeling a little more optimistic in May, and this is creating an opening in your life.
On May 23, we have a Full Moon in your 4th house of home and family, and this is a good time for experiencing closure in this area of your life, and like things are coming full circle for you here. The first half of the month is all about adventure, and the second half of May, you are looking to build in your stability. Jupiter moves into your 10th house of career and success before the month ends, and you enter a year-long transit that will be positively influencing and expanding your reputation and goals in life.
LIBRA
May is an opportunity to learn, inspire, and spend some more time with the people who bring this energy out of you, Libra. The month begins with Pluto going retrograde in your 5th house of love, and you need some more time to grasp what is going on in your heart and how you can find your power in life here more. There is a lot to learn and discover this month, and the New Moon on May 7 will be an eye-opening and transformative moment for you where you can dive deep into your love life and commitments and see where a new beginning may be necessary.
There is a Full Moon happening later in the month and this Full Moon will be bringing forth spiritual guidance into your life. This is a Full Moon to connect, communicate, and share your insights and ideas with others. On May 25, Jupiter enters Gemini and moves into your 9th house of adventure, and you are entering a year of travel, enlightenment, spirituality, and higher education. Your mind is your gift right now; trust you have everything you need to experience greatness and be open to meeting new people who will help you get there.
SCORPIO
This month is about remaining open and receptive to what is possible for you and your future, Scorpio. You are in a good space to receive your due blessings and rewards, but your heart must be open to receive them. Your ruling planet, Pluto, goes retrograde at the start of the month on May 2, and this Pluto retro transit will allow you to rebuild your vision for the home, and help you figure out where you can bring more of yourself into your surroundings.
A lot of the energy of the month is in your opposite sign, Taurus, meaning it’s in your love and partnership zones.
May is one of the most significant months of love for you out of the year, and the intentions you set for your relationships on the New Moon this month will be creating magic in your love life for the rest of the year. On May 23, there is a Full Moon in the sign just after yours, bringing attention to your finances, income, and self-confidence in it all. The end of May is a time to focus a little more on your stability in life and to take a look at your finances. This is a good time to clean your purse or wallet, create some feng shui, and go over your assets.
SAGITTARIUS
Your guidance for the month is to go with the flow and trust your instincts, Sagittarius. The New Moon happening on the 7th is a new door opening for you, your health, and your daily routine, and you are focused on what is going to be best for you and your well-being overall. You are trusting your next steps ahead and remaining grounded with where things are in the meantime. It’s all about trust right now and how much of it you can have for yourself.
The Full Moon of the month will be in your sign on May 23rd, and this is a powerful Full Moon for you of closure, clarity, and self-confidence. You are letting go of what doesn’t resonate with who you are now and what you want to expand in your life. This is a good time to say your affirmations, meditate, and get out of your own head. Before the month ends, your ruling planet, Jupiter, enters your opposite sign, Gemini, and your love life gets an extra boost of good luck right now. Jupiter will be in your 7th house of partnership until 2025, and you are entering a year of harmony, Sagittarius.
CAPRICORN
Abundance is your birthright, and you are tapping into this energy this month, Capricorn. May is a month full of opportunities for you, and a lot of this good juju is coming through for you romantically right now. The Sun is in your 5th house of the heart for most of the month, and there is a New Moon here on May 7 as well.
At the beginning of May, make sure you are focused on communicating clearly, owning your passions in life, and having some more fun with love and the romance that wants to bloom for you here.
With Mercury entering your 5th house on May 15 as well, you could be receiving a surprise message or be having some interesting conversations right now that switch things up for you in love. On May 25, Jupiter moves into an area of your chart having to do with your health, lifestyle, and work life, and you are overall going to be coming into balance more here and experiencing some fortunate opportunities at work and within your daily routine. Overall, May is a month that is setting you up for success, Capricorn.
AQUARIUS
May is an opportunity for you to connect, move forward, and learn more about yourself and your heart, Aquarius. You are paying attention to the signs right now and making sense of things that may have gone past you before. With Pluto going retrograde in your sign as the month begins on May 2, you are someone who will be moving through a journey of self-discovery for the rest of the year and will be figuring out where your true power is in life and how to hone in on it more.
The New Moon in Taurus on May 7 is a new beginning for you and your home life, and a lot of this month will be about finding those people and spaces that feel like home to you and that make you feel supported in who you are. Jupiter enters a fellow air sign on May 25, and Jupiter in Gemini brings in a year ahead of romance, creativity, confidence, and finding your joy. Things are shifting big time in your life right now, but you are figuring out what works for you and what doesn’t.
PISCES
It's time to protect your energy and create boundaries where needed, Pisces. May is a month of checking in with yourself and emotionally regulating before moving forward. Pluto goes retrograde at the start of the month and will be retrograde in your 12th house of closure, secrets, and healing until October. What this means for you is a chance at clarity of the heart, but this transit can also bring up old issues or power struggles of the past. Remember to learn from past experiences and decide for yourself today how you want things to go for you from here.
There is a Full Moon in Sagittarius on May 23, and being a mutable sign like Sagittarius, you can tap into the potential of this Full Moon effectively. This is the time to turn a page within your career or professional world and see some resolution here. Before the month ends Jupiter enters your house of home, family, and history, and you are going to be opening your mind on these matters over the next year. You could be expanding the home, moving, or experiencing a deep sense of healing here now.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole