Niecy Nash On The Three Words That Have Shaped Her Career & Her Success
"Stand in a place where you believe the best is yet to come for you and that is what you will receive." - Niecy Nash
When life takes unexpected turns for what may seem the worst, it's often difficult to keep the faith and push through whatever life may throw at you.
Not letting life experiences define you or distract you from your goals is often easier said than done. However, what seems impossible is very possible. In fact, more often than not, it's the story behind some of the most success people to grace the Earth.
Niecy Nash is one of the most talented black actresses and comedians to grace the Hollywood scene and her journey has been anything but easy. Niecy went through many experiences in her life that could have pushed even the strongest person to give up but Niecy believes that it's those experiences that have made her stronger.
In ESSENCE's Ladies Panel on Strength, Niecy shared how her past hardships have shaped her present and future:
"I think what happened for me is that my background was filled with alot of broken places. I saw my mother get shot when I was a young kid. My only brother was murdered. I went through a divorce and when I signed that paper--my ex-husband was my pastor. I lost my husband, church, and my man all with the signing of a pen. But I decided the summary of those experiences could not define me. I went through it but I'm not that."
Recently, Niecy sat down with The Grio to discuss the power of being a visionary and speaking your destiny into existence.
"God will always stamp your destiny on the canvas of your imagination. Things will happen that will make you want to doubt that, make you want to question that, make you want to second guess that. But I say hold on that no matter what. Whatever else is happening, because the man don't lie, you hold on to the thing that he gave you. You tuck that in and you pursue that thing. The three [words] I live by in my career is 'no matter what.' I don't care if I have to cry all the way to an audition where I have to go be funny. When I get in there, I'm going to wipe my face, pull up and walk in and be like 'She's here. There she is. She's ready!''"
On why she believes in the power of the word "no":
"The most powerful word to me in the English language is 'no.' Because when I'm saying 'no' to you, guess what--I'm saying 'yes' to me. Come on yes!"
On why she chooses to uplift those around her:
"I was in a situation when my mind changed about what I wanted, everything around me changed, and I purposed to get the promise. What is the promise? Happiness, love, being a blessing to others--I just purposed to be that to others in spite of my past, and that's how I push through."
On society's outlook on fear vs. her personal way of conquering it:
"It's so interesting because society will tell you to try to conquer your fear before you enter in. And I just feel like I don't care if I'm scared, I'm still going. I could feel a way but I'm gone put on my shoes and I'm still gone walk in that room. And the 3 words that have pushed me through that place are 'no matter what.' I've been to comedy auditions where I wanted to go in there being so funny, crying the whole way there because something happened, but I wasn't going to turn that car around. I was going to pull up in that lot, get that makeup out and smack it back down."
We can't underestimate that power that our imagination and our tongue has on the outcomes we see in life. It's the reason why create vision boards, mantras, and other tools that we use to help manifest good things into our lives. Take a page out of Niecy's book and start envisioning the lift that God already has carved out for you.
Watch her full interview with The Grio below.
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- Niecy Nash on why TV needs more real female diversity - Salon.com ›
- Niecy Nash Quotes - BrainyQuote ›
- Comedian Niecy Nash: there are “women in the world besides black ... ›
- See Niecy Nash in Trailer for TNT's Nail Salon Drama 'Claws' ›
- Niecy Nash's Message To Single Women: We Attract What We Are ... ›
- Niecy Nash News, Pictures, and Videos | E! News ›
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Another season of Love Is Blind has come to a close, and almost two months later we’re still unpacking the drama that is Clay and AD. The finale, reunion, and post-interviews with Clay and AD after season six of Love Is Blind left millions of people wondering - why couldn’t AD see the signs? Clay told her he had a fear of marriage, his parents experienced infidelity, and he seemed to have many doubts about saying, "I do."
After changing his mind at the altar and hearing AD question why she feels like she’s never enough, I was finished watching. I didn’t need to hear anything else because, at that moment, I realized this wasn’t about Clay; this was about AD feeling inadequate before she ever met Clay.
If I’m honest, I don’t watch much dating television. TikTok keeps me updated with the clips that I need to see in order to be kept in the loop, but it’s difficult for me to watch an entire season of dating TV because seeing Black women settle for less and questioning their beauty is a trigger for me. In many ways, there were points in my life where I was AD, settling and ignoring red flags because I wanted to be loved.
Now, on the other side, it doesn’t feel good to see Black women lower their standards on national television. There have been many hot takes on this couple and who was in the wrong. Did Clay play in AD’s face or did she not listen to the truth of what he told her from day one? Was his reason for joining the show to promote his business and not to find the one?
We’ll never know the truth, but what we can do is learn tactics to better our self-worth. Founder and CEO of The Self Love Organization Denise Francis shared her expertise with xoNecole on what tangible steps to take to improve feelings of worthiness. “Self-love blooms in a garden where self-worth is planted, nourished, and whole. However, when your self-worth is challenged, displaced, or broken, it could be difficult to rebuild," Denise explains.
How To Rebuild Self-Worth
During her self-love coaching sessions, Denise likes to walk her clients through the cornerstones of rebuilding self-worth: grace and self-compassion. To her, self-worth is never lost, it's only displaced, so practicing self-compassion and giving yourself grace is a must. "We tend to place our self-worth in entities and people of ourselves such as relationship status, physical appearance, material possessions, social media followings, what others think of us, and more. Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth.
"Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth."
"When we place our value into people or things, we tend to feel that we are not enough, worth it, special, or important when relationship status, job titles, friendships, and physical appearances are lost or changed. We then tend to feel lost within ourselves because we’ve placed our value outside of ourselves. Using grace and compassion, you can rebuild your self-worth by returning home to who you are at your core," she concludes.
How To Return Home To Yourself
Denise advises taking a step back and using self-reflection through journaling by answering the following journaling prompts:
First, ask yourself, "What do you tend to attach your self-worth to and why?"
Is it your relationships, your job title, your finances, your appearance, etc.? Why do you think you place so much emphasis on external status? How does it make you feel when you are defining yourself through these entities and/or people outside of yourself?
Then, ask yourself, "Without these things, who am I?"
Once you have your answers, show yourself kindness, remove the shame, and, as Denise says, "Redefine yourself by detaching your value from the things and people you have no control over and no longer serve you. Challenge yourself to define yourself outside of titles and societal values."
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person. You begin to find value in the way you love instead of your relationship status, your compassion instead of your popularity, your drive instead of your income/job title, and your heart instead of your physical appearance," she adds.
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person."
"Be intentional with healing your self-worth by leaning into the people and things that nourish your core values. Surround yourself with the people who love and cherish you, they will always remind you just how valuable you truly are."
It all goes back to self-compassion and grace. As Denise explains, leading with those two things as you heal and rebuild your self-worth allows you to reduce negative self-talk that might come up for you. "This weakens thoughts like, 'I am not enough... why am I never enough?'" she shares, "And 'I don't deserve this while strengthening thoughts like 'I deserve better,' 'I am enough,' and 'I am worth it.'"
Denise continues, "Once you return home and remember the irreplaceable person you are, you can rebuild your self-worth by placing it back where it belongs. It belongs to you."
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Featured image by LaylaBird/Getty Images
