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Her Weekend, Her Way: Makini Regal Martin’s Self-Care Non-Negotiables
As a part of our Friday Nights, Saturday Mornings feature, we're talking to some of our favorite boss ladies about their weekends, their way. How do they relax, recharge and refuel? As we all know, life shouldn't be all about work. It's what we do beyond business and career that help keep us motivated and able to dominate for the week ahead.
Say hello to event designer and lifestyle influencer Makini Regal Martin of Makini Regal Designs. Known for her luxurious decor and impeccable personal style, Makini opens us about why recharging is critical in her world, how she manages her many roles as a wife, mother, and businesswoman - and why therapy is a non-negotiable part of her self-care.
Courtesy of Makini Regal Martin
"I have to make sure that I have enough fuel to pour back into my business after attending to family needs is something I am continuously working on."
Makini’s biggest business challenge:
"Managing my roles and responsibilities are [some] of my biggest business challenges. As a new mom and semi-new wife, making sure that I carve out time for my family is a priority. Also, running the business I started prior to being married and being a mother is just as important to me. I have to make sure that I have enough fuel to pour back into my business after attending to family needs is something I am continuously working on."
How she spends her Friday nights:
"Friday nights has become a day I dedicate to myself. What gives me that recharge and what I need is to spend time with the people who know me best which are my girlfriends. That's usually a night where we catch up, have dinner, and have a glass of wine. Sometimes we incorporate some of our fitness and health activities - like going to a yoga or meditation class."
How she powers up on Saturday Mornings:
"Once my daughter is down, that's typically the time that I can spend checking emails, working on design plans and making sure that the administrative part of my business is addressed. I make sure that even despite some of my work responsibilities on Saturdays, I still do something that is enjoyable for me - whether it's watching a movie with my husband, journaling or meditating."
Courtesy of Makini Regal Martin
Her ideal girls' night:
"Since the new year has hit, I make sure that I'm keeping up with resolutions and doing the things that bring me joy and energy that I need to address other areas of my life. For us, that means a lot of health-related activities. We like yoga, meditation, or even spa days. We make sure to fit in a massage or facial. Even though it sounds superficial - when you feel and look good, you perform better. You're able to be more present in other areas of your life."
Makini’s favorite NYC restaurants:
"Sugarcane (Park Slope, Brooklyn), Champs (Williamsburg), Peaches (Bedstuy), Beso."
Why recharging on the weekend is necessary:
"It's given me a sense of purpose. It's forced me to make sure that I'm really listening to myself and my body. It's also forced me to check in with myself mentally and make sure that I'm in a sound place in order to be able to perform in my many roles and responsibilities.
"Attending to my needs has made me more productive in running my business. It's made me more present when I'm focusing on being a mom or being a wife. Without a doubt, those things go hand in hand. You have to prioritize your needs and self-care despite how busy your schedule is to make sure that you are addressing you."
Courtesy of Makini Regal Martin
"Attending to my needs has made me more productive in running my business. It's made me more present when I'm focusing on being a mom or being a wife."
On the power of therapy:
"Part of my personal self-care journey also includes therapy. Therapy is not as taboo as it used to be, especially in our community. It's still something that I think a lot of Black women should utilize. Prior to giving birth to my daughter, I made sure that I entered into motherhood with that extra support of a therapist that I see weekly. It gives me that safe space to process my thoughts. It gives me the support that I need when life is a bit difficult. I did a lot of research to find a practitioner that would work well for me. I have a Black woman therapist. I've had therapists before and most of them were men or White. For me to have another Black woman as a therapist has been a bonus."
To check out Makini's work and learn more about her life as a lifestyle influencer, designer, wife, and mother - visit her IG @makiniregal @makiniregaldesigns
Featured image courtesy of Makini Regal Martin
Originally published on July 5, 2019
Rana Campbell is a Princeton University graduate, storyteller, content marketing strategist, and the founder and host of Dreams In Drive - a weekly podcast that teaches you how to take your dreams from PARK to DRIVE. She loves teaching others how to use their life stories to inspire action within oneself and others. Connect with her on Instagram @rainshineluv or @dreamsindrive.
These Newlyweds Found Love Thanks To A Friend Playing Matchmaker
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
Jason and Elise Robinson’s union is a reminder that kind people still get their happily ever after. The pair had their first date in October of 2021 and tied the knot on June 15, 2024. Both of them have dedicated their lives to celebrating and supporting Black culture so it was only fitting they get married in what's considered the Black Hollywood of America during the Juneteenth celebration weekend. From the florists to Elise and Jason's gown and suit designers to the table signage and so much more, everything was Black-owned. It's no wonder their love for Black culture was the jumping-off point for their love story.
When they met, Jason had just moved to Atlanta for a new job opportunity, and Elise was living happily in her career and had put dating on the backburner. But luckily, a mutual connection saw something in both of them and thanks to a yoga-themed baby shower and a chance text message, they found their forever. Check out their beautiful How We Met story below.
I’ll start with the easiest question. Can you both tell me a little bit about yourself and your background?
Elise: Sure, my name is Elise. I’m actually from Atlanta, GA – not a transplant. I grew up here and left right after college to pursue my career. Now I’ve been back going on eight years, and I’m in my early 40s.
Jason: And I’m Jason. I’m originally from Racine, Wisconsin. I went to school at Florida A&M University, so I am a rattler. I went back to the Midwest for a period of time, in Indianapolis. Now, I’ve been in the Atlanta area for a little over two and a half years.
Jason and Elise Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Wow, that’s nice because Atlanta gets a bad rap when it comes to relationships. So you have to give us the deets. How did you two find each other?
Elise: So I work in TV and I was on-air for a number of years and then transitioned into being a producer and then a manager. As a producer, I’d always have guests on. And there was a woman who came on frequently named Rosalynn (@Rosalynndaniels, often referred to as The Black Martha Stewart), and we connected instantly. Anyway, she got pregnant right before COVID and invited me to a “modern-day yoga baby shower.” I came to support, but was also just curious about that theme.
I had an amazing time. And when it was over a few of us stuck around and convos got personal. She ended up asking me the infamous ‘Are you dating’ question. When I told her no, she decided to set me up. So I should tell you, in both of my only two serious relationships, I was set up – so I was like no.
But she pointed at her husband, who was folding up chairs, and said that another friend set her up with him. Sometimes, it takes people outside of us to see what we need. A few months later, she reached out and said she had family relocating and thought I’d really like him. So she gave him my number, and I reached out with a text. He responded with a call, and that night, we talked for about 2-3 hours. So that’s how we met. I was a little nervous because me and Rosalynn were starting a friendship, and here I was, talking to her family!
Jason: It was new for me too. Remember, I was new to the area, and I had heard so many “stories” about how people have been done wrong in the dating world. Whether it’s by theft or scamming (laughs). Plus, I had just got a new job and wanted to focus on that. But I did want to be able to date someone in a more personal way and see where it led. I felt like who better than someone who I trust to connect me. Rosalynn knows I’m private, about business life, and my personal life is important to me.
So let’s get into your courtship. What was your first date like?
Elise: We had our first convo on a Monday, and he asked me out the next day. I didn’t have any plans, but I still said no. I was just playing hard to get (laughs). But we were talking every day, and he told me he wanted to take me somewhere I’ve never been. And I’m like, you’re in my city! But he sends me three options, and sure enough, two of the places I hadn’t gone to. So, our first date was October 1, 2021, and somebody was 45 minutes late.
Now Jason, why were you 45 minutes late?
Elise: It was me – in my own city. I just got turned around, and the traffic was horrible. I kept calling him and giving him permission to leave. Full transparency: I probably wouldn’t have waited if the shoe was on the other foot. But this was my first sign of what I now know and love the most about him. It’s his patience. When I got there, I was frazzled and everything, but he was just super calm. It ended up being a great first date.
Jason: I remember just waiting and being concerned for her well-being. Because I know how traffic can be, especially when someone is rushing. I was just scrolling through my phone and looking through the menu. It was cool.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Courtesy
That’s beautiful. Now let’s talk about the “what are we” convo? Did you have one of those and if so, who initiated it and how was it?
Elise: I initiated it. Jason was dating me – and still does. But by this time, we had been on a number of dates. We were on our way to a winery, and we had a bit of a drive. So I decided to state my intention. We were just a few weeks in, but we were spending a lot of time together and we are people of a particular age. So I told him, I know Atlanta can be a Black man’s playground. There’s so many beautiful professional women here. But I’m dating with intention. I don’t want to kick it or hang with a good guy even though he’s not my person. I was done with all of that. So I’m “laying down the law” in my eyes, and he didn’t flinch. He let me finish and basically let me know we were on the same page. He was not trying to sow his royal oats.
Jason: Yeah, I was not trying to be Prince Akeem. But also, it was more so about setting a tone and goal for myself. My mama always told me to set my goals. And having a family was always one of mine. I think the biggest thing of it all, was I felt blessed – in terms of moving for work and meeting Elise, now being married. There’s victories being placed in my life.
I love that you both shared that because sometimes I get feedback on these stories and it seems like sometimes we’re afraid to really voice what we desire, no matter what that looks like.
Elise: Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
Jason: I think her sharing those values resonated with me, and hearing her “lay down the law” was fine because I was there, too. I would say to millennial women, don’t be afraid to tell a mate what you want. You never know what that would lead to. Time is a precious commodity. Elise saying that early on showed me that she values both of our time. It showed her heart, character, and integrity, and I was drawn to that and the mature conversation. In the social media world, we don’t have those pointed conversations face-to-face. I would challenge readers to have those conversations in person, and you would get more from that convo than any post or reel. Because you see body language reactions and have deeper communication.
Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
You both have mentioned time, family, and integrity. I’m curious what other core values do you both share?
Elise: Early on, our faith. Not just do you believe in God. It had to be deeper in that. I needed someone who would lead me, our home, and our family. I didn’t want to be in a push-and-pull relationship about prayer, church, or have conversations about being better people. Also, we discussed finances. That doesn’t just mean going to work. We chatted about ownership and what it looks like for us. How do we support each other individually and together? I know I like having my hands in a few different pots, and I needed someone who was supportive of that and likewise.
Jason: My background is that I was raised in the church. My father is a deacon and my mom is a deaconess. They've been married for 55 years. Faith was very important to me and it was crucial that my wife have that relationship as well.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Can we talk about challenges? Big or small, what are some things you had to grow through together?
Elise: I have never lived with anyone – not a roommate, a sister, friend, boyfriend or anything. Now, I’m in my 40s and I'm living with someone. When you’ve been by yourself for so long that was a challenge for both of us. We weren’t pulling each other's hair out but I’m a bit extreme. Things are color-coded in my closet. For me, working in news is chaotic so I want my home to be peaceful and organized.
Jason: I’m a man, and she’s a woman. That dynamic alone adds a flair to it. She wants things a certain way. She’s a Capricorn. But just in terms of how she wants to keep a home was a big adjustment for me. It took time.
On a smaller level, what are some of the things you disagree about day-to-day?
Elise: Cleanliness and systems. Like, he recycles and I do not. But sometimes I just have to decide if it really needs to be a thing or if I can just take care of it.
Jason: This is where my organization takes over (laughs).
What are your love languages? Do you know?
Elise: Jason’s is an act of service which works because I love cooking for him. It doesn’t feel like a chore to me. I love when I’m out, picking up his favorite juice. The other day I saw he needed t-shirts while folding clothes. So I just like doing small things for him that he doesn’t expect. He’s very much that guy that will ask to help so it doesn’t bother me.
Jason: I’d say Elise is all of them, but physical touch would probably be the biggest one. I had to get used to that. She’s taught me it in a number of ways. I remember we actually talked about love languages, and I sent her this song called “More Than Words” by Extreme. That explained to her how I felt.
Finally, can we end with the proposal? Tell us everything!
Jason: It was at a restaurant. And again, I was trying to find somewhere she hadn’t been. Also, I didn’t want to do it on our anniversary because that would have been too obvious. I contacted one of the restaurant’s staff and decided to change up the dessert menu. Each item was something special to us.
Elise: We go on so many date nights, so I just thought it was a regular night. We had finished eating, and I had to go to the bathroom. They had a nice mirror, girl. So I’m in there taking videos and stuff.
Jason: While she’s in the restroom, I’m getting everything in place with the waitress.
Elise: So as I’m reading the menu, I realize it’s telling our story and he eventually proposed. It was so special; I actually had the menu framed! It was so beautiful and thoughtful.
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Feature image by FotosbyFola
Apryl Jones Reveals How Abandonment Issues Affected Her Relationships
Reality star and actress Apryl Jones is opening up about how childhood abandonment issues have impacted her life and romantic relationships, including with her ex, Omarion Grandberry.
The former couple, who dated for over four years, share two children: 9-year-old son Megaa Grandberry and 8-year-old daughter A'mei Grandberry. On her Wounds in the Way podcast, co-hosted with Melissa Reed, Jones shared these revelations in an episode titled "Dealing with Abandonment and Neglect."
The 37-year-old disclosed that her experience with abandonment began at age 5 when her father was incarcerated. Following his imprisonment, Jones, her mother, and three siblings were forced to move in with her paternal grandmother in Cincinnati, as they were the only relatives living in the States.
The Comeback star revealed that her abandonment issues worsened when her mother returned to Chicago with her two older siblings, leaving Jones and her sister behind. This separation occurred as Jones' mother attempted to regain financial stability and wanted the older children to finish school.
During this time, the Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood star recalled her mother visiting during holidays and the younger girls splitting time between Ohio and Chicago. Despite these arrangements, Jones felt abandoned by both parents – her father due to his imprisonment and her mother because of the limited time they spent together.
Apryl Jones On How Her Past Experience With Abandonment Affected Her Relationships
As the discussion shifted to how her past experiences affected her adult relationships, Jones revealed she had faced abandonment issues with Grandberry during her postpartum period. The mother of two explained that because they were quite young when they fell in love, Grandberry lacked the knowledge to properly support her during those tumultuous times.
“One of those happens to be with the father of my kids. I feel like that was a really trying time. We were young, you know what I mean. I feel like both of us were new in having obviously children. I was going postpartum with my daughter, and I feel like he was trying to figure out his life dynamic with his mom and his family. I was trying to sort through my feelings with postpartum…He didn't have the tools, and he didn’t know how to sort that out and provide and support for me emotionally. So I felt alone. I felt neglected. I felt like I need your support, I need help, and he just didn’t how to give that to me,” she said.
Jones explained that she extends grace to her ex, acknowledging he wasn't equipped to support someone dealing with neglect and abandonment issues. However, the Goon Squad star admitted this period was triggering, as she found herself in a familiar situation where her family life was unraveling.
“That’s not a blame… I can’t be mad at him because, at the end of the day he didn’t have the tools of how to show up for someone who was abandoned,” she stated. ”That's also another case scenario. But I definitely felt like I didn’t have anyone. I don’t have any family here. I don’t have any cousins in LA or anything like that. His family was essentially my family. He was my family. It was difficult to have the closest person in your proximity feel so far away… It was a trigger for me.”
Months after the birth of their second child, Jones revealed that the "Touch" singer requested a temporary break from their relationship. When Grandberry showed no interest in rekindling their union due to his lack of support and late nights out, Jones decided to end the relationship, realizing their romantic partnership wasn't meant to be.
Later in the conversation, Jones shared that Grandberry's decision to request a break ultimately benefited them. The pair have since learned from their mistakes and now maintain a solid co-parenting relationship for their children.
Jones also revealed that the breakup with Grandberry taught her to communicate more effectively.
Apryl Jones On Why She Still Has Abandonment Triggers
When asked about abandonment triggers, Jones admitted they still surface occasionally, mainly due to her father's passing and her unexpressed feelings toward him. However, the Angie's Cure star emphasized that she now possesses the tools to manage these issues effectively.
“I’ll think they’ll always be there, but now I have the tools to move and shift around them. But I feel like, especially with my father passing away this year, I didn’t really get an opportunity to have the finalized conversation that I wanted to. So it’s kind of still embedded. But it’s something like thank God like I’ve been able to sort through, and I feel like my dad is here, and I talk to my dad although that might seem a little crazy. There’s peace around my dad.”
Toward the end of the episode, Jones disclosed that she had made peace regarding her father's passing because, as an adult, she attempted to involve him in her children's lives. However, due to his inconsistent presence, the star established boundaries to protect her children, a decision her father respected.
“When Megaa was born, I had a conversation about, you can be a part of his life. This is your second chance to be able to, you know, be a dad, grandpa figure to them but I need consistency. The moment that I felt like he wasn’t consistent was when I was like I have to protect my kids and that was after A’mei was born. I stood by those boundaries, and I’m not ashamed or mad at myself for doing it because my protection has to be protecting my kids.
"So that’s the part I feel like thank God I did that, and thank God I wasn’t an angry person…It was like I tried…My dad knows that I loved him, and I know my dad loved me but there was a lot of damage that had been done. You’re talking about 20-something years of not having that father figure in your life and still being able to say I’m allowing you in like that was big for me. I know my dad understood. So I can live with that,” she said.
Jones' transparency regarding abandonment issues, the importance of healing, and effective communication is admirable. The star’s openness may spark engaging conversations and potentially inspire others to seek help in healing from their own traumas.
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Feature image by Unique Nicole/WireImage