

Your March 2023 Horoscopes Are All About Endless Possibilities
March is one of the most important months of 2023 astrologically. March is going to be a game-changer for many people, and this is the month that changes everything for the collective. The month begins in Pisces Season with Mercury entering Pisces on March 2nd. Perspectives are opening to new compassion and guidance right now, and anything feels possible. Mercury in Pisces brings a spiritual approach to the world, and divine clarity is taking place this month- pay attention to the signs.
The Full Moon of the month is happening in Virgo, and this Full Moon will be occurring on March 7th. This Full Moon is the Worm Moon of the year, and new developments are taking place right now. This Full Moon is about letting go of the chaos, getting organized, and focusing on your health and what is worthy of your time. Saturn makes its significant transit from Aquarius into Pisces on the same day, and this is when things start to change. Saturn in Pisces turns the focus from the material to the spiritual. A lot of people will be moving through an inner awakening during this time, and the world at large will be more focused on transparency, compassion for humanity, and learning to trust and grow your intuition and connection to the universe.
When it comes to matters of the heart, Venus enters Taurus on March 16th, and love is about being grounded, supportive, and allowing romance to fill your world. Venus in Taurus is sensual, beautiful, and appreciates the value of love. Don’t be afraid to show others how you feel and focus on what feels stable and secure for you in your relationships right now. On the 20th, Aries Season officially begins, and there is a spark of excitement in the air right now. Aries Season is feisty and the passion runs high during this time. With a New Moon in Aries the next day on the 21st, the end of March is all about independence, courage, and setting intentions for where you want to be.
Pluto moves into Aquarius on March 23rd, where it will remain until 2043. Pluto's transits are generational, so Pluto’s move into Aquarius is a big one. Pluto now moving through this air sign is all about the progression of humanity, and about focusing more on what is going to serve the collective rather than just the self. A few days later, Mars moves into emotional Cancer after being in Gemini since August 2022, and this is good news as there will be less mental chaos, and more emotional growth, clarity, and progression.
If you are looking for a change in your life, March is the month it's going to happen for you.
Aries Monthly Horoscope for March 2023
March for you is all about not giving up on your dreams, Aries. Open your mind to the possibilities of what is ahead of you, and remember your strength when things feel challenging. With Saturn moving into your 12th house of endings, closure, and healing on March 7th until May 2025, you enter a multi-year journey of resolution, and a spiritual awakening will be occurring during this time.
There is a lot of energy moving through Aries in March with your season beginning toward the end of the month. Starting March 19th, Mercury enters your sign, the next day Aries Season begins, and the day after that on the 21st, there is a New Moon in Aries as well. Change is evident for you in March, and it’s all about knowing the difference between what is out of your control, and what can be transformed.
Taurus Monthly Horoscope for March 2023
March is a month of success for you, Taurus. You have gotten your groove back, and you are moving full speed ahead. The support, achievements, and personal growth you have been working toward are all happening for you this month, and there is a lot to be grateful for right now. Align with your determination, focus on your goals, and claim your success.
There is something beautiful happening this month and that is Venus, your ruling planet, entering your sign from March 16th - April 11th. Love is on your side and it’s time to find your balance within your relationships. You are being received especially favorably in March and it’s all about allowing yourself to feel the joy in how far you have come, and the love that is coming your way right now.
Gemini Monthly Horoscope for March 2023
This is the month to put the work in, Gemini. March is all about honing in on your skills and talents in life, and also being open to learning something new. Remember that what you put in is a direct reflection of what you get and that it’s time to ground yourself in dreams you are bringing to fruition right now.
Mars has been in your sign for an unusually long time, over six months, and finally moves out of here on March 25th and enters Cancer. With Mars moving out of your sign, you can take a deep breath and release all of the pent-up energy that has been flowing through your world since August 2022. You have learned a lot about yourself during this period, and now you are more clear on what you want to invest in and prioritize moving forward with Mars now moving into your 2nd house of investments and finances until May.
Cancer Monthly Horoscope for March 2023
Trust the process this month, Cancer. It can feel like a lot is happening for you at once in March, and your main guidance for the month is to take things easy and not let life overwhelm you. Take a look at what is true, and what may be self-sabotage stemming from overthinking. Do what you can in each moment, and save what you can’t for another day.
The Full Moon happening this month on the 7th will be moving through your house of communication, and you are receiving important clarity and ready to let go of what’s been mentally impacting your happiness. Mars moves into your sign before the month ends on the 25th, and that sense of feeling drained at the beginning of the month begins to turn around for you now as you enter an action-packed next few months.
Leo Monthly Horoscope for March 2023
March is all about perspective for you, Leo. Life is really what you make it this month and the more you can focus on what is working out for you rather than what isn’t, the better. Look at changes to plans as new opportunities and try to see the treasures in what is presenting itself to you this month.
Saturn makes its new journey into your 8th house of transformation, debt, taxes, shared resources, sex, death, and rebirth this month as well. Over the next few years, you will be moving through a time of feeling more challenged when it comes to change and recognizing some fears and emotional patterns that need to be addressed. The month ends with a New Moon in your 9th house of adventure on the 21st, and you are embarking on a new, exciting path.
Virgo Monthly Horoscope for March 2023
This is a beautiful month of clarity, pleasure, and patience, Virgo. This month is setting you up to enjoy your time more and appreciate those little moments of bliss. You have planted the seeds, and right now it’s about nurturing your garden of dreams. There is new life upon you in March and you are truly seeing the fruits of your labor over the next few months.
At the beginning of March on the 7th, there is a Full Moon in your sign. This Full Moon is giving your clarity and shining the spotlight on you and who you are. Let go of what doesn’t support you and your growth, and dream big. On the 16th Venus moves into Taurus, and this is good news for you as a fellow earth sign. Love, relationships, and personal finances are all getting a boost of excitement and adventure for you until April 11th. Enjoy your life, Virgo.
Libra Monthly Horoscope for March 2023
This is a powerful month for you, and you are manifesting your dreams, Libra. The power is in your hands right now, and you have all the tools necessary to succeed. March is all about offering a new perspective and allowing yourself to give the love you are wishing to receive. Write lists of gratitude, and know that the good you are feeling this month is only the beginning for you.
Saturn moves into your 6th house of health on the 7th where it will remain for the next few years. Health and working matters become prominent in your life, and this is where you should be investing more of your time and energy. Envision what a healthy, good, daily routine would look like for you, then take those steps toward that. The New Moon of the month happens on the 21st, and you are ready to start fresh in love.
Scorpio Monthly Horoscope for March 2023
March is a revelation month for you, Scorpio. You are gaining clarity on what experiences need to be laid to rest, and what growth can be enhanced through your positive attention toward them. The month begins with a Full Moon in your 11th house of friendship, and you are seeing who your people are this month. Don’t be afraid to open up and express to your support systems how you are feeling.
Your ruling planet Pluto makes a significant transit in March and that is its move from Capricorn into Aquarius. Pluto has been in Capricorn since 2008, as its transits are lengthy. Pluto will now be in your 4th house of home and family from March 2022 to March 2043. Pluto's attention here brings empowerment into your home life, but you will also be experiencing some intense changes. Generational healing will be taking place now.
Sagittarius Monthly Horoscope for March 2023
This month is all about the vision, Sagittarius. Your empowerment is coming through from your positive and open perspective, and you are seeing things clearly right now. There is a lot of passion and excitement in your life in March, and everything feels possible for you right now. Saturn moves into Pisces on the 7th and into your 4th house, and you will be laying some new foundations in your life over the next few years and will be challenged to find more stability in your life.
On the 21st of the month, there is a New Moon in fellow fire sign Aries, and this is a romantic New Moon for you. Set your intentions for your relationships and love life during this time, and see what blooms for you. March is all about broadening your horizons and considering the possibilities of what is ahead of you. Consider the best possible outcome for yourself- then imagine it going even better than that.
Capricorn Monthly Horoscope for March 2023
Balance is coming into your life this month, Capricorn. You have some important decisions to make this month, and you are also seeing the positive results of past intentions and paths that have been walked on. Karma is on your side right now and with your ruling planet Saturn making a significant transit into Pisces this month, you are feeling more light-heartedness in your life and will be working toward growth with friendships, neighbors, siblings, and business.
Moving further into the month, Venus moves into a fellow earth sign and will be in your house of love, happiness, and romance from March 16th to April 11th. There are a lot of opportunities for bliss coming into your life now and remember to remind yourself that you are worthy of this unconditional love. Express yourself and let the scales come into balance.
Aquarius Monthly Horoscope for March 2023
Everything is coming full circle for you this month, Aquarius. March is your time of culmination and seeing positive progression when it comes to your financial world. Support is there for you, abundance surrounds you, and you are growing. This month is here to bless you and make sure you feel confident, grounded, and like you have everything you need in your life.
One of the most significant transits of the year for you is happening in March, and that is Pluto's entry into your sign. Pluto will be in your sign from 2022 to 2043, and you are moving through a long-term journey of finding yourself, expressing yourself, and feeling empowered doing so. Aquarians are often changing the world in some way, and you are aligning with this power of knowing what humanity needs to grow and progress right now.
Pisces Monthly Horoscope for March 2023
There is a settling down happening in your life this month, Pisces. March is a time to honor yourself, your energy, and your perspective, and allow change to take place gracefully. You need more time to figure some things out right now and you are choosing between two opportunities and paths forward. Give yourself space to work things out, and trust that the answers will come to you.
Saturn moves into Pisces on March 7th, where it will remain until 2025. You are entering a new journey of feeling more pressure to grow, develop, and be able to stand on your own for the time being. This time in your life isn’t here to push you around, but it is here to make sure you have enough foundation on your own to withstand the tests of time no matter what comes your way. You are growing, you are blooming, and you always have the power of choice.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
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Tayler Barakat is a Mystic who has studied Astrology for over a decade. She does intuitive astrology and tarot readings for people all over the world, and her work focuses on healing and empowering individuals. Follow her on Instagram @taylerbarakat_ and check out her website www.listentothevirgo.com.
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Is There Such A Thing As 'Friendship Infidelity'?
Y’all, I don’t know if now just happens to be a heavy season for this or perhaps it’s just me, but whether it’s been on Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, or “X” (which we all know is still Twitter…LOL), have you noticed that a lot of people have been talking about the pain of going through a friendship break-up? I’ll be the first to raise my hand in this class and say that some of the ones that I’ve personally experienced over the course of my lifetime damn near took my breath away; especially when it comes to the unexpected levels of grief that oftentimes typically follow (check out “How To Heal From A Broken Friendship”).
When I write my next book (that’s currently slated for release in June of 2024; just in time for a big milestone), I’m going to share some of the things that personally caused me to go through the ending of some friendships. For now, I’m going to share a big one: friendship infidelity.
Yeah, I know — oftentimes, whenever the word “infidelity” is used, the main (if not only) thing that comes up in people’s minds is someone cheating on their partner. However, if you’ve read my content for a while now, you already know that an “occupational hazard” of mine is the fact that, as a writer, I’m pretty word-literal. Therefore, when it comes to infidelity, I’m aware that it’s got more than one meaning. And when it comes to friendship (or so-called friendships — check out “Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?” and “7 Signs Your Friendship...Actually Isn't One”), yes, there is a definition that totally applies. Let’s discuss.
What Does Infidelity Literally Mean?
In order for this to “scratch any itch” that you might have about this particular topic, let’s get into the definition of infidelity that I was referring to. While yes, the most popular one is “marital disloyalty; adultery” (one day, we’ll have to talk about how the Bible doesn’t define adultery in the way that folks think it does (check out Matthew 19 sometime), another definition is “unfaithfulness; disloyalty.” While we’re at it, let me share a few synonyms for the word too: betrayal, falseness, inconstancy (bookmark that), deceit, double-dealing, fraud, breach of trust, violation, dishonesty, and false-heartedness.
Okay, so now do you see how it is totally appropriate to use the word “infidelity” in the realm of friendship if someone has been unfaithful or disloyal to you in any of these ways (that inconstancy one is a mutha!)? Do you also get that there is a huge possibility that, even if you don’t want to admit it to yourself, there are times when you’ve committed some form of infidelity when it comes to one or more of the friends in your life?
Because be real — have you never breached their trust? Have you always been consistent? To violate is to treat someone or something with disrespect. Have you never done that before? Only your ego would tell you that you’ve been a perfect friend — and the ego lies.
That said and with the meanings of a different kind of infidelity established, let’s now talk about how to approach this type of experience…because it ain’t easy.
When It Comes to Faithfulness in Your Friendships, What Should Your Expectations Be?
As far as having my own accounts, I don’t do social media (still trying to decide if I will, a little bit, around my book release) — and it has been peace, wonderful peace, to live that way. This means that it’s pretty rare that I’ll read comments via any of the platforms I write for (also peaceful). Oh, but a few years ago, when I penned “Why I Prefer My Friends To NOT Be Friends With Each Other,” I did tiptoe out a bit, and boy, some folks were disgruntled with me, chile. I was called petty, problematic, and a host of other stuff.
Uh-huh first, I don’t get how you can be mad at me about what works for me and my life (being controlling manifests in all sorts of cryptic ways) and secondly, time and experience have taught me that it’s a boundary that has served me extremely well. One of the reasons is that, since friendship infidelity is a very real thing, my lines not crossing helps to keep people from betraying my confidence or double-dealing in a way that may not even be intentional.
An example? Say that I have two friends and I tell one of them something in confidence. Then she tells the other friend, assuming that I already had because she thought that the other friend and I had similar discussions. This would be a non-issue if I hadn’t brought them together in the first place.
Another example is, one of my closest friends has some people who I like a lot who live in Nashville (my friend doesn’t). Sometimes, when she comes into town, we’ll all hang out. I don’t do it outside of that, though, because there are things that she shares with me about them on occasion (from a getting a different perspective to make certain decisions angle; especially since I’m a life coach) that I don’t want to make her or them feel awkward about (even if it’s just due to somewhat of a shift in my energy). Plus, everyone just needs to have their own people. This ain’t high school; everyone doesn’t have to be in the same cliques.
If one of my friends wants to vent about me…I don’t care if/when they are talking to someone who I don’t even know…because I’m not friends with that person… because I don’t expect anything from a complete stranger. So again, this type of boundary has served me extremely well over the years — and my friends agree. It has made “faithfulness” so much easier for all parties involved because again, lines don’t cross and things don’t get messy.
Okay. I’ll give you one more example that has to do with one of my male friends and his personal friendship-related preference. Due to his high-profile profession, he doesn’t like to be discussed at all, not even casually (really). He doesn’t want me to bring his name up and, when someone else does, he prefers that I keep the conversation down to an absolute minimum, no matter what the topic is. For him, it works for his close friendships to be somewhat private, so that people don’t know who they can go to in order to get in touch with him or to receive any intel that he hasn’t directly shared — professionally or personally.
Some people may call that “paranoid.” For him, it’s safe to move that way. And so, as his friend, it’s not my job to try and talk him out of his standard. If I value our friendship, I simply need to honor his request — plain and simple. To do otherwise would be an act of unfaithfulness (especially if I agreed to what he asked me to do and then switched up on him).
So, when it comes to you, what are your expectations? What do you need — actually require — of your own friends? Have you stated those things? Because you should never assume that your definition of what a friend should be is exactly the same as someone else’s. Next, have you made it abundantly clear to them that if those expectations are not honored, you will feel some level of betrayal? If you haven’t, you should because, although most of us can agree that a partner sleeping with someone other than their own spouse is a form of infidelity, friendship infidelity isn’t quite so black and white.
If you want your friend(s) to be faithful — “true to one's word, promises, vows, etc.,” “steady in allegiance or affection; loyal; constant” — you need to be upfront with them about what they are vowing to do…what you want them to be constant in? Because, again, how you might roll as a friend may be something different to/for them.
Come to think of it, love languages in friendships is a good example of this. One of my close friends is a quality time person; I’m not. On the other hand, I am a words of affirmation person; she isn’t. She used to think that it was a given that I should want to hang out at least once a month and I used to get irritated that she wasn’t big on words. When we had a talk about our individual expectations, we found a “middle ground” and that made things so much easier…on both sides. Indeed, in order to be faithful (or unfaithful), you first gotta know what you’ve agreed to be faithful to. It’s not fair to expect someone to honor you and what you bring to a friendship if you’re not communicating your expectations on the front end.
So, what should your expectations in your friendships be? That, I can’t answer for you, because even when it comes to across-the-board traits like support, availability, and communication, honestly, even those are gonna manifest differently for different people.
All I’m saying is make sure that you share what your expectations are as you listen to theirs as well. That way, you both can move forward in your friendship knowing what you have mutually agreed to actually be faithful to.
What Should You Do If a Friend “Cheats on You”?
Okay, so what if, after you have established what you need/expect from your friend, they are unfaithful or disloyal? That’s kind of a loaded question because there are a lot of different ways that this box can get checked. For instance, I once had a friend who kept trying to put me in touch with someone who I knew was unsafe (on a lot of levels). She kept asking and I kept telling her “no.” One day, she called me and then handed that person the phone — she was disloyal because she dishonored my boundary.
Back in the day, I used to write devotionals and I shared the story (sans her name) in it. All of a sudden, she thought that she was the victim (gaslighting friends are something else). So wait — you put me in harm’s way and I need to apologize to you for it? If her identity was obvious (I didn’t even say “she”), I get it — it wasn’t. She just felt guilty and didn’t want to take accountability. As a result, she weaponized our friendship by going ghost for like a year and then tried to come back as if nothing had ever happened. Chile.
For me, there was no coming back. The way she handled that, on a few different levels, was emotionally draining and I honestly didn’t have the stamina for it. So, I ended the relationship officially. Years later, we saw each other and made our peace. I’m fine with it being just that (check out “Why I Don't 'Cut People Off' Anymore, I Release Them Instead”).
That’s kind of an extreme example. Still, the reason why I brought it up is because I wanted you to see how I handled one form of friendship infidelity: I thought about what happened, I pondered what I was getting (and not getting) from the friendship, I thought about how she handles things when she is in the wrong and I focused on what would be the benefits and challenges of keeping her in my life. The conclusion that I came to is I care enough about her that we’re not rolling our eyes in the mall or sucking our teeth whenever one of our names comes up to the other yet I don’t want her to continue walking closely to me in my journey. I’m good.
For you, it might be a bit different. What if one of your friends betrays you in some way? Is it fair to take a “one-and-done” approach? I dunno. Is that how you would want your friends to handle you? Do you want to feel like, no matter what, after you make one mistake (or poor choice; not everything is a mistake…some things are intentional), there’s no coming back? If so, you might not want to have relationships at all because humans are fallible, INCLUDING YOU. You might as well settle in with that fact now or you’re about to be triggered, irritated, or angry for most of your life, chile.
What Should You Do If YOU’RE the One Who Cheats?
Over the weekend, I watched a movie where a woman cheated during a long-distance relationship and then claimed that her boyfriend was “punishing her” because he wasn’t over it a month later. The first thing that came to my mind? A lack of accountability. Why? Because I’m pretty sure that if the shoe had been on the other foot, she wouldn’t be all rainbows and sunshine four weeks later…either.
Being that I grew up in an environment (pretty much everywhere, including church) where folks absolutely sucked at taking personal responsibility for their actions without trying to make excuses, using justifications, deflecting, or gaslighting, I am almost violent about making sure that I don’t follow suit. And because I’ve had times when I’ve violated someone’s boundaries (I used to be more controlling than I should’ve ever been) and/or betrayed their trust (just because I’m basically an open book, that doesn’t mean that I should assume that everyone is the same way) — I’ve had to learn how to take full ownership for my actions. Then, if the person is open to accepting my apology, I would take things up a notch by making amends (check out “Heads Up: It's NOT An Apology If An Amends Isn't Made”).
If you’re not sure what an "amends" is, basically, when you’ve done something that has offended someone or caused them some type of harm if you’re truly remorseful, it’s not enough to flippantly toss a “my bad” in their direction. No, when you really get the magnitude of what has transpired — and if you want to restore the damage that was caused — you need to be intentional about doing something that will help with the healing process. This can happen with a simple, “What can I do to make things better?” People who apologize and then ask something along those lines show that they really get what they did; not only that but they are displaying that they want to humble themselves enough to help the person they hurt to “recover” in any way that they can.
So, if you are the one who was unfaithful or disloyal — own it, address it, apologize (without any unnecessary extra-ness, make amends, and then give your friend space to heal…however they need to do so. Infidelity hurts in any kind of relationship dynamic yet when two people — BOTH INDIVIDUALS — really want to make things work, they can come back from it. Oftentimes better than they were before.
How to Heal from Friendship Infidelity
It really can’t be said enough that humans are fallible. In fact, it is my belief, that if more of us said that as a mantra, five times a day, we’d probably be a lot more merciful than we tend to be. Because since none of us are perfect — INCLUDING OURSELVES — it really is pretty ridiculous to expect to be in relationships with folks and have them never disappoint you (where they do that at?!). The reality is sometimes a friend may be disloyal — not in a malicious or redundant kind of way (another message, another time) but just…they didn’t meet your requirements, they hurt your feelings (even if not intentionally) or they simply made a poor decision. Just like you have before — and at some point, will again.
Yes, it can hurt; trust me, I’ve been there. At the same time, you can heal from the pain and your friendship can survive too. The key is to really process the character of your friend, the track record of your friend, and if the benefits far outweigh the challenges with them. If everything is on the upswing, talk to your friend about how you are feeling, pay close attention to how they respond (if there is remorse, compassion, and patience), and then make the decision that you want to move forward. And then move in a way that shows that you’ve learned from it all.
For instance, say that you told one of your friends something in confidence and they repeated it. After getting context, if it was reckless chatter, healing begins with forgiving them, them trying to make things right and then you easing into sharing anything else. No, it’s not about keeping the door shut forever — it’s more like, telling them something that you don’t really mind if it gets out. If it does, although that’s not a big deal, you will now see that yapping is a pattern for them and so, although you like having them in your life, being a “confidant space” is not where they need to be — at least not for quite some time.
And what if, in your opinion, there is no coming back from friendship infidelity? How do you heal from that? Well, you need to grieve it like you would grieve anything else. Go through the five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The key is to not stay stuck; especially in anger. Because really, how is that gonna help or change anything?
I’ve gone through some acts of extreme infidelity that took me a while to move to acceptance — really accepting that it happened and fully accepting that I had to let the relationship go. Yet once I got there, healing was waiting for me. Because I wasn’t beating myself up trying to read someone else’s mind or motive or exhausting myself by wishing things were different. No one can change the past. Even accepting that can restore you to some pretty unexpected levels.
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This is the kind of topic that I really could write an entire book about. For now, I just hope that this article provides some clarity that, if you wonder if unfaithfulness is a real thing as far as friendship is concerned, it most certainly is. It’s also not automatically unforgivable either.
Last example: I’ve got a friend of decades who prioritized a woman that he barely knew over our friendship. Meaning, she was threatened by me being around and so he did whatever to make her happy even at the expense of what we agreed to do and be to each other, as friends. Friendship infidelity. He has since apologized and I told him what I am a firm believer in: the apology needs to breathe. I need to take some time, he needs to take some time and, in time, either we will still see value in our dynamic or, because an apology was made and then accepted, peace will always remain between us.
Infidelity is something that none of us want to experience — oh, but we probably will. When it comes to your friendships, perhaps you’ve got a (better) grasp on how to handle it.
Whether you’re on the giving or receiving end. Live long enough, chile, for better or for worse, you will know about both. I can almost guarantee it.
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