Your Monthly Horoscopes For November Are All About Reconnecting With Your Inner-Self
Most of the energy this month is activated in Scorpio and Sagittarius—two very different zodiac signs but surprisingly symbiotic. The first part of November has us exploring our feels with the Sun and Mercury transiting through the intense water sign often known for being secretive, moody, and even vengeful.
Introspection is encouraged to help you pinpoint the root of any emotional triggers to transform the pain of old grievances. Moving into the latter part of the month, the energy lightens up as we get into Sagittarius season, motivating us to embrace the wisdom gained from our most trying moments and to continue to be a light in the world.
Check out your horoscope below to see what November has in store for you!
Aries
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
November begins with Venus lightening up matters of the heart on the 1st. Fortune favors the bold so don't be afraid to shoot your shot. The Full Moon on the 12th helps you get clear about your worth, making this an opportune time to revise or end any contracts that aren't meeting your expectations. On the 19th, Mars moves into Scorpio encouraging you to find healthy ways to express your anger before it gets the best of you. Mercury goes direct on the 20th which helps you find the right words to express those unprocessed emotions that have been steaming beneath the surface.
On the 22nd, Sagittarius season begins, making you feel more rejuvenated than you have been in the past few months. This is a great time to get your ideas out there along with any educational or written work you want to share. Venus moves into Capricorn on the 26th and love matters get more serious. Career progression is also likely under this influence that is helping you attract more long-term wealth and success. November ends on a high note with a New Moon inviting you to satisfy your wanderlust, get passionate about your spiritual practice, and maybe even share your gems of wisdom with people that could use some motivation.
Taurus
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The month begins with you focused on gaining a deeper understanding about how you aren't living out your own personal truth which could involve a therapy session or some personal analysis. When it comes to love, you're attracting more inquisitive, "Can I pick your brain?" types that may be a catalyst for you to fully express who you know yourself to be. On the 12th, the Full Moon in your sign marks the big reveal. It's time to show the world what you're made of! Around the 19th, much of your energy shifts to relationships. Be mindful of passive-aggressive tendencies towards your significant other or business connections while Mars transits through Scorpio. Mercury goes direct on the 20th, helping you get in control of your communication and work out any kinks in your close connections.
Sagittarius season officially begins on the 22nd and you're feeling all the more empowered and optimistic about life—the good and especially the bad. Sometimes we have to learn our lessons the hard way and you're open to embracing the past for all that it taught you. On the 25th, Venus moves into Capricorn, attracting travel and even teaching opportunities that allow you to share your wealth of knowledge. The month comes to a close with a New Moon on the 27th, giving you that fresh start that you've been waiting for along with a new lease on life.
Gemini
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
November begins with your attention shifting to relationships and contracts for the majority of the month. With Venus transiting through Sagittarius, it's time to shake up the energy and invite a little more excitement into these areas of your life. On the 12th, the Full Moon in Taurus enhances your intuition and dream world. A longstanding lesson or cycle you've been going through will likely come to completion if you're open to surrendering the outdated for something much better. Mars amps up your energy (and libido), while it transits through Scorpio. This is a good time to get back into the gym or burn off some stress in the bedroom. Whether you're booed up or happily single, prioritizing more pleasure in your daily routine will be beneficial.
On the 20th, Mercury goes direct helping you smooth out any difficulties within the workplace and finally getting your plans back on track. The Sun moves into wild and free Sagittarius on the 22nd. If your relationship feels stale, this is a good time to plan an adventure with bae to shake things up. On the 25th, Venus moves into Capricorn and love matters get hella serious all of a sudden. You may find yourself deepening an existing connection during the next few weeks. Conversations about sharing finances and resources are likely during this time. The month comes to an end with a bold New Moon on the 26th, inviting a more solid relationship or business agreement into the forefront.
Cancer
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The month begins with love and money on the brain with Venus beginning her transit through Sagittarius on the 1st. A workplace romance may invite some much-needed adventure into your life or even an opportunity to travel on behalf of your employer. The Full Moon on the 12th reveals the true intentions of those in your social circle and may have you reassessing whether some of your connections hold the same weight that they used to. On the 19th, Mars moves into Scorpio, heating up romance and enhancing your creative energy. Remember that playtime isn't just for kids. It's time to prioritize more fun in your life!
After spending a few weeks in retrograde, Mercury goes direct, making this a great time to reveal that project you've been working on behind the scenes. Family planning is also favored at this time. The Sun moves into Sagittarius on the 22nd, bringing your focus to health and wellness. Get back in the gym, try that detox, and don't forget to schedule your annual medical screening. On the 25th, Venus moves into Capricorn and you're getting serious about a commitment. Proposals and wedding bells are in the air. If love matters are kinda dry, this transit could result in a solid business contract or new job coming in for you. November winds down with a New Moon, inviting you to prioritize more of what (and who) you love.
Leo
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
November begins with Venus bringing the heat to matters of romance, fertility, and creativity. Mix all three together and you may have a bun in the oven before the year is over. On the 12th, the Full Moon highlights a professional achievement possibly resulting in a promotion. If you feel like your current career path isn't doing it for you, this could be a time to explore other options. Mars moves into Scorpio on the 19th, giving you the energy you need to get your living arrangements in order for the hibernation season ahead. Some of you may be planning to relocate or renovate your current space. With holiday season approaching, do your best to avoid family drama.
Mercury goes direct on the 20th, helping you to reel it in just before Thanksgiving so you don't drag everyone for filth at the dinner table. On the 22nd, Sagittarius season officially begins which brings your focus to adventure and play. It's time to tend to the desires of your inner-child or spend a little extra time with your own kids to bring more joy into your life. Venus makes her way into Capricorn on the 25th, encouraging you to buckle down and get more organized in the workspace. If you're open to love, you may be attracting someone in a position of authority at the office. The month comes to a close with a vibrant New Moon, inspiring you to dive into that creative project or express yourself more authentically in the world. It's time to let your radiant soul shine brighter than ever before.
Virgo
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The month begins with Venus moving into Sagittarius on the 1st, making family and home your safe haven. Beautifying your living space for the holidays is favored at this time. On the 12th, the Full Moon is a perfect time to reveal a written or educational project you've been working on behind the scenes. You could also be placed in a position to share your wisdom with those seeking guidance. Mars moves into Scorpio on the 19th, inviting you to find healthy ways to express your anger and any other unresolved emotions brooding beneath the surface. Mercury goes direct the next day, helping you to avoid "foot in the mouth" syndrome as you begin to find your voice to communicate some of your deepest feels.
Sagittarius season officially begins on the 22nd, gifting you with the holiday spirit. There's a lot going on at home during this transit as you get your space ready for entertaining family and friends. On the 25th, Venus moves into Capricorn and you're ready to get serious with someone you've been casually dating. You're also extremely magnetic for financial opportunities that allow you to share your creative side. The month comes to a close with an inspirational New Moon, encouraging you to drop the mask and start showing up as the real you amongst your family. It's up to you to create a new generational cycle that values authenticity and leadership—not just blending in with the crowd.
Libra
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The month begins with your ruling planet, Venus, helping you attract good fortune and opportunities that allow you to utilize what you've been learning about—whether formally or informally. It's time to put those public speaking, writing, or social media skills to use. If you're open to love, online dating may work in your favor better than usual. On the 12th, the Full Moon liberates you from a hauntingly painful experience that damaged your self-esteem. When it comes finances, you're making a big payoff towards any debt you've incurred.
Feisty Mars moves into Scorpio on the 19th, pushing you to get your money matters in order. Reassess your financial beliefs and practices to overcome hurdles in this area. Mercury goes direct on the 20th, granting you the clarity needed to establish a plan of action towards greater material abundance. On the 22nd, Sagittarius season officially begins and you're in the mood to mingle at the upcoming holiday parties. Venus moves into Capricorn on the 25th, making you the center of attention amongst your family and the perfect host for gatherings at your home. November comes to an exciting close with a New Moon, reminding you to stop with all of the people-pleasing and start owning your truth (whether others like it or not).
Scorpio
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
Your birthday season begins with Venus blessing your finances and self-esteem. This is a perfect time to reassess if you love how you're making money and what financial freedom looks like for you. The Full Moon on the 12th can signify a revelation about a key relationship or business contract that needs some recalibrating or a final ending. On the 19th, Mars moves into your sign, making you a lot more energetic, and moodier, than usual. Find healthy ways to express your anger during this transit. Mercury goes direct the next day, offering you some relief from the muddled thoughts and feelings you've experienced over the past few weeks.
Sagittarius season officially begins on the 22nd, making you more consciously aware of your spending habits. It may be time to reel it in regardless of it being holiday season. You don't have to break the bank to show someone that you care. On the 25th, Venus moves into Capricorn, helping you wield the power of communication and social media. Investing in an online course or school will yield positive results that are preparing you for the opportunities that lie ahead. The month ends on a high note with a New Moon, gifting you some extra income through a new job or hustle. Stop sleeping on your talents and get in your bag!
Sagittarius
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
November begins with Venus moving into your sign, making you even more attractive than usual. Good fortune abounds when the planet of love and money is transiting your sign. The Full Moon on the 12th may mark an ending in the workplace due to a transition into a new role, department, or company. Matters of health and wellness are also highlighted at this time as you're encouraged to resolve some habits that just don't benefit you. On the 19th, Mars moves into Scorpio, making you a lot more likely to pop off. Be mindful of projecting or clinging to unresolved emotions that are subconsciously affecting the way you express anger. Mercury extends its support when it goes direct on the 20th, helping you get clear about the root of your frustrations. Your dreams will provide even deeper insight that can help you let go of lingering resentment towards a person or situation.
Your birthday season officially begins on the 22nd and all eyes are on you. Reinvent yourself. Switch up your hairstyle. Invest in a new wardrobe. It's time to reintroduce the new and improved version of yourself to the world. On the 25th, Venus moves into Capricorn, aligning you with financial support and opportunities that get you paid for doing what you love. If you're open to romance, a more serious prospect may come into the picture. The month ends on a high note with your New Moon, inviting you to set some intentions concerning what you'd like to experience in the year ahead.
Capricorn
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The month begins with Venus moving into the part of your sky that activates your subconscious and karma. Take some time to reflect on any beliefs or habits that restrict your financial flow and even your ability to receive the love you truly deserve. On the 12th, the Full Moon helps you see through any illusions about someone you've been casually dating. Once Venus moves into your sign later this month, you'll be more interested in taking things to the next level or putting your current prospect on the chopping block. Romance not a priority? Use this energy to wrap up that project to prepare for the big reveal.
On the 19th, Mars moves into Scorpio and much of your energy is exerted towards networking with like-minded folks. This transit can make you more short-tempered than usual, so be patient with your social circle. If you need time alone, communicate this without snapping on anyone. Mercury going direct on the 20th will help you express yourself from a more vulnerable, compassionate space. Sagittarius season officially begins on the 22nd, encouraging you to reflect about the past year while the optimistic New Moon on the 26th invites you to surrender your expectations and trust your vision.
Aquarius
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
On the 1st, Venus moves into the part of your sky that has to do with your social circle and long-term vision for your life. Use this time to re-examine if you're in alignment with your tribe or whether you're just going through the motions with a group just because there's "history". You'll know you're around the right people when the Universe starts opening up to you with new, exciting opportunities for expansion. The Full Moon on the 12th enhances your psychic abilities and dream world, granting you with clarity about the legacy you're building.
On the 19th, Mars moves into Scorpio, making you hyper-focused on your career advancement. Be mindful of power struggles with authority figures around this time. Mercury direct is here to back you up on the 20th reminding you that "it's not what you say but how you say it." The Sun moves into Sagittarius on the 22nd, encouraging you to gather with your friends to take your mind off of the stress. On the 25th, Venus moves into Capricorn helping you attract love and financial support from someone in a position of power. November ends on a high note with a New Moon on the 26th, inviting you to collaborate with those kindred souls destined to assist you in turning your vision into a reality.
Pisces
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
November begins with Venus helping you attract good fortune and admiration in your career endeavors. On the 12th, the Full Moon places the spotlight on your social media and personal brand. People want to hear what you have to say! This is a favorable time to complete that project or educational course you've been working on. Mars, the warrior, moves into Scorpio on the 19th, encouraging you to dive deep into a topic of interest or to share your expertise with others. After spending a few weeks in retrograde, Mercury goes direct on the 20th. It's time to reveal that new blog or book you've been toiling away at. Any travel plans you're making around this time get a bit easier as well.
Sagittarius season officially begins on the 22nd and you're making quite the impression on your manager or an influential person. Developing your leadership abilities is recommended if you want to be more successful in the professional world. On the 25th, Venus moves into Capricorn. Your vibe attracts your tribe. Don't like the people you're surrounded by? Well, change it by recognizing what inner-transformation needs to take place. The month ends on a high note with a New Moon, gifting you with a promotion or recognition for a well-earned achievement.
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This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
How To Support Your Friend Who's Going Through A Divorce
You know, life is a funny thing. Back in 2018, when I wrote “I'm Not A Fan Of My BFF's Man - This Is How I Make Our Friendship Work,” although I’m not gonna sit up here and act like I didn’t see signs that divorce could possibly be in her future, it wasn’t like I was hoping for it.
I’m a child of divorce myself, and so, no matter how common it is in our culture, I am aware of the pain that divorce can cause and the damage that it can do. And yet, fast forward to 2024, and here we are — my friend who once had a husband who was more triggering than almost any human I know (what’s wild is damn near everyone in her life has cosigned on that since she’s separated from him), he is now, officially, her former husband… And boy has getting to that point and place with her been a complete roller coaster ride.
You know, when you sign up to be someone’s friend, one thing that comes with that is being supportive. However, that word has so many nuances and layers to it these days that I think it’s important to really unpack what that actually means (check out “What A Supportive Friend Actually Does (It's Not Quite What You Think)”). Although a lot of people’s egos want to believe that support means being told what you want to hear, clapping for decisions even when they are poor ones, or having people have your back to the extent of them breaking their own — that isn’t the case. Not by a long shot.
True support is about being willing to help someone hold their own selves up; it’s about providing encouragement, comfort, and providing assistance in a way that will actually help (help, not coddle) them. And when that support is needed during something as life-altering as a divorce, that can require a lot of prayer, compassion, and forethought…on the person’s support system’s part.
And so, as someone who just recently went through all of this with an individual who is quite dear to me — and also since I’m very aware of the fact that with the divorce rate being as high as it is, most of you will have to experience something similar sooner than later — I wanted to offer up some tips on how you can, yes, support your friend during their time of transition while keeping your sanity, standards and the friendship intact in the process.
(Try to) Put Yourself in Their Shoes
GiphyEmpathy. If anything is on the endangered species list when it comes to relationships these days, this would have to be it. A very basic definition of empathy is having the ability to not just understand but share in how someone feels when they are going through something. This basically means that, by being truly empathetic, you are able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes — or at least, you are intentional about trying to.
When it comes to something like a divorce, because no two marriages are exactly the same, of course, you can’t know exactly what someone else is going through. However, if you’re trying to support a friend who is experiencing one, the key is to imagine how you would feel if your marriage was falling apart. What kind of emotional support would you long for? How would you prefer to be spoken to? Would you want to hear a ton of “I told you so” statements, or would you prefer more questions like, “What can I do to help you get through this?”
Actor Sterling K. Brown once said, “Empathy begins with understanding life from another person's perspective. Nobody has an objective experience of reality. It's all through our own individual prisms.” Personally, I think there is a lot of truth in those words because, when you choose to try to see things as another sees them, it creates a safer space for them to trust you and for you to be a softer place to land — right when they need it the most.
Draw Firm Boundaries
Giphyhe very day that my friend was officially divorced, she did something that was beyond cyclic, toxic, and counterproductive — on a billion different levels. It honestly had me so baffled that I found myself getting angry because, after years of her talking about how her ex has treated her, why in the world would she tolerate him in the way that she did (I’m leaving details out by design)?! I mean, it had me so heated that I found myself needing to “take off” a few days, communication-wise (when it comes to talking to her) — and that’s how I knew that I was more emotionally invested than I needed to be and it was time to put some boundaries in place…yes, even when it came to our friendship.
When you love someone, it can be very easy to involve and invest yourself in things as if it is your problem when it absolutely isn’t. So, how can you keep yourself in check? Learn the difference between who you are responsible for vs. who you are responsible to.
Me? I adore my friend, I absolutely do. At the same time, she is not my spouse or my child and those would be the only individuals who I would actually be responsible for. So yeah, when I need a break from hearing the cycle, it’s okay to say that. When I find myself getting more upset over her stuff than she seems to be, it’s okay to put limits in place.
And if I need to accept that she’s not me, which means that she’s going to do things differently, it’s okay to not emotionally invest in her situation quite so much — because it would be a damn shame to lose a friend all because the boundaries (or lack thereof) in their life have caused you not to have any in yours…and that has ultimately resulted in bitterness, resentment and/or a total emotional disconnect when it comes to your friendship. Yeah, breaking up with a friend because of how her divorce is going really isn’t worth it.
Be Their Friend. Not Their Therapist.
GiphySpeaking of boundaries, chile, so long as I’m out here coaching couples, this tip right here will probably always be the “thorn in my flesh” that helps to keep me in check — ‘cause y’all, when you’re trying to help a friend through a challenging time, and folks actually pay you to coach or counsel them, it can be really challenging to “get off of the clock” when your friend isn’t also a client. Oh, but it’s a wise thing to do, believe you me.
Case in point: As much as my friend’s former husband irks the entire mess outta me, if there’s one thing that I will forever vouch for him on, it’s the fact that he is hella consistent. And so, when he recently pulled a bona fide “this man right here” (I really want to use the dirty cuss words to illustrate my point and yet, I digress) stunt, although I wasn’t shocked, I was disgusted. However, to be honest, my friend plays a very direct role in “feeding the monster” when it comes to not setting healthy boundaries with him…and that is largely what causes him to do some pretty bold and semi-crazy things.
Anyway, when she shared with me what happened, the first thing I asked her was, “Did you just want me to know, or do you want me to say something?” (more on that in the next tip). My follow-up was, “Have you told your therapist yet?” and boy, was that a freeing question to ask because she’s not paying me to give her insight (let’s start there, chile) and two, because I’m not her therapist, that frees me up from having to invest in the way that a therapist (or life coach) would. Sometimes, I really can just be a listening ear — no more and no less. Sometimes, by accepting that, everyone ends up being less stressed out.
Watch What You Say. Then When You Say It.
GiphyOkay so, for the past 12 years or so (at least), almost all of my friends know that whenever they tell me something that’s totally off-the-chain, I’m gonna be good for asking, “Now, do you want me to be 100 percent Shellie or would you prefer for me to water it down?” I do this because I am a straight-no-chaser, for sure, and while most of the people in my world say that it is something that they appreciate about me, as the old saying goes, “Timing is everything.” Sometimes, what they can hear on one day isn’t what they can handle on another. Why? Because when a friend is going through something like a divorce, they are processing a lot, and that can cause them to be happy at noon on Monday and totally pissed by dinnertime on that same Monday.
And what this means for you is if you say, “Girl, I don’t know why you chose that man in the first place” at noon, she might laugh along while, if you say that very same thing at 6 p.m., here comes the waterworks or personal offenses. Yeah, if there is a silver lining, for you personally, when you’re helping a friend go through a divorce, it’s that you get an accelerated class in learning to read people better, how to use tact even more, and how to master timing in a way that you may have never done before — and those are valuable life lessons, across the board.
Also, Watch Them on the Roller Coaster. Don’t Get on It.
GiphyOne time, when someone in my family was talking about the cyclic drama of another relative, how they said that they chose to deal with it is something that has always stayed with me (and they stated it damn near 20 years ago): “I don’t get on the roller coaster ride. I simply watch them ride it and then dab their brow whenever they choose to get off.” The fun fact here is I told a friend about the convo, and even he was like “dope.” As a result, he put his own spin to it and, in walked India.Arie’s song “Roller Coaster.”
Roller coasters, chile. It can have you all over the place, and if you aren’t prepared for that reality, all of the unexpected shifts and dips can make you sick — on rides and in relationships. And so, on the heels of what I just said about watching your mouth and the timing of your words, it’s important to take these pearls of wisdom to heart, too.
Yeah, just because your friend needs your ear or shoulder or even advice sometimes, and also just because empathy (and compassion) are awesome traits to display during their time of need, you do not have to get as involved as she is — in fact, that’s a surefire way to be out here putting your own needs in jeopardy because you’ve still got other relationships to tend to, responsibilities to take care of and bills to pay. What sense does it make for you both to be damn near basket cases? It absolutely doesn’t.
Listen, there were some days when my friend was so irritated with her ex (especially when they were going through the divorce process) that she would take her frustrations out on me (because if she did it to him, it would make the negotiating process more stressful). Although I understood what was going on, that didn’t mean that I had to take “the lashes” that were deserved by someone else — and so, I told her so. Several times, I said, “Look, we rarely fight unless it has something to do with him, and we’re not going to lose our friendship over that dude. I love you, and I’m hanging up now. Call me when you’re feeling better.”
I made sure that she knew that I wasn’t going to abandon her. I also knew that I wasn’t going to tolerate her beating up on me either. See: watching them on the roller coaster and not getting on it. Brilliant.
Be Patient with THEIR Process
GiphyLove is patient.Oh, if only more folks actually knew what the definition of "patient" actually is — at least in the context of the point that I’m about to make: “bearing provocation, annoyance, misfortune, delay, hardship, pain, etc., with fortitude and calm and without complaint, anger, or the like.” I’m telling you from very personal and up-close experience that very few things will test the strength of your bond with a friend quite like them (or you) going through a divorce. Why? Because the decision alone is going to impact them to the extent that it makes them a different person on some level. Then you’ve got to add to that the fact that when they change, there can be nuances within your own relationship that may shift as they start to see themselves in a different life and begin to live their life in a different kind of way.
All of this might be hard to hear, and yet, as the saying goes, divorce is indeed a type of death — and death affects everyone differently (the grieving process does, too). That’s why, as I close this out, it’s super important to remember to be patient with your friend as they go through their process. Remain calm. Give them space. Get that some days are going to be better than others. Don’t be so quick to respond or react to everything because again, they are grieving. And know that, as I once heard someone on television say, even despair will eventually exhaust itself.
Will divorce change your friend and, in some ways, even shift certain dynamics of your friendship? Probably. Still, if you practice patience, it can actually make your friendship with your friend stronger…even as their marriage may be falling apart. I am living proof of that.
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